Scent
by Simla
Summary: Embry discovers his imprint, a damaged young woman with a past.  When the Cullen's shelter her will she ever discover's Embry's love?
1. Chapter 1

What was that smell? I sniffed the air, trying to pinpoint where it was coming from. With horror the realization hit, last week Billy had mentioned to Jacob that some hikers had gone missing. I immediately asked Seth and Jared to come to where I was; I didn't want to find a body on my own.

"_Eww, you're right, that's worse than garbage mixed with bloodsucker," _Seth put his muzzle down, swiping at it with his paws, trying to remove some of the odor.

Jared's head suddenly popped up, _"I think I found it, yeah, I did, it's over here and its worse that you thought."_

I shook my head, but looking at what Seth was seeing, he was right. Jared started to knock some of the leaves, brush, and snow off the body. The body appeared frozen, with a faint blue tint to the skin. I turned to Seth, telling him to go back, to tell Jacob to tell Chief Swan that we had found the hiker.

"Embry, I know, my shift was about to start and since none of you guys had come in yet I phased early to see what was going on."

"Oh man, Jacob the smell is horrible, I know I've never seen someone dead like this before, but this is like nothing." I knew I didn't need to finish that thought, Jacob knew not just what we were thinking, but he could feel what we were smelling too.

"It moved" I turned to look at Seth; he was still gently knocking the snow and other debris from the hikers' body. No one could have survived looking the way that hiker did, besides being frozen the body was crumpled and looked like they had fallen from the cliffs overhead.

Seth poked at the body again, "I think it's a girl" he looked down again and as he exhaled his warm breath onto her the smallest of moans escaped from her.

"Jacob, get here, get here now. . ." We could all hear his thoughts as he ran towards us, within minutes he was there.

Jacob came to a sudden halt when he was within feet of the hiker, his feet still poised in the air like he had frozen midstep. He lifted his head; with short sudden sniffs he began to smell the air. As soon as he identified the smell we all could too, but we all wondered the same things, who was this?

"Seth, run ahead and tell the Cullens what we found, we'll be right behind you."

I couldn't help but think at time like this that Jacob was a good Co-Alpha, even if I wasn't the greatest fan of his imprint with the half-vamp as I called her, he was a great leader.

Seth took off over the hill towards the Cullens, I could hear him thinking not only of what he was going to tell them, but also wondering if Esme would make him breakfast while he was there, that kid always thought about his stomach, even when there was much more serious ting to think about.

Jacob had phased human, Jared and I did too, all we needed was this vamp to wake and see three werewolves staring down at her. Jacob looked at each of us, the smell only slightly more tolerable in out human forms. He and Jared looked at each other, both of them turned to look at me, "you found her, you carry her."

Looking down at her I at first didn't know how I would pick her up, her body, though covered with layers and layers of nothing more than rags, was twisted, broken, and contorted in angles that should have been painful vampire or not. Jared pointed out that as a bloodsucker I couldn't hurt her anymore than she already was, and with that I sucked in my last breath of clean air before reaching down to pick her up.

I didn't want to get her smell on me, to feel her against me. Jacob and Jared both laughed as I carried her, arms outstretched towards the Cullens. The both walked to my right and more than a few feet away, upwind. We all wondered who she was, where she had come from, and most importantly what she was doing there. Jacob especially was worried; with his imprint on Nessie anything dealing with the bloodsuckers had him worried.

Edward was the first one out of the house; you could see the amusement on his face as he read our thoughts about the lost hiker. I thought about dropping her right there, on the Cullens back porch. She was a leech, let them deal with her. I might have too if Carlisle hadn't walked outside at that moment to take his first look at his new patient. His eyes quickly assessed her and looking at me he pointed towards the house, "bring her to my office, Alice will show you the way up"

Great I thought to myself, I'm in the Bloodsuckers house. I had never felt at ease or comfortable there. I knew that Jacob hung out there all the time, that even Seth would visit, but to me being there always put me on edge, the same way I felt before I would phase.

I walked in, quickly scanning for Alice. She started down the steps and came up short part ways down. With a sneer on her face, "Guys, what did you roll in out there?" Ahh, they smelled her too, I almost laughed to myself, this girl must be ripe if she was offensive to her own kind.

I laid the hiker on an exam bed in Carlisle's office, realizing that his office was much like a hospital room. I looked around in amazement, looking at all the equipment, shaking my head as I once again realized just how rich these bloodsuckers were.

Happily stepping aside as Carlisle walked in, I started to leave. I heard Carlisle asking for Edward when I reached the top of the stairs, asking him if he could read any of the hikers thoughts, if there was anything Edward could see that would help figure out who she was.

Downstairs I saw Jacob sitting on the couch, Nessie curled up against him. Seth and Jared both in the dining room, I guess Esme did make her cinnamon rolls. I watched the two of them stuffing themselves, wondering how they could even think of food; I knew my stomach was till turning from that hiker.

Looking around that room, at all the bloodsuckers in there, the hikers smell still clinging to my nose I turned to Jake, "I'm heading home, unless you need me for anything else, I need a shower in the worst way."

Jake grinned, nodding, "Yeah, I can smell you from here," "While you were getting her settled I let everyone know what was going on, but I think I'm going to stick around, see what's going on, stay with Nessie, and who knows, they may end up needing my help when she." Jake lifted his eyes upwards, "wakes up"

I hear Emmett laugh as he heard Jake say the last, but I was so drained by that time all I could do was walk outside and head for the tree line. I debated with myself for about half a second, phasing would get me home quicker, I could was this stink off me faster, but my sense of smell was much greater as a wolf. When I was sufficiently hidden I phased. I might smell it worse, but at least I could get home quicker and I planned on hitting every stream on the way home to get a head start.


	2. Chapter 2

"Pain, that's all I can see, and terror" the voice paused, "yeah, I think Jasper might be able to help"

The room suddenly felt calm, I could sense the frenetic flurry of activity going on around me, someone's cool hands gently pushing on me, prodding me gently, at some point I even thought I felt someone pinching me. Rather than fight with what was going on I allowed myself to be carried by, the hushed murmur of voices, catching only a few words, "bath" "attacked", "help her", before surrendering to the warm darkness that was beginning to surround me.

I slowly became aware of two female voices, it sounded like they were standing over me, talking, but I couldn't make out the words, only the muted sounds of low murmurs. I felt myself being lifted by two small, cold hands. I wanted to protest, I knew what those hands were, what they would try to do to me. My mind felt like it was trying to swim through mud, my body not responding the way I wanted, I wanted to run, to hide, but all I could manage were a few simple moans. I felt like I was being carried, then the quiet murmur of voices again. I could almost make out what they were saying, "Rags" 'just cut them off" then silence as my clothes slipped off and they laid me in a tub filled with hottest water I had ever felt.

I tried to listen, to make out what they were whispering, I could hear one of them stepping back from me, her words mumbled. I didn't care, I was finally warm, I let the water surround me, I didn't even mind all the moving around the small one doing to scrub me and scrub my hair. I had almost drifted off again, when I felt her hands on my shoulders, pushing me forward, exposing my back.

"Jasper!" I slumped back against the tub with thud, the sound of panic evident in the girls' voice, then the flurry of footsteps and voices.

Someone else picked me up this time, I know it wasn't the girl; these arms were larger, stronger. I was carried back in the bed, laid down and heard a calming voice telling me he was going to "turn it up" and then blackness.


	3. Chapter 3

Sleep, all I wanted was sleep. Instead I lay awake, looking at my ceiling. Guess I was up for the day, even if I did feel like I could have used a few more hours. Every since we had found that girl Jake had us all on extra patrols, looking for anything out of the ordinary, even working with the vamps to make sure she had been traveling alone. Listening to my brothers outside. I looked down at myself, even though I had showered almost non-stop for the past three days I couldn't help but smell myself, thinking that I could still smell that leech on me.

With a frustrated grunt I swung my legs over the bed and into a pair of cutoffs lying next to the bed. I smiled with I walked into the kitchen, seeing Emily at the stove, her back to me I knew she had to be cooking something. I barely had a chair pulled out when she turned around, smile on her face, and presented me with a plate of eggs. She nodded to the guys outside, 'they ate earlier." She fluffed my hair with her fingers, looking at me she shook her head, "nope, don't smell anything other than soap." I smiled at her, and then went back to shoveling the eggs in my mouth. After putting the plate in the sink, this was Sam's Emily after all; I wanted to show that I had some manners.

Outside I took a deep breath, there was a light mist coming down. I love the feeling of being outside when it's just barely raining. I stopped right outside the door, debating between joining my brothers and walking to the beach, thinking maybe the air and the walk would help clear some of the leftover cobwebs from sleeping. I hadn't made up my mind yet when Seth shouted out to me, "Yo, Embry, you're on my side . . . these two need to be brought down a peg or two." That decided for me I joined the game of what looked like football based on the ball they were using, but ended up being more of a wrestling match.

After everyone had a chance to pin and be pinned the conversation came around to the latest edition at the Cullen house. No one knew anything about yet, not even Jake who was there almost every day to see Nessie. We all wondered if this was the start of another wave of newborns, if this we someone sent by the Volturi, or just some nomad who got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. I shook my head listening to everyone's theories. "We should have just destroyed it, she's not a Cullen, and we should have just destroyed her." I felt four pairs of eyes on me at that, Jacob having come around the corner of the house.

"Talking about the newest addition I see"

"Yeah, just trying to figure out what's going on, who she is and what she wants."

"Everyone over there has been wondering the same thing too, no one knows anything about her or recognizes her, they think she must be a newborn"

"What do you mean they 'think' don't know anything, she hasn't told them yet?" "They haven't asked her?"

Jake just shook his head, she still hasn't woken up, I'm not sure what happened, something when Alice and Bella were bathing her, Carlisle's been keeping her pretty well sedated, I think trying to decide what to do with her."

"Don't they have a mind reader over at the Cullens, why didn't they just have him read her mind?"

"I think they had him try, but since she's unconscious I guess he can't see anything" Jake Shrugged again, but Carlisle did ask me to have Sam come by tonight. I think he wants to talk about what's going on, what it means that she's here, and hopefully by then he'll have woken her up."

"How's he going to wake her, wave a juicy bag of blood under her nose?" I heard the guys muffle a laugh,

"I'm not sure, I think he's just going to stop giving her the medicine that's he's been giving her to keep her from moving around and hurting herself, she'll still pretty beat up looking, when I'm there I can sometimes hear her moaning in her sleep," Jake got a pained look on his face, "It's almost like they're afraid of her, I don't think I've seen Alice go upstairs since giving her a bath."

After dinner that night Sam, Jacob, Quil, and I headed over to the Cullens. We could hear Leah, Seth, and Jared, as they were on patrol, Leah giving her opinion that, wondering why I didn't just leave the leech out there to finish dying.

"I told you, I thought she was one of the lost hikers, that she was dead. She smelled dead."

"I would have noticed the vamp scent, maybe you've been spending too much time with them," Leah knew how to press buttons, she knew that I did not like them, I could tolerate them, honor the new treaty, but I knew, they were my enemy.

"Both of you two, knock it off; I'm sure Edward would love reading these thoughts! Besides we're here"

With those words Sam, Jake, Quil, and I phased to human. It's mush easier to talk to everyone when we all speak the same language.

Carlisle and Esme greeted us warmly when we walked in, Jacob opening the door without even knocking, sitting on the couch so he could pull Nessie against him. With one look from Sam, Jacob hopped off the couch, taking his place standing next to me. I elbowed Jake in the ribs, just how much time had he been spending here lately?

Alice began walking through the house, opening some windows, I guess in an attempt to improve the smell for everyone. Sam looked at her, nodding his head in thanks.

"Please come in, have a seat" Carlisle spoke, 'It looks as though we have something new to talk about"

Sam spoke, "What have you been able to find out, why is she here?"

Carlisle could only shake his head, "We don't know, we thought we would try to wake her tonight, with you hear, so everyone could get their questions answered."

"Nothing, hasn't Edward heard anything from her?"

With that Edward spoke, "I haven't been able to hear much, mostly because she is under so deep, but there are glimpses, all I can hear is fear and panic from her" He looked down, "She thinks we're going to hurt her"

Everyone's head snapped up at that, why would she think the Cullens would hurt her? I mean, yes they are vampires, but so was she.


	4. Chapter 4

My fingers fumbled, trying to grab at anything to stop from feeling like I was slipping. I tried to think, where was I? What had happened? I knew I wasn't dead, at least not yet. If I listened carefully I could hear movement downstairs, occasionally my door opening and a soft masculine voice talking to me as he used his ice-cold hands to prod and move me. He would run his hand down my hair, leaving it rest on my shoulder; I could tell he was asking me something, I just didn't know what.

Sometimes I could not so much hear, but feel someone else come in. His cold hard hand would sometimes hold mine, but saying nothing. I could feel his gaze on me, but I was so far in a mental maze that he would be gone before I could form a thought. It was maddening, I knew I was in danger here, I wanted to leave, to run, but I couldn't even move my eyelids.

If I listened carefully I could hear the twinkling voice of the girl who carried me on that first day here. I wasn't sure how long I had been here; time had no meaning in my wonderful, maddening, hazy bliss. I think I may have done something to upset her, in flashes I can remember her screaming, something I did, or something she saw frightened her. The next is someone carrying me, and a different pairs of icy hands pulling something over my head. The murmur of concerned voices, then darkness.

I swallow, my mouth feels dry and sticky, I move my eyes, trying to figure out where I am. I stop, hearing new, louder voices coming from somewhere; I think I must be upstairs. I wonder if they are discussing me, deciding terms. I feel panic start to crowd around me; even though I am freezing cold I feel my hands starting to sweat. I try to take a deep breath to steady myself, but my chest feels like it is burning. My sides start screaming, my door flings open, I see him, the vampire walking towards me and I realize too late that it's me screaming.

"Shhh, it's alright, you're safe here, no one is going to hurt you." I hear someone trying to soothe me, I slowly start to see the room come into focus, I don't see faces, but I can make out a few shapes, it looks like two groups. I try to turn, my head feels as though it is weighted with lead, I barely make a moan and see everyone stop. I look up to see a tall blonde male vampire look down at me, taking my hand and telling me to relax, that if I don't I may end up hurting myself. I recognize the voice; this is the man who has been taking care of me, taking away my pain.

"Carlisle, I think she recognizes your voice, she is filled with panic, though, and I can't get through the terror"

I watch as the blond man, I guess his name is Carlisle, reaches up to something hanging beside my bed.

"I don't know how long it will be safe to keep her like this, but I think she should be okay for a few minutes."

Warmth. I see someone walking over out of the corner of my eye, I am suddenly warm. I look up only to see the face of a monster greater than the vampires. I see a flurry of activity, I grab at him, pulling something out of my arm as I stumble out of the bed.

"Stop, stop, Carlisle put her back under" I watch as one of the vampires grabs his head and stumbles.

I take a step towards to the door; only before I reach it I am grabbed from behind by something warm that feels like velvet covered stone. I try to kick out my legs, when I feel a pinch on my shoulder and I am once again swirling in darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

"Just what the hell was that?" Jake was pacing now, stalking the living room. "What just happened up there?'

"I don't know, I thought she was getting better, that she was healing, but now I'm not sure."

Edward looked up, speaking for the first time since we left her room. "I have never seen someone in so much pain, so much terror in all my years," "she was frightened, and scared, she recognized Carlisle's voice, I think she knows that he's helping her, but when she saw Sam it was like she was looking into the face of death." "I could feel her fear."

Bella pulled herself up next to Edward, 'say that last part again, you felt it?"

Edward swallowed, looking at all us, "Something horrible happened to that girl," his eyes flicked towards Alice, "She is scared of all of us, even Jasper isn't enough to calm her."

"Is she dangerous," Sam was the first to speak, "Was she trying to attack me?"

Edward spoke again, "I think, it was more she was trying to escape, to protect herself"

Carlisle came down the stairs, "She's sedated again, and I've asked Emmett and Rosalie to stay with her, to keep an eye on her, to make sure she doesn't try to hurt herself or someone else again."

"Someone, anyone, can you tell me what is going on here?" "Who is she" "Is she the start of a new army?"

Bella spoke, "Was she sent by the Volturi?"

The room went silent, Bella being the first to speak the question we all had.

"No, I would have seen it, I didn't see any of this" Alice held on to Jaspers hand, "She's covered in scars, her back" her voice faltered, "her back looks like a pincushion of bite-marks"

"That can't be right, she couldn't have been bit like that, if she had been turned she wouldn't be as injured as she is, I wouldn't have been able to sedate her"

"What do you mean IF she's been turned, look at her, of course she's turned" Sam looked at Carlisle with disbelief.

"I have looked at her, yes she's got bite marks, but she's not one of us, not all the way."

Bella gasped, "She's turning right now? Who bit her?"

"No, she's not turning; the bites are old, healed. Right now she's healing from her other injuries, from what I can tell and the x-rays showed she's in pretty rough shape."

"What is she then? Is she human?" Quil looked over at Sam, "She's not like any human I'm ever seen, or smelled."

"I don't think she's human exactly, I'm not sure what she is." Carlisle took a few steps, "I'm not with the hospital now, or I'd use their lab, I think she might be some sort of hybrid, but I'm not sure yet, not without doing some more tests."

"That beeping we heard, that was her heart beating?"

"Yes, she's 'alive' that way, but in the shape she's in I'm afraid to wake her again until she gets stronger."

"What did happen to her, what put her in that kind of shape?" Sam sat on the couch, "Even what Jake was attacked by a newborn he didn't look that bad."

Carlisle could only shake his head, "Physically she's got a concussion, her lung was crushed and bleeding, every bone," he looked at all of us then to underscore the gravity of what he was about to say, "Every bone in her body has been broken at some point or another, most have healed, but some haven't. There are breaks over healed breaks, her ribcage was crushed, and that's just what I can tell on the x-rays, externally there's scars all over her body, not just the bite marks, but deep long gashes that run parallel t each other, it's like someone systematically beat her, let her heal then beat her some more."

No one spoke, I could scarcely breath. Who could do that, how could someone hurt another like that?

Edward broke the silence, he could hear all our thoughts anyway, he must have felt the need to answer to the questions we all had. "No, we don't know who did this to her, we don't know why" "We don't know anymore about her than you do, we're still trying to figure it all out too" "She hasn't told us her name, until tonight she hasn't spoken a word" "No, I don't think it was vampires alone that did this to her"

His last statement confused me, didn't Carlisle just say that she had bite marks, that she had been beaten and crushed, what else other than a bloodsucking leech could do that?

Sam barely whispered, "It was us, our kind that hurt her too, wasn't it?"

What was I hearing, had being in the Cullen's made Sam loose his mind? What was he asking? I jumped up, the need to move overpowering.

"Calm down Embry, we all shoulder some of the blame for what's upstairs."

I spun to face Edward, barely able to keep from snarling at him, "Do you mind explaining that?"

Edward looked to Sam and nodded, Sam spoke, "I saw her, those angry red welts, her reaction to me, she was attacked by a werewolf"

I couldn't hear this, I wouldn't. We were not evil, the bloodsuckers were, we could never have done something like that. I began to shake, my senses being overwhelmed. I could hear Sam telling Quil to take me outside. Quil pushed me out the door, I was barely outside before I phased. "That bloodsucking leech, WE are the civilized one, we don't hurt people, we protect them"

I could hear Seth trying to reach me, to find out what had happened when I was inside, I knew there was no keeping Sam's words to myself, that it was only a matter of time before the entire pack knew what was going on.

"That thing, she's human, or vampire half, Sam thinks one of us attacked her, she's broken, . . ." I let Seth hear it all, when Leah tried to cut in, I cut her off, "I can't right now, I just need to be by myself, to work some off this rage off, I'm sure Jake, Sam, and Quil will be along shortly to fill you in on all the details" I took off running, I could tell Quil was phasing, but he didn't attempt to talk to me, instead trying to explain to the others what had happened. By the time I reached La Push I could sense that Sam and Jake had phased back into the pack, not wanting to hear anymore, or get chewed out by Sam I phased back to human.

I walked along the water, trying to piece it all together. This girl, she was human? She had been attacked by leeches and one of us. I couldn't make it make sense, I knew our pack, and I knew none of us had done anything to her. Why would Sam have said that? I knew, I knew that he was wrong, we protected people, and we didn't hurt them, or did we?


	6. Chapter 6

I felt like I was surfacing, like I had been swimming and was finally swimming towards the top. I could see light creeping in around me, hear low voices, and feel how cold I was. It felt oddly pleasant, waking up, even knowing what faced me. I felt cold hands on me, moving me to a sitting position, being gentle, using a pillow to support my head.

"She's confused, she's waiting for something," That voice again, I knew that I had heard it before, I just couldn't remember when. "Carlisle let her see you; she's starting to panic, and fighting to stay in control"

I was suddenly looking into the face of my blonde savior. I couldn't help but think I wished he had just let me die. Why save me just to destroy me again.

"She thinks we're going to hurt her'

"Shh, it's okay, we just want to help you, to understand what happened to you." My fair-haired savior spoke. "We won't harm you"

I opened my mouth to speak; my voice was a squeak, my tongue so dry it scraped against my lips making them crack.

"Edward, please bring me a glass of water."

I tried to wrap my hands around the glass, to bring it to my lips, but was unable.

"Here, let me help you," He brought the glass to my lips; I greedily gulped, almost gagging myself in the process.

"W-w-who are you?" My voice was barely a whisper, "Where am I?"

"I'm Carlisle, this is my son Edward," he gestured toward to man standing at the foot of my bed, "you're in our home, friends of ours found you and brought you here"

"Carlisle, she's starting to panic"

I felt a cold hand on my arm, Carlisle, "It's ok, we don't have to do this now, and we have plenty of time once you're feeling up to it."

I looked at him, into his eyes; I didn't think he was lying. All I wanted in that moment was sleep, I wrapped my arms around my middle and tried not to shiver.

I felt someone drape a blanket around me as I drifted off.

I woke to the sunlight pouring in through the window; I turned to face it, feeling the warmth hitting my skin. I tried to sit up, to swallow the feeling of cottony sandpaper in my throat. My eyes landed on a cup next to a pitcher on the table next to the bed. My hands shaking I reached out for the cup, I was able to lift it to my lips, but after I felt exhausted. I couldn't believe that picking up a glass would drain me like that.

I looked to the door; I knew he would be standing there, waiting for me. "Carlisle" I whispered the name.

"Good morning, you've been out for while, glad to see that you could wake up"

My thoughts were so jumbled, so disjointed. I let my head fall back into the pillow behind it, trying to gather my thoughts.

My voice was hoarse, "Who am I?"

I saw a flicker of confusion cross his face, he took a step towards me, "You don't know?"

I could feel the panic starting to rise up, an overwhelming urge to run building. He must have seen the panic, the room suddenly felt calm, I felt relaxed. I looked to see if he had dome something to the IV running into my arm, but it hadn't been touched.

"Why don't you tell me what you remember, what brought you here."

I took a deep breath, trying to organize my thoughts, trying to tie together all the pieces that were fading in and out of focus in my mind. I glanced around, a sea faces peering at me. Carlisle saw the question, he quietly introduced everyone.

"I think I wanted to die, I was running away." "Escaping" "I was cold, then suddenly I was warm, something soft surrounded me, then I was swirling around in darkness." "I think I came to a time or two" I looked around, making eye contact with Alice, I asked, "I had a bath?" She nodded her head at me. "You," I pointed at Edward, "you were in my head, or my thoughts" I was still confused, "you told Carlisle what I was thinking, what I needed." I looked over to Emmett and Rosalie, "were you watching me sleep, I think I saw you at the window," they both nodded.

I swallowed; I reached for the glass again, needing to sooth my dry mouth. As I gulped the water I shivered.

Bella stood, reaching into a closet for a blanket; she spread it out over me. I could only smile up in gratitude.

Esme broke the silence, "Do you think you might feel up to getting out of bed, I think someone would be able to help get you moved downstairs, you could eat something that didn't come from an IV bag, and we can fill you in on everything that's happened since you arrived."

I nodded, thankful that I was completely covered in blankets when Emmett reached for me and laid me on the couch downstairs. I was even more grateful when Jasper started a fire in the fireplace.

Once I was brought downstairs it was like feeling life pour back into my body. I sat up; trying to swallow my fears I tried to talk to everyone. Alice swept over to me, plopping down on the couch next to me with a flourish, I was startled at first, flinching as an image of her biting me flashed in my mind.

Edward who had been watching me intently, whispered something too low for me to hear, and when I looked up Alice had moved to a chair. I looked down, biting my lip, so far everyone had been so nice, so caring, I hadn't meant to offend.


	7. Chapter 7

"Wakey, wakey it's Quil and Jakey!" I groaned out loud as Jake and Quil walked into my room.

"What do you two want, I'm exhausted." I was still running double shifts from my 'performance' at the Cullen place a few weeks ago.

"We know, but thought you might like to know that we decided to suspend your punishment, the girl finally woke up"

"So what's her story anyway?"

"Dunno yet, Carlisle asked Sam and I to come over tonight, hopefully we'll know the answers then. While we're there you get to run security patrol" Jake grinned the last part, he knew as well as anyone that I was curious about the girl.

After leaving the Cullen the last time Jake had found me on the beach, explaining that I was an idiot. Sam didn't mean that one of 'us" werewolves had hurt the girl, but a non-shape shifter werewolf had. That's what was meant when it was said that we all shared in the responsibility. Not because we had done anything, but because we had a responsibility to the girl to help her heal.

"If you two are done yapping I think I'm going to see if Claire would like to spend some time at the beach today. The weather's getting warmer and I got her a new sand bucket."

Every since Quil imprinted on Claire a few years ago he had turned into a creampuff, when he wasn't running patrol and she wasn't in school he was trying to spend every minute with her. I understood his devotion, I could read his, and everyone else's imprints, but I couldn't imagine it happening to me. In most ways I was glad I had imprinted, I liked my freedom, the ability to choose what I wanted to do without giving any thought to anyone else. Well, except the pack; pack first, self second. I was okay with that; my pack was my family, my brothers, and a sister. Leah would never forgive me if I counted her as a brother.

Jake and I watched Quil run off to get Claire, Jake turned to me and smiled, "hey, I have an idea, follow me"

We got to the beach before Quil and Claire, jumping into the waves, lying down, and waiting for them to get there. Quil sat with his back to the water, watching Claire play in the sand, laughing as she tried unsuccessfully to talk her way into playing with the water. Just when she was about to deploy her Quil pouty-face Jake and I burst out of the water, taking Quil be surprise and throwing him into the waves.

We laughed like idiots as he floundered in the water, then just laughed when Claire jumped and clapped, asking if we could do that to him again.

Jake laughed, saying that he was going to see Nessie before tonight's meeting, "Don't forget, dinner at Sam and Emily's, then we're heading over"

Not wanted to play babysitter with Quil I told him I'd see him later, deciding that I needed some time to think about tonight, to prepare myself for a night with those leeches. Without realizing it I ended up at Sam and Emily's. I knew Sam wouldn't be home, besides being the Co-Alpha he had his tribal council responsibilities. I stuck my head in the back door, before I could announce my arrival I heard Emily yell out from somewhere in the back of the house, "Don't eat the bread, that's for tonight!" I grinned, putting the loaf back on the counter and reaching to the cookie jar instead.

I knew Sam had told her about the girl, Emily wasn't a wolf like the rest of us, but Sam didn't keep anything from her, and we all thought of her as our 'den mother' anyway, just don't let her hear you say thought out loud, she hates being called that.

Emily came into the kitchen, pulling out a chair at the table. "Relieved to be off double duty?"

"Yeah" I sheepishly looked over at her, "I just misunderstood, let my anger get in the way of my common sense"

"Better be careful that you don't have an encore performance tonight. Sam says she's just a frightened girl, that it was bad, she had been really abused."

I looked down; remember how she looked though Sam and Jakes eyes, just lying there on the bed. The way she had looked when I found her, when I thought she was dead. I looked at Emily, "I am sorry, I just didn't think, all I heard was Sam say we were responsible, just thinking that he would tell the Cullens that we had done something like that . . ." I trailed off

"Embry, that temper is going to be your downfall yet, I'd almost suggest anger management" Emily laughed, "come on, give me a hand with dinner, I'm not sure how many of your brothers will be showing up, somehow they all find a reason to see Sam at mealtime"


	8. Chapter 8

"Sooo" Alice rocked back on her heels while sitting on the chair, "do you remember how you got here?"

I was looking at Alice's face, I was trying to see the evil I knew was there. I couldn't find it, all I could see was her smile, and kindness in her topaz eyes. I sucked in my breath, quickly looking at all of them; their eyes were all the same.

"Go ahead, ask the question" I could hear Edward prompting me, seeing the question I had before I could form it with words.

"Your eyes, how, I mean, what," My words sputtered, they were vampires after all, how could there be kindness in their eyes?

Alice laughed, the sound light and musical almost, "We're vegetarians, we only feed on animals, not people."

I looked down, my voice coming out in a whisper. "Then why did you save me if not to use me for feed?"

I heard a gasp and Esme glide over to Carlisle. "Don't think that, you're safe here"

I was sorry I had spoken. I hadn't meant to offend. I just didn't know what they were doing with me, what their intentions were.

I saw Edward move suddenly to the door, stepping outside and I saw. Fear gripped my heart, I knew now why they had kept me alive. There was a wolf at the door to claim me.

I couldn't help myself; I screamed, jumped off the couch, darted around Emmett and slid out the door before anyone was able to react. I didn't care that they would catch me, I knew I couldn't outrun them, but I was the most pain free and healed that my body could remember, I just hoped that was enough.


	9. Chapter 9

I heard the howl, first from Jacob, followed by Sam. They were calling the entire pack together. I phased as soon as I was in the trees_, "What's going on, what happened?"_

"_Everyone just come to the clearing, it'll be easier to explain when everyone's together, and don't be alarmed, the Cullens are here too"_

"_Cullens, why are they there"_

"_Ran away,"_

"_She was scared of me"_

"_What did Jacob do?"_

There were times when being a part of the pack and having a shared mind was beneficial, other times it was a confusing mess of everyone's thoughts at once, none of them making any kind of sense.

When I got to the clearing, most of the pack was already there, we were only missing Quil and Seth. I also noticed that ALL the Cullens were there. I looked around, I wondered what had happened. The last time we were all together is had been to fight the Volturi. I saw Carlisle talking with Sam and Jacob, both of them having phased to human.

Carlisle took a step forward, speaking for the Cullens, "It appears as though we both under, and over estimated our guest, she had been feeling better, she decided to come downstairs, while she was in the main part of the house she," he looked over at Jacob, "was suddenly spooked and took off on foot." He looked at us, "We started after her, but she was able to loose us, disguise her scent." He held up a pillowcase, "this is what she's been sleeping on, I'm hoping we can pick up her scent, find her, and bring her home."

He looked to Sam before going on, "It appears as though she has a severe fear of Werewolves. She also is able to tell what they are, even when they're in human form. If one of you find her, please just keep her in your sights, let one of us bring her back." His eyes went to all of us gathered there. "I won't go into everything she'd been through, but I have informed Sam and Jacob and I'm sure they'll let you know."

"Seth and Edward will be staying at the house, to help facilitate communications, and to keep an eye on Renesmee. We don't know yet what this girl is capable of or what she is running from, everyone please be careful" With that Carlisle took a step back, Sam was the next to address us;

"Just remember she is frightened, she's a human so she couldn't have gotten far, and if you find her let the Vamps take care of her. . .even in our human forms she knows what we are and is scared"

One by one we walked by Carlisle, sniffing at the pillowcase to pick up her scent, it was different than I remembered, rather than smelling of death and rot it was, it was soft, feminine, with an almost woodsy smell. There was an absolute background of Vampire to it as well, but what cold you expect, she was living with them, but once you got passed that it wasn't an unpleasant smell.

"_We're going to follow Jasper and Emmett back to where they lost her scent, she's only been missing for about an hour, she shouldn't be too hard to track."_

"_Wonder what happened to her, that she's so scared"_

"_I'd run if I saw Jacob coming too,"_ This was thought by Jared, making us all smile.

"_Sorry I'm late, had to leave Claire with Emily."_

All of our thoughts were quieted_, "this is where Emmett, Jasper, and Jake lost her"_ Sam's thoughts, rolling through our minds_, "She went into the river here, but there were so many false trails on the other side, criss-crossing, and doubling back that it'll just be easier, more time consuming for everyone to pick a trail, eventually we'll find her"_ Sam pawed the ground, lifting his nose in the air and letting loose with a small whine, _"There's a storm coming, she needs to be found before it comes"_ We knew, he didn't need to tell us, not only would the rain wash away her scent, but based on what I was seeing in Jacobs mind I knew she had ran out wearing only a thin white nightgown.

"_She doesn't remember her name"_

"_Is that like amnesia?"_

"_Maybe she hit her head?"_

"_According to Edward she's afraid of them too, just not as much as us" _I know that was a painful thought for Jacob, he was so used to everyone liking him, liking us. I knew he wasn't the type to want to scare anyone, whether or not it was his fault.

"_I think I've got something,"_ Leah lifted her head, she had gone upriver, to where it sprang forth from the side of the hills and the ground was littered with rocks. _"I think she tried jumping from rock to rock, and eww, rubbing the decaying forest bottom over her tracks"_

"_How did she learn to cover her tracks so well?"_

"_Where is she going?"_

Something didn't feel right to me, I didn't think the girl had headed in that direction, eventually she would be forced to climb, I knew she had to be cold, barefoot, and lost. No, it didn't make sense to me that she would have gone that way. I continued to search the scent path I was on, following it to a tree. I lifted my head, smart girl, climbing a tree. I looked up, I knew she wouldn't still be up there, but I was betting that she had jumped out to break the scent trail. Yep, under one of the longer limbs, the furthest out from the trunk, I picked up her scent again, it was stronger here, suddenly I realized why, there was a faint few drops of blood, she was hurt.

"_She's hurt."_ I knew Seth would pass the word to Edward and he could call one of his siblings.

Alice appeared next to me almost instantly, I knew she could smell the blood. She took off, running west, I was right behind her.

There it was again, I stopped, I knew that scent. I took a step back, cautiously moving my head back and forth, realizing that I was back in La Push. Something wasn't right; I could almost feel the crackling of the air, my fur rising on my shoulders. Alice stopped, looked at me; I could see the worry on her face. There it was again, woodsy, soft, but there was something else in the mix now, I could tell Alice smelled it too. In an instant Alice and I both knew where she had gone, both of us running full tilt, hoping to reach her before it was too late


	10. Chapter 10

Panic gripped my heart. Had I misunderstood? Had I misread their kindness? I could see him. He was walking towards me; Edward was opening the door for him.

I wasn't safe there, I wasn't safe anywhere.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs before making a break for it. I was surprised that I made it passed the big one, knowing that the advantage I had from surprise would only last a few seconds I put my head down, trying to put as much distance between them and me that I could. Turning my head, straining to hear the commotion behind me I lost my footing, falling into a creek. I gasped as the cold water rocked my body, turning I ran in and out of the water, trying to lay as may trails as I could. The longer I could keep them busy, the longer I had to get away, the longer I had to stay free.

I thought about climbing when I reached the mouth, but as I scrambled along the rocks, my wet gown and bare feet slowing me down I knew it would only be a matter of minutes before they could track me. Relying on pure instinct I rubbed every surface with the rotting putrid under layer of the woods, smearing the mixture over my body and rubbing it into my hair as well. I tried to stay as deep in the water as I could, I didn't know how I knew, but I knew they would have a hard time finding my scent in the water. When my body couldn't take anymore coldness, and I was afraid I would lead them to me with the sound of my teeth chattering I leapt from the water, clinging to a tree, I looked down, there was a slight clear grassy spot under an outstretched limb, I had to take it, I had to jump. I landed with a thud, I knew without looking that I broken the skin on my shoulder, I shook my head, hoping that it wouldn't bleed much, once the scent of my blood hit their noses I knew they would find me even faster.

I had no idea where I was heading, just away. Running as fast as my feet would carry me, not even trying to hide my scent any longer. I could see it getting lighter up ahead, I put my head down, I knew I would be safe in the daylight. Charging forward at full speed I burst from the woods, luck was with me, the area was deserted. I could see and smell the beach; I carefully picked my way to the edge of the cliff, trying to hide myself behind the rocks. Looking down I could see the water swirling around me. I had reached the end, now all I could do was wait. I allowed myself to hold a nugget of hope; maybe they wouldn't be able to find me.

I collapsed, too exhausted to continue. I crawled behind a rock that jutted out of the ground, I knew I was only delaying the inevitable, I would be found, but until then I wanted to feel the sensation of freedom spreading through me. Taking in giant lungful's of clean, fresh air. I looked out over the water, I could see the dark storm clouds gathering, I shivered, pulling my legs up to my chest, trying to stay warm. I knew that once the sun was gone I was done. Daylight was my savior; as long as I was in the light I would be safe.

I could feel the temperature dropping, I couldn't stop shivering. I wasn't completely sure I was shivering from the cold; I didn't know why I was so scared, only that I was. Every part of me ached. I tried to remember, what had happened before I woke up in the Cullens house, who was I running from? The more I tried to think, to find the answer the further away the answers seemed.

I saw it out of the corner of my eye, the small movement of someone watching me. My heart jumped to my throat. This is it I thought to myself, dread overcoming me. I stood, steeling myself to face my captures, "It's ok, I just want to help," That voice, that light angelic voice of the fairy-like vamp, for a second I almost allowed myself to trust her. Looking behind her I could see the glint of another pair of eyes watching me, I could taste the fear welling up inside me, without thinking I turned and jumped.


	11. Chapter 11

"We found her, she crossed into La Push"

"I have Alice with me, we're just going to follow, watch her, see where's she's going"

"Remember, let the vamp make contact, don't do anything to scare her again"

"Everyone else, let's meet back up at the Cullens, once they get the girl settled we can discuss what's going on" I could almost hear the weariness in Sam's thoughts.

"for a human she's pretty good at hiding" that was unusual, hearing Leah think anything positive about anyone, but she was right, who ever this girl was she was good at hiding herself, evading not just the bloodsuckers, but us too.

I sat back on my haunches, staying in the shadows of the forest, watching the girl. Alice stood next to me, watching her also. Alice turned to me, "What do you think she's doing, where is she going?" I could only look at her, I knew Alice didn't really expect an answer from me, just thinking out loud. We watched as the girl, with one final look over her shoulders, slumped to the ground, leaning against a rock, hugging her knees. When I saw her body start to shudder I realized at the same time as Alice that the girl was sobbing.

That was all it took for Alice to make her way silently to where the girl sat. I watched as Alice spoke, I crept forward, straining to hear what she was saying when the girl looked passed Alice, I saw the terror contort her face before she turned and plunged into the water.

In that instant time stopped. I recognized what was happening, having experienced it through the thoughts of my pack brother, but still, when it happened to you if was different, a sense of falling, all your ties to the world being severed at once, then finding a lifeline tying you to one other. In that moment I knew that my life thread had knit to hers.

I couldn't stop, I couldn't think. I saw her falling; I plunged into the water after her, needing to find her, to save her. Already her loss filled me with the coldest dread.

"Embry, Embry, take it easy; think about what you're doing"

"Oh man, he imprinted on a crazy"

"She jumped, is she insane?"

"Embry, Stop!" The last thought was from Sam, but I couldn't, I had to find her. Alice had jumped in the water after the girl jumped; we were both frantically searching for her. I saw Alice dive down, somewhere in the back of my mind was the thought that Vampire were supposed to be good swimmers. I saw Alice surface, the girl in her arms, looking paler than her gown. I wanted to take the girl from Alice, to ensure she was breathing, that she was alive, to hold her in my arms. "Embry, no!" I could hear the Alpha Sam in my head now, reading my thoughts, "you'll only make it worse. Alice can handle it, let her take her home."

I reached the shore at the same time as Alice; she had the girl in her arms, carrying her like a baby. I couldn't help myself, I phased human in front of Alice, not caring that I was standing naked in front of her; I had to speak to Alice, to make certain that the girl was alright.

"How is she, please tell me she's breathing" I was frantic, I could hear the worry in my voice.

"She's breathing, but freezing, even I can feel how cold she is" Alice looked at me; I could see the worry on her face as well.

Alice got to the house before I did, she was faster than me, even after I had phased back. I ran after Alice, running at full speed, too caught up in my own thoughts to hear the pack, I was vaguely aware of them, trying to break though into my thoughts, but I was so focused on getting back to the girl. It took Sam and Jared both to stop me when I reached the Cullens. I could feel the eyes of the pack on me, 'Maybe he's finally just lost his mind" Seth's thought wormed its way in, I was surprised to hear it garner a chuckle from Edward who I hadn't realized was standing there as well. I took a step back, blinking, realizing that Emmett and Jasper were with him too.

I looked up, realizing that the reason I was no longer being bombarded with the pack thoughts was I was the only one, save for Seth, Noah, and Leah who was still phased. I stepped back, already one Cullen had seen me naked today, and I didn't anymore of them too. I slipped my shorts on, walking into the Cullens expansive backyard.

"Where is she, is she ok?" I had meant for the words to come out with force, but instead they were a whisper, my voice faltering and cracking with the pain of knowing she might not be.

I saw Edward look to Jasper, a look passed between them, and then I felt calm. I knew the leech was doing something to manipulate my emotions, but I was so lost in my emotional swirl I didn't care.

Jake reached out, putting his hand on my arm, "She's with Carlisle," he looked down, "Alice said she was breathing when she got here."

My body sagged with relief, I wanted to run to her, to see with my own eyes that this was the truth, I felt Jacobs hand tighten on my arm, "You can't go in there"

I looked into his eyes; I knew he was right; I would only make her worse.

Alice came dancing out of the house then, her clothes already changed and her hair dried. "Come inside, Carlisle wants to fill everyone in at once"

I raced to the door, almost knocking into Rosalie who was standing at the door behind Alice. She looked down at me, "mutt, watch where you're going"

Rosalie's words didn't even register with me; I stood in front of Carlisle, desperate to know how she was doing. Carlisle looked into my face with compassion, flicking his eyes to Edwards who only nodded. I heard Carlisle swallow a small chuckle, looking at me again, he spoke.

"Physically she's fine, no worse for wear. A few minor injuries, but what I'm most concerned about is her emotional health. Something happened to her, I don't even know if she knows what exactly, but something that has made her terrified of all of us."

I exhaled; I hadn't realized that I was holding my breath. "She's ok then, I mean, she's breathing, she's alive?" I could hear the pathetic need in my voice, I knew everyone else could hear it too, but I was beyond caring, I had to know that she was really safe.

"Yes, I have her sedated again, call it a medically induced coma, I'm hoping that in time her mind with heal itself, or at least lessen it's grip on her so she can begin to deal with whatever it was that brought her to us."

I couldn't help myself, a low growl in my throat at his use of the word, "us", she wasn't theirs, she was mine. I felt a solid cold hand on my shoulder, Emmett grinning down at me, "Easy there, killer" he grinned easily, "Us, ALL of us" I looked down, the anger seeping out of me, knowing that once I was back in La Push I would be hearing from Sam yet again about controlling my temper. A sudden realization hit, if she was sedated, wasn't that the same as being asleep?

My head jerked up with such speed I think I startled a few in the room, I took a deep breathe, trying to steady my thoughts and organize them, relief and hope flooding through me. I faced Carlisle, but I could feel Sam coming to stand next to me, not sure how to read the mix of emotions washing over my face. I sucked in more air, "She's unconscience, right?" "That's like sleeping"

I could tell they were confused; I had to organize my thoughts, find the right words in the jumble of my mind, hope pushing aside all rash thought. I suddenly looked to Edward, I knew he knew what I was trying to say, what I couldn't get the words out in any sense to ask.

"He's asking if he can see her, if since she's under and won't know he's there if he can just look at her"

For the first time in my life I was thankful for a Cullen. I saw a smile break though on Carlisle's face, only flicking my eyes to Sam long enough to see the start of a nod before I charged up the stairs.

Esme met me outside her door, her face paler than usual, a look on her face I couldn't place, she raised her hand, palm up and outward to stop me, "Calm down, she might not see you, but she might be able to sense you being there, go slow so you don't frighten her." With that Esme opened the door, I gasped at what I saw


	12. Chapter 12

I tried not to surface, to fight the need to breath. The icy blast of water shocking me and dulling my senses. I wanted to stay there, surrounded by the numbing cold, my mind slowly shutting down, feeling less and less of myself, floating towards the freedom that was a swirling darkness.

My final thought before completely surrendering was of those eyes, I knew they were hungry, looking at me, but it was also like they could pierce me soul. I finally surrendered, falling into the dark, no longer aware of the cold.

I felt like I was floating, but flying at the same time.

I heard the same murmurs from before, concern in the tone, but unable to make sense of what I was hearing.

I felt my wet gown slide off my body, gently icy fingers wrapping me in something soft and warm, flashes of pain, their pain racking my body. I couldn't help it, I had to wrap my arms around my midsection in a protective pose, there was such a feeling of emptiness, of pain and longing. It was pain, but it was tempered, like a scar and not a fresh wound.

I could feel the tears sliding down my cheeks, the only thing that was warm. A hushed whisper, then nothing. Alone in the darkness. Even if I couldn't feel, couldn't know I had some awareness. A cold, hollow emptiness started to surround me, and then it was gone. I was suddenly warm, warm on the inside, my mind calming, tears still running down my face.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER Thirteen

I gasped at what I saw; she looked so small, so helpless. Seeing her on the cliff she had looked, well she was beautiful in my eyes, but seeing her like that, curled into a ball, eyes closed, tears streaming down her face, it took everything I had not to run to her, I would have gladly traded my life for hers, to have taken her pain away if I could have. I walked closer; someone had wrapped her completely in blankets, even with the heat blasting in the room she was still shivering. Her skin, already bruised and translucent, looked even frailer up close. Her eyes darting around under her eyelids, not even being able to find peace in sleep.

I wanted to wrap her in my arms, to comfort her, pull her on my lap and rock her. I stumbled back, blanching at the sight of her. There wasn't a part of her that wasn't screaming that she was in pain. Esme stood behind me, pulling a chair from against the wall next to the bed. "You look like you might fall over"

I slumped down, I wanted to reach out, to touch her, but I was afraid it would only cause her more pain. Esme in her maternal wisdom took my hands in her icy ones and laid them on the blanket, next to the girl.

I don't know how long I stayed in the room, my tears matching hers, until I had none left. Carlisle came in and out of the room, checking her, making notes, changing IV's, and looking at her and me both with a mixture of pity and compassion.

I was only vaguely aware of Jacob and Nessie coming into the room, a plate in Nessie's hands. Jacob laying a hand on my shoulder to break my reverie. "I think it'd be ok if you ate" This was said with a smile, but I didn't want to take my eyes off her long enough to take the plate. Nessie placed it on the table next to the bed.

"Everyone's worried about you, about her, but you need to take a break, go home, take a shower, eat, sleep, something"

I started to shake his hand off me, how could he expect me to leave her like this, couldn't he see that she was my air?

Nessie spoke, "My mom and aunt want to give her a bath, change her sheets, they can't do that with you sitting there watching her."

"Don't make me give you an order, I just want you to take a few hours, you can't take care of her if you don't take care of yourself."

I knew he was right, I just didn't want to leave her, not when she was still so small and helpless looking.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride back" His hand still on my shoulder, I rose from the chair, slowly turning towards the door. Before taking a step, I couldn't help myself; I bent down, gently brushing my lips across the hair that covered her forehead.

Once in Jacobs's car I realized just how exhausted I was, not just tired, but emotionally and mentally drained too. I could tell Jake wanted to say something when we were in the car, but he waited, probably realizing that I wouldn't be able to answer him, my eyelids were closed before we pulled out of the driveway.

I felt myself being shaken; someone was talking and trying to get me to stand. My eyes popped open, "We're here and you need to go to bed."

My eyes snapped open, the sleep clearing from my eyes I realize we were in the driveway at Quil, Jared, Jake, and I's house. I stumbled out, debating what I was going to take care of first, my mind yelling at me to sleep, my overwhelming need for a shower, but ultimately my stomach won. I could smell the pizza before I left the drive. Quil and Jared were seated on the couch, Quil looked up at me when I entered, "wondered if you were ever going to come home, we thought about putting a for rent sign up for your room."

I slumped down into a chair; reaching forward for a slice, "Just here long enough to eat and shower, I can take a nap on the way back" I rubbed my face with my free hand, trying to wake myself up.

I heard Jake clear his throat behind me. "No, I think you need to stay here, get some decent sleep, in a bed, take a shower, and I'll see if I can't score a plate from Emily." He moved to stand in front of me, his voice lowering, "Embry, we all know what you're feeling, but you can't take care of her if you don't care of yourself."

I saw the other two nodding their heads, "It was weird, I think that was the first time anyone imprinted while we were in wolf form," Jared looked around, "I can't describe it, I know we" he gestured to Jake, Quil, and himself, "didn't imprint on her, but we all felt it the same way you did, it was just weird, experiencing something like that, feeling the imprint, but not having it be yours." He paused, "I almost felt like there was a piece of me that imprinted on a piece of her." He spoke the last part quietly, if not for our heightened hearing I don't think anyone would have heard. I looked to Quil and Jake; I could see in their faces that it was the same for them.

"I wonder what that means, if it's just because we were all linked when you imprinted, or something else" I looked at Quil, what was he getting at?

I couldn't think anymore, I stood, grabbing another couple of slices, ignoring the dirty look I got from Quil when I did so, and made my way to my bedroom. I didn't even bother kicking off my shoes, I just flopped into bed. I could still hear the voices of my brothers in the living, debating the significance of my imprinting while phased, grumbling about my eating the last of the pizza, and then I was asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

My mind was racing, I could see images coming in and out of focus in front of me, flashes not there long enough to see, much less understand. The constant fear was never far off, but now it wasn't quite so intense, I could still feel it, but it was no longer a suffocating weight on top of me, it was more like an animal stalking me, watching me, keeping me in its sights, but never attacking.

There was a part of me, even if I wasn't experiencing what was going on, that was aware of it. I could tell someone was sitting next to me, sometimes I would feel them rest their hands on me, and I would begin to feel warmth at their touch, other times I could tell they were sleeping by their faint snore. I could tell when Carlisle would come in, he was so careful when he touched me, trying not to lay his cold hands directly on my body. I was thankful, not only was I cold, I couldn't take any more pain.

I could tell when the son, Edward, would come in, standing off to the side, opposite of who was sitting next to me. I could almost feel him trying to see my thoughts, I would push him out, pull away from him, but I eventually got tired of fighting. I gave up. If he wanted to know what was going on in my head, I would let him in. I know he didn't like what he found, but maybe he could make better sense of it than I could. I was just too tired to fight anymore. I was ready to surrender. Somehow I wasn't as scared, something in that room was making me feel, well not safe, but not fearful, not as much.

I tried to listen to the voices in the house, I could hear a childlike laugh, but I knew better, vampires didn't have children, did they? If that where I had come from?

I was aware of Alice and another coming in, being put in a tub and feeling the divine sense of peace, the hot water washing over me, the fruited smell of cleanliness, and the soft, loving touch, not of Alice, but the other one.

Somewhere in my mind was the name Jasper; I could hear the whispers, that he could help. I wasn't sure why but I knew I would need him, that he had the answers to some of my questions.

I wanted to sleep, but I wanted to wake. Everyday I tried to fight through the haze, trying to remember more, to stay 'awake' longer, and to remember more.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I was having the greatest dream, waking along First Beach, holding her hand, looking down into her eyes. . . "Dawn. . ."

"Whoa, who's Dawn?"

I startled awake, looking up and seeing Jared standing beside my bed, "what, what are you talking about?" I tried to think, to clear the sleep from my head, sitting up, and suddenly remembering what was going on, where I was, I looked up, "how is she, any changes yet?"

"Don't think so, but the better question is who's 'Dawn' and why are you moaning her name in your sleep" I could hear the teasing in the question, and inwardly I groaned.

I'd have to come clean, I guess it didn't matter, eventually they'd all know anyway. "Dawn, that's what I've been calling the girl," I shrugged my shoulders as I got out of bed, walking towards the kitchen, "It was sunrise when I found her, and she always seems like she's just on the verge of waking up," I couldn't believe I was saying this, "It just seemed to fit her, and I needed to call her something, I can't just call her 'girl' all the time."

I checked the cabinets, smiling when I found a box of cereal that hadn't been emptied yet, I yanked open the fridge, it was too much to ask that we also had milk. I was too hungry to care; I dug in, eating it dry. I sat at the table; Jared sat down next to me, filling me in on everything that had been going on since I had last been to La Push.

"Sam and Jake met with the Elders, everyone is kinda on edge about the girl, everyone is pretty sure she's part vamp. It worries people, no one really knows what to think, we're all just waiting for her to wake, or for Carlisle to tell us something."

I couldn't believe what I was able to share, maybe Imprinting had changed me, maybe it was just the sleep deprivation, I don't know what it was, but I knew everyone would eventually hear it from me anyway. "What if she doesn't heal? What if she doesn't get better?" I could almost feel my voice cracking, I couldn't believe that I had said that, but it was my greatest fear, what if Dawn was too broken to fix?

Jared just looked at me, "no, she'll heal, Carlisle is taking good care of her, besides, if she's survived everything else she'll get through this too."

We both looked up at the same time, there was no mistaking the sound of Jacob's Rabbit, we were still surprised that that car ran. If Jacob wasn't as good of a mechanic it would have died long ago. We heard two doors shut, then the front door open. "He awake yet?"

"Yeah, we're in the kitchen"

Jake walked in with Nessie, sometimes I had to do a double take when I looked at her, it was hard to remember at times that she was only five years old, even if she did look like a teen. It was nice seeing them together, I knew how much he cared about her, and looking at her face when she looked at him, her love was evident too.

"Hey, there's some good news to about the girl, she's waking up, when I went to pick up Nessie she was awake, talking with Carlisle, Edward, and Jasper."

I jumped up, ready to sprint out the door. "Wait, wait, you can't go there."

I looked at Jake, was he being serious? Of course I was going there.

"Esme invited us over later, after they've had a chance to talk to her, figure out what's going on, we're going to wait till then, we don't want a repeat of our last visit."

My breath caught, no, I didn't want a repeat of our last visit, it was almost too painful to think about, watching her jump off that cliff.

The room was suddenly quiet, I heard Jared clear his throat, and he started to laugh, "Embry named her!" I rolled my eyes; I knew no secret was safe. I reached over, playfully, but with some force behind it, punching him in the shoulder. "Dawwwwn" he stretched out her name. I looked down, but my head popped up when I heard Nessie open her mouth.

"That's beautiful, I wondered how long it would take for you to tell us." I scrunched my face, wondering what she meant. "My dad told us two days ago that you were calling her that" she answered the question on my face.

My face reddened, but I really couldn't bring myself to care that Edward was in my head, or that he had shared my thoughts about her, if he saw that then he saw how much I cared, and how worried I was. He also knew that I loved her. That I would do anything to protect her.

I suddenly realized I didn't know what time it was, or even what day. Jake laughed when I asked. "It's almost 5 o'clock, and it's Thursday. You came home Tuesday night. We were starting to get a little worried; if you hadn't woke by now we were going to wake you for the meeting."

"Crap, what about my patrol shifts, I was with Dawn, and I wasn't thinking about anything else, man, I'm so sorry, is Sam mad?" That's all I needed, to be in the dog (wolf) house with Sam again.

"Nah, we all understand, we all just split them up, no one was upset" he raised his eyebrows, "well maybe Leah, but you know her, I don't think there's anything that doesn't upset her." We all laughed.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The room was slowly starting to come into focus; I could see a couple of faces. I recognized Carlisle's right away, then Edwards. There was another face coming into focus, I didn't recognize him, but I knew he was a vampire too. When he finally came into focus I gasped and cringed, I could see bite scars glittering all over his arms. I reached over and subconsciencelessly pulled my sleeves down, trying to make sure all my scars were covered.

I was thankful that I was dressed in pants, long sleeves, and slippers, not just because I was so cold, but so they couldn't see me. I pulled myself up; propping pillows behind me to I could sit up and see everyone. I glanced down, folding my sweaty hands in my lap, looking up only when Carlisle began to speak.

"Dawn, we're so glad you could wake up." I raised my eyebrows, cocking my head, was that my name?

Edward spoke, answering the silent question in my head, "We don't know your name, but Dawn seemed to fit. If you don't like it we can change it, or if you remember your real name tell us that one."

I shook my head, I couldn't remember my name, but I flinched, I could remember more, more of where I had come from, of how I got here.

Edward spoke softly, looking at me, 'go ahead, tell us what you remember"

I picked up a glass of water, to steady myself, my thoughts still disjointed, I was stalling, trying to organize what I was going to say. I felt Jasper take a step closer, suddenly the room felt calmer, more relaxed. I looked up, looking them all in the eye before starting.

"Dawn is a pretty name, I like it, I don't remember the one I used to have, and I don't know if I had one to be honest." My body sagged, more memories began to fill my mind, it was like once I started talking the floodgates were opened.

"I think I used to live really far from here, I was cold all the time," I looked down towards my left ankle, even with it hidden under a mountain of blankets, I could still see it in my minds eye, "I was chained, scared. They would come down, I would feel them lay their hands on me and my body would feel like it was on fire, I would scream, cry, struggle, until it was no use. The pain would get so bad, I felt like I would die, it would just never stop." I looked up, wiping the tears from my eyes, I took a ragged breath before continuing, "I think I must have passed out, eventually the pain would stop, and I would wake up on the floor. Sometimes the pain wouldn't be too bad, other times I wanted to die." I stopped talking, a new memory breaking through.

I closed my eyes, laying my head back on the pillows, "I think I was born, I was a regular kid. I got lost, I was in town, I couldn't find my mom. . .I wake up and I was somewhere I didn't recognize" I could feel the fear gripping my stomach, I felt like I was going to be sick. I could feel my breathing increase, "I, I think he was going to bite me, but when he touched my hand he pulled back," The memory consumed me, I could feel my hands getting colder, sweatier, my body temperature rising, I got out of the bed, pacing as the memory grew, my anger getting closer and closer to the surface, "He was one of you," I spat the last word," he was a vampire."

I had come to a stop in front of Carlisle, my anger threatening to boil over, I didn't stop to think, I reached back and slapped him. "You, your kind did this to me! I finally get away, why did you save me?" I felt the cold harness of his face, felt the stinging in my hand, Carlisle looked down at my hand, I shook it, to stop the stinging, I saw something flash in his eyes.

Carlisle put his hand up, to stop Jasper and Edward from moving. I slumped to the floor, emotionally spent, the adrenaline that propelled me to my feet gone. He knelt in front of me, "I am so sorry, we're not like that, we won't hurt you, you are safe here." I just shook my head at him I knew that wasn't true.

"No, I'm not, I saw them," terror gripped me again, my voice in a whisper, "they're coming here for me, I know they are."

Carlisle shook his head, "no one is coming for you" Edward made a motion toward Carlisle,

"I don't think she's talking about us, she's afraid of werewolves," he shook his head, his hair scattering as he did, "she was captured more than once, tortured by more than our kind"

The realization of his words taking hold in Carlisle and Jasper, I sank lower to the floor, Instinctively I cowered, hugging my knees up to my chin, crying in fear, my voice wavering, "I saw them, I know you're going to give me back to them, I wish you would have just let me die instead." I put my head down on my knees, my hair forming a curtain between them and me.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs; I tightened my body, ready for whatever was coming. "Honey, honey, its ok, let's get you downstairs." It was the voice of an angel, I brushed my hair back, her beauty matched the angels voice, there was something so peaceful, so calming about her.

"Esme, I don't know if she's ready for that." I recognized Carlisle's voice

"Shh, it's okay," I could feel her coming closer to me, then her turning her head towards the others in the room, 'it'll be fine, she's not ready for this, she's in pain." As she spoke I could hear something in her voice, not pain, but something else, something warm and inviting. I knew she was an ice-cold bloodsucker, but something about her made me feel safe; there was a warmth about her.

I stood up, my body wavering slightly, no longer filled with rage, my body had to adjust to being upright after being in bed for so long. I started to stumble, Esme reached out to steady me, I saw Carlisle intercept her touch, the flash of his hand so close to me made me flinch, pull away, I felt my body shaking.

A look of pain, the realization of my fear crossing Carlisle's face. I saw Edward and Jasper exchange another look, the room growing calm again. I looked past the door, seeing a bathroom across the hall. I made my way over, locking the door behind me. I had to put both hand on the edge of the sink to steady myself. I take a cloth out of the basket on the sink, running cold water on it, running it over my face, my neck, trying to steady my nerves. Trying to make sense of what's going on. I take a couple of deep breaths; I put my hand on the knob, taking one last deep breath before opening the door. I look in the room I've been staying is, it's empty now.

I think about trying to make a run for it, but I know I won't make it far before I am found again, and the vampires here seem nice, even if I'm still a little scared. As I make up my mind, I hear voices coming from the bottom of the staircase, a quiet laughter followed by a larger, deeper laugh. I turn, steel myself, and start down the staircase.

I hear it again on my way down, a deep infectious laugh coming from a giant bear of a man sitting with his back to me on a couch. I stop before reaching the bottom, realizing that I feel multiple pairs of eyes on me. I turn, looking at everyone. I recognize about half of them, but I'm strangely unafraid of the ones I haven't met yet. I look at Jasper, I don't know what he does, but I know he somehow makes me feel better.

"Alright, alright no need to stare let her have some room to breath." I look seeing that the pixie looking vamp who spoke, I recognize her voice, I cock my head to the side, saying the first thing that popped into my head, "you, you're the one I scared in the tub." My face blazes red as soon as the words are out my mouth, the bear-vamp on the couch roars with laughter.

"Yes, I'm Alice" she glides across the floor to me, 'let me introduce you to everyone" She looks at me, "well you already met Carlisle, Edward, and my Jasper" I look to her then to Jasper, I hadn't put them together, but as soon as she said it I couldn't help but see the love that flowed between them, it also answered one of my questions, of when she yelled in fright why she yelled for him.

"This is our mom Esme," I looked at the woman from upstairs, she was their mom? Maybe that's why she seemed so warm, so kind. I'd have to think about that later, Alice was already going through the rest of the introductions; "This is Bella, Edwards wife, Rosalie, and lastly this is Emmett" she gestured to the giant on the couch. I turned my head to look at everyone Edward answered my unspoken question.

"Yes, there is another who lives here too," I saw Bella stiffen slightly at his side,

"A child?" I was sure I had heard a child's voice when I was upstairs,

He nodded, "Our daughter, Nessie, she'll be home later, she's out with," he paused, "with her friend"

I started to relax, looking at the house around me. It was beautiful, nothing like the stonewalls of my memory. I walked over, running my hands over book spines, taking in the piano, and seeing the flash of colors that Emmett was staring at. I slowly walked over to where he was sitting, he turned to me, "You like basketball?" I shrugged, I had never seen it, I didn't know if I liked it or not.

"Here have a seat," he patted the seat cushion, "you can help me root for the Sonics" I looked at him question on my face. "They're the ones in green" I came around, sitting as far from him as I could. Watching the basketball game and keeping an eye on him. He just jumped and moved around so much. I was sure he wasn't jumping to startle me, but I was flinching anyways.

A couple of minutes of watching me jump Esme came over, asking if I'd like to help her in the kitchen, that she could use a second pair of hands. I gasped, what kind of vampires were these, they were cooking? I heard Edward laugh from across the room; I looked at him, realizing that he was able to read my thoughts. I shrugged, asking him in my head if they were really vampires. He laughed out loud at me, with that laugh it was like the awkwardness of the house had been broken.

"We're having guests, friends for dinner" He saw the look of horror on my face, "No, no, not like that," he quickly rushed on, "Nessie, her friend, and some of his friends are coming to eat dinner here tonight, we're not having them here to have them for dinner."

I saw the laughter on his face, on Carlisle's face, and the look of realization on Esme's.

I hid my face in my hands, embarrassed, 'I'm sorry' I mumbled from behind my hands, "I just thought" I shook my head, "I'm soo sorry"

The ice broken I followed Esme into the kitchen. There was warmth about Esme, something very maternal about her. She put me at such ease. It wasn't long before she had me mixing stuff into bowls, her taking items from the freezer and putting it into the ovens. I suddenly realized how much food she was making, wondering how many people were coming.

I was hesitant to break the easy comfortable silence, "Esme, how many people are coming?" I was still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that they were vampires that had friends, that they were a family. It was obvious that these weren't like any other vampire that I knew.

Esme turned to me, it looked like she was trying to find the right words, "I was thinking, before our friends got here that you and I, maybe Alice, would go for a drive, get out of the house so we weren't in the way."

I looked at her face; I could see that she was hiding something from me. I felt the cold chills of fear again; my eyes darted to the door. She saw. "No, no, it's nothing like that, it's just our dinner guest, well you haven't met them yet, it might be too much for you, especially since this is really the first day that you've been up and felt like moving around. We just don't want to overwhelm you on your first day."

I thought about it, what she was saying made sense, but still I couldn't escape the feeling that she wasn't telling me everything.

Alice and Carlisle walked into the kitchen then, Carlisle looking pointedly at his watch. Alice turned to me, asking if I wanted to change my clothes before we left, her face lighting up, "I bet Bella's clothes would fit, and she's got a HUGE closet full of stuff that I've gotten her and she never wears." She said the last part while looking towards the living room to where Bella was.

Bella joined her in the kitchen, "Maybe we should take her to Edward and Is, see if there's something you would like to wear, Esme why don't you come with us and we can all just leave from there, I'm sure Edward can finish up in the kitchen.

If I hadn't been around vampires most of my life I would have missed the look that was traded amongst them. Everyone was going out of their way to be nice, to be kind to me. I just decided to go with it, allowing myself to follow Alice out the back door and along a beautiful cobblestone path. I looked up, thankful there were still some light out, but shivering as I realized I would have to walk through the dark woods with a group of vampires. Esme reached out to put her hand on my arms, but upon seeing my tense, let it drop to her side instead. I saw a flash of pain cross her face, but it was quickly replaced by a smile as she started to talk about Alice's shopping addiction, saying that she was sure I could find something to wear for tonight.

I gasped when Bella's cottage came into view, it was so beautiful. It looked like something out of a storybook I had a vague memory of hearing when I was a child. Alice was already inside with Bella, I could hear Alice talking to her, "the tags are still on most of these, don't you ever get tired of sweats, jeans, and boring shirts?" I looked at Esme and grinned, they sounded just like sisters. I whispered to Esme, "I'm not sure what I like." I looked down at what I had one. "I like this."

Esme turned to me smiling. "Don't worry I'm sure Alice already has shopping plans for you once Carlisle gives you the ok to leave the house."


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

"I spoke with Carlisle, the girl," Sam turned to look at me, "Dawn, is awake, she's been talking some, Bella and the rest of the female vamps are going to be taking her away from the house for while so we can meet with the Cullens and know what's going on."

She wasn't going to be there? I realized how disappointed I was, I hadn't realized how much I was looking forward to seeing her.

'Embry," I looked up guiltily, I hadn't meant to get lost in thought and not listen to Sam, "I think it's important for you to be there with Jacob and I, but we can't have you flying off the handle, getting angry." Sam looked at me, making eye contact, "You're going to be hearing some things that you're not going to want to hear about her, things that are going to be painful, if you're rather not hear them from the Cullens we'll understand." I was floored; I wondered what Carlisle had already told him to make him feel the need to prepare me like that.

"No, it'll be ok, I'll find out sooner or later anyway, might as well hear it from him." I swallowed, not sure I wanted to hear anything about Dawn, about her past, about what had happened to her.

"Alright then, let's get ready to head over. Jacob will meet us there, he's driving Nessie home."

"Leah, Paul, and Seth; I want you running regular patrols, Jared I want you to stay close to the house"

I was the last to get up from Sam and Emily's table; Emily wrapped me in a hug, "no matter what happens tonight, it'll be ok." I just walked outside; I wished I could be as sure as she was.

I phased at the tree line, cutting through the woods to the Cullens.

"Embry, remember, no one we know did these things to Dawn, be angry, but be angry at the right people." Sam's thoughts cut in, I just didn't always see things the way he, Jake, and the others did, vampires were vampires, the Cullens weren't different, they just had a better show.

"She's gone, the girls took her out for a drive, they're waiting for us" Jacobs thoughts rang out.

"Remember, keep yourself under control, be respectful."

I phased before coming into the yard, Sam and Jacob were waiting for me.

Walking in the house I made a face when the leech stench hit my nose, I looked around hoping the windows were open. I saw Edward get up, sliding the windows as he walked around the room. When he got to the window near me I whispered a thanks, he only nodded.

"Why doesn't everyone have a seat, we'll just jump in, I'm not sure how long the girls are going to be able to keep her out before she starts to panic and needs to come home."

My body bristled at the use of his word "home" to describe his house for Dawn; I couldn't help but think that her home was with me. I felt a nudge on my shin, I looked, Jacob had kicked me, he must have seen the emotion cross my face. I looked at him, smiling sweetly, I rolled my eyes, I knew, I would be good.

Sam started by asking a few questions, "What's her name, where did she come from?"

Carlisle looked at me, "She doesn't know, or remember her name, when we asked she said she didn't think she had ever been given one, but she likes being called Dawn." He looked over at me; I could feel the pink starting to creep over my ears. "I think Edward might have the best insight to her past, she put up a fight for a while to shield herself from his abilities, but eventually she let him in."

Carlisle paused, looking meaningfully at Sam, "Go ahead Edward"

I felt Sam and Jacob position themselves on either side of me, sandwiching me between them on the couch, Edward standing, then speaking.

"She's not really sure where she's from, but I get pictures from her thoughts, she was kept chained in some sort of basement, she was kidnapped when she was just a child. She was taken by a vampire." He paused, looked at Carlisle who nodded for him to continue, "His intent was to take her, to feed on her, but once he touched her was able to see her gift."

"Gift, what gift?" I couldn't help myself, it just blurted out.

It was Carlisle's turn to speak, "We think Dawn might be a 'healer', just like Jasper can help control emotions around him, but the opposite, Dawn is more like a sponge. She absorbs and collects pain, physical pain and we think peoples emotional pain. We're not sure how it works yet, I've never met someone with that gift, I've only heard about it."

The three of us on the couch all looked at each other. "Is that why he didn't feed on her, he wanted to turn her, to use her gifts?" Sam shook his head, "that could be a powerful gift in the wrong hands."

Edward starting speaking again, "Dawn doesn't remember, not consciously anyway, what happened to her after he took her, it's been difficult to try to read her thoughts, but it appears as though he "experimented" on her, to see how much pain, how much injury she could handle,"

I sucked in my breath, I could hear Jake and Sam gasp as well, I could feel myself getting angry, I took in a quick couple of breathes, controlling myself, not wanting, but needing to hear what else they had to say.

Edwards voice dropped to a whisper, even with my heightened hearing I had to lean forward to hear him. "The vampire, he was a werewolf hunter, working for the Volturi, he used her to take his injuries away, to be a better fighter, to give her his injuries so he could heal faster." Edward took a step closer to Emmett, I could tell this next part was difficult for him to tell us, "When the werewolves found out, they attacked her, knowing that if they killed her they could defeat him, we think that's how she got away, they thought they had finally killed her."

I jumped up, I was shaking, I wanted to scream, to yell, to be sick. I realized I had tears in my eyes. I didn't stop, I walked out the backdoor, and throwing my head over the railing I was sick. I could hear voices behind me, then the voice of Sam, "just give him a minute, he'll be alright."

I stalked back in, pausing in the kitchen to grab a glass of water, rinsing the bile from my mouth.

"Are you sure about all of this, couldn't it be something else, anything else?" I heard the pleading in my voice. I couldn't bear thinking about all Dawn had been through.

"I did some blood work on her when she first got here, comparing it to ours, to Nessie's, and to a sample I had from Jake, she hasn't been turned, but there are some vampire markers in here, some other one too, ones I can't identify. I counted twenty-four chromosomes." Carlisle looked at us, "She's getting better, getting stronger, I'm hopeful that when she starts to feel safer that she can share all that has happened, help us understand everything, until then we really don't know much."

"You said she was a 'healer' how does that work?" Jacob was curious, I was too, but I didn't want to ask.

"I don't know exactly, I'm hoping as she starts to trust me more I can find out more, but so far it looks like she can take your injury away, that if you're injured she can absorb your injury, make it hers, so you heal. We think that's where all the bite marks came from, not because she's been physically bit, but she was used as an injury dumping ground by those who had been." Carlisle looked at me, "have you noticed that while you've been here this time our scents have been equally offensive to each other," he gestured to the open windows, "but when you were in her room with her you didn't notice us at all?"

I nodded my head, not sure what he was implying.

"I think Dawn knew that you were bothered, and in her mind she interpreted that discomfort as pain so rather than have you experience it, she did."

I gasped, "no, no, no!" I couldn't be the reason for her to be in any more pain, I couldn't be the cause.

Carlisle raised his hand, "I don't think it's like that," reading the pain on my face, "I think there are different levels, different types of pain, discomfort for her." He sat, "Esme was helping her dress and touched her, bare skin to bare skin, Esme was thinking about a loss," you could hear how painful this was for Carlisle to talk about, "when they touched the feeling of loss was gone for Esme, replaced with one of calm and acceptance. It wasn't a physical pain she had been feeling at the time, but Dawn still responded to it, taking it away from her, but Dawn didn't react like it was painful for her to accept, I think it's the same way when she helps Embry deal with his discomfort, it's not painful for her they way it's painful for those around her. Just the major injuries, the injuries to vampires and wolves that would kill a normal person are painful for her." Carlisle was quiet for a minute, "I wonder. ." his voice trailed off, his look thoughtful, "Dawn is human, but I wonder if she's be exposed to the others so often, even if not directly she's built up a tolerance, that's what the abnormalities are that I see."

We could hear a clock chime down the hall, I knew it was getting late and Dawn would be back soon, but there was something I had to know, something I had to ask. "Is that why she tried to attack Sam, why she ran from Jake, she thinks we're going to kill her?" I didn't want to ask, didn't want the answer, but I had to know.

Edward came over, sitting down on the coffee table across from me, "When she sees you, all she can see in her mind, all she experiences is terror. When you found her that day in the woods that was AFTER she had healed from her attack." Edward let his words sink in, I knew he wasn't trying to be unkind; he wanted us to have the truth. I sat there stunned; I wasn't even angry, just empty. Hollow.

I put my face in my hands, "how can I fix her, will she heal?" the pain was almost too much for me, I felt Jacob lay a hand on my back and that's all it took for me to loose it, I sobbed.

I felt Sam get up, he, Carlisle, Jasper, and Edward standing together, their voices to low for me to hear. Jacob's voice in my ear, telling me to pull myself together. I couldn't help it, I couldn't take anymore, I couldn't hear anymore, I looked at Jacob and crossed to the door, I had to get away, I felt like I was being ripped apart, I couldn't be there. I made it to the woods, but I couldn't phase. There was too much pain, not enough anger yet. I saw Jared coming towards me; he must have seen me leaving the house. I just shook my head at him. I knew everyone would know my shame soon enough, right now I just needed to escape. I couldn't think of where to go, who could understand. My imprint, my Dawn, I couldn't help her. I couldn't even be near her without causing her more pain. What was I going to do, how was I going to handle that, I felt like I was going mad. I didn't have a destination in mind I just started walking.

I knew my behavior was going to get me in trouble with Sam and Jacob again, but I was passed the point of caring. All I could think about was how I would never feel whole again. Dawn was the other half of me, what would I be without her?

Emily. Emily had been imprinted on maybe she could help me. I walked up to the house, I could tell Sam wasn't home yet, probably still talking to the Cullens or letting the pack know what was going on. I knocked on the door; I could hear Emily moving around inside.

"Embry" I could hear the surprise in her voice, "since when did you start knocking?" She stepped back so I could enter. She looked at my face, her hand flying to cover her mouth, "Oh, Embry, what happened, you look like a wreck"

I let her lead me to a chair and I sat with a thud. I had coming wanted to talk to Emily, to tell her about Dawn, to see if as my imprinted she would know how I felt, but all I could do was stare straight ahead, looking at the wall. I had all these thoughts rushing though my mind; could she get better? Could she heal herself? Would she get better? Could she ever see me as anything but the object of her nightmares? How could I protect her from her nightmares? Her memories? What would I do without her?

I was vaguely aware of voices around me, hearing Sam, Jacob, Quil, and Jared talking to Emily. Someone, I don't know who lead me out towards Jakes car, I heard Leah walking up, "better off without a crazy vamp-ite if you ask me."

That did it, I turned, phasing as I did, growling and snarling in her face. I saw the panic, the momentary fear before feeling Jared, Quil, and Jake's hands pushing me back. Sam's voice rang out, "Embry! That's enough, I'm sure she," he looked meaningfully at Leah, "didn't mean it like that." "Why don't you take a few days, get yourself together" his voice lowered, he looked at Emily, "we'll figure something out, just don't' destroy yourself in the meantime."

I looked back at Leah; I cocked my head hoping she could see the apology in my eyes. I ran off into the woods needing to be away from everyone.

"_I can't even imagine, Embry must be out of his mind"_

"_Tortured, I wonder how she got here"_

"_Embry, I know you're listening, I'm sorry, I know that was out of line"_

"_At least the Cullens will keep her safe, at least until she gets better"_

I let the thoughts of the pack swirl around me, I walked around the Cullens until I could see her window, I could see shadows in her room, I laid down next to a tree, out of sight of the house, but where I could still keep an eye on her. I hoped she was home, that she was safe, that she was able to enjoy herself with the Cullen girls. I laid my head on my paws, I just wanted her to be safe, even if I couldn't be with her, even she could never know I was out there looking out for her, I would still be there, watching, guarding, protecting.

I heard a door open. I raised my head. "Embry, I know you're out there, I can hear your thoughts." Edward stepped outside, walking towards me, "just so I can put your mind at ease, and get some peace of my own, she's home, she's safe, well as safe as she can be, and she appears like she enjoyed her time out of the house." I could still hear Edward; I could see him too, walking towards me in the dark. "You know Embry, I understand this 'imprinting' better than you might think, just look at Jake and Nessie." I nodded my head, "I don't know what it was, but I think Dawn knew when you were here with her, the only time she lowered her defenses long enough for me to read her has been when you were with her, even if she didn't know you were there." Edward shrugged at me, "If you need anything overnight, just come over"

I pondered what Edward said for a while after he walked away, maybe the bloodsuckers weren't all as cold, hard, and heartless as I thought. He didn't need to come over the let me know she was there, I couldn't bring myself to call it her 'home', somewhere buried deep inside I still clung to the hope that her home could be with me. I also thought about what else he said, that she only lowered her defenses when I was there, I clung to that hope, that even if she wasn't physically aware that I was there, at least subconsciously she felt safe around me. I felt myself starting to drift off, my last thoughts being that I could wait, for however long it took for Dawn to heal, that until then I would always be there for her, even if she didn't know I was there.

I was on my feet in an instant, my paws digging into the ground as I ran to the Cullens. I could hear Dawn screaming out in pain, in terror. What was going on, what were they doing to her? Edward and Emmett stopped me at the door, Emmett throwing his body off the porch and on me to force me to stop. I jumped, positioning myself to attack, Emmett's arms out, "Stop" I heard Edwards voice force it's way in, "she's having nightmares, no one is hurting her" I looked at Edward, then at Emmett, he nodded, we just didn't want you tearing into the house, scaring her more. Emmett shrugged, "man, you hit hard" I looked back and forth between then, trying to see if they were lying, trying to keep me away for any other reason. I made eye contact with Edward, letting him see my thoughts, "No, she's fine, she's just having nightmares, Carlisle and Esme and are sitting with her," Edward smiled, "I think Esme is just as worried as you are, she's trying to convince Carlisle to wake her up so they can give her something to sleep." I looked at Edward again, asking him to stay there for a minute, I walked around the corner of the house, phasing human and pulling my cutoffs on as I walked back.

"You're sure, she's ok?" I debating asking my next question, but I knew Edward saw it anyway, I could barely bring myself to ask the question, "What's in her nightmares?"

I sat on the porch steps, Edward leaned against the railing, "Are you sure you really want to know this stuff?"

Emmett made a motion, still standing in the yard, "I think maybe I'll go back inside, this looks like a private, mind-reader to werewolf kind of talk"

I looked over at Emmett, shaking my head deciding it didn't' really matter, and if Dawn's nightmares didn't get any better soon I might need him there to prevent me from going to her. I slid sideways on the steps, "nah, have a seat," I looked upward, "I may need you to knock me over again."

Emmett grinned at me, positioning himself on a step next to my legs.

I looked at Edward, "go ahead," I bowed my head, knowing I wouldn't like was he was going to say, but not able to not listen.

Edward dropped his voice, "I wasn't able to get any kind of read off her, not till she was in a deep sleep, and it's just random disjointed pieces," he looked down at me, "She's just always on alert, waiting for something." I looked at him, confusion on my face, he saw, "imagine that you're afraid of snakes, then someone puts you in a room FILLED with them, you don't feel safe, you're just waiting for one of them to strike, it doesn't matter that they're not venomous, in your mind all snakes are deadly, that's what its like for her. Except we're the snakes. She's seen that we're not going to hurt her, but her only reference of our kind has brought her pain." He looked at me, I guess he could see that I was thinking the only my kind had brought her was worse, vampires might have hurt her, but my kind tried to kill her, left her for dead.

Her screams were dying down, I could hear her sobbing now, I could picture her, the way she looked when she ran and I found her in La Push. I wanted so desperately to run up the stairs, to wrap my arms around her and make her feel safe. Edward laid a hand on my shoulder; I knew he saw the thought.

Her sobs eventually abated, I guess she fell asleep. It was quiet, Emmett and Edward stayed with me on the porch. I was surprised at the comfortable silence that surrounded us; maybe I'd have to give my opinions about leeches another thought. I heard Edward smile behind me, maybe not I rethought.

I looked out over the yard, seeing the mountains, the sun was rising. Dawn was breaking. The thought caught me off guard MY Dawn was broken. I only hoped that she was healing.

I stifled a yawn, stretching. I looked at Emmett and Edward, "Thank you guys, for staying with me, to preventing me from doing something stupid." I couldn't believe it, I was thanking these two, and I meant it. I ran my fingers through my hair, I couldn't remember the last time I had a shower.

"No problem, we want her to heal too." Emmett spoke, 'But I'm going in now, Rosalie will already give me no end of crap for spending the night with a wolf." He laughed and shook my hand. "I can sit with you tomorrow night if you want" then he was in the house. I wasn't even sure if I had heard the last part correctly, I looked at Edward who nodded, "That goes for me too."

I shook my head; I really needed to do some rethinking about bloodsuckers. "You'll call, if something happens, or changes, or anything, you'll call and tell me." I hated the sound of desperation in my voice, but I knew I could trust him, I could trust all of them. What choice did I have?

"Yeah, if anything happens we'll let you know"

"I'll be back tonight then, when twilight hits." I turned, walking into the woods, phasing to get home quicker.

"_What do you talk about with vampires all night about?"_ Paul's question caught me off-guard, he must have been watching the Cullen house.

"_Just trying to learn more about Dawn, find a way to help her, besides they're not all bad."_

I heard Paul's silence, _"maybe I don't want to know, if it can make you change your mind about leeches like that" _I was tired, I needed a shower, I just let him see my thoughts, of Edward and Emmett sitting with me in silence, suffering with me until Dawn was able to sleep, distracting me so I wouldn't so something to mess up the progress she was making. _"Oh, yeah, I guess sometimes they're ok." _

I didn't even have the energy to smile as I walked in the backyard, not even bothering to get dressed after phasing, I wanted to walk right into the shower before collapsing into bed. Luckily my brothers were sleeping, I wondered if they had to pick up my patrol shifts since I was so focused on Dawn. I felt bad, but decided that I didn't feel _too_ bad about it. I could wait to talk to Sam and Jake about being put back on rotation until after I showered and slept. I shook my head, getting used to the co-Alpha-ship of the pack had taken some time. Sam and Jake had both decided we were stronger together and had worked hard to rejoin us. We all knew even if they called themselves "co-Alpha's" it was just in name; Sam would be stepping down soon, but until then we all looked to him for leadership.

The shower was great, being a toasty 108 degrees it was nice to stand in the cool spray and remember what it felt like to not be warm enough to toast marsh mellows. I stepped out of the bathroom, debating whether I wanted to crawl right into bed or raid the fridge first, my stomach growled, I poked my head in the door, grabbing the jelly. I sniffed, taking the lid off, yep, Quils moms homemade blackberry preserves; I looked for the bread and a jar of peanut butter. My rifling through the drawers must have woken Jake; he stumbled bleary-eyed in, sitting down at the table. He nodded towards the jar in my hand, "you want to make me one of those too?" I wanted to toss it at him, tell him to make his own, then realized he was probably tired from running my watch and feeling just a bit indebted to him I did. I sat at the table across from him. There was so much I wanted to talk to him about, both because he was the "Beta" a term we all loved to use on him after hearing that Bella had called him that, even if it was no longer accurate. He was also the only other one of the pack to imprint on someone not only outside our tribe, but also in some ways outside our species.

I swallowed, not sure how to start, "So you an Nessie, uh, um, yeah, maybe vampires aren't as horrible as I thought." I shook my head, that wasn't what I was trying to say; I didn't equate Nessie with anything horrible. I saw Jacobs's brows come together; he looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face.

"No" he began slowly, "Nessie's pretty awesome, what" he paused, I think trying to figure out what I was trying to say, "what, happened last night?"

'Oh, I wanted to stay close to Dawn, but I ended up spending the night with Emmett and Edward." As soon as those words were out of my mouth I wanted to suck them back in, I stammered, "I mean, Dawn was having nightmares, screaming and crying in her sleep, Edward and Emmett stayed with me, distracting me." I looked down, "If they hadn't been there I would have tried to get in the house, to have gone to her."

Jake looked at me; "you know that's a bad idea, right, that it won't help her." I looked at Jake, I could only nod my head, "Embry, don't make me or Sam have to give you and order to stay away from her, we know what you're going through, every time you phase we feel it too, but you have to let her heal, you can't force it"

I looked at him glumly, "I know, I'll be okay, don't make it an injunction." I knew my voice was sounding desperate, "I just want to stay close enough to her to know she's safe, I won't do anything to put her recovery in jeopardy.' I looked him in the eyes, "I promise, wolfs honor." I made the Boy Scout sign and we both laughed.

"Now, how does Nessie fit in to this?" Jake was looking at me, a smile dancing on his face,

"Well, I was thinking, I don't know, it's just you and I are the only ones whose imprints aren't normal." I looked at Jacob, "I don't' mean "not normal" I just mean, well that have a vampire connection, that aren't part of a tribe," I took a deep breath, "what do you think that means, is there something wrong with us, is that normal?"

Jacob started laughing at me, shrugging his shoulders. "Sam and I were talking about that when you first imprinted, what it meant that there were two of us that imprinted of a different type of girl, who knows. I know that I love Nessie, that I'm devoted to her, the same way you are to Dawn, who knows why they were chosen for us. I just accept it, I can't imagine being with anyone other than Nessie, I don't care what she is."

It was hard to argue with that, especially given how tired I was. "Listen, can you tell Sam I'll be by today, until Dawn gets better I guess I should be doing my part, I just need to catch a few hours of sleep first."

"Yeah, I'll let him know, as long as you're sure, but I think you should really think about taking a few days, I know until Dawn makes some sort of improvement you'll be spending as much time as you can near the Cullens. Why don't you sleep on it and we can all talk about it once you wake up."

"Sure, fine, good night" I yawned, already walking down the hall towards bed.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I sat sandwiched on Bella and Edwards bed between Esme and Bella, watching Alice sort though Bella's closet. I lowered my voice, whispering, hoping, but knowing better, that Alice wouldn't hear me, "I could just wear this" I gestured down at what I was wearing, some stretchy yoga pants and a baggy long sleeved shirt. I sniffed the shirt; it was probably Jaspers from the way it smelled.

"No, no, no." I could hear the eye roll in Alice's voice, I have something in mind, I just need to," I heard something moving around in the giant closet, "ah-ha here it is!" Alice came out, triumphantly holding a pair of boots in one hand, an outfit and coat in the other. She looked at me, "You seemed a little cold" she nodded towards the coat, and Bella hasn't worn any of these things, ever" she said the last part while looking meaningfully at Bella, Bella just shrugged her shoulders.

"Now we'll just step out so you can change, then go for a little ride, give you a tour of the area."

I could hear them standing outside the door as I changed, I'm sure they were listening to make sure I didn't try to make another run for it. I almost giggled to myself, here I was, somewhat captured again, but this time by a bunch of woman vamps who were trying to dress me up and get me out of the house. I took a deep breath, "is Rosalie coming with us" I wasn't exactly sure that I wanted her to come, something about her was colder than the others, more distant. Not in a way that frightened me, just in a way that I felt like she was trying to keep herself away from me, and to some degree away from Bella.

"I'll be right back, let me go ask her, beside I'll have to grab Emmett's keys, we all won't fit in my car." I heard a door shut as Alice ran out.

I opened the bedroom door, Esme and Bella were waiting for me, "You look nice."

Esme looked at me, I looked down, "I'm just glad to be feeling warmer"

"Alright, everyone in." Alice's tinkling voice sang out, I saw Rosalie standing with her, next to one of the largest vehicles I had ever seen.

My jaw dropped, "are we riding in that?" I asked while pointing to it, "that thing is huge"

"Yeah, but it's the only think that will hold all of us" Alice smiled again, "I'll have to take you out in MY car soon, it leaves this thing in the dust"

I looked at it quickly, decided to climb into the front seat, I didn't' want to get caught having to sit in the middle on the backseat. I was fairly certain that they weren't taking me somewhere to drain me, but I could tell there was something they weren't telling me about why they needed to get me out of the house.

I was thankful for the seatbelt, even if I did need help from Rosalie to figure out all the buckles, and door handle once Alice started to drive. She turned to me, "anything special you want to see?"

I looked at her, pulling my lower lip into my mouth, "Alice, I don't know where I am, let alone what there is to see here"

"Oh," Esme spoke from the backseat, "Honey, you're in Forks, in Washington State."

I thought for a second, trying to place Washington on a map, all I could think of was Washington was the capital. I turned to face the backseat, "Forks? I thought the capital was its own city?" Confusion in my voice.

Rosalie laughed, "No, not the Capital, that's Washington DC, this is the state of Washington, it's in the Pacific Northwest."

"Does that mean we're near the beach then?" I saw everyone exchange a look; it wasn't until the words were out of my mouth that I realized they were all probably thinking of the last time I had been to a beach. When I jumped in. The jeep suddenly went quiet.

"Yeah, but it's had to see at night," Bella spoke, looking at everyone she spoke slowly, "maybe in a little while, when you're feeling up to it we can find someone to take you"

Suddenly my stomach made a horrible growling noise, breaking the silence. "Oh, dear, you need to tell us when you're hungry, Alice, why don't you pull in the next place you see, we can grab something for her."

We suddenly came upon a lighted station along the road; Alice somehow managed to maneuver the beast vehicle into the small space painted between two yellow lines. I dropped my hands down, trying to work the harness, but getting the latches tangled. I heard Rosalie; sitting behind me, sigh, "hold on, don't hurt yourself." she deftly got out, opening my door, reaching in, and quickly undoing the buckles. I tried not to flinch as she reached to me, but I know she saw it. I looked at her; I could only cast my eyes down. I felt bad, she hadn't done anything to me, but I was afraid of everyone. She shook her head, her beautiful blond hair moving freely, "I'll go in with her, be right back." She turned, walking in the store; I quickly fell into step behind her.

The door opened and it was like stepping into a brightly lit explosion of color. I faltered at the door, she turned to me, "so what'd you like?" I could only look at her, my mouth agape.

I shrugged, "I don't know what any of this stuff is." I started walking up and down the aisle, trying to read the labels, I could make out some words, but they didn't' make sense to me, I understood 'nacho' and 'cheese', but what was a 'Doritos?' Rosalie saw my confusion, her laugh was infectious, and I started laughing too. She nodded her head, calling me over to a wall of giant clear refrigerators. I saw a bottle of what I hoped was milk, yep label said milk, and saw Rosalie gather a bunch of other brightly packaged items and put them in a basket. I tried to read the labels, but they had words like 'razzles', 'frito', 'milky way' and other words that didn't make sense in conjunction with food. After the basket was filled with every kind of brightly packaged stuff in the store Rosalie brought it to the counter, she also, after I saw her quickly debate, put a foil wrapped item next to it. I walked over, standing next to her as the woman behind the counter took everything out of the basket, one item at a time, typed, and then dropped it into a bag. Rosalie handed me one of the bags, telling me to head out to the Jeep, she'd carry the other one.

I couldn't wait to see what was in all the packages; it was like everything was gift-wrapped. I flung open the door, dumping the bag onto the seat, open everything at once. I heard Alice start to laugh, Esme looked at me with a weird expression, but Bella reached forward, trying to sort stuff, I think. She looked up at me, "here, I used to really like these," she handed me something in an orange wrapper. I tried to read the package, this one made sense to me, 'peanut butter and cheese crackers' I opened it, popping the first one in my mouth as Rosalie walked up. She handed me the other bag, which was promptly dumped on the seat with the other bag of goodies.

She looked at Alice, "I hope you plan on explaining to Emmett where all these crumbs, and the smell came from."

I stopped, looking to her; I was suddenly filled with dread, my voice a whisper. "Will Emmett be mad at me?" The cracker that had once tasted so wonderful now being nothing more than paste in my mouth.

"No, No, honey, it's fine, Rosalie was just teasing" Esme looked at Rosalie, "it's fine, don't' worry about anything."

I looked at Rosalie, she was shaking her head at me, but I could see a grin.

I turned back to the mountain of colors in front of me, looking for the milk, the one thing I knew I could identify without needing to read a label. I twisted the top off, enjoying the wonderful coolness of it. I looked through the rest of the pile, pulling items out, asking what they were, it was mostly Bella who explained what each item was, what it tasted like.

I picked up the final item, it was warm and wrapped in foil, I held it up after I opened it, I recognized this, it was a sausage. I took a bite; well it was kind of a sausage. Bella described it as a 'hot dog' I turned my head, spitting it out. I heard the jeepload of women laughing, "No, it's not really dog," Bella was trying to reign in her laughter, "it's just called that, it's beef or pork, it's just tube shaped." I shrugged, hungry, taking another bite.

Alice helped my put everything back in the bags, making room on the seat for me. I was better this time around getting the straps to go the correct way around me. I looked at Alice, "where we going next?" She looked in the mirror, "anyone have a problem with a late night run to Seattle?"

I heard Esme make a noise, "maybe not tonight, I really think we should stay close to home in case being out gets to be too much for someone," I felt her look at me. "Why not just a slow tour of Forks instead"

Alice shrugged, "I guess there's always next time" she turned the Jeep back towards the direction we came.

I had so many questions, things I wanted to ask, but something held me back, except for one, I had one that couldn't wait. "What's going on back there that you didn't want me to see?"

The Jeep was silent, "I know you're hiding something from me, I trusted you enough to leave with you, to not ask questions, I even swallowed my fear of being alone with you, please don't lie to me, whatever it is can't be worse than anything else I've faced." I turned in my seat to face Alice and the three sitting in the backseat.

I saw Bella and Rosalie look to Esme, but Bella spoke first. "Carlisle and the guys are just meeting with some friends of ours, non-vampire friends, to try to help you." I saw her eyes look at Esme, decided if she should keep going or not.

"Who are they? I didn't know vampires had friends, let alone human ones" I wasn't going to let them off the hook, if they wanted me to trust them, and I was starting to, then they would need to earn my trust.

I saw Esme look down, suddenly very interested in her nails. I heard Rosalie speak, "The friends that are there aren't human friends either," she looked around, I think looking for help from the others in the car,

"Shape-shifters," this came from Alice, I felt a collective sigh from the backseat when Alice spoke. "They're meeting with friends of ours that can shape shift into animals." I saw her eyes look in the mirror again, looking at the ladies in the backseat. "They can sometimes have different ideas, or different experiences, so Carlisle and the guys thought they might be able to help in your case."

"And you were afraid my being there would scare them." I nodded my head, "I understand, but all you had to do was tell me, otherwise I'm left using my imagination which is much much worse."

I saw a pained look go across Esme's face when I spoke the last, "Esme, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I'm not afraid of you,"

"I know, I just, sometimes I can't help but think of other things, it's alright, we didn't mean to deceive you"

"Is it alright with you if I open a window?" I suddenly asked, the slight tension making my feel the sweat prickle up under my warm wooly coat.

"Go ahead, doesn't matter to us, never too cold, never too hot." I looked back at Rosalie, I knew what she said was true, but I was still taken by just how matter of fact she was.

"Ok, this is Main Street." Alice had maneuvered us into town, she was starting her tour "This is the grocery store" she drove further down the same street, "the sporting goods store" "gas station" "post office" and "library" she stopped at an intersection, "That was it, the whole town." "Not a whole lot to see here, once you're feeling up to it we'll hit some bigger, better places, get some new clothes," she looked at me, grinning, "we can take care of giving you a haircut at home"

I looked in the backseat, "Is that a good idea? Should I let her cut my hair?" The backseat just laughed, "don't worry, she may appeared over caffinated, but she's very good when it comes to making people look their best." I smiled at Bella, glad that she gave her such a recommendation.

I looked out the window again, trying to hide a yawn. This was the first time I had been out of the house since I got there, I was trying to think, I wasn't even sure when I had gotten there, I think I remembered there was still snow on the ground. I couldn't hide the yawn from Esme, she had 'mom-eyes'. "Alice, why don't you start heading for home, I think Dawn's had enough excitement for one day." I heard Rosalie dial quickly, speaking into her phone to fast for me to understand.

"Making sure the shape shifters are gone so I don't scare them," I laughed, but I couldn't help but see the look that was exchanged between them all. "What else aren't you telling me?" I knew I sounded like a child, but I was tired, and I wanted so badly to be able to trust them.

"Nothing, it's just we don't want them to frighten you, that's all, they're big guys." Esme was trying hard to be honest with me, I could tell by looking at her, but I could tell she was still holding something back.

We pulled into the drive then, and I decided I was too tired to figure it out. I knew she would eventually tell me, I already trusted her, if she wasn't telling me I'm sure she had a good reason.

I walked into the house with the girls, stopping when I came into the living room. I sat in the center of the couch; leaning back I took a deep breath. I sniffed again, turning my head back and forth, I saw Jasper looking at me, trying to not be obvious, but I could tell he was moving closer to me. You didn't spend as much time with vampires as I did without learning to pick up in a few cues. "What's wrong, something not right?"

"No, it's fine, I just got a whiff of something is all"

"Maybe I should open the windows, maybe it's us?" Jasper looked at me again.

"No!" I said it a little more forcefully than I had intended, I curled my legs up, "it's nice, woodsy and kind of ocean-y." I laughed, hearing what I was saying. "Like if you mixed the Forest and the Ocean." I laughed again, "never mind, it just reminded me of something." I leaned my head back, closing my eyes, trying to remember where I knew that scent. Something about it was calming.

I felt Esme lift me from the couch, my eyes snapped open, I couldn't help it, I yelped out, pushing against her, launching myself onto the floor. I sat there, my face burning, I look up at Esme's face, and I saw that I had hurt her feelings. I hadn't meant to, I was just so edgy, so afraid of anyone touching me. "I'm so sorry." I started to cry, "You've all been so nice to me, I even ate a dog with you, I am so so sorry." I looked down, crossing my arms around my body.

"It's fine, no harm, I shouldn't have tried carrying you, you just looked so uncomfortable on the couch, I thought you'd do better in a bed, I'm sorry"

I heard Emmett laughing from the dining room, "what about eating a dog?" He looked at Rosalie, she rolled her eyes.

"At the filling station, Rosalie got one for me." I looked at him, "and milk, peanut butter crackers," I stopped to think about everything else that was in the bags in his jeep, using my fingers to count off the things I could remember, "a Doritos, a razzles, milky way, something called pop-tart, and lots of other stuff." I smiled thinking about, then like ice water in my veins I remembered what Rosalie has said about the food in Emmett's Jeep. I looked at him, his size, I sucked in a bunch of air, covered my mouth, "I'll be right back!" I took off running to the garage, I heard footsteps behind me, following me. I flung open the door, using my hands to wipe away and trace that anything had been on the seat, I saw a towel lying next to a motorcycle parked next the wall, I started using that to wipe the seat, the floor, the door, any surface I had touched.

"What are you doing?" I saw Emmett looking at me from the drivers' side window, his brows knitted together in a question.

I looked up guiltily, "trying to get any trace that I was there gone," my voice squeaked out.

Emmett and Carlisle both roared with laughter. "It's fine, who told you that?"

I looked over, taking my bottom lip between my teeth I just shook my head, "no one, I just didn't' want you to get mad."

I saw Emmett flick his eyes over to where Rosalie had been standing only a second ago, "Dawn, really, it's fine. You should see what this thing looks like when I take it out after it rains"

"Come on, back in the house, we don't want anyone catching a cold." Carlisle spoke from the doorway.

I walked back in, yawning again. Esme saw, "why don't you go up to bed, I laid some fresh pajamas on the bed for you"

"Thanks, I really appreciate all you've done for me" and I did. "Goodnight everyone"

I started up the stairs before I remembered, "How did the meeting go?" I saw the guys raise their eyebrows at me, looking quickly to the ladies.

Jasper spoke, "What meeting" he looked at Alice who only smiled at him.

"The one you had tonight, about me, to the shape shifters, did they know anything that might be able to help me?"

I thought I almost saw relief on their faces, "no, not yet, but we're all working on it, trying to see what we can come up with." Carlisle looked up at me, "maybe if you're feeling up to it tomorrow we can talk some more, the more I know the more I might be able to help."

"Yeah sure, sounds fine." I yawned again, "well night." I mumbled to myself as I was walking up the stairs, "I should have asked what shape they took." I made a mental note to myself to ask them tomorrow.

I walked down the hallway towards "my" room. I turned on the light and I felt drawn to the window, I looked out, seeing nothing in the yard. I could feel myself looking deep into the forest. I'm usually terrified of the dark, especially the dark woods, but something kept me staring out there, something that filled me with a sense of peace, of belonging. I heard Esme enter the room; she came over to stand next to me. "What are you looking at?" She looked over at me.

"Nothing, I was just looking, I've never thought of the woods as peaceful til now." I did a half smile, "I must really need sleep." I grabbed the nightclothes off the bed, crossing the hallway to change. I looked at myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth, maybe I would let Alice cut my hair, I didn't know that I had ever had a haircut. That decided I knew I needed to climb into bed, I could barely keep my eyes open.

I climbed into bed, allowing Esme to cover me with the mountain of blankets. "Esme" I asked when she got to the door

"Yes, Dawn, what is it?"

I swallowed, I wanted to ask her, but I didn't want to admit that I was still afraid, "could you stay with me, leave the light on until I fall asleep?" I didn't want to ask, I wanted to put up a front, that I was doing ok, but I knew I wasn't, I was still scared.

'Of course, of course I'll stay, as long as you like." She pulled a chair over, close enough for me to see her, but far away enough as to not disturb me.

I wanted to talk to her, to fight sleep, but she must have anticipated. "Dawn, go to sleep, we have tomorrow, the next day, the next, there's lots of time to talk, right now it's time to sleep"

I smiled, sinking further into my pillows, further into sleep.

I ran, I thought my heart would explode from my chest, I could see them chasing me, snapping, snarling, jaws, coming at me, closer, closer. I tried to hide, it was no use, I knew they would find me, that when they did I would feel nothing but pains. The bites were the worst; it was like acid in my veins. I could tell they were closer; I could smell them, a nasty mix of dung and sweat. I could see their hairy noses twitch when they got my scent, I tried to run again, but I couldn't I was too tired, to much pain. I felt the snaps, my ribs being crushed, my lungs exploding for air, I was gasping, I couldn't get enough air, I wanted to scream, I was frantic with fear, my body was on fire.

I suddenly sat up, I could see Esme and Carlisle, I was clawing at myself, at my throat, trying to breath. Esme sat down on the edge of the bed, a glass of water in her hands. I took it from her, drinking hungrily.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Carlisle was standing at the foot of my bed, speaking softly. "It might help to understand how we can help you if you can tell us what you've been through."

I couldn't stop myself, I launch myself into Esme's arms, sobbing, my body racked with emotion. I could feel the hard stiff feeling of her body, but there was something soft about it too. I could feel her look over my head at Carlisle as she wrapped her arms around me. My sobs shaking her as well. My tears dripping down my face, soaking her shirt. I stayed like that, in her arms till I had no more tears, until I was just exhausted.

I woke the next morning, my face tight feeling with dried tears. I was still in bed; Esme must have laid me back down once I had fallen asleep on her. I looked around, realizing that I had no idea what time it was, but seeing the sun rising over the mountains so I knew it was morning. I pulled the blankets back, letting the warmth escape. My feet hitting the floor felt the chill of the hardwood. I felt something fuzzy; I looked down, seeing slippers. I smiled, sliding my feet into them. I crossed the hallway to the bath, mentally thanking Esme or Alice for hanging an outfit on the closet door for me to wear. I closed the door, and stepped into the shower. It felt wonderful, feeling the full force of hot water cascade over me, the room filling with hot steam. I reached over, finding the same shampoo that Alice had used when I was unable to get out of bed, the fruity smell filling my senses.

I stepped out, glancing at the clothes that had been picked for me. I grinned, already able to see Alice's influence. I looked at the clothes I slept in, debating whether or not I should out those back on, but I didn't want to hurt Alice's feelings. I stopped, pants halfway pulled up, did I just think that? I didn't want to hurt the feelings of a vampire?

I ran a brush through my hair the best I could. Yeah, it was time to see if Alice could help with that.

I walked down stairs, seeing everyone spread through the house, I could hear the TV, Emmett watching some other sports show I assumed, Rosalie sitting near him, a book open in front of her, but I could feel her eyes on me. Jasper and Alice sitting at the dining room table, it looked they were playing some sort of game, but I could see Alice looking up. I could hear Esme in the kitchen. For a vampire she was in there a lot. I looked around, not seeing Edward or Bella. I looked over at Alice, "Thanks for the clothes," I looked down, the hip hugger jeans fitting snuggly. I had my pajama top on under the shirt she had laid out for me. It was a cute shirt, but I preferred to have my arms covered.

"You didn't like the shirt?" I heard Rosalie swallow a laugh on the couch.

I looked at Alice, "I do, it's beautiful, I just," I looked down, pulling my sleeves further down my arms, "I just prefer long sleeves is all"

Alice looked at me, her mouth forming an "O" as the realization hit. "I'm sorry Dawn, I didn't think about that, just that this red would look great on you."

Esme poked her head out from the kitchen, "Come on in, I made you breakfast."

I looked at the spread laid out, "Is this all for me?" I gasped

"Well, maybe Nessie might eat when she wakes up, but I wasn't sure what you would like" Esme looked at me and smiled. "If you don't want something, don't feel like you have to eat just because I cooked it."

Esme sat with me while I ate, even though I could tell the food had no appeal to her. I thought she was an amazing cook for someone who didn't eat what she made. I took a bite of a muffing, swallowing it with some juice, I wanted to ask Esme something, "Am I going to meet Nessie soon?" I had been wondering about her, the half-breed who lived with them.

"Well," Esme spoke slowly, "her parents are pretty protective, but I think they'll bring her by today"

"Her parents, Edward and Bella, right?"

"Yeah" I sat there, I'm sure Esme could see the confusion on my face, "Nessie is a long complicated story, and it's not really my story to tell." She smiled, "but don't worry, Nessie loves telling the story, talking about herself, there's so few people she can share her story with."

I just nodded, this family was unique, no question about it. "Would it be alright, if after breakfast I went outside for a while, just to get some fresh air?"

Esme looked around quickly, I saw her gaze linger out the window over the sink, "We don't want you to feel like a captive here, but since you don't know the area maybe it would be better if someone walked with you."

I swallowed more juice, nodding my head. "Maybe Carlisle, he asked me last night if I would be willing to talk with him"

"Did I hear my name?" Carlisle walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I was asking about going for a walk, Esme suggested I take someone with me, so I could find my way back without getting lost." I looked at him, "would you like to come with me?"

Carlisle nodded, "I think that sounds like a great idea, when did you plan on leaving?"

I looked down, my glass and plate empty; I looked back up, "How about now?"

He laughed, "it might be better to wait till a little later in the morning, give it a chance to warm up and let the frost burn off,"

"Alright," I agreed, then I got an idea, and I grinned at the two of them, whispering, "Do you think Alice would give me a haircut if I asked?"

I heard a squeal and the sound of a chair move from the living room, Alice skipping into the kitchen, "I was just waiting for you to ask," she reached for my hands, but I pulled them back, involuntarily, I saw something flick across her face, but it was gone before it got there. "Come on, come on, I have the perfect look for you picked out."

I followed her through the living room, I saw Jasper look at us as we passed, a grin on his face. At the bottom of the steps I turned to Rosalie, "Would you come with me, I don't want Alice to do anything too crazy." I saw something flicker in Rosalie's eyes, then a grin, as she got off the couch.

I wasn't sure which door was Alice's, but I could hear movement behind one of the doors when I got to the top of the steps, I opened that door. Alice's room was beautiful, I could tell it was shared with Jasper, but it was defiantly Alice's room. Her closet was the size of the bedroom I was staying in. Rosalie walked in, gliding to the bathroom where Alice was already pulling combs, brushes, scissors, and every other type of hair accessory out of a multitude of drawers and cabinets.

Rosalie turned to me smiling, "It not too late to back out, not yet anyway"

I smiled, shaking my head as I walked in.

I thought I had done an ok getting all the knots out of my hair after my shower that morning, but as she started brushing I could feel all the ones I had missed. I knew she was trying to be gentle, but vampires are strong. Alice finally got all the tangles out; my hair was laying kind of flat. She and Rosalie both stepping back, realizing how long it was, If I was standing it hit my mid thigh, sitting it was almost floor length.

Alice spoke, "Did you have anything in mind, or.." she trailed off, a grin on her face.

"I don't have a preference, just as long as Rosalie agrees with it" I looked at Rosalie, hoping that she would keep Alice in check.

"Ok, close your eyes, don't open then till I say" Alice started cutting, I could hear her and Rosalie talking quietly, Alice moving all around me, the hair falling off. She suddenly stopped, I could feel her fingers fluffing my hair, and then the both of them took a step back. "Open them!"

I slowly opened my eyes, not sure what I was going to see, but when I looked in the mirror I had to stand up, lean in the mirror and touch my reflection. Alice had made me look beautiful. I couldn't believe that was me looking back, I turned to her, wrapping my arms around her, whispering thanks, and reaching for Rosalie, to hug her too. I pulled myself back, wiping a tear from my eye, "I can't believe you did that, that I could, I mean, " my words just sputtered. I couldn't believe what she had been able to create. My scraggily, knotted, wild hair had been calmed, I kept touching it, loving the feel of it's lightness. She left it still on the longer side, it came halfway down my back, and she had it styled in such a way that it was mostly straight, but she had left some of my natural wave to it. "I love it, I love it, I love it!" I shook my head, loving how soft, how light it felt.

I ran down the steps, eager to show it to everyone. I danced around the living room, showing Jasper and Emmett, both of them just shook their heads at me. Esme and Carlisle were still in the kitchen, I danced in, shaking my head, "what do you think? Isn't it great?" I ran my hands through it again, enjoying the light, silky feeling of it.

I ran over to the window, "what do you think, time for a walk yet?" I looked at Carlisle, "I'm ready, and I don't see any frost." I smiled at him, "please, I'm so ready to get outside, have some fresh air."

I


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

I woke after a few hours, I got out of bed, decided now was just as good of a time to talk to Sam as any. I groaned inwardly, not looking forward to the conversation waiting for me, but knowing I couldn't avoid it forever.

I got to Sam and Emily's, sticking my head in the door, Emily called out to me. "Embry, hey, come in, how have ya been?"

"Alright I guess, just trying to roll with the punches."

Emily looked at me, she knew I was lying, but she wasn't going to call me on it. She pulled a chair out at the table, motioning for me to sit, putting a muffin and a glass of milk down in front of me. I smiled, Emily knew the way to a wolf's heart.

She sat with me, moving her head to make eye contact with me, "I've heard from Sam, but if you want to tell me I'd like to hear your take on everything."

I looked at her; I could see the compassion shining on her face. I put the glass down, spinning it on the table with my fingertips, trying to find the words for what I was feeling. "I think I might be going crazy. This imprint may kill me." My voice lowered, "I can't even look at her without it hurting her." I stopped again, remembering when I saw her at the cliffs in La Push, the fear on her face when she made eye contact, I swallowed, taking a breath, "Emily, I almost killed her the night she ran away, she threw herself off that cliff because of me," The pain was almost unbearable, I could hear the cracking of my voice.

"Em, you didn't make her jump," Emily lay her hands over my shaking ones, "You are not responsible for what happened to her, you just need to be patient, everyday she's getting stronger." She paused, indecision on her face. She lowered her voice, "Sam went out just a bit ago, Jake went to see Nessie, Carlisle thought since Dawn wanted to walk in the woods it might be a good idea if someone else was there too, just in case." Emily reached out, lifting my chin so I had to face her, "You have to know, everyone is looking out for her, doing all they can to protect her."

"She's outside, in the woods" my voice got higher, excited. I looked around, trying to decide, I wanted to jump up, run outside, find out where she was, even if I couldn't be with her I could be near her. "Thanks Em, I gotta run."

Emily stood when I did, "Embry, wait a minute, don't just run off, think for a minute, is this a good idea?" She smiled, "Maybe you should check with Sam first."

I was already out the door when Emily said the last, but I knew she was right. As soon as I was hidden in the trees I phased, wanting, needing to talk to Sam.

"I knew I'd be hearing from you soon" Sam's thoughts in my head.

"Emily told me, where is she, is she alright?"

"I'm looking at the house now, she and Carlisle are just walking out."

"I'll be right there!"

"Embry, wait!"

I stopped dead in my tracks, "Sam, please, I won't do anything, I just want to see her, I have to be there, protect her, I'll keep distance," I knew I didn't have to say anything else, that Sam knew what I was feeling. I stayed still, waiting for Sam to give me the go ahead.

"They're heading northwest, I'll stay on the right, you take the left. Remember, don't approach, and don't engage, Carlisle is there with her, he'll keep her safe."

They were easy to find, even if I hadn't been able to smell them. For all of Carlisle's quiet grace Dawn was, well not. Her boots coming down with a thud, every step looked like it was going to throw her off balance. It took me a second of looking at her to realize why, I almost laughed. Her boots were huge! They easily came up to her knees, I'm sure the sole was larger than mine. I guessed they were Emmett's. She was dressed like she was setting off for the Antarctic, either her jacket was three sized too big or she was wearing lots of different layers. Even her hat made me smile, you could have spotted it from quite a distance, not just blaze orange, but glittery and with a giant tassel. I wondered if she had picked the hat or someone had picked it for her, making it easier for her to be seen. Her scent was wonderful, a musky mix of wood, like a bonfire. I could catch an occasional whiff of Carlisle, but once I was on a good track with them his was gone. I realized, with some regret, that she was somehow taking Carlisle's scent from me.

"Em, remember what Carlisle said, it's not causing her pain" I had been trying to keep my thoughts to myself, but I knew Sam was right. I didn't know much about the "gifts" that the Cullen's possessed, but I knew most of them had some extra power, that even Bella had one, one that she had when she was human, but when she became vamperized it had grown, gotten stronger. I had also experienced Nessie's gift, she loved sitting on your lap when she was younger, well smaller anyway, and putting her hands on you face. I thought about the first time she had done that to me, Jake had brought her over to our house, and about laughed himself sick when he saw my reaction. I smiled thinking about it, if Jake and Nessie could be imprinted, and Jake could survive Nessie's parents, and all the associated "stuff" that came with Nessie, I hoped that Dawn and I could too.

"I think they're heading over to where you found her." Sam invaded my daydreams, I was thankful it was Sam out there with me, not only was he the co-Alpha, and I hoped my actual brother, but he was comfortable with silence, allowing me to be in my own head for while.

I could see Dawn and Carlisle talking, but I didn't want to get any closer, even if I was dying to know what they were talking about. I could see Dawn gesturing wildly, her body posture changing. Her voice was rising, I could hear her yelling, she sounded so angry. ". . .Hate this! I should have just died!" I heard those words and watched her body just slump to the ground.

"Let Carlisle handle it, look, he's moving her over to a rock, she's ok"

Knowing Sam was right didn't make it any easier, but once she was sitting up, Carlisle handing her a bottle of water, she didn't look as angry. She just looked pale, even paler than she usually did. Carlisle sat down with her; it was hard to watch, Dawn's emotions shifting so radically. One minute she would jump up, starting pacing, you could see the anger in her movements, the next she would stop, hunch her shoulders, hang her head, then she would get in Carlisle's face, jabbing her finger at him, then she would just sit, staring off. I watched Carlisle put his arm around her, her shoulders racked with sobs. Then as her tears subsided, the way she curled into him, listening, letting her defenses drop.

"I can't watch this, it's killing me." The pain evident in my thoughts. "He has to stop, he needs to take her back, don't let her go through this anymore."

"He's doing it to help her, she can't heal until she can face her demons." I could see Sam moving around, I knew this was hard for him to witness also. Unfortunately we both knew it was necessary.

I noticed the wind shifting; looking up I realized evening was fast approaching. Carlisle looked up; I could swear he was looking right at me. He nodded his head, towards the direction of his house. He and Dawn both stood, I saw Dawn lean in to him, his arm around her, leading her back.

"It looks like they're going home. We'll stay with them until she gets inside."

"I'm planning on staying here again," I hoped Sam would allow it, "I think the nights are the hardest for her, she can't fight the nightmares, even though I can't do anything for her, I just, I just need to be near her" I knew Sam understood what I meant, my need to be near her when she was hurting, even if there was nothing I could do to help her.

"Just be careful, and remember to come home eventually, but I'll let everyone know where you are"

We had made it back to the Cullen's then, I watched as Carlisle and Dawn stepped in the back door, walking up the same steps I had spent last night on. I felt Sam turn, heading towards home. I found my spot from last night, at the base of a tree where I could keep the house, and more importantly, Dawn's window, in view. I sniffed at the air, hopefully the weather wouldn't be too cold tonight, not that the cold had much effect of me; I just remembered that Dawn was always cold. Summer was just around the corner, maybe once the sun was around more it would be easier for her.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

"You're going to need some warm clothes, I know it doesn't look too cold out there, but even in May Washington still isn't summery." I looked down at what I was wearing. I had on my borrowed jeans, and had traded my pajama top and shirt for a long sleeved blouse after my haircut. My sock covered feet where pushed up into slippers.

"Maybe Bella will let me borrow her coat and boots again?" I thought for a second, "But I think I gave them back to her and she took them back to her house" I took a step towards the door, "I could walk down and ask"

I saw Esme look towards Bella's house, "I think Nessie might have a friend over, I'm sure we can find something for you to wear without needing to bother them."

Too excited about going outside I didn't realize that Esme was trying to distract me from Nessie again, instead I turned to her, "you have coats here?" I was puzzled, I knew vampires didn't get cold, didn't experience the change in temperatures the same way humans did.

Esme nodded, "We camp a lot, it helps to have all the right props. Let's go look and see what will work for you" She waved her hand, motioning for me to follow her. I was shocked when I saw the sheer volume of outdoor gear and clothing they had. Esme started pulling things down and off hangers, making a pile. "Here try this," she handed me a stack of thermals, followed by a sweatshirt, a sweater, a windbreaker, then a heavy coat that was large enough to cover all the layers. "Can't forget you feet," She handed me two pairs of wooly socks, they made my feet look really wide, to wide to fit inside the first pair of boots she pulled out. I saw a larger pair just inside the door, I slipped them on, they stopped just under my knees, but they were wide enough to fit my feet with the socks.

I stuck my arms out, spinning, "How's this?" I grinned, feeling like a kid.

"One more thing," Esme reached over, and plopped a god-awful eyesore of a hat on my head. She looked at me, "you can't get lost in that hat." I could only smile.

I looked towards the door when I heard Carlisle's laughter. "I see you're ready to go." He looked to Esme, "I don't think it's that cold out, she would have been fine with just boots and a coat."

Esme gave him a serious look, "I don't want her getting cold and getting sick, she's finally feeling better I want to keep her that way."

Carlisle opened the garage door; turning to me he asked if I was ready. I nodded enthusiastically; I was starting to get really warm in all the layers. With my first step I could feel how big the boots were on my feet, hearing them clomp across the floor, but now that we were going I didn't want to stop to trade them for a pair that fit better.

"Why don't we head over to where you were found, maybe being there might jog your memory some?"

Carlisle matched his step with mine; I was silent for a while. I knew Carlisle wouldn't force me to talk, or ask anything until he knew I was ready to talk.

"Who found me?" I looked over at him, I knew he wanted to ask me questions, but I had questions too. "I remember running away, well kind of, it's still all scrambled," I paused, trying to organize my thoughts some more, "I mean I remember running away, but then feeling like I was running towards something, almost like something was calling me here. I was just so tired, so exhausted." I stopped; looking around I realized we were close to where I last remembered being, where I must have been found. "It was like I was looking for something, but couldn't find it." I looked down, ashamed of what I was going to say next, "there," I pointed to the cliff hanging over us, "I jumped" My breath caught, "I didn't know what else to do"

I stopped walking, letting my arms hang limply down my side, my head tilting back, I let the memories come, flooding my mind. I started pacing, stomping my feet as I walked, looking at Carlisle, knowing that I was safe here, that I could unleash my anger.

I swung my hand up, shaking it in his face, using him to vent my pain, my anger. "I could have been normal, why did he have to find me" I realized I was yelling, but I didn't' care. "I was a kid, he stole my childhood, my family from me, all I wanted was to be loved, All those years, locked up, I wanted to give up, to just stop. There was nothing but pain," I stalked back over to Carlisle; I wanted to hit, to put some of my pain on him. "How," I sputtered, "Your kind did this to me, made me this way." I kept going, kept shouting, yelling at Carlisle, taking out all my anger, my hurts, my frustration out on him. "I was happy when he was killed" I looked at Carlisle, "I watched them tear him apart, I was happy when he burned."

Carlisle sat there, let me use him; let me get all the anger off my chest. When I stopped, when I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest, it was beating to wildly, I was spent, I let myself just slump to the ground. He led me to a rock, handing me a bottle of water. "Better?" I looked at him, I was sorry I had taken my anger out at him, I knew he didn't' deserve it, but taking a ragged breath I realized I did feel better. I used the sleeve of my coat to wipe the tears and snot from my face. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself.

It was Carlisle's turn to speak now, his voice much lower than mine had been, calmer, almost mesmerizing. "I have so many questions for you, so much I want to learn, to find out, but there's no rush" His eyes were kind, looking at me. "You may not realize how long you've been with us, it's been close to three months, but we are already thinking of you as family." He let the words sink in. "I think it's important for you to work on, well you, work on yourself, to figure out what brought you here, where you came from, and to face the past" he paused again, "but you don't have to force it. You don't need to feel like you need to answer all of our questions about you right this second, it's ok to move slowly, to let it just naturally work it's way to the surface."

I looked at Carlisle, I started crying, I was so relieved. I would have wrapped him in a hug if all my layers had allowed. Instead I leaned against him, he wrapped his arm around me and just held me as I was racked again by sobs. Not of terror this time, but relief, gratitude, and something else, an emotion I couldn't identify yet.

He waited till my cries subsided, waiting for me to speak first, "Can you tell me about your coven?" I had so many questions, his group was the most unique I'd ever known about.

"My family," Carlisle corrected, looking down at me, "we're all family." I brought my legs up, lying against Carlisle; letting his words wash over me as he spoke. I smiled, realizing the emotion I couldn't identify, but hearing him speak I realized what it was. It was love. I could hear it in his voice, whether he was talking about Edward, Rosalie, Esme, or Emmett, all of which he had a hand in creating, or Jasper and Alice who were adopted. I could hear the love when he talked about Bella and Nessie too. I felt warmth spread over me, maybe he was right, maybe there could be a place for me here too.

I suddenly shivered, I saw Carlisle lift his head, almost like he was looking at someone, and then look back down at me. "It's getting late, Esme is probably getting ready to send out searchers for us" he sat me up, "it was good to talk, but don't think you have to, we can move at whatever pace you want."

I looked at him, I could see in his face that he meant it; no one was going to force anything out of me here. On the way back I realized he never answered me, "Are you going to tell me who found me?" I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, seeing a strange look pass over his face, almost to quickly to be seen.

"Yes, I won't ever keep anything from you, I'll be honest with all your questions, but I think that might be something better answered later" He looked over at me, "I'm not trying to be evasive on purpose, I just don't know if you're ready for the answer yet."

I could see the house coming into view ahead of us, I didn't want to bring this conversation in the house with us, and I didn't want to do anything that would possibly upset Esme. She may have been a vampire, but there was vulnerability about her, I felt the need to protect her. I paused in my walk, "I trust you, just promise me that you'll tell me soon, whoever it was, I need to thank them."

"Welcome home" Esme's warm voice greeted us as we walked in the door, "I was hoping you would be back soon" she took a step back, the table in the kitchen set for two. "Nessie's coming up for dinner, I thought maybe you would like to meet her."

I was fumbling with all my layers, trying to take off Emmett's boots without falling over. I grinned at Esme, "that would be great, I've been looking forward to meeting her" I looked around, 'is she here yet" I let my gaze stare out the windows.

"Not yet, I called her, she said she was just saying goodbye to Jaco.." suddenly her voice trailed off, I look of panic in her eyes, I saw her look up at Carlisle, a question on her face.

I could tell she had let something slip that she hadn't intended, but I wasn't sure what it was. I knew from overhearing different conversations, and just talking to everyone that Nessie had friends, human friends as far as I knew. "Oh is that his name? Jacob?" I looked between her and Carlisle, "I've just always heard everyone refer to him as "her friend" I didn't know his name yet."

I saw another look exchanged between the two of them, and a look of relief of Esme's face, "yeah, Jacob is a really good friend of hers, I'm sure you'll eventually meet him."

I could feel the hotness still sticking to me from all the layers Esme had insisted that I wear, "Do you think I have time to grab a quick shower before she gets here?"

Esme nodded to me, as I walked down the hall I could hear the low voices of she and Carlisle, I'm sure talking about he and Is earlier conversations.

The rest of the house was oddly silent; I briefly wondered where everyone was, but realizing as I made my way up the stairs that they all probably have things to do, obligations to meet. I went into my room, wondering what I was going to do for clothes again. I was starting to feel a little bad, like I was taking advantage of their hospitality, when I saw a box sitting on my bed. I opened the card, even before I saw the name on the bottom; I thought it had to have come from Alice:

Dawn,

Just a few things to tide you over until you decide you're ready for a day of shopping. I hope you enjoy them. Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and I decided that since you were feeling better you might enjoy some time alone, getting used to everything.

We'll be home in a few days. If you need anything Esme and Carlisle know how to reach us.

Alice

I took the lid off the box, wondering what I was going to find. Relief flooded through me, nothing too crazy. A couple of pairs of pajamas, some under things, socks, jeans, and some shirts, all of them long sleeved. I smiled. At that moment I wished Alice were there, so I could thank her, and hug her. I smelled something them, at the bottom of the box Alice had tucked in a bottle of the shampoo I loved so much.

I gathered the soap and pajamas, time for a shower, then my meeting with Nessie.

I wondered about Nessie, I was curious about where she fit in to the family. Edward and Bella were her parents, but she was a half-breed. I wondered if she had been adopted too, or if Edward or Bella had done something to her human parent to create her. I shivered at that thought, despite the hot water raining down on me. I thought about Edward and Bella, they seemed so close, one rarely without the other. I also realized they were the only ones who didn't live in the big house with everyone else. I wondered why that was.

I heard a knock at the door, "Dawn, no need to rush, but wanted to let you know that Nessie and her family are here."

"Thanks!" I quickly rinsed off, barely drying myself before yanking my clothes on. I wiped the mirror, pulling a brush through my hair, thankful once again that Alice had cut it for me. I had to take a deep calming breath before opening the door. I was so excited to meet someone more like myself; all I wanted to do was race down the steps. I started down the steps, counting to myself so I wouldn't run. As I neared the bottom I realized Edward was watching me. I looked at him, laughing when I remembered that he could read thoughts. "Just trying to be normal" I shrugged, I guess it didn't matter too much if he knew I was looking forward to meeting her.

"Dawn," It was Bella's turn to speak, "This is our daughter, Nessie" I looked over, expecting to see a child, but there instead stood a girl, not much younger than I was. She was beautiful, her skin so smooth almost as pale as her mother, with the hint of the same sparkle, but with a touch of color as well. She looked over at me, smiling.

"I've heard so much about you, you have no idea" I could hear the laughter in her voice, making me feel completely at ease. She walked toward me, stopping in front of me, wrapping me in a hug, "this is going to be great, welcome to the family."

I was speechless, but so happy. I reached out, hugging her back. I saw everyone out of the corner of my eye, all with surprised faces, but I'm sure none were as shocked as me by my reaction. I had hugged her without thinking, without feeling the need to pull back, without pulling away in an effect to protect someone from me, or to protect myself from them.

"Alright girls, dinner is ready, I'm not sure what it is." Edward made a face, pausing, "but it smells wonderful."

Nessie and I both laughed, both of well aware that regular food was not something that would smell wonderful to him. We pulled apart, her leading the way to the kitchen. "My gram can really cook, but believe it or not everyone says my dad does it best" Nessie spoke to me in conspiratal tones, her eyes laughing at Edward. She sat down, she wiggled her eyebrows, looking at me, "so, you're not a halfer like me, but not completely human either." It wasn't a question, more a statement of fact.

"Nessie!" I heard Bella's voice, almost aghast when Nessie asked. "That is a very rude question to ask."

I couldn't help myself, I started giggling. Hearing Edward and Bella talking to and treating Nessie like a real kid, it was just the funniest sounding, craziest thing that I had heard since being in the house. Just how normal it was with all the non-normal, supernatural stuff that went on. I looked at Nessie, which was a mistake. She and I both howled with laughter, I hold to wrap my arms around myself when I saw all the looks we were getting from the adults in the room. That just made it worse. I bit down on my bottom lip, trying not to look at Nessie, my laughter fading into hiccups. I tried to apologize, but when I looked at Esme, the look on her face, a mix of disbelief, amusement, and confusion I couldn't help it, I was laughing again. I was sure they were thinking that I had snapped, that it had all finally become too much for and I had lost my mind.

I finally pulled myself together, bringing my eyes to Nessie, both of us grinning. I tried to apologize again, "Bella, Esme" I looked at Carlisle and Edward, "I'm sorry, I just, I'm sorry, I couldn't help it" I knew if I tried to explain, that it was the complete and utter normalcy of the exchange, with the setting of everything being so abnormal they wouldn't understand.

"It's ok, I'll be good now," I heard Nessie assure her parents, "really, we'll be good." She grinned at me, when she said 'we', letting me know she saw us in this together.

I heard them leave the kitchen, their voices barely registering in volume as they walked away. Nessie's eyes danced, she was so full of life, so full of energy. I immediately liked her and felt a closeness with her.

Over dinner Nessie gave me the quick overview of her life. I couldn't believe that Bella had been pregnant with her in her human form. That was just unbelievable to me. Esme came into the kitchen as we were finishing up, I had started to run the dishwater, but Esme wouldn't hear of me helping her clean up. "Ness, why don't you give Dawn the grand tour, I don't know that she's seen the whole house yet."

"How long have you been here? How long have you been awake? And you haven't explored yet?" Her voice was disbelieving, she grabbed me by the hand, "let me show you!"

Nessie's enthusiasm was contagious. She hurried through the downstairs rooms, running up the stairs with me. "This is my grandpa's study," she pointed to the closed door to my room, she stopped, looking at me, "but I guess you're using it now, it's the easiest room to turn into a clinic room" she grinned like she had just gotten an idea, "you should ask to move into my dads old room" she ran down the hall and up a handful of stairs. She flung open a door to one of the largest bedrooms I had ever seen. A huge bed in the center, a wall of windows, and every inch of wall space filled with books and music. If I hadn't already seen Alice's room it would have been the largest bedroom I had ever seen.

"No, no, I like where I am just fine," I was a little overwhelmed, both with Nessie's exuberance, and just how incredible everything about the Cullens was. I turned, ready to see the rest of the tour, but I could see Nessie climbing onto the bed. She flopped back, turning onto her side, propping her head on her hand.

"So, are you going to answer me now?" She had a giant smile on her face, "what are you?"

I didn't know how to respond at first, something about her was refreshing, the ease at which she asked, the way she seemed to really want to know, and unlike the others I knew she wasn't tempering her questions with niceties. I jumped up on the bed with her, sitting with my legs curled under me, "I'm human."

She gave me a look, it was a look I knew I was going to be seeing a lot of, "and?"

"And what? I'm human, that's it."

She shook her head at me, "you might say that, you might even want to believe it, but we both know there's more to it than that."

I knew she was right, but how could I explain what I was when I didn't even understand it. So I just shrugged, "yeah, there's more to it than that, really when it comes to people like us are there any simple, easy answers. Your grandpa did some tests when got here, he wasn't sure what to label me as," I looked around, "whatever it is, I'm here' I stretched out my arms. She just laughed.

We were together for a while, talking, laughing, mostly it was her telling me stories, things she had done with her family, places she had visited. I was in awe of some of it, I mean really, the family had their own island. I laughed more when she started talking about Jacob the things they had done together, and how much she liked hanging out with his friends. Before she could tell me a whole lot about him, Bella appeared in the door, "Nessie, I think it's time to head home, it's getting late, almost time for bed."

I popped my head up from the pillow it was resting on, "I'm sorry," I apologized, "I didn't mean to keep her up here so long, we just lost track of time" I didn't want Bella to think that I had meant to keep Nessie awake and up here for that length of time, it had just been so easy to forget about sleep when I was feeling so relaxed, so at ease. It had been a long time, I couldn't even remember how long, since I had felt so calm.

"It's ok, I know you two were just talking, I'm sure it's nice for the both of you to have someone other than us to talk to." She looked at Nessie, "but come along, you can come back over in the morning."

I walked out with them, turning off the light as I went. Listening to everyone saying his or her goodnights in the living room. I was surprised when after hugging Esme and Carlisle, Nessie came over and hugged me too. I hugged back, surprising myself again at how at ease I felt here.

"I think I'm going to go to bed too," I looked over at Carlisle and Esme after Nessie and her family left, "see you in the morning."

Back upstairs I went in to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I saw Esme in the reflection, standing in the doorway to my bedroom. She glanced over her shoulder at me, "she's right, you know, we should move you into Edwards old room, let Carlisle have his office back."

I cringed, how easily I had forgotten how good their hearing was, they were so good at behaving humanly, that sometimes it was easy to ignore that they weren't. I quickly reviewed everything Nessie and I had talked about, trying to remember if I had said anything to embarrass myself. When I decided that I hadn't I put my brush away, coming into the bedroom.

"I'm not sure," I started, looking away from her face, "I'm not sure how long I'm staying, if that will really be necessary."

Esme sat on the bed next to me, putting her arm around me, "I thought you knew, you understood, this is your home now, here, with us."

I wrapped my arm around her waist, hugging her granite figure. My voice thick with emotion, "Thank you, I was hoping, but I wasn't sure." She reached over, hesitantly wiping a tear from my cheek, "I knew you weren't sending my back, would turn me over to the wolves to have them try to kill me again, but I wasn't sure you'd want to keep me here."

"Shh, shh" Esme pulled the blankets back, "this is home now, for as long as you want to be with us."

I slid under the sheets, reaching up and pulling Esme into a full hug. I whispered into her hair, "Thank you"

She laid me back down, kissing my forehead, 'go to sleep now" she smiled, "Sweet dreams."

I lay awake for a while, my mind unable to slow, there was so much to think about. I kept tossing and turning in bed, finally giving up. I walked over to the window, pulling back the curtains, my eyes drawn down and to the woods. I opened the window, just a crack, hoping the cool night air might clear my head, let me sleep. I could barely discern the faint outdoor scent coming in. I took a deep breath in, suddenly feeling the heady scent of something else, the wonderful aroma of the woods and the sea. I looked as far away as I could, I knew the Cullens didn't live that far from the water, but far enough that I didn't think I would be able to smell it. Something about that mix calmed me, rather than go back to bed, I took the comforter, wrapping around myself on the window bench. My head resting on the glass, my eyes still focusing on the outside. I let the calm wash over me, not caring what it was, just glad my mind was at ease.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

"Jake? What are you doing out here?"

"I told Paul that I'd take his shift tonight, figured you might like some company. Especially since you ended up spending last night with Emmett and Edward."

I could hear the mocking, even in his thoughts, but I was glad he was there. "So, how's Nessie?"

"Great, she's on her way over to the main house, she's meeting Dawn tonight."

"Already?" I was sure that meeting would take some time; Edward and Bella were extremely protective of her. I hoped that if they were letting them meet that meant things were going well.

"I think Bella is nervous, but Edward seems to think it's fine, and he should know."

We sat in the silence, both of us lost to our own thoughts. I could hear that Jacob was thinking of Nessie, meanwhile I let my mind wander, trying to picture what it would be like when Dawn and I met for the first time. Well the first time she would be aware of me. I couldn't help but think of how I acted when I found her, I was still mentally berating myself, I hadn't been unkind to her, but I wasn't nice either. I just hoped that I would eventually be able to make it up to her.

My body tensed, "Relax, it's just Nessie and her parents going to the house" I could feel Jake sitting up taller, creeping forward a bit to watch Nessie as she cut through the path to her grandparents. I watched too, seeing Edward and Bella look in our direction. Edward waved his hand, acknowledging out presence out there.

I crept closer, keeping pace with Jake. Glad that it was a moonless night, but still not wanting to risk getting too close. We stopped at the tree line, clearly able to see in the kitchen windows, but sure that regular eyes wouldn't be able to detect us.

It wasn't long before we could see Dawn and Nessie sitting at the table, their bodies rocking back and forth, "What is going on in there, what are they doing?"

"Listen, I think they're laughing." And they were, the sound was like music to my ears. I felt the tightness lessen from my chest; her laughing had to be a good sign, a sign that she was healing. I couldn't stop the smile, hearing her happy made me happy. I know that I gave the other guys a hard time when I heard their mushy thoughts, and saw them act like love-sick school boys around their imprints, but I finally understood, not just from the outside, but what it meant that you were so completely devoted to someone.

"Alright, no need to start composing love sonnets over there." Jake interrupted my musings.

"But I was thinking of a Haiku;

Dawn sits with Nessie,

Their laughter fills the night air,

The wolves sleep alone.

I heard the snort; it's hard to laugh when you're in wolf form. "Em, what has this chick done to your mind? A haiku? I thought poetry was supposed to rhyme?"

"Some of us are just more cultured than others."

"You two are going to make me vomit if you don't stop." Leah's thoughts mixing in with ours.

"Just wait, when you imprint you'll know what it's like."

"Like that's going to happen." I could hear the bitterness in her voice.

"Did you see that?"

"Yeah, I think they went upstairs."

Jacob and I got up; trotting around the corner of the house, looking up when we saw a light flick on, "check out those windows, they're huge."

"Yeah, but now I can keep a closer eye on her."

"You guys sounds like peeping toms." I could hear the distain in Leah's voice again.

Jacob answered, "we're not peeping, just keeping an eye on them to make sure they don't get in any trouble, if a pillow fight just happened to break out it would be rude not to watch, you know to make sure neither one of them gets hurts."

I could feel the disgust from Leah, but I had to agree with Jake, we were just being prudent.

"Pudent? Didn't realize you paid attention in school." Jake jerked his head up, "look, someone picked up a pillow."

No pillow fight between them, and it was weird, seeing them through the window was like watching a TV show, but without the volume turned on. I lay down, resting my head on my paws, I loved seeing Dawn like this, relaxed, calm, happy. It was great to finally see her laughing, smiling after all she had been though.

We watched for a while, a comfortable silence between us. I've known Jake, well I don't have memories of not knowing Jake, so for a long time. All the time we spent together, growing up, now we were in the pack, and we even lived together, well with Quil and Jared too. I saw a shadow go across the window, someone walked into the bedroom. I sat up; relaxing when I saw it was only Bella. Must be time for Nessie to leave, I watched them get up, walking out of the room, my eyes fixed on Dawn until I couldn't see her and the light flicked off.

I looked over at Jake, his head down and his eyes closed, "Nope not asleep, just resting my eyes."

I could see movement downstairs, but didn't want to move myself until I knew where in the house she was going to next. I heard the back door opening, then the voices of Nessie and her parents.

"It ok if I walk Nessie home?" I knew Jacob's thought wasn't for me it was for Edward.

"Yes, that would be fine." He paused, "I could hear you in there, and we're going to have to talk about pillow fighting."

I felt Jacob phase, I did too. It was so much easy to talk when you could use words. Jake and I both came around the corner. A giant grin spreading across his face when he saw Ness. He reached up, scratching his head, "Sorry Edward, I didn't mean it in a bad way, was just illustrating a point."

I knew Edward wasn't really angry, probably not even slightly upset, he just liked to remind Jake that even if he was imprinted to Ness, Edward was still her dad, and he could hear his thoughts. At least that wasn't something I would have worry about with Dawn.

"Don't be so sure of that." I heard Edward responding to my thoughts, "she's practically family, especially to Esme and Carlisle." I heard him tell Bella what I had been thinking.

"Embry, I don't know, Edward and I are probably easier to deal with then them two, guess you'll eventually get to decide for yourself." Bella laughed. "Come on Renesmee, time for you to go to bed." I watched Jake fall into step next to Ness, the three of them walking back to Edwards cottage.

Edward sat on the porch steps, looking at me, "So is this going to become your nightly ritual? Staying under her window all night long?"

I looked away, a flush creeping over my face. I wasn't a fan of the vampires, not the way Jake and even Seth were, but there were times, especially lately, that they didn't seem so bad. I saw a light turn on in Dawn's room; I raised my head back, unable to stop myself from trying to see her. I knew I didn't need to answer his question, he could hear it plainly in my thoughts, I would be there for her until I knew she didn't need my protection, however long that ended up being was still an unknown.

"What is she doing?" I saw the curtains move, could hear the window opening above us. Edward and I slipping back to where the yard met up with the woods, not wanting to risk that she might somehow overhear or see us.

Edwards face was calm, a smile slowly spreading on his lips. "She's relaxed, she doesn't know that's what it is yet, but she can pick out your scent."

I stood there, too stunned to speak, watching her move away from the window, my eyes never leaving where she had stood. I watched her come back over, the outline of her unclear, realizing that she must be wrapped in something, her gaze never leaving me, even as I watched her watch me.

I could hear Jake making his way over the where we were. "Can she see us?" His eyes flicked towards Dawn; even in the darkness he too could see her sitting at the window, her head resting on the glass, her gaze on me.

Edward assured us her thoughts weren't of seeing me, he laughed, "Esme told her that she could have my old bedroom, she's feeling a little overwhelmed by the generosity."

Looking at Jacob, "She also thinking of Renesmee, she really liked her."

After she fell asleep Jake and I told Edward he didn't need to stay with us, that we were sure Bella was waiting at home for him. Jake and I phased back; it was just more comfortable for spending the night in the woods. In a while I could hear Jakes breathing get deeper, his thoughts less in my mind. I knew he was sleeping. I just sat, watching her sleep, smiling as I saw Esme come in and out of her room checking her throughout the night, grateful she had someone there, even if it wasn't me, at least not yet.

I was aware of Leah going off duty in the early morning hours, hearing Jared, Seth, and Noah start their shifts. After a quick check in, letting them know that everything was so far quiet at the Cullens I went back to watching. I could see the sky fading to purple at the horizon, morning was coming. It hit me, this was the first night since I had found her that she hadn't screamed, she had slept through the night. As angry as I had been at Carlisle for yesterday, as difficult as I knew it had been for her, I knew it had been worth it, Carlisle and Sam had both been right.

I watched as the sun made it's way over the mountains, the light fading from purple to red and pinks, then finally to daylight. I saw the curtains moving again, she was awake. With the movement, and the open window her scent filled my lungs. I breathed deep, being so close, and so far away was a sweet torture. The curtains fell back and I could tell she had left.

I nudged Jake awake, "Come on bro, let's go home."


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

The days fell away, then it was weeks. Between Esme deciding that Edwards room needed to be remodeled and redecorated before I took up residence there, spending time with Nessie, my almost daily walks with Carlisle, or sometimes with someone else, but never alone, and allowing myself to be talked into a shopping trip by Alice I realized that spring was gone, summer was here.

I was on my usual spot on the back porch, being outside, breathing in the fresh air, it felt like heaven to me. I had a book in my hands, but really I was waiting for Ness to come skipping down the path between her house and mine. I realized that I really did think of the Cullen house as mine, as my home.

I was impatient for Nessie to get there, before she had left last night she told me she would tell me all about her gift today. I knew she had one, just like she knew I did. We had talked about our gifts, but neither had seen the others in action. I knew with my gift that I hoped it would never be needed, that I would never have to use it again, but I was so curious about hers. I hoped Edward wasn't with her, I didn't need him reading my thoughts this morning, already Alice could tell we were up to something, but I don't think she knew exactly what yet. I hadn't fully decided if I was going to ask Ness to show me her gift, I guess once I decided that Alice would know.

I could see Nessie's hair shining in the sun, I didn't want to wait for her to get to the house, too excited to wait any longer. I opened up the backdoor, sticking my head in I yelled out to Esme that I would be back; I was going for a walk with Ness. I laughed to myself, knowing that I didn't need to yell anything here, I could have whispered and she still would have heard me.

Nessie looked up at me and smiled, "you ready?"

We talked, laughing as we walked. I may have loved the all the Cullens, but Nessie, I loved her too of course, but with her it was different, she was also my friend, and in some ways more like a sister to me.

I saw her eyes glance around, I stopped, but I didn't hear or see anything. I knew being half vampire she could often see and hear things that I couldn't, which came in handy when we were together and talking, sharing secrets. Carlisle and Jasper had been working with me, trying to help me develop my gift. I may have convinced myself that I was fully human, but I knew no one else believed it. Not just because of the tests Carlisle had ran, everyone agreed that they could tell by my scent. For now though, they were okay allowing me to use the denial as a safety blanket. I had healed a lot from when I first arrived, my nightmares all but gone.

"That looks like a good spot," Ness indicated a fallen tree, it looked like a bench, how perfectly it had fallen over. "I decided it would just be easier to show you, rather than have to explain." Nessie was talking quickly, her eyes darting around. She looked at me, "Are you ready, before Alice or my dad gets here?"

I nodded my head, feeling Nessie put her warm, soft hands on either side of my face. I felt my body stiffen at first, then I was calm, I could see what she was thinking. Images of her and I together, of a slumber party we had with her mom, Alice, and how we even talked Rosalie into joining us. Nessie pulled her hands away, looking at me. "That was amazing!" I was in disbelief. I stuttered, trying to find words, "Can you do that again?" Ness put her hands back on me, a smile spreading over her face, her memory of our trip to Port Angeles filling my mind. I could see how I looked that day, Nessie sitting next to me, laughing as I responding to Alice's crazy driving, the laughter in Alice and Bella's eyes as they looked at me.

Nessie sat back, "awesome isn't it?" She had a grin plastered over her happy face.

I sat back, too stunned for words. I momentarily cursed fate, that all my gift could do was bring me pain, when hers brought such joy.

I saw Nessie's head flip around, her voice dropping to a conspirational tone, "if you promise not to freak out, I'll show you something else,"

I looked at her carefully, seeing nothing in her eyes or face that would make me believe that she was going to do anything that would hurt me, just a look like she knew she was going to be in trouble when she got home. I nodded my consent, she gave one more good glance around, making sure none of her family was going to intervene before putting her hands on me.

I sucked in a deep breath, my face, neck, and back beading with sweat, I could feel Nessie telling me to focus, to take a deep breath, that it was ok. I could see a dark haired, tall, strong, bronze man in my mind. I looked into Nessie's eyes, understanding that this was Jacob; I could feel her love for him, and equally his devotion to her. She showed me her first memory of him, the way time seemed to have stopped for both of them when their eyes locked. I could feel my heart pick up speed, I thought for sure they would hear the thudding at the house. I wanted to pull away; her memories were so vivid, so pure, and so full of love it was almost heartbreaking, almost too much for me to bear. Nessie dropped her hands.

I gulped in air, I hadn't' realized I had been holding my breath. "He's a shifter, is that why I haven't been able to meet him yet?" She had only shown him to me in his human form, but I could tell there was more to him, even if I couldn't see it, I still knew.

"I didn't show you that part." Nessie looked at me, her voice caught, "Dawn, what's wrong, I'm sorry" her words were spilling out fast now, "please, don't cry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted you to see him, and others like him, the way I do." I raised my hand, putting it on her arm.

Her panic flowed into me, "Ness, I'm not scared, I've just never felt anything like that before, it's like the two of you are two halves of the same whole." I lowered my hand when her panic was gone.

Nessie looked at me, the realization of what I had done evident in her eyes. "I guess now I know," she wrapped me in a hug, "I've been wanting to ask about your gift, how it works, but I was afraid to bring it up."

"How much trouble are we going to be in when we get back?" I laughed, breaking the mood. "Wondering if they'll send us to our rooms."

"Or maybe take away the TV." We both laughed, getting up and walking back towards home, "make us stand in the corner!"

"No, no, I got it, we'll have to do dishes for a week." We both howled with laugher as we stumbled into the yard, knowing that even if they may not have liked what we did, we weren't going to be disciplined for it, Alice had to have known what we were going to do, if they hadn't wanted us to be together they would have kept us apart. We looked over, seeing Edward standing on the porch, waiting for us. He was struggling with trying to look parental, but a smiling tugging at the corner of his mouth as he watched us.

"And what have you two girls been up to this morning?" The question wasn't needed; we both knew he had probably been keeping tabs on our thoughts since we left. "Girls, why don't you come inside, we can all talk there."

Nessie looked over at me, shrugging, she didn't know what was going on either. We silently followed Edward to the living room; the entire family was sitting there, waiting for us. I saw an empty seat next to Esme, but pulled Ness down beside me on an oversized chair. I looked from face to face, I didn't think we were going to get in trouble, but maybe we were wrong.

Carlisle spoke first, "We are so happy that you two are friends, that you've gotten so close. We worry about you," he looked at the both of us, "Taking off together, that could be dangerous. If not for Alice we would have had to gone looking for you."

I could feel Nessie hang her head beside me, my hand reaching for hers, absorbing the guilt I knew she felt. "We're sorry, I'm sorry." I looked at everyone, "We'll be careful, we ARE careful. We won't do it again."

"Good." I saw Edward make a face, "and I think you're right, doing the dishes, by hand, is a good start." Bella looked at Edward, I saw his lips move, but didn't hear what he said, only that she nodded and was smiling now too.

The mood broken I felt Nessie take her hand from mine, Emmett saw the motion. He looked over, winking at me. I knew even though he knew what I had done he wouldn't say anything. He must have thought it, I saw Edward's eyes flick to where Nessie and I'd hand had been seconds before.

"Well that was fun." I could hear the sarcasm in Ness's voice as we walked in the kitchen. She reached over, flipping the radio on as we walked passed. "I love this song!" Ness was back to her usual sunny self, she grabbed my hand, twirling me around the kitchen, both of us laughing, doing our own dances. She grabbed the spoon from my cereal bowl, using it as a microphone. I turned the water on, filling the sink with water and letting the soap get foamy. I grinned, taking a pile of suds in my hands I tossed them at her. She turned to me, a glint in her eyes, "This means war!" Suds began to fly as we both attempted to cover the other with the bubbles.

We froze, hearing Rosalie clearing her throat in the doorway. Nessie laid her hand flat in front of her lips, blowing bubbles at her. She was the only one who could get away with something like that, her bond with Rosalie almost as strong as her bond with her parents. "What do you think you two are doing in here?" She tried to sound stern, authorative, but she was failing.

"Dishes." I squeaked the word out; Nessie started laughing again beside me. Rosalie threw her hands up in the air, rolling her eyes at us, she told us to clean up, that a storm was coming, it looked like it was going to be a great day to see Seattle.

Nessie and I shrugged at each other; I guess with summer here you had to take advantage of the rainy days when you could. At least with Rosalie coming with us that meant we couldn't take Alice's car. I breathed a sigh of relief, I knew she was a great driver, with decades of experiences and the reflexes of a vamp, but it still made my stomach a little queasy to be in the car when Alice was driving.

My bowl, spoon, and a cup the only dishes in the kitchen were quickly washed, dried, and put away we got ready to leave.

Esme came into my room after I showered and was getting dressed. Walking out of the bathroom I could scarcely believe this was the same room Nessie had shown me more than a month ago. Esme was a fantastic decorator, gone were all the dark woods, the artwork from the walls, replaced with beautiful warm tones of oak, the bedding replaced with a soft, comfortable down comforter. Even in the summer I still felt a chill at night. The artwork replaced with pictures of my own. I wasn't a great artist, but I tried. Carlisle had given me a camera, whenever we went out walking I had a habit of finding something, or seeing something that was just breathtaking, he got me to camera to capture everything that I loved about the outdoors. Esme had framed some of those pictures as well.

I sat on my bed, crossing my legs in front of my, under my robe. Esme would often come to my room, talk to me, really I think she did it more for her sake, to assure herself that I was happy there, that I was still improving, that I was ok. It made me love her all that much more. I was really beginning to see why everyone saw her as "mom" I may not have called her that, but that's how I thought of her. After assuring her that I was no worse for wear after my morning with Ness she walked towards the door, pausing for a brief second to tell me that Alice was advising layers. It was raining now, but by nightfall the rain would stop and it would be humid in the city.

I went to my closet, my mind elsewhere as I dressed. I couldn't stop thinking about what Ness had showed me, her vision of Jacob, there was just something so familiar about him, like I had seen him, or met him somewhere. It was maddening, I grabbed at my clothes, pulling them on roughly, it was right there, right on the tip on my tongue. I grabbed a brush for my hair, my frustration coming out as I yanked at the knots that had formed from being wrapped in the towel to long.

I glanced at the clock, realizing Alice was going to coming looking for me if didn't hurry. I pushed aside thoughts of Nessie and her shifter Jacob, giving my hair one last go over with a brush before going downstairs.

I sat on the couch with Emmett; we were still waiting on Ness. I watched him watching the game on TV, he was an animated as ever as he watched, but I no longer jumped every time he moved. There was a certain teddy bear like quality about him. I could understand what drew Rosalie to him. He suddenly turned, looking at me looking at him. 'You like what you see?" I saw him grinning as he flexed his arm at me.

I groaned at his display, "I was just thinking, maybe he's a bear." What. Wait, what had I just said? I realized I was still thinking about Nessie's shape-shifter. I saw Em raise an eyebrow at me; I didn't need to be a mind reader to know that he was thinking I had gone off the deep end.

"Dawn, what are you talking about?" He questioned me.

I swallowed; trying to think of something to say that wasn't going to make me sound like a lunatic, some excuse. I finally settled on the truth, I had an idea; maybe I could get Emmett to tell me about the shifters. I'd been curious about them every since finding out they had been consulted by Carlisle when I was found.

I exhaled slowly, "Ness let me see her boyfriend, she didn't tell me, but I know, I know he's a shifter. She wouldn't tell me what he shifts to, I was thinking, with his size, his stance, maybe he's a bear?"

I saw the realization come over Emmett's face; he shook his head, rolling his eyes. He laughed looking at Rosalie and Jasper. "Did you guys hear that, she thinks Jake is a bear." Emmett roared with laughter, I think if it had been possible for him tears would have rolled down his cheeks.

I was indignant, crossing my arms across my chest, "well, nobody tells me anything, what am I supposed to think?" I knew I was pouting; I just couldn't stop myself, not wanting to. Maybe one of them would take pity on me I thought, and tell me. I looked up, but I knew looking at the amusement of Jasper and Emmett's faces that they wouldn't tell, and Rosalie, it wasn't amusement on her face, more like distain.

She spoke, "No, he's not a bear" I saw her lips curl, a small smile, "he's a dog, a smelly mutt."

I heard Carlisle come in, he gave Rosalie a hard look, and she looked away. I saw her and Carlisle have a quick verbal exchange, but my ears weren't able to pick up their words.

Alice and Nessie choose that moment to walk in, Esme and Bella with them. I saw Alice's eyes go to jasper, a question in them. Esme looking at me suddenly decided to usher Nessie, and I to the garage. I could hear everyone starting to talk at once as we were leaving the room, even if I still couldn't make out the words. I was guessing that Rosalie had said something she shouldn't have.

"Gram, are we taking your car?" Nessie's voice pulled me out of my attempted eavesdropping. I looked over, seeing Esme nod her head. Esme's 'car' as Nessie called it was a larger version of Edwards. I chuckled, thinking it looked like the mutant love child of Edwards's car and Emmett's Jeep. It wasn't so much a car as a Volvo SUV. Esme had recently traded her Mercedes for it, affectionately calling it her 'family car.' I liked it, it was really comfortable, there was plenty of room to stretch out, and it had the same dark tinted windows that all the Cullens had.

I saw Bella and Alice glide out to the garage as Nessie and I were climbing in the backseat. They exchanged a look with Esme, I saw her shake her head slightly, but once they were in the SUV with us whatever it was had already passed.

Alice looked at us in the backseat, "So I think you two could use some summer clothes" I saw her close her eyes, I knew she was trying to envision something, but all I wanted her to do was put her eyes back on the road. My hand gripped the seat between Nessie and I. I saw Nessie notice; she knew how much Alice's driving filled me with nervousness. Alice finally opened her eyes, looking ahead to the road now, she nodded, "maybe a sundress or two for ness, and you're definitely going to need a swimsuit soon.' I saw Bella turn to look at Alice, but Alice raised her hand, "Don't worry, it's a one piece, with board shorts even, I doubt my brother would let her out with Jacob in anything less."

Bella looked back at us, "Renesmee, is there something you need to ask? Something I haven't been told about yet?"

I saw Ness shoot a dirty look at the back of Alice's head; sometime having an aunt who could see the future must be a pain. Ness looked over at me, "Well Jake did invite me to the beach, the p…" she stopped herself, "the guys are having a bonfire for Independence Day, a big picnic for everyone and their," she paused again, "and their friends."

I scrunched my brow, looking at her, I knew she wasn't saying everything; I knew her mom must have known it too, but Bella didn't say press her for more details. "Oh, sounds like fun, you did plan on asking for permission before going, right?" I saw the smile.

"Yeah, I just didn't want to bring it up," I saw her glance at me meaningfully.

"Ness, I don't mind, go, have fun." I thought Ness was concerned that I wasn't included in with her group of friends. "Independence Day isn't really my holiday," I shrugged my shoulders at her, "I've never celebrated one so it's not like I'm going to care if I miss it."

Esme looked at me, "You've never celebrated the Fourth of July?"

I suddenly felt self conscience, I looked at everyone. "No, wherever it is that I'm from we must not have had that, or I wasn't aware if we did. Besides it's an American holiday, I'm pretty sure I'm not from here." I looked down, taking a steadying breath; I hated these moments, when it was suddenly so clear that as much as I wanted to be in this family, I really wasn't. I felt Esme reach back and lay her hand on my head, stroking my hair.

Alice broke the silence that had settled over us, "Nope, I think Dawn going to need a sundress too" I raised my head, looking at Alice looking at me in the rearview mirror, her eyes sparkling with a vision she wasn't sharing.

Alice pulled into the parking garage at the mall, "where to first?" She looked at all of us. My stomach growled in response.

Esme looked over at me, "Honey, you really need to tell us when you're hungry, you can't not eat when you're with us."

I looked over at Ness, hoping that she would be willing to eat with me. I knew she was able to eat regular food, and she did often enough, but I also knew the vampire side of her craved blood. I also knew given a choice she would choose the blood. I involuntarily shuddered, I knew the eating, well the drinking habits anyway of everyone I was with, but it really only bothered me when I let myself think about it.

We crossed the parking garage bridge to the mall, picking the first restaurant we came to. I walked in first, the hostess turned to me, asking how many in my party and for my last name. I thought for a second telling her there were five of us was easy, but when it came to my last name I was blank. Esme came up behind me, "Cullen" she told the woman, "our last name is Cullen."

We were seated quickly, I ordered quickly, knowing whatever I choose would be fine. Nessie kicked me under the table, grinning as she ordered Tartar. Esme, Bella, and Alice ordered water, I knew they wouldn't drink it; they were just being polite to our server. As soon as our server was out of hearing distance I looked at everyone, "Can I?" I saw in their eyes they weren't sure what I was asking.

Esme looked at me, "can you what honey? You know you can order whatever you want."

I shook my head they had misunderstood. I tried again. "A Cullen, can I be one too?" My voice came out squeaky, excited.

I saw Esme bring her hand to her mouth, she may have gasped. Bella sat beside her smiling. I saw Alice give me a knowing smile; she must have seen this coming. Nessie jumped out of her chair, running to my seat and throwing her arms around me, "We'll be like real sisters now!"

I looked at everyone, "Is that a yes?" I saw everyone smiling, shaking their heads yes. I hugged Nessie back before going around the table I hugged everyone. I sat back down with a stunned smile on my face. I couldn't believe it; I really did have a family.

After dinner I was on such an emotional high I wasn't bothered by the amount of stores Alice led me in and out of, how many different outfits she had me try on. I even gave in, letting her put Nessie and I in coordinating dresses. Nessie's a beautiful shade of blue, complimenting her fair coloring. I even loved the detail to the straps, the way it hugged her just right, perfectly acceptable to a five year old who looked sixteen. I was surprised by the one Alice handed me, it had the same fabric pattern, but in a shade of green, what I loved was the top, where Nessie's had skinny straps that rose over her shoulders, this one had sleeves, it covered my shoulders. I rubbed my arms, conscience of the scars, but Esme solved that, bringing over a lightly crochet sweater, thin enough for the summer, but enough to cover my arms. Nessie and I stood together in the mirror, I could see in all three sets of eyes looking at us that these would be coming home with us.

I saw Alice get a faraway look in her eyes again; she pulled Bella close to her, her lips at her ear. I saw Bella react with surprise, but smile. Before I could ask what they were conspiring about, Nessie hip checked me in the mirror. I caught her eye, "Dawn, we look good." I laughed; Esme standing behind us did too. I handed my dress, and the sweater, to Esme when I came out of the dressing room. My eyes darted around, looking for Alice and Bella. Of course they were nowhere to be seen. I let it pass, I knew even if I asked I wouldn't get a straight answer.

"Your first time in the big city, feel up to the 'Alice Tour'?"

I had to think, there was my first time being in Seattle, I looked over at Ness, she didn't look tired, and I knew no one else was either. "Sure, I'd love it."

Sitting in the back seat with Ness, she turned to me in a fake whisper, "Do you know what you just unleashed on us?" She laughed at Alice's play-hurt look, "with her driving it's all going to look like a blur anyway."

"Nonsense, besides I think we might be passing by a park Dawn would like." I saw a glint in Alice's eye, there was something she wasn't telling me, but I hope whatever it was would be answered when we got to the park

I may have gotten one of the fastest tours of Seattle, EVER. To say that Alice drives fast is to say that Emmett was kind of big. There was so much to see, I made a mental note to come back sometime, maybe during the day so I could take advantage of visiting some of the places I saw. I could see the Space Needle; something about it gave me a sense of deja vu. I could see Alice watching me, keeping her eyes on me as much as she did the road.

"Alice, I think the park is closed." Bella's voice broke into my lost thoughts. Alice pulled to the gate, putting the SUV in park.

I practically threw myself over the seat, landing on Esme, knowing when I hit her I would have a bruise tomorrow. I flung open the door taking a few steps my eyes frantic, I knew this place. I was sure of it. I looked around, trying to see something, something that would tell me where I was. I was close enough to see the water; I can't even begin to imagine what was going through their minds, something pulling me towards the coast. I scrambled over the fence, I heard Alice calm Esme, telling her that it was ok, Alice had seen me here. I saw lights dancing out on the water, cargo ships passing each other. My eyes focused on one of them, I felt my blood turn cold, and goose bumps break out over my body, every hair felt charged with electricity. I could feel everyone walking up behind me, Bella whispering to Nessie to stand behind her. I snapped my head around, anger flowing through Esme, Bella, Alice, and me all stopped dead in their tracks.

Esme was the one to approach me, gently laying her hand on my back, "what it is, what do you see."

I couldn't speak; I lifted my arm, pointing to a gray cargo ship. I felt my knees buckle, if Esme hadn't caught me I would have fell.

"Eesti, that's what that meant." I could hear Alice whisper behind me.

I sucked in deeply, gulping in air to calm down. I turned to look at Alice, realizing that everyone was looking to her.

Her voice faltered, "earlier today, on our way here I could see Dawn standing here, that word, 'Eesti', but I didn't' know what it meant, I thought if I could get Dawn here she would know what it was, what it meant. I didn't know she would do this. I didn't mean for it to hurt her." She took the few steps to me, holding me in a hug. "I'm so sorry, I thought bringing you here would help answer some questions," She whispered against my hair.

I pulled back; in her hug I felt the sincerity of her feelings. "It's ok, that ship, I've been on it, at least I think I have." I looked back over the water, "Eesti, it's Estonian. I think I might have lived there." I could feel my body starting to react to the previous rush of adrenaline, leaving me lightheaded. "Please Alice, can we just go home, I just want to go home." I turned to walk back the SUV, I saw Bella position herself between me and Ness, climbing into the backseat after her. I didn't care; I sat in Bella's unoccupied front seat. I could hear the Alice and Esme were trying to talk to me, ask me what was going on. I had to no answers for them, I didn't' even try. I was just lost in my own thoughts, staring out the window, watching the night fly by the window as Alice sped back to Forks.

I could feel something cold pressed up against me; I half opened my eyes, looking into the face of Carlisle who was lifting me from the SUV. I realized I must have fallen asleep on the drive back. "It's ok, I'm awake, I'll walk." He gently lowered me to my feet.

"The girls tell me you had an eventful evening." I knew he wasn't trying to pry, not really.

"Best and worst night of my life." I could see the concern on his face. I could feel myself starting to wake up, the nap having recharged me. I wanted to talk with him, I knew he'd understand, have some insight for me, and I knew no matter what I said he wouldn't judge me. My decision made, I asked if I could talk to him. He nodded, falling in step behind me as I walked into the house. I stepped into the kitchen, my gaze going to the window. Instead of walking towards the living room, where I had originally thought about going, or even his office, I turned, choosing instead to sit outside. Being outside helped to clear my head, the woodsy, ocean-y smell that I would occasionally whiff gave me a wonderfully calm, peaceful feeling. I only opened the door, then unceremoniously plopped myself down onto the steps. I slid over to one side, so Carlisle could sit with me. I could feel myself getting angry again, but I didn't want to lash out at him. I threw my head back, looking at him from the corner of my eye. "I'm sorry I ruined everyone's evening." I grimaced as I remembered the look on Bella's face. "I. . I, I don't know what happened, what came over me." I stopped, trying to form the right words in my mind. "There was a ship there, Carlisle, I think, no, I know I came here on that ship."

"How do you know, are you certain?" He looked thoughtful, looking at me.

"I recognized it, I remember stowing away on it, trying to escape." I stopped, letting the memories come, even the ones I didn't want to remember:

I remember the first man, he was inviting, he had a kind face, his smile was like none I had ever seen. I was at the market with my mum, I accidentally ran in to him. When he reached down to untangle me from himself he pulled his hands back, I remember that they were cold, as cold as yours. He reached down, laying his hand on my back. I was hit with a blinding pain, then I don't remember what happened. I could hear voices, not loud, not arguing, just voices when I came to. I think I was in a basement; it was cold, damp, and musty smelling. There was some light, some windows high above me. There was a chain around my ankle, tying me to the floor. I tried to make out the words, understand what I was hearing. I heard the first man tell the second man that I was useful, that I was a gift.

I didn't know what he meant, I didn't understand. I heard them fighting, someone screeching out in pain, the sounds of marble colliding. The door flung open, I saw him walking towards me, and I was too scared to scream. His face was cracked; there were silver circles on his chest. The other man, the one who found me told him to put his hands on me, to lay them on my head. I screamed until I had no voice left, I could feel acid in my veins, feel the crushing blows to my face. With his touch I was the one who was injured, I was the one in pain, he pulled his hands back, all of his injuries gone.

I put my head down, hunching my shoulders, letting the sobs come, the memories so intense it was like reliving the nightmare.

I don't know how long I was there, living in that dungeon, healing him, healing others like him, others that he had created to be hunters. I learned to fear the nights, especially the full moon. I knew my captor was tasked with fighting the children on the moon. He would come to me after the battles, pieces of him missing, their blood and spit still covering him. Werewolves. I hoped they would eventually kill him, like they had the new vampires he would create to help him fight, but they didn't. Sometimes I wouldn't pray for his death, I would pray for my own. Sometimes after he fought, after I healed I would feel stronger, would think about trying to escape. I couldn't.

I stopped, taking a breath as I stood. I could feel sweat all over my body, the sweet stickiness of it, not from the heat, but from the memories. My body felt like I had to move, I started pacing in front of Carlisle.

I hated him, but somehow I also cared about him. I began to hate the werewolves more, all they were doing to him, all the hurt they were inflicting on him, it was my pain.

I was strong enough to remove my shackles, and I did, but I couldn't leave. Where would I go, I would never be safe. Eventually he would let me stay upstairs; let me see the non-fighting side of him. I think he began to hate that he was hurting me, after some fights he wouldn't share his injuries. I could see that it was weakening him.

One night they came to our door, he screamed at me to run, to not let them find me. They did, with one touch they knew. They knew why he had been such a good fighter, why he was able to come after their kind again and again, almost completely destroying their numbers for his master.

I thought they would kill me then, I guess they thought I could be of more use to them alive. They took me with them. I could now feel when he wounded them, he would attack them, biting at their backs, twisting their limbs off. As much as I had prayed once for his death, I now prayed for his safety, that he might come for me.

I stopped my pacing, sliding to the ground, waving Carlisle's attempt to reach out to me off. "Why did I do that? How could I have wanted to love someone like him?"

The werewolves decided to move me, the locals becoming suspicious of them. We headed north, I didn't speak the language, and everything was different. I was outside for the first time in ages. The air was crisp. It was clean. The closer we got to our destination the stronger I got.

I saw the vampire when we got there; he was hiding, waiting for us. I knew it was going to be an ambush. By now I hated all of them, I wanted them all to feel the pain that I did. My constant suffering. I could have called out, to warn him that my companion was traveling with friends; I could have warned my captors that he was waiting for them. I did nothing. I think I wanted something to happen. I knew that night would be the end, either I would be free or I would die.

Carlisle held my gaze, his honey colored eyes looking at mine, "He was all you knew, all you had. Even with all he had done, at least he was familiar. You can't beat yourself up because you wanted to live, because you were able to survive that."

It was different with the werewolves, I knew they would never kill me, I was too valuable to them, but I knew I would never be able to escape my cell. He never came for me, I knew he was still out there, still fighting; I could see it in the wounds I carried. I willed myself not to heal, but I did.

I stopped talking. I felt calm, the wind caressing my skin. I breathed in the intoxication scent of salted woods. The feeling that I wasn't alone that I was protected and safe enveloped me. I looked at Carlisle expecting to see Jasper with him, but he was still alone on the steps.

As soon as they were close enough, as soon as they got the scent of each other their bodies collided. I ran. I ran until I thought my lungs would burst, but I couldn't stop. I could still hear them, hear them ripping each other apart. I tried to hide, wedging myself in a tight corner, hiding behind shipping containers. I looked around, trying to figure out where I was. I don't know if their plan had been to keep passing through or we were going to stop there, but I could see the ships, the cargo containers, I knew we were at a shipyard, even if I didn't know where.

I felt someone grab me from above, their sharp jagged claws digging into my flesh. A fire burning in the distance. I surrendered, my body going limp. I knew what the fire was for, the smell of burning incense in the salty air. I watched as they ripped him to pieces, burning every bit of him. I wanted to feel sorry for him, but I couldn't, I was numb, just waiting for them to kill me next. He reached out for me, I felt something snap. He hadn't come to rescue me, to save me, he only wanted me to save him. My rage filled my body; I yanked myself free, trying to run. I didn't get far before they found me.

I thought this was truly going to be my death. I welcomed it, anything to finally stop the pain. They tossed my body on the dying fire, nothing left but embers and ashes. I could see the sun coming up; I knew they would leave now. It was like sleeping. Like I woke up. I was still alive. I pulled myself off the pit, I could barely breath. I couldn't walk, could barely move. I crawled into a container, hiding all the way in the back, in the dark. I must have slept, or passed out, I'm not sure which. When I woke up, I could smell the saltiness, feel the movement. I waited until I knew it was dark, I opened the door, all I could see was open ocean.

There were only a few crew on board, it was easy to hide, to find food to steal. I could tell when we were getting closer to the ships destination. I could hear the crew making preparations, I didn't understand everything they were saying, but I could understand some. They docked in the evening; as soon as I could I got off, not knowing where I was or where I was going. Instinctively I started running, putting as much distance between the ship and myself as I could. I tried to follow the shoreline, just wanting to get out of the city, away from people.

I slept on a bench that first night, scared, cold, alone. Something was drawing me this way, towards you. I could feel it. I didn't know what it was, something was calling me here.

I stopped talking, realizing that I wouldn't be able to explain what brought me to Forks, to the Cullen family. How could I explain that when I was here it felt like a missing piece was found, that I felt complete when I was here.

"I guess you know the rest, someone found me, brought me to you, and here I am."

Carlisle just looked at me, his eyes burning with something, something unsaid. Almost to himself I heard him whisper, "but you were a legend, a fairy tale, you didn't really exist." He stood, crossing the yard to stand next to me, "I know who you are, who created you."

I could just look at him with surprise and fear, "I don't think I want to know, I can't handle anything else." I could hear the pain in my voice making it waver. "I just want to get over this, put it all behind me, just get over it."

I buried my face in his shirt, crying against him. Why couldn't he understand, I didn't want to be a puzzle for him to solve, I just wanted to heal, to be fixed.

My body stiffened, my arms so tight around Carlisle if he were an ordinary human I would have been crushing him. I heard a howl in the distance, it sounded pained. "What was that?"

Carlisle looked down at me, "a wolf, we have wolves here, not the same as werewolves."

I nodded my head against him, he was right they sounded nothing alike, this had sounded different than the howls in my memories.

I could feel the energy draining from me, my mouth opened to a yawn. "I think I'm going to go inside, go to bed." I turned to walk into the house, my feet feeling like lead.

I made it to my room, seeing the worried looks of Alice and Jasper when I passed them on the steps. I didn't even bother with taking off my shoes, just falling into bed. Esme came in after me, slipping them off my feet and pulling a blanket around me. Exhausted as I was I still reached out to her, wanted to feel her embrace before I gave in to sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

I had the best nights sleep since imprinting on Dawn. Just so relieved, so thankful that she was healing. I could see her getting stronger, her movement getting more fluid everyday. I had been surprised at first, seeing the transformations taking place, first her clothes, her hair, then even her attitude. She was able to express herself, make decisions without cowering. It was amazing to watch. I loved that she loved the outdoors, not just because it got to see more of her, watching her hike in the woods, or curled up on the porch with a book, but it was wonderful to see the color returning to her face.

I woke sometime in the afternoon, my stomach needing some attention. Jake was already awake and out of the house. I looked around, hoping to find Jared or Quil, but finding neither decided that Jared was probably with Kim, and since school was out for the summer Quil was probably off somewhere with Claire. I checked the cabinets; finally settling on a bag of chips I was sure Quil had hid. I rooted around in the fridge, giving the milk a sniff test I decided to just have a glass of water.

I leaned back in the kitchen chair, spying the clock I realized that if I took a shower now I could be at Sam and Emily's around dinnertime. I grinned, Emily was an awesome cook, and I knew she'd never turn me away. I could also talk to Sam, since it looked like Dawn was doing so well there was no reason for me not to be back on patrol, carrying my share of the weight.

Jacob's rabbit was in the driveway at Sam's. I could hear Sam and Jacob in the backyard, working with Seth, Collin, and Brady; I guess they thought the younger guys could use some more training. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop; I just didn't want to interrupt. There is no sneaking up on a wolf; Sam and Jacob both heard me before the "pups".

"Jake tells me Dawn is making good progress, we're all glad to hear that."

"Yeah, that's why I can over, since it looks like she's on the rebound I thought I should talk to you about being put back on the rotation."

Sam nodded, "I was just thinking the same thing, with summer here now I'd like to make sure there's always at least a team out, all the hikers, the uncertainty with Dawn, and just overall summer tends to be a busier time. Since you're so eager to jump back in, you ready to take a shift tonight? Jared and Paul have both been wanting to spend some time with their imprints."

"Sounds great." I stayed there, hanging out, and getting into a game of what was supposed to be touch football, but it wasn't long before bodies were colliding, shoulders popping in and out of sockets. It was wonderful, spending time with the pack again, talking to Sam; it was almost like old times, before all my energy went into thinking about Dawn and trying to protect her from herself.

Emily called us in at dinnertime; I was surprised to see Jacob hadn't left yet. He spent at least a little bit of everyday with Nessie. I knew that the amount of time she had been spending with Dawn lately was cutting into some of his time with her, but for the most part he wasn't complaining. For the most part, but I knew he was looking forward to Dawn getting better and finding her own life, or being able to see us and not feel the need to jump off cliffs.

I reached around Collin, grabbing another burger before there was none left. I looked at Jacob, "No Nessie today?"

He shook his head, his mouth too crammed with food to speak at first, "She called me earlier, Alice decided to take her and the other girls to Seattle, do some shopping." He rolled his eyes, making a gagging expression, "Can't say that it would be my first choice of things to do, but she'll have fun. That crazy aunt of her sure knows how to shop."

I stopped eating, laughing, remembering how Nessie was able to talk Jake into a shopping trip with her aunt, he came back loaded down with bags, he caught no end of it with us when we saw what she had picked out for him. For someone who spent most of his time in shorts, either cutoffs, khaki, or sweat pants, and only occasionally bothered to wear a shirt, which was the normal attire for the packs, Alice bought him slacks, a few button up collared shirts, and a sweater. Yes sweater for someone who was a balmy 108. I thought she must have done it to be funny, but hearing his thoughts I could see that she had picked it because "the color looks so good with your skin tone." I had laughed myself silly that night.

"So who am I on patrol with tonight?" I was so out of the loop I didn't know the schedule anymore.

"Leah." I inwardly groaned, it wasn't that I didn't like Leah, I'm sure once upon a time she was a nice friendly person. Losing Sam to Emily and him not being able to tell her about the imprint, her father's death, and being the lone female member of the pack had made her a little bitter. Oh well, at least with her I wouldn't have to hear anyone's running internal monolog about anything, with Leah if she wasn't able to get under your skin she was pretty quiet. I liked that about her, if you ignored her she was quiet.

Quil and Noah came off duty as Leah and phased on duty. They welcomed me back, giving us the rundown of what was going on, it wasn't much. They had run the normal patrol routes; nothing was out of the ordinary. The let us know that Dawn, Nessie, Alice, Bella, and Esme had left a few hours ago, that Emmett and Rosalie had left not too long after them. Other than that it had been a quiet shift.

"Please, not you too. I am so sick and tired of hearing everyone's thoughts about their imprints; do you know what that's like for me? All those thoughts of what you would all like to do to your girlfriends? Of your love and devotion to your women?"

"Sorry Leah," I realized that whenever she imprinted it was going to be weird for us too, seeing her images, her fantasies, with a guy. I shook my head; those were images I did not want to think about.

"I'll take the northern route, looping through Forks, if you want to go south."

I didn't care either way, it felt great to be out, running, and either way I knew I'd work a few laps around the Cullen house. Not only was it on my patrol route, but I still wanted to keep an eye on Dawn, just until I knew for sure she was better.

There really wasn't a lot going on, summer was here now, I let Leah know that there were some campers out between Forks and La Push, I gave them a wide berth, no reason to start any kind of panic unless we had to.

"Embry, they're home, I just heard them pull up the drive." Leah's voice filled my thoughts, "Nessie must be sleeping, Bella is carrying her home."

"How's Dawn?"

"They parked in the garage, I'm sure you'll see her light come on soon." I could hear the annoyance in her voice. I didn't care; I was already running a loop that would bring me to the Cullens.

"Never mind, looks like she and Carlisle are sitting on the porch."

I came around to where Leah was, to where I could see Dawn. She looked upset, scared, and angry all at once. I could see the light from the house coming through the windows, it casts shadows over her as she sat with Carlisle. Leah and I watched, both of us able to the feel the tension that was in the air. I remembered the way Dawn had been in the woods with Carlisle, the pain in her voice, her tears, and her anger . . .this was so much worse.

I tried not to listen, not because I didn't want to know, but because with every remembered experience I could see how much it had hurt her, watching her talk to Carlisle was like watching her relive it. I could smell the fear, the sweet stickiness of her sweat as she described what had brought her here. It was too much to bear, too much for me to take, the pain in her voice when she questioned herself, her description of the fight, of decided that if she didn't escape she would perish. I couldn't take it; I stood, running towards her, the wind ruffling my fur. Leah tackled me, "what are you doing?" She hissed the words in my head.

"I can't hear anymore," my arms ached to hold her, all I could think about what she needed to be comforted, that I needed to hold her.

"Embry, you can't." She spoke softly, I could see the caring in her eyes and I knew she was right.

"Get off me, I'm ok." I stood, casting one more look over my shoulder, at my love. She was wrapped in Carlisle's arms. At that moment I don't' know what hurt more, everything I had heard tonight, everything I had learned about her, or that I couldn't comfort him, that she was comforted by the very kind that took her. I threw my head back, unable to keep the pain inside, howling out into the night.

I could hear Leah in my thoughts, telling me that I should stop, I should control myself, but I could see Dawn, I saw that she wasn't scared, that Carlisle had made a distinction between wolves and werewolves, it was faint, but I saw her nod.

I watched her, the both of them walking into the house, I watched the house, until her light was off. I didn't know what to do with myself.

"I'm sorry Embry, I didn't know it was like that." Leah's thoughts were in my head again.

"Yeah, it's rough." Rough, that was putting it mildly. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do, how I can protect her, keep her safe, everything that is hurting her is inside." I hung my head.

"Have you tried talking to Carlisle?" I looked over at her, had she really just said that? She must have heard, "I know what kind of pain you're in, I can see the hurt, feel the agony, maybe if you talked to him he might be able to help you get closer to her."

I couldn't believe that Leah was being nice, was suggesting this.

"Em if you want to stay here, stay close, I understand, but I should go run a few more patrol laps."

"Thanks Leah, just until I make sure she's sleeping and not having nightmares, then I'll join you." I wanted to stay outside her window all night, to be there as much as I could for her, but I also knew I was 'on duty.' After telling Sam that I was ready I didn't want to have to explain why I wasn't pulling my fair share of the load.

Morning came, with Seth and Jared joining us.

"Man, Embry, I'm sorry. Sounds like it was a horrible night."

"I can't believe my sister was nice."

I listened as everyone traded thoughts, the shared mind allowing us all to see and remember at the same time.

"Guys, I'm just going to stay here for a while, if you need me let me know, otherwise I'm just going to stay until I know she's awake."

I knew Seth and Jared wouldn't care, I could already hear them taking off in different directions, already thinking of their own thoughts. I was surprised when I saw Leah, she had phased, walking up to me. "I'm serious about what I said, I think you should talk to the Doctor, see if there is anything you can do to make yourself useful." She reached her arm out, scratching the fur at my neck; it was a sweet spot for all of us. She suddenly looked in my eyes, I couldn't believe it, and Leah Clearwater gave me a hug. I watched her walking away, then knowing that she had phased again.

"Thanks Leah," I knew she heard, even if she didn't respond.

I lay there, hidden in the underbrush, wondering how I was going to talk to Carlisle, what I was going to say to him. Thinking maybe I should talk to Sam or Jacob first. I just couldn't do nothing anymore.

It wasn't until late morning that I saw movement in her room; she had slept through the night again without screaming. That was a good sign. I stayed where I was, still thinking, arguing with myself about what to do next. I saw Jacob pull in the drive, going to Nessie's. I sucked in a breath; it couldn't hurt to talk to him about this. He was probably the best person to talk to about this, the most understanding of what I was going through. I started walking towards Nessie's house, phasing as I went. I got there as Jacob was walking in the door.

"Jacob, you think I could talk to you a minute first?" He looked over to me, then back inside the house. I could tell he was weighing his duties to me as a friend, as a pack leader against his desire to see Nessie. "I'll just wait here," I gestured to the chairs on the porch.

I saw the relief on his face, "Alright, just give me a few minutes, then we'll be out."

Jake came out with Nessie, tossing me an apple and a package of pop tarts. "Thanks." I looked at him he had the same breakfast. Nessie had a glass in her hand, I could smell what it was, I was glad it wasn't a clear cup.

Nessie saw me eying her cup, she raised it to me, laughing, "Breakfast of champions" she took a drink.

"So what's going on?" Jacobs voice invading my thoughts about his half-vamps drinking habits.

I took a deep breath to settle my nerves, the words just spilling out of me. "I saw Dawn last night, after she got home she and Carlisle talked for hours. Something triggered her memory, she told him everything. I wanted to be sick when I listened." I looked down, suddenly very interested in my feet. "I can understand why she thinks she hates our kind, why she sees us as evil."

Jacob and Nessie stood on either side of me, both of them looking down at me with compassion on their faces.

"I just don't know if I can do this anymore, if I can handle anymore." My voice cracked, "I think I'm going to talk to Carlisle. I don't know, maybe he can offer some suggestion, something I can do to help her."

I heard the door open; I flicked my eyes over, seeing two sets of shoes. Great, Bella and Edward were there to see my breakdown. I wiped at my face, but seeing them together, how close they stood, their body turned toward each other, Jacob and Nessie holding hands behind me, the love for each other evident in their eyes I couldn't stop myself. I cried. I wiped angrily at my face, wiping the tears. My breath was ragged, "this is just going to kill me."

We all suddenly froze, hearing someone walking down the cobblestone path. My nose flared, I knew that scent, the smoldering fire. My eyes making contact with Jacobs, Dawn was coming. I stood, wondering if I should run in the house with Jake, or if we should head for the woods. Edward placed a cold hand on my shoulder, whispering too low for her to hear, "She's coming to apologize to Bella and Nessie for last night." He looked at the two of them, "you two stand in front," he looked back at the two of us, "if I feel her getting scared I'll tell you so you can leave."

She suddenly appeared in front of us, I almost gasped when I saw her. She was so beautiful, even with everything I knew about her there was still an innocence about her. I was glad I was sitting otherwise I don't know that my legs could have held me. I saw her eyes go back and forth between Jake and I. I could have just been hoping, but I thought her eyes lingered on me. "I didn't realize you had company." She stopped walking. "I was coming to talk to Bella and Nessie, but I don't want to interrupt." She looked at us again, it was almost like she recognized Jake and I, but that couldn't be true.

Bella spoke, Edwards hand in hers. "Dawn these are just some of Reneseme's friends. This is Jacob," she nodded her head in his direction, "and this is Embry."

I saw her smile, the grin reaching her eyes. "Jacob, I'm so glad to have finally met you, I've heard, and seen," I saw her shoot a grin at Nessie, "so much about you."

I looked at Jacob and he shrugged his shoulders. I wanted to ask how she saw him, but I knew right now wasn't the right time.

Edward spoke, "you're welcome to join us if you'd like, they were just finishing breakfast, I think they were going to be doing hiking today."

I could see her debating with herself; Edward's face was still unreadable. I could see Bella look at him, questions in her eyes, the same questions that were also in mine.

"Yeah, that sounds great, let me just run back home, change my shoes." She looked down, grinning at her flip-flops. "And tell Esme and Carlisle where I'm going." She turned and started back towards the house.

Edward spoke again, walking off the porch, his hand still holding Bella's. He looked behind, looking at us, gesturing for us to follow. "We'll walk with you."

I was almost shaking with excitement. I had no idea what Edward had planned, I could feel my heart racing in my chest. This was the closest I had been to her since I had been allowed to watch her sleep. Nessie dropped Jacobs hand to walk in step with her, I could see the both of them turning their heads to look at us. Both of them were smiling. Jake and I stayed outside when we got to the house, watching as the girls ran inside to gather Dawn's stuff.

"What was that?" Bella broke the silence before I could. "Do you really think that's a good idea?"

Edward turned looking at all of us. Carlisle, Jasper, and Alice joining us outside. "She wasn't thinking about being afraid, I could tell she was curious, trying to figure out who you were, she recognized something about you." He looked at me.

I heard Carlisle, "I don't know that I think this is a good idea, but as long as she's not frightened, and" he looked meaningfully at Jacob and I, "she doesn't see anything she shouldn't, it might not be as bad I would think."

I watched the pixie like vampire, Alice, stare off, her eyes unfocussed. Everyone's eyes going to her, "It'll be alright, I didn't see anything." She smiled suddenly, looking at me, "She is going to wonder why you don't have shoes or clothes on."

I looked at Jake, realizing that he had sneakers and a shirt on for his visit with Nessie, I was still just in my cutoff, having been on duty last night. Jasper looked at my panicked expression, disappearing into the house for a second, his body a blur, then handing me a shirt and a pair of Tevas. I opened the shirt, trying to air as much of the vampire smell off as I could. But ripping my arms into when I heard Nessie and Dawn coming out.

Esme looked at me, I could see the worry in her face. She hugged Dawn close, letting her go only after making eye contact with Edward, Alice, and Carlisle. I guess what she saw convinced her to let go. Nessie and Dawn both bounced down the steps, Nessie standing next to Jake, Dawn looking a little shy, standing next to me.

"Don't be gone too long, don't want you kids getting lost." I knew Carlisle was only saying that for Dawn's benefit, there was no way Jake and I could get lost in those woods.

There had been times with Nessie's incessant chatter had driven me insane, but now I was thankful for it. Her talking made in unnecessary for me to talk; instead I could enjoy walking next to Dawn. I had to really concentrate to make sure I didn't stare, the last thing I wanted to do was give her anything else to worry about. Nessie prattled on about their shopping trip last night, describing to Jake about a dress she had gotten. She turned looking at Dawn, "Dawn got one too, mine's to wear to the Fourth of July picnic in La Push," Nessie eyed me meaningfully, "I'm not sure where Dawn is going to wear hers to yet." I shot daggers at Nessie, I knew what she was trying to do, but I didn't want to scare Dawn, I was happy to just be near her.

"Embry, that's kind of a unique name, how did you get it?" It took me a second to realize that Dawn was speaking to me. Her voice was soft, with a slight accent.

I stuttered, I couldn't get my mouth to form words. "I, uh, my mom," I took a breath, "My mom named me after a soap opera star." I smiled, "She was a big fan of the show I guess." I smiled, "What about you, Dawn is a very pretty name." I saw Jake make a face at me, but I didn't care.

I saw her advert her eyes for second before looking at me again. "It was the name they gave me when I woke up," her shoulders shrugged, "I like it, and everyone agrees that it fits me." I saw a smile light up her face, "I was found not far from here, at dawn." She laughed at her own joke. "Would you like to see it, where I was found?"

I cringed inwardly; I avoided that spot at all cost, the memories too much for me there. That I thought she was dead when I found her, the way I had treated her. She misread my expression, putting a hand up to her mouth, "I just assumed you knew, that since you were a shape shifter too you knew about me." She cocked her head to the side, taking a step closer to me, standing only inches apart, "I was sure you would have been at the meeting about me, that you were trying to help Carlisle help me."

I wanted to reach out then, to touch her, to pull her hair behind her ear, to wrap her in my arms; instead I took in a deep breath, pulling her scent into my lungs. I had to take a step back; I couldn't think when I was this close to her, "I was there, I do know about you." I took another breath, "I can't go back to the cliff bottom you were found at." I swallowed, looking into her eyes.

The realization washing over her, "You were there, where I was found? Who was it, how did it happen?" She sat down, leaning against a tree. "Will you tell me about it?"

I looked to where Jacob and Nessie had been, but they were no longer there. I swallowed, not sure what to tell her, not wanting to keep anything from her, but not sure she would be able to know the truth. I looked down at her; I crossed my legs under myself, dropping down next to her. "I'm the one that found you." My voice came out as a whisper. "I was out with some friends, and I saw you." I realized as I was telling her the story that I would need to do some editing, both to prevent her from know what I was, but to shield her from my original thoughts of her. "I didn't know what you were at first, I thought you were just a lost hiker." I swallowed my shame, her eyes still on me. "My friends Seth and Jared were out with me, we found you buried in the snow, you were pretty injured." I had to stop, I could feel the emotions on my face, "We called for Jacob, not sure what to do." I could feel a tear force its way out. "We had all the snow brushed of you by the time Jake got there, and we realized you were injured and alive." My voice broke slightly, "I carried you to the Cullens," I felt her put her hand in mine; I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I squeezed gently, "we didn't know what you were, what had happened, how you had gotten there." I swallowed, staring into her eyes again, willing her to feel what I felt. She pulled her gaze from mine, sitting in the silence for a few minutes.

She stood, dropping my hand, "Where did Ness and Jake go?" I looked around; concentrating on the sounds I could hear them, wrapped up in each other, enjoying the privacy.

I cleared my throat, suddenly my voice coming out loud and strong. I pointed over a small hill, "I think they went off in that direction." I laughed hearing them pull apart, trying to not act like they weren't groping each other. Nessie had spread a blanket on the ground, her backpack in one corner, with her shoes. Dawn and I sat down with them. Everyone laughed when my stomach growled. The pop tarts and apple having been forgotten at Nessie's when Dawn walked up.

Dawn slid her backpack off, unzipping it and handing out sandwiches. She grinned at Nessie, "Esme made them while I was getting ready." She handed two to Jake, two to me, none to Nessie, and took one for herself. She also handed both Jake and I a bottle of water. She stretched her legs out, falling back on her elbows, "It's so beautiful here. There's just something about the air." She breathed deep, a calm smile on her mouth, "It's like nothing I've ever been aware of, the smell here is amazing, that earthy, woodsy, cleanliness, with a touch of the sea." She grinned over at me, "how far are we from the beach?"

I thought for a few seconds, I knew it didn't seem far for me, but that was because I was used to running it as a wolf. "I'm not sure," I looked to Jake, "About 12, 15 miles, give or take." Jake nodded at my estimate.

"Oh." I could hear the disappointment in her voice. She bit down on her lower lip, "I was hoping it was closer."

"Why, do you feel the need to get wet?" Nessie laughed, taking a bottle of water and spraying it on her.

Dawn looked shocked; I felt anger flash up quickly, my eyes looking at Nessie. I stopped, hearing the sound of Dawns laughter mixing with the other two's. I laughed too. I saw Dawn nudge Nessie with her foot, "well someone did get a new swimsuit last night." That got Jakes attention.

"Really," he wiggled his eyebrows at Ness, "When do I get to see it?"

Ness grinned, "I'll wear it for the picnic, Alice says it's going to be perfect fireworks weather."

I saw Dawn look away, "What's wrong?" I whispered to her. She just looked back at me, shaking her head. She started putting wrappers and her bottle of water back in her bag. She smiled, pulling out her camera.

"Smile!" The flash went off, Jacob and Nessie just staring at her. She grinned wildly, "Candid shots are the best." I saw the flash go off again, Nessie reaching for the camera.

"My turn," the camera in Nessie's hands. She turned, winked at me, "Why don't you sit next to Embry." I saw the flush in Dawn's cheeks, giving Nessie a dirty look.

I sat there grinning, Dawn sitting next to me as Nessie clicked the shutter. Dawn decided she wanted a few more pictures of Jake and Nessie, even setting the timer to get one of the four of us before we started packing up again, deciding that it was time to start heading back. There was so much I wanted to say, to ask, to talk to Dawn about on the hike back, but I couldn't bring myself to open my mouth. I could see Dawn glancing at me out of the corner of her eyes. I couldn't help but grin; maybe she could feel it too.

Esme and Bella were either waiting for us or heard us coming, both of them sitting on the Cullens back porch when we walked out of the woods. "How was the hike?" Esme's voice rang out, her eyes on Dawn.

"Great gram! And thanks for telling us to pack a lunch."

Jake and I nodded our heads, "It was great, thank you Esme."

"You guys want to come in, hang out for a while?" Dawn was talking to us, but looking at me. She started walking up the steps.

I looked over to Jake, I wanted nothing more than to spend more time with her, but I didn't want to overwhelm her, plus being up all night, the hike, the emotional roller coaster I had been on in the last 24 hours, it was all catching up to me.

Edward stepped outside them, I'm sure as a reaction to my thoughts. "I think it's been enough for one day, besides," he looked at Nessie, "Someone still has some school work to do."

"Oh" She spoke it so softly I wasn't sure I had heard her at first, it sounded like she was disappointed. She turned around, keeping my gaze, "Well I guess I'll see you guys later, maybe the next time Jake comes to see Ness you'll want to hang out?"

I grinned back up at her, not caring that Edward could read my thoughts, that as soon as I was alone with Jake I would hear no end of teasing. "Sounds like fun, I'll see you later."

Her smile melted my heart; she turned, almost skipping into the house.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

I was asleep before Esme left my room. I rarely remember my dreams, but when I woke that morning I did. I dreamed of wolves. Regular wolves, not the werewolves of my nightmares. It didn't frighten me the way I thought it would, rather it calmed me. I stayed in bed, trying to dream of it again, but it was gone. When I was fully awake and in the shower all the events of last night hit me. I cried in my shower, I think it was the one place the Cullens couldn't hear my silent sobs, or if they could they were respectful enough of my privacy not to ever mention it to me. I got dressed in slow motion, not eager to face everyone after what I had done in Seattle. I still didn't know what had come over me, why my temper had suddenly snapped.

I walked downstairs, surprised to only find Jasper and Alice there, I looked around, listening to see if I could hear them upstairs. "Where are Rosalie and Emmett?"

Jasper answered, "After you left last night they decided they needed a some time together, they'll be back in a week or two, in time for the fourth."

I appreciated Jaspers answer. I knew that all the 'hiking trips', 'camping trips,' and 'weekends away' that they all told me they were taking were euphemisms for when they would go hunting. I knew they knew I knew it too, but I was glad they kept the charade, insulating me as much as they could. The only one who didn't hide it from me was Nessie, after the first time she told me and saw that it grossed me out she would describe her hunting trip to me, in detail whenever she wanted the upper hand.

I stopped at the bottom of the stairs, facing Alice. "I'm sorry about last night, about losing my temper and ruining the evening." I felt Jaspers calming blanket, "I just, I don't know what came over me."

Alice stood, smiling at me. "There's nothing to forgive, I should have warned you of what you were going to see, it's my fault." I saw the light dancing in her eyes, "If you don't' tell him soon I will."

I had no idea what she was talking about; tell who, tell them what? "Alice, I don't know what you're talking about."

She gave her tittering laugh, "You're one of us now, remember?"

I did, it seemed so long ago, but it was only last night at dinner that I had asked if I could take the Cullen name as my own.

Jasper turned his head from me to Alice, a question on his face. "I'm a Cullen!" the words just blurting out, I wanted to say them before Alice could. I saw Esme walk in from the kitchen, a smile on Jaspers face.

"Welcome to the family, sis." I saw him wink at me.

My mood suddenly lifted I danced into the kitchen, Esme behind me. "I wasn't sure if you'd feel like breakfast," she handed me a glass of juice. "If you're hungry I could make you something."

I gulped my juice down, "I think I'm going to head over to Nessie's, apologize to Bella for scaring her last night." I chuckled, thinking how odd it was that I, a human, had scared a vampire. Esme only shook her head at me as I left the house.

I loved the cobblestone path between the houses; I let my mind wander on my way. Mentally kicking myself as I walked up the path, I should have brought Bella flowers or something, something to make her see that I was sincere in my apology. I lifted my head, filling my lungs with a deep breath of the salty-woodsy smell that surrounded me. I looked around, I loved that scent, it filled me with such a peace, but I could never find its source. I had even spent part of a day with Alice in Port Angeles smelling every candle I could find trying to find that scent. I could never find one that was even close.

I looked up, smiling at the memory of Alice's faces as she sniffed candles with me, when I saw him. I had seen Jake in Nessie's memories, but the guy next to him, he made my heart stop. I felt the blood rush to my face, I was sure I was pink to the top of my head, I could only hope I was still far away enough that they couldn't see. I kept walking, sure that my knees were going to buckle at any time. I saw Edward and Bella take a step forward, forcing me to break my stare. The five of them had looked like they were deep in conversation when I got there, I didn't want to interrupt.

Bella spoke, introducing me to Jacob and Embry. I looked at Jacob, he was exactly how Ness described him, how I had seen him in her memories. I was so happy when Edward suggested hiking. Something about Embry drew me to him, I wanted to stay near him, hear his voice.

"I think they were planning on a hike today, would you like to come along?" Edward looked at me, his gaze penetrating. I could only guess at what he was making of my thoughts about Jake and Embry.

I would have gladly left with them then, until I remembered I was still wearing my flip-flops. I also knew I'd have to let Esme and Carlisle know I was going into the woods. I turned walking towards the house, feeling Nessie run up to walk with me. I didn't want to talk, it was bad enough that Edward could read my thoughts, I didn't want to risk that being shape-shifters, Jake and Embry had great hearing too. I laughed, Nessie making facing and wagging her eyebrows at me. We both flung ourselves in the house; I took off, running upstairs to my room, digging for my socks and a pair of sneakers. On my way out I saw my camera sitting on my dresser I grabbed it too.

I saw a flash going down the steps, Jasper at full speed. I made it back to the kitchen just in time to see Esme take two backpacks from Jasper, putting a blanket and water in one, a bag of sandwiches and more water in the other. I raised an eyebrow at the amount of food she was packing, "Just wait, seeing those two eat is like watching a piranha skeletanize a cow." My mouth popped open at Nessie's description, but I saw Esme nod her head. Esme zipped the bags, handing one to Ness, the other to me. I slipped my camera in before slipping it on my back.

I was too focused on the hike, of being in the woods without one of the 'adults' that I didn't pay any attention to the conversation going on around me.

I almost laughed, seeing how uncomfortable Embry was with Nessie's not to subtle hint about inviting me to La Push. Not that I was encouraging her, I was just as embarrassed, but the look he shot her was priceless. I decided to change the subject, "Embry, how did you get that name?" I wasn't sure where the question came from; it was just the first one that came to mind when I was trying to distract him.

He was funny to watch, for a moment I wasn't sure he was going to be able to form words. "My mom named me after a soap opera star." I could only nod; at least he knew who named him.

"You have a pretty name, Dawn, where did it come from?"

I didn't have an answer at first, and then an idea hit me. "I was found out here, not far from where we are really. Who ever found me found me at dawn, hence the name." I looked around, "would you like to see where it was, where they found me?" I loved that spot, I went there often. Trying to jog my memory, trying to get the pieces to fit together.

Embry blanched, his body went pale before my eyes. I covered my mouth with my hand, had I said something I shouldn't have? He was a shape-shift, like Jacob, I could tell by looking at him. Maybe he hadn't been told about me, didn't know who I was. "I'm sorry, I thought being a shifter you knew about me. There was a meeting about me after I was found," I cocked my head, could I have been that off, that wrong. I was almost certain that he would have been there. "I just assumed you knew." My voice dropping, taking a step towards him, something in his eyes, I knew he knew about me.

He took a step back, gently shaking his head before speaking, "I was there, when you were found." His voice almost cracked, "I can't go back to that cliff bottom," His eyes looking into mine

I suddenly realized what he was saying, that he could answer some of the questions I had about how I had been found, who had found me. I sat down, leaning on a tree. "Will you tell me about it, about when I was found?"

I saw him stare off, his voice still low, "I'm the one that found you, my friends and I were out, we thought you were a hiker at first, until we started brushing the snow off you. Once we saw what you were, that you were still alive we called Jacob." I could see this was a painful memory for him, a tear in his eye, I put my hand in his, surprised at the warmth of it, I was sure he could see the flush on my cheeks when he squeezed my fingers. My heart was racing. "I carried you to the Cullens." I could see the pain in his eyes. I hadn't meant to cause him pain. I pulled my hand from his, missing his touch as soon as he let go.

"Where did Ness and Jake go?" I really didn't care; I just needed to break the spell that had fallen over Embry and I. I couldn't take seeing the pain on his face. I had wanted to know the who and the how I was found, but not if it hurt him.

Embry pointed over a hill, "I think they went that way." I followed after him, lost in thought. I couldn't believe he was the one who had found me; he had been the one who saved me.

I saw the sparkle in Nessie's eyes, her head on Jacob's leg. Seeing her with him, how much love there was between them made me catch my breath. There was such devotion, such mutual adoration between them. My thoughts brought back to the present by Embry's stomach, the growl breaking through my thoughts. I sat down, passing out the sandwiches Esme had made, laughing at the image of these two taking down a cow.

I laid back on the blanket that had been spread out, the hints of salt stronger in the air than usual. "How far are we from the beach?" As strong as the salty woodsy smell was I could only image that it was close.

I saw Embry and Jake look at each other, Embry answering, "give or take, about 12, 15 miles.

I had hoped it was closer; I loved the beach, the way the water stretched out forever. Suddenly I was wet. I looked at Nessie in shock, she was laughing, an empty bottle in her hand. "Thought maybe you wanted to get a little taste of the beach." I could hear Jake and Embry join in the laughter.

I laughed too, nudging Nessie with my foot, "maybe you should be thinking about the beach, you could wear your new swimsuit."

I saw Jake wiggle his eyebrows at her, "So when do I get to see it." I almost told him not to get his hopes up, that it was an Edward approved suit, but decided to keep quiet, he'd see it soon enough.

Nessie teased him; "I'll wear it for the picnic and fireworks." The ease at which their love flowed between them was almost too much for me. I wasn't jealous of what they had, I was envious. I needed to do something to distract myself, to not think about them. I started cleaning up, stuffing everything into my bag.

"What's wrong," I could hear Embry whisper to me, but I couldn't explain to him, what was I going to say, "I'm envious of my best friend's happiness?" I couldn't say that, I just shook my head. Stuffing the last of the wrappers in the bag my hand came across my camera, I smiled, pulling it out of the bag.

"Smile!" I grinned, the love mood broken. I flashed the camera again, getting another picture of Nessie and Jake.

Nessie stuck her hand out, "my turn" she took the camera from me. I saw the twinkle again, "Why don't you and Embry sit together?" I felt my face get hot, I gave Ness the dirtiest look I could manage, but she just looked at me, grinning.

I got the camera back, getting some pictures of Nessie and Jake, I knew once they were developed she would love them. Before putting the camera away I decided I needed one more picture, one of the four of us. I set the timer, placing the camera on a rock to hold it, realizing that standing there, between Embry and Jake and Nessie I was finally happy.

I couldn't stop myself on the way back, trying to look at Embry without being obvious. I was almost disappointed when we got home, not wanting the day to end yet. I saw Esme and Bella waiting for us on the porch. I smiled up at them, waving as we came out of the woods. I walked up the steps, turning, look as Embry, "Would you guys like to come in, hang out with us for a while?"

Edward stepped outside them, saying that Nessie had schoolwork to do.

I was disappointed; I looked at Embry again, hoping that I would see him soon. Before I could let myself think about it too much, unable to tear my gaze from his, I spoke, "Maybe the next time Jake comes to see Ness, you could come too." I felt my face flame up, but he grinned back up at me.

"Sounds like fun."

I turned then, running into the house before I did anything to embarrass myself further.

I bounced through the house, almost giddy. I put my backpack on the counter, dumping the garbage out as I dug for my camera. I clutched it to me, not being able to wait to print the pictures. I saw Jasper and Alice in the dining room, "Alice, come with me," I grabbed her hand; she stood, allowing me to pull her from her seat. I walked upstairs planning to use the computer in Carlisle's office to print the pictures and show them to her.

"Hey Carlisle, can I use your computer real quick, I want to print something out?" He nodded, sitting up, looking at me over the top of the paperwork that was spread out on his desk.

He shared a glance with Alice, "How was the hike?"

It was the opening I had been waiting for, I docked my camera, hitting the print button, then spun to face them, my face glowing. "It was awesome! I took some pictures, I'll show them to you as soon as they print, but Embry seems really nice." I took a breath, "Embry was the one who found me in the woods, and he brought me here." It wasn't a question, but I was still surprised at it being him. I had always assumed it was a member of my adoptive family that had found me. I wondered why he would have brought me here, instead of to where he was from. "Why did he bring me here, why didn't he take me to a regular hospital or to where he's from?"

Carlisle answered, "I was closer, and even though they weren't sure what you were, they could tell that you didn't have the scent of a one hundred percent human."

I thought about the answer, it made sense, but I sometimes got the impression there was more they weren't telling me. Pictures were coming out of the printer then, so I let it drop, picking them up, showing them to Alice and Carlisle. "Come on, let's go to my room," I looked at Alice, waving my fingers at Carlisle as we left his office.

I flopped down on my bed, stretching out, rolling onto my back. Alice sat down with me, "Tell me everything!"

"It was fun, I hope he comes back, he's very nice." I knew I wasn't telling her everything, I was holding back. For as much fun as I had had earlier, as safe as I had felt, there was still something that was bothering me. I hoped Alice would tell me, would answer my questions. "What is it about him, about Jake, that no one will tell me?"

I saw the surprise on her face, "What do you mean? You know they're shape-shifters, they're friends of the family, they belong to the Quileute tribe, what else do you want to know?"

I pulled a pillow over my face, yelling into it. I turned, smacking her with the pillow, "You know what I mean, he and Jake both seem nice, seem like good guys, but I know there's something else." A thought suddenly struck me, I laughed, "is it what they shift to?"

There was a brief flicker on Alice's face before it disappeared, "What do you mean?"

I laughed harder, my imagination working overtime, "Well I had thought maybe they were bears, Rosalie said they were dogs, but what if it's something else, like birds, or a bug," I laughed harder, tears rolling down my cheeks, picturing a squirrel with Embry's face. "Are they," my voice cracked with laughter, "Squirrels?"

Alice laughed with me, shaking her head at my lunacy. "I think if you really want to know you should just ask them. If they want to tell you they will." She paused, looking at me, taking my hand in hers, "You have to realize that he may not want to tell you."

I stopped laughing, I hadn't thought of that. I bit down on my bottom lip, wondering if I could get Nessie to tell me.

Alice stayed in my room with me, talking, laughing, and helping me to organize my closet, again. She showed my some capri's she had bought for me, wanting to see if I would wear them instead of my usual jeans. I promised her I would try them on, just in private. I knew she, or anyone else in the family wouldn't say anything about my scars, but I was self-conscience about them. The capris looked long enough to cover them, but if they didn't I didn't want to show them. Alice put them on hangers, hanging them on the hook on my closet door, preempting any argument I may have offered later about forgetting.

"Nessie's coming." I strained to hear, but it wasn't until a few seconds passed that I could hear her too. Nessie came in, assuming a place on the bed with Alice and I.

She looked at me, "So, spill it!" I could tell she had been waiting all day to ask. I laughed easily, she pushed the hair out of her face, "Do you know how much trouble I got into? It's very hard to concentrate on who the English rulers of the last century are when all I wanted to do was come over here and talk to you?"

"That's easy," I ticked off the rulers in order on my fingers. I saw Alice and Nessie's head both snapped up, looking at me like I had two heads.

"How did you do that, how did you know that?"

I shrugged, "well George V was the ruler when I was born, and the others, it's not hard to keep track when you live there."

I saw frozen expressions on their face; Alice was the first to speak, "Dawn, how old are you exactly?"

I shrugged again; I didn't have a good answer for her. My hands dropped down; suddenly picking at my comforter, "I'm not really sure," I counted backwards, "probably 90, 100 years old." I grinned at Alice, "How old are you?"

Carlisle had come out of his office; he was standing in my bedroom doorway. "I figured as much." We all turned to look at him. "I've been doing some research, talking to some friends in Europe. I think I may have discovered Dawn's origin."

I flopped back down on the bed, looking at Nessie. I exhaled loudly, showing my frustration. "All I wanted to do was show you the pictures I took, sit up talking about guys," I laughed softly, thinking of when I pictured them as squirrels, "maybe watch a movie with popcorn," I hung my head, "Now it's all weird."

I hadn't meant to hurt Carlisle feelings, or push him away, not really. I just wanted time to be a normal person. I knew he was only trying to help, to be useful, but I didn't want to know. Didn't he understand the more he dug, the more I remember the more I hated it, and the more I hated myself?

He must have seen the look on my face, "It's ok, if you don't want to talk about it, it's fine, I just thought maybe you would want to know. I'll be in my office if you decide you want to talk." He started to pull the door shut, then stopped. "Dinner is almost ready, Esme's going to be calling for you soon."

I turned back to Alice and Nessie, the mood from earlier broken. "Here, I printed these copies for you," I handed Nessie the pictures of her and Jacob together, "this one's my favorite," It was the picture of the four of us. I slipped off the bed, "I'm going to go see if Esme needs any help," I walked out of my room, leaving Nessie there to show Alice the pictures again, hearing them talk about Nessie and Jake.

I stopped by Carlisle's office before going downstairs. I stood in the doorway, knocking even though I knew he would hear me before I got there. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." He looked up from his desk, "I didn't mean to interrupt earlier, I just thought I would be able to help."

"I know, and I'm sorry I overreacted," I sat in my favorite spot, the bench at the window, "I just get frustrated sometimes, trying to be and act normal, but I know I'm not." I rubbed my hands up and down my arms, "I know I'm not all human, and I hate it." I looked down, not believing that I had finally confessed my biggest secret. I pulled my knees into my chest, rest my chin on my knees. "I don't know what they did to me, all I know is once I started taking their injuries as my own I stopped getting older." I looked up, "Well I would get older, a little, but it would take a really long time." I stopped, taking a breath, "Sometimes I think I want to know, but then again sometimes I don't." I knew I wasn't making much sense, but I kept talking, "The more I remember, the more I learn, the more I want to hide from it. Just runaway."

I could tell Carlisle was wrestling with something, I was sure he had more questions, more he wanted to talk to me about. "I want to make sure, make sure you understand, I'm only doing this to help you, because I, and everyone else, care about you, see you as family." I could only nod, I knew he wasn't doing it on purpose, wasn't doing it to hurt me. I laughed when he likened it to a flower growing, hearing him compare me to a flower, that they needed care, the proper conditions to grow, "they can't grow in the dark, they need sunlight to really flourish, to come alive. Just like you, if you keep it all inside, in the dark, you'll never flourish, never really be living."

I knew he was right. The dam broken, the words didn't stop. Even as I sat on my window bench watching the light fade we kept talking. He showed me a painting, asking if I recognized anyone from it. I saw him standing in the corner of the painting, but there was someone else, someone whose image made me want to hide. I pointed, recognizing him as the man who had taken me. I heard Carlisle's voice saying his name, "Caius." He was the man from my nightmare, my memories of him taking me from the markets, of giving me to my capture still as fresh as the day it happened. I saw a pained look on Carlisle's face when I pointed him out. I didn't know how or why Carlisle knew him, when I asked Carlisle told me about his early years, his time before he crossed the ocean and made a home and a family for himself. I had heard most of the stories before, picking up bits and pieces of it here and there from different people. But I loved the way Carlisle told it best.

I stood, stretching my legs, realizing how long we had been in his office, how long we had been talking. He walked to the kitchen with me as I poked around the fridge finding the plate Esme has put in there for me. Esme came in after us, sitting at the counter with Carlisle as I ate. Carlisle told her that his suspicions were correct. Caius had used me on his quest to eradicate werewolves from Europe. He also had a theory about my aging, about not only why I could survive as long as I had, but in good health, they way I had survived the elements, the trip on the cargo ship, and why I was able to recover so quickly from injuries. That because of all my exposure to the vampire venom, not directly, but by proxy, and my exposure to all the werewolf bites and what they contained, that I had built up a tolerance, that my body had responded to the exposure by adapting to the toxins, mutating in it's own way to protect me. That because it wasn't like a true bite, that instead of stopping me from aging as it did them, it just slowed it down, way down.

Esme explained it best, likening it to paint. That when she, Alice, Jasper, and everyone else was turned they took a full dose, it was like mixing equal parts black and white paint together, and they were gray. That with Nessie, she was only half, with half the traits, like mixing a gallon of white with only half a gallon of black, it would still be gray, just not as dark. She likened my repeated exposure to the different attacks as drops of paint into my own white paint. That with each vampire bite I absorbed it was like a drop of black paint, with each werewolf bite it was a drop of red. That there were enough drops to make the paint no longer pure white, but it wasn't truly gray or pink either.

I liked Esme explanation best, Carlisle's was probably more accurate, but he was trying to explain the genetics, the science, with Esme she made it so easy. Alice and Jasper joined us in the kitchen, hearing the final explanation. I toyed with the cup of water in front of me, pondering the new information. I looked at the two of them, wondering if this information would change anything with us. I looked closely at both of them, but they looked at me the same way they always had.

I stood, walking into the living room, too wired to sleep, but too exhausted to think anymore about me, about unraveling who I was. I settled onto the couch, grabbing the remote and flicking the TV on. I could hear Carlisle explaining to everyone all the new information, everything that he and I had learned tonight. I turned the TV down, trying to overhear, but their voices were too low for me to make out more than a few words. I thought about going back in the kitchen, but I couldn't take hearing anymore about myself. I just wanted some time to think, to digest everything that had happened, everything that I had learned. I tried to focus on the infomercial, thinking of Emmett and how when he would watch them he'd turn the volume off and make up his own commentary. It made me miss him and Rosalie; I hoped they would come home soon. I knew I wasn't Rosalie favorite person, but I hoped she knew that she was one of mine. I was closest to Nessie, ness was my best friend, and I was close to Alice, jasper, and Emmett, but I thought I had the most in common with Rosalie, neither one of us picked our lives, and if we could we would give it up for the lives we both thought we would have had. I had always thought I would grow up, find someone, marry, live on a farm like my family, have some kids, and live a regular life. I knew that wasn't possible for me now, there was no one who I would find to love me, that could understand who I was or what I was, I had no experience in these matters, but I doubted that even if I could find love that I could have children, and at the rate I was aging I would have at least a quarter millennium before my demise.

I could feel my eyelids starting to droop, the haze of sleep surrounding me. I flicked the TV off, detoured through the kitchen to trade hugs before going to bed.

I changed into my pajama's, climbing under the covers, leaving the light on, knowing that Esme would be up soon to wish me a good night and 'tuck me in.' I loved that about her, how she was able to fill a void for a mother that I wasn't aware that I had. She didn't' disappoint, coming in as my head hit the pillow, "Dawn, how are you doing, I know it's a lot to take in, a lot to think about."

I pulled the comforter up tighter around me, "Yeah, but it's ok, at least now I know, and you all know too, well everyone but Emmett and Rosalie." I stopped, wanting to ask, but not wanting to hear the answer, "Did Emmett and Rosalie leave because of me?"

Esme looked at me, "no, of course not, they just wanted some time alone together."

I knew she was lying, protecting me, and I let her. My eyes fell on the pictures that were on my nightstand; I reached out, picking up the one of Embry and I. Esme saw, a smile on her face, she sat on the edge of the bed. "Today was fun," I could feel the grin on my face, "He was nice, Jake too. I guess now I can really understand why he's so important to Ness." I thought about my time with them, "He told me he was the one who found me in the woods, that he brought me here." I remembered the pain on his face when he told me about it, "It was a hard thing for him to talk about."

"I'm sure it was, they didn't know what to think of you at first, it took Carlisle a while to find the best way to treat you, but you were strong." She leaned forward, placing a kiss on my forehead as I yawned. "Sweet dream, go to sleep, we can talk when you wake up.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

I couldn't help but grin, sitting in the passenger seat of Jakes car, waiting for him to say his good byes. Today had just been amazing. It was exactly what I could have hoped for. Better even. I still couldn't believe it had gone so well. That I had spent hours with her, that she had held my hand, that we had talked, she had even let me put my arm over her shoulders, hers around my waist when we took the group picture. I don't think I could have felt any better if I had just been told I won the lottery.

Jake slid in the car, grinning at me, "have fun?"

"That was awesome, are you coming back tomorrow? Can I come with you?" I couldn't stop smiling.

Jake laughed at me some more, "I think maybe we should talk to Sam, talk to Carlisle, make sure that it won't hurt her recovery, but she does seem to like you for some reason."

I paused for a second, "Yeah she does doesn't she?" I couldn't believe how easy it had been between she and I, how natural it felt for us to be together. I sighed, leaning my head back into the headrest, "I think she likes me too."

Jake shook his head at me, "You know you sound like a dork, right. Why wouldn't she like you, she's your imprint, and you're a nice guy."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Do you think she feels the imprint between us, or is it just gratitude that I'm the one that found her?"

"They told her it was you?"

"No, I did, today when we were near the spot, she and I were talking, she offered to show me where she had been found, I told her I didn't need to see it, I had already been there, that I had been the one who originally found her, that I was the one who brought her to Carlisle."

"Ahh, doesn't that make you her prince charming?" I could only roll my eyes at him.

We pulled at to the house, walking in Jared and Quil were on the couch, game controllers in hand. "Hey guys, where have you two been?"

"Embry had his first 'date' with Dawn today." The way Jacob said it, the teasing tone made Quil and Jared stare, open mouthed.

"That's awesome, congrats!" I was surprised to hear a female voice; I turned to the kitchen, seeing Kim standing there. I looked around, wondering if Claire was around too.

I looked at Quil, "Claire here?" He only shook his head.

"She's with her parents, they decided that this summer would be a great time to visit some family, they'll be back next week I think."

I looked at the miserable expression on Quil's face, it almost made me not want to tell everyone about my day, my time with Dawn, but I couldn't help myself. I sat on the floor, leaning against the corner of the couch, when they Velcro scratched at my legs I realized I was still wearing the borrowed sandals that Jasper had loaned me. I saw Jake sink into our old ugly recliner that had been saved from Quil's parent's basement.

"Today was the best day ever!" I laughed, wanting to explode, so happy. I saw Kim come over, handing out bowls of popcorn as she passed before sitting on the couch, Jared pulling her onto his lap. "We walked, we talked, she invited me over again, and not once did she seem weirded out by me." I grinned again, grabbing a handful of popcorn.

"Well, she didn't invite you over," Jake was laughing, "she said you could tag along with me when I came to see Nessie."

I sat there, stunned, Quil and Jared laughed. "But she was looking right at me when she said it, I know it was meant for me." I grinned smugly, "She just didn't' want to seem too eager, especially in front of everyone there."

I saw Kim look at me, a softness in her eyes, "I'm glad you finally got to spend some time with her, are you going to invite her to the Fourth of July bonfire?"

I shrugged, I didn't have an answer yet, "I'm not sure, I'd like to, it's such a pack tradition," and it was, not just the histories told by the Elders, but it was where we could all be ourselves, introduce our imprints to the pack, not have to worry about hiding who we were or what we were. "It's still a week or two away, I'll just play it by ear, as much as I'd like to, to introduce her to everyone, I think it might be too much for her still." I felt my face sag, realizing again how different Dawn was from everyone else, even Nessie.

"Well either way, I hope everything works itself out." Kim looked back up at Jared; love shining in her eyes, the same love reflected in his to her, "I can't imagine how hard it is for you, how difficult it must be to be so close and so far from her. I don't envy your situation."

I reached up scratching my head, "At this rate I figure we'll have our first kiss in," I paused, pretending to think, tapping out my fingers, "five, maybe six years." I laughed with everyone, but it hurt too, everyone else could tell their imprints about themselves, well maybe not all about themselves in Claire and Quil's case, but they could at least spend time with them, have a relationship with them. With me and Dawn it was just a series of mountains and valleys, I knew I was walking a very fine line, on one side was my desire to spend time with her, to see her, to protect and take care of her, on the other was the knowledge that who I was, what I was had tortured her, that I was the object of her nightmares.

I stood, I could see the understanding in Jacob's eyes, yawning loudly, "Night all, try to keep it down."

I heard Quil answer, "see you in a few hours, I'm on patrol with you tonight, you setting an alarm or want me to wake you?"

I asked Quil to wake me, knowing that it might involve squirt guns and being physically thrown out of bed, but I was too tired to think about an alarm clock, and as tired as I as I was afraid I wouldn't hear it anyway.

I was asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow, my last thoughts being of the time I spent with her, the way she had held my hand, the way her eyes seemed to see only me. I know I was smiling as I slept.

"Is it hard, being that close to Claire, spending all your time with her and not being able to tell her everything, keeping that part of you a secret?"

I was on patrol with Quil, there were a few similarities between his and Claire's imprinting that I figured he might be able to help me figure out some of what I was dealing with when it came to Dawn.

"Nah, it's not really an issue, she's too young to really understand, she knows that I work for the tribe, that I have weird hours, and that sometimes there are 'emergencies at work' and that I have to leave in a hurry, but she doesn't know the wolf-thing, and she doesn't know I've imprinted. Her parents do, they don't always like it, but they understand."

I knew it wasn't funny, but it really was. Claire's parents came to Sam and the tribal elders, complaining that Quil was spending too much time with Claire, that they didn't like that he, a teen at the time was wanting to spend so much time with their then toddler daughter. Quil was horrified when he realized that they would think he would do anything to harm Claire. Sam and the Elders had to let Claire's parents know what was going on. Claire's parents took it well enough, knowing that Quil didn't have any ill intent, but sometimes they still struggled with finding the right balance, wanting Claire to have a normal childhood, have friends her own age, but tempering that with Quil being in her life, her tie to the pack. I'm sure it was difficult for him at times.

"When do you think you'll tell her?"

"I'm not sure yet, when she's older, when she'll be able to understand. But until then, until anything changes, why tell her anymore than she needs to know. I'm happy to be the awesome, fun uncle that takes her to the beach, that baby-sits, that goes to her school functions, until either one of us are ready it will never be more than that."

I knew that was true, the others who imprinted, their love was a devotional love, a protectiveness, just like mine and Quils, but for them it was also a romantic love. We could all tell with Jake and Nessie that their imprint was maturing. That until Nessie was older, well in development and emotional maturity, even if not in age, that their love had been one of mutual adoration, but not one of romance, but lately it had begun to turn, that it was something Jake struggled with, that he didn't want to push her, he didn't want her to feel obligated to him because he had always been there for her. I knew it was like for Quil also, that right now at least, it wasn't a romantic love that tied him to Claire; it really was more of a big brother protectiveness.

"You and Jake really think that don't you, that it has to be mutual, that both the imprinted and the imprinter have to want it to be something more than just a protectiveness for anything to happen?"

I could see that Quil had stopped walking his patrol, investigating a new scent. I stayed on my course, knowing that if he needed me I wasn't very far. I could see that he identified it, just more hikers, setting up camp in a non-marked area.

"We do, you can't force someone to love you, imprint or not. Do I hope that when she's old enough Claire will want to spend her life with me, of course I do, just like Jacob wants Nessie to make the same choice, and I'm sure if you were honest with yourself you hope that with you and Dawn. Will it hurt me if Claire chooses not to be with me, it will, but ultimately I love her enough to want her happy, whatever she may or may not choose. I think what happened with Jake and Nessie will happen with me and Claire though, that having spent some much time together, that having some much history, and the love, the devotion, all of it, she'll love me."

"So you're big master plan is to just wear her down?" I thought it as I laughed to myself.

"Well that's not the way would phrase it, of course she gets to choose," I could see him puffing his chest out, "but why wouldn't she choose this?"

"Thanks Quil, that helps a lot." I finished my loop, crossing through the woods by the Cullen house, checking Dawn's window, her scent in the air, I could picture her in there, wrapped in a blanket, even in the summer, sleeping.

"Really Em, I didn't need to think that." Quil's thoughts filled my head. "But I am glad you got to spend time her, when do you think you'll tell her?"

I thought for a while, deciding that Quil's answer was the best, "I don't know, someday, when she can understand." I just wasn't sure that that day would ever come.

I stayed on patrol, looping through town, detouring to pass by Bella's fathers house. I knew that he had some idea of who we were, but I think he preferred to stay in the dark, he was happy to have Bella in his life, no matter what she was, and he loved Nessie. Whatever he knew, or didn't know, I knew that he would keep our secrets. Jacob had phased in front of him once, I think her dad was more upset by seeing Jacob naked than by seeing him transfer into a werewolf. But he was still friends with Billy, Jacob's dad, and for a while we thought there might be something developing between him and Leah and Seth's mom, but I think they decided it was better to be friends.

My route also took me through the western border of the reservation. I slowed down when I reached the tribal lands, not just to walk the border, but also to also really take a look at everything. I remembered back to when Sam first came to us, the members of the pack, telling us that since we were all having a hard time finding jobs and keeping them due to all of our pack responsibilities, that the tribe was going to hire us. We thought that he was kidding at first, but he wasn't. He had gone to the tribal council, sharing his fears that as a pack we might get weaker, that he worried about all of us, himself included, of how we could perform our duties to the tribe, when we were worried how we'd be able to pay our bills. Sam and the elders worked out a system that they would hire all of us that wanted to be employed by them, that we would be the "Tribal security force" we were responsible for our regular wolf duties, but we also helped out at the school, especially during dances, sports games, things of that nature, and we also do a lot of the maintenance. I'm sure that anyone seeing us work would have thought we were all brothers, the way we all argued, teased, and messed around, but Sam wasn't only just a great Alpha, he was a great crew leader. It was also surprising how creative we could be when we wanted to. As a crew we had done a lot of work to improve the trails, the beach, we worked as lifeguards, and we even built a summer pavilion.

I didn't notice anything out of place on patrol, I checked in with Quil, he had taken the more northern loop, but it was all quiet for him as well.

I couldn't help but have my thoughts return to Dawn during the night, hoping that I would see her again soon, that she had liked spending time with me as much as I had liked spending time with her. I hoped Jake had plans to see Nessie later today so I could come over with him. I wondered if Jake had been right earlier, that maybe I could check with Sam and with Carlisle. Dawn seemed to be getting better, seemed to be doing really well, but I didn't want to be responsible for any slow down in her recovery.

I knew when I got off my shift today the pack would be working on the beach clean up and etting things ready for the Fourth of July weekend. I hoped there would be time during that to talk.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

"Emmett, I swear if I could catch you I would beat you!" I was glad Emmett and Rosalie had come home, even if Alice and Jasper had left a few days later to 'run errands in Seattle,' but Emmett could be so Emmett-like at times, it was frustrating. I had been sitting on the back porch, minding my own business, reading. I didn't even hear him sneak up behind me only when he snatched the book out of my hands and took off running in the backyard.

"Well maybe if you paid attention and stopped thinking about Embry so much." The way he said it, the way he drew out the name made me want to scream! "I shouldn't be able to sneak up on you. I saw him smile, this was bad, he had an idea. He came over, clapping his hands together, my stolen book all but forgotten. "You've got some vamp in you, some werewolf too. . ." I could see that he was thinking. "I wondering if that means you are more like us than you want to admit."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, was he being serious? What could he possibly be thinking? I looked behind me, debating if I should just go in the house, let Esme tell him to leave me alone, or just indulge him a little. "Alright, what are you talking about?"

He looked at me again, grinning, and threw my book at me. I snatched it from the air, trying to smooth the pages back down. "Did you see that, I even threw it with some heat, and it didn't phase you."

I shook my hand, I could feel the sting, "It phased me a little," I held up my hand for him to see it has a little red.

He came right over, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to hurt you." I laughed out loud at the expression on his face. "You stay right here, I'll be right back." And he was gone, a blur running into the house. I barely had time to spin around to watch him leave before he was coming back outside. "Here, put this on." He handed me a baseball glove, it felt stiff on my hand, and I doubted he had ever worn it. He also pulled a baseball cap out of his back pocket, a big "C" on the front, "there, now you're an official member of 'Team Cullen.'

I groaned, rolling my eyes, but trying to humor him. "Em, I don't know how to play."

He just stared at me, "I'll teach you, it's an all-American tradition, baseball, hot dogs, the 4th of July, fireworks, picnics, even ice cream." I said nothing, but realizing this was why Nessie had been so excited lately, looking forward to spending this holiday with Jacob and his friends. "I'll take an easy on you, just some soft throws, but I bet you're stronger than you think." He reached out, pulling the bill of my hat down, covering my eyes with it, and laughing as he turned, jogging away from me. "Throw the ball to me now."

I adjusted my hat, reached my arm back and threw it. I meant for it to go to Emmett, but it went way to the right, he dove and still caught it. "Alright, not bad, not good, but not bad. This time I'm going to throw it to you, as soon as you catch it throw it right back, aim it right for me."

I caught it, knowing that he was throwing pretty softly. I dug it out of my glove, throwing it right back, grinning as I aimed for his face. He caught it easily. We went back and forth for a while, him coaching me, telling me that he still thought that I must have some untapped abilities that he couldn't believe that nothing had rubbed off on me. I had to stop after a while, he might be able to stand outside in the sun all day, but I needed a drink.

"Can we stop for a minute, I'm dyin' over here."

He ran over to me, "You ok?" I laughed at the look on his face, telling him that I was, I was just thirty and needed to sit in the shade for a minute.

He walked with me in the house, as I gulped some lemonade I had an idea, "Do you care if I call Ness, see if she wants to play too?"

"That's a wonderful idea." I grinned, jumping out of my seat, hugging Alice as she walked in the house. She hugged me back, her eyes going glassy as she looked at something that wasn't there, "Tonight would be a great night for a game."

I saw Jasper and Emmett grin, "I'll call Ness so she can help me practice, and she can let her parents know." I jumped up running to the phone. Carlisle and Esme came into the kitchen, to see what the excitement was about. I hung up, "She'll be here in a few minutes, and she wants to know if it's alright if Jacob and Embry play, they were on their way over?" I grinned inwardly, I had seen Embry a few times over the last week or so, he was becoming a really good friend, and I really liked spending time with him.

Carlisle took a second before he spoke, "It's fine if they want to play, especially since you girls are," he looked at Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie who had also joined us, "we're just all going to have to remember to play nice." I wasn't sure what he meant, but I assumed that it meant they couldn't use their unnatural talent to win.

"Great, Em, come on." I grabbed at his hand, "I need some more practice." I rinsed my glass, putting it into the dishwasher. That's where Nessie and her family found us when they come up the walk. Nessie held up her own glove coming to stand beside me.

She whispered to me, "They'll be here in a few minutes, I called them when I got off the phone with you, they had to turn around back to La Push to get their gloves."

Emmett threw the ball to me, "Are we playing catch or are you just going to talk about boys?" I heard the teasing tone, but I grabbed the ball and really threw it that time.

"That's what I'm talking about!" He had caught it easily; I looked at him a question on my face. "That one had some heat!"

I saw Jasper and Carlisle load a bag of gear and equipment into the back of Emmett's Jeep. "We're not playing here?"

Ness answered, "Nope, we go up into the meadow, you'll understand why when we get there."

I turned my head, seeing a flash of red through the trees, Jacob and Embry were here. Nessie ran over, wrapping Jacob in a hug. I stayed where I was, waving to Embry as I caught Emmett's throw. I could feel the heat on my face, knowing that he was walking over to me. "Hey Dawn, I didn't know you played."

I threw the ball back to Emmett, "I don't, I just learned how." I smiled at him, "I'm glad you and Jake came, maybe you can be on my team." I knew, my face had to be flame red, what was I saying, why was I always so tongue-tied around him? I wasn't like that around anyone else, not even Jake who I had seen everyday of the last week.

Esme whistled loudly, getting everyone's attention, she waved her arms, calling us all over. "Here's the plan, Emmett will drive Nessie, Dawn, Jake, and Embry with the gear, the rest of us will run. We'll divide teams when we get there." I saw her smiling at me, "We have players of different abilities, so we're going to have to remember that when it's her turn." I knew she meant me, but what about Embry and Jake, surely they couldn't play at the same level of speed and strength as the Cullens. I made eye contact with Edward, I knew he could see my question, but he only looked at me smiling. Esme was still speaking, "Any questions?"

Everyone shook their heads, I heard Emmett's voice as I felt him lift me into the Jeep, "get in, get in" he was looking at Embry, Jake and Nessie. He looked to Edward, Bella, and everyone else that was running there, "Race ya!" He jumped into the drivers seat, slamming on the gas, I looked to see everyone but they were already blurs heading to the woods. I tried frantically to fasten my safety harness, finally giving up, my hands clutching the seat instead. I looked over; Embry was next to me, Nessie in the front a giant grin on her face, her hair as wild in the wind as mine was. I saw Embry's hand clutching at the seat also, he looked at me, mouthing that Emmett was crazy. I shook my head, but I knew Emmett was a great driver, he reflexes mixed with his experience, but I didn't know that I would ever get used to any of the Cullen's driving. I let my hand slide over, intertwining my pinky finger with his.


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

I couldn't believe it, I was sitting next to Dawn, flying down the road, then up and down off road trails, holding her hand, while a crazed vampire was driving to a baseball game. If I had been so focused on her touch I would have laughed at the absurdity of the situation.

I could see that we lost; everyone was waiting for us when we got there. Edward came over, grabbing the bag of gear as we all stumbled out. I loved the feeling of Dawn's hand on my shoulder, her leaning on me, needed to get firm footing after the ride.

"Alright, huddle up." I looked over; Esme had a clipboard in hand, everyone circling around her. "Two teams, I already divided, making them as fair as I could." I saw her look to Jake and I, "I separated these two, and Dawn and Nessie, trying to even it out." She looked meaningfully at her brood, "Dawn hasn't played before, take it easy, I'm sure there will be time later for you to play 'Cullen-style'." She divided us into teams; Carlisle, Dawn, me, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice together, Edward, Bella, Nessie, Jake, Rosalie on the other. Esme was the umpire.

Our team was up to back first, they may have had fewer players, but Dawn was too excited to have to wait. Emmett walked with her up to home plate, showing her how to stand, how to dig in. I couldn't keep my eyes off her, watching the smile on her face, the sparkle as she listened to Emmett. Rosalie was pitching, she tossed her a soft underhanded throw, she swung, and it was a hit! I yelled, cheering for her, I could hear the rest of our team telling her to run. Emmett finally gave up, taking her by the hand and running with her to first base, then second. Bella retrieved the ball from center field, I knew they were all letting her play, that it would have been an easy catch, that if it had been anyone else at bat it would have been an out.

I was up next; I kept my eye on Dawn. I saw Emmett whispering in her ear, she grinned. Rosalie wound up, I swung and missed! Rosalie smirked, "too fast for ya mutt?" I tore my eyes from Dawn, digging into a good stance, not wanting Rosalie's attitude to dampen Dawn's enthusiasm. I watched her wind up; I swung before I saw the release. It wasn't a great hit, but I think it surprised everyone. Dawn was able to get home, I stayed at first. I saw Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper laughing, Alice rolling her eyes. Dawn hadn't rounded the bases; Emmett had put her on his back and run the bases for her.

I felt something in the pit of my stomach, not jealousy, not in the traditional sense. I knew that of everyone in the house, of all her 'siblings' Dawn was the closest with Alice and Emmett, and with Alice and Jasper having been gone for a few days that Dawn had spent most of her time that she wasn't with me, or Nessie with him. I was jealous of their closeness, the ease at which they interacted with each other, I envied that.

A couple more hits, with Dawn not on the field their competitiveness really came out, I was tagged out by a laughing Edward, Bella caught a fly ball from Carlisle, Alice hit right to Jake who dropped the ball, shaking the sting from his hands. She stole every base after first, giving us our second point. Jasper was up to bat, I saw Edward disappear into the woods, the crack of the bat and the ball was gone. Jasper was rounding second when Edward came forward, the ball in his hand.

I saw Carlisle and Emmett with their heads together, the rest of my team taking their places in the field. Alice on the pitchers mound, I took first, Jasper was in center field. Carlisle took third; Emmett took right field with Dawn, forcing Jasper closer to left. I was glad Dawn was behind me, hopefully if anything starting coming her way I could intercept it first, and I would be able to focus if I wasn't too busy looking at her.

I watched Alice wind up, the release, and the thunderous clap as Nessie made contact. She shot off like a rocket, Jasper tossed the ball to me, I braced, knowing she was going to plow into me. She knocked me down, knocked the wind right out of me, but Esme called her safe. Nessie stood, brushing the dirt from her uniform; she stuck her tongue out, "you should be happy I took an easy on you."

By the end of the first inning it was tied, Nessie and Edward made it home; Jake struck out much to Rosalie's delight. Bella was tagged out by Carlisle, and Emmett caught Rosalie's fly ball by climbing a tree.

I turned to Dawn as we waited for our turns at bat, "What do you think? Having fun?"

She nodded, her eyes as big as silver dollars, "this is nothing like watching it on TV." The innocence of comment made everyone laugh. I saw her reach under the bench pulling out a bottle of water, she took a long pull, handing it to me when she was done, "Want some?" I gladly took it from her, ignoring the looks I was getting from Emmett. Alice sat next to me, as Dawn took her place at the plate, "I know about the imprint." I looked at her, I knew the Cullen family knew about it, how could they not after that awful night that Dawn thought Jacob was there to kill her. "I know you care about her, want to protect her and keep her safe." I looked at Alice not knowing where she was going with this.

"And?" I shook my head at Alice, what was she trying to say? Was she implying that I was going to do something to hurt her? "Spit it out, I'm up next."

"I think you should ask her on a date." Alice smiled at me, her face lighten up at the idea. "You two could double with me and Jasper." She laughed; I rolled my eyes, standing to leave. "Ok, maybe not with me and Jasper, but with Jake and Nessie."

I don't know if it was Rosalie's pitching or my distraction with what Alice had said, but I struck out. I sucked in a deep breath, coming to stand next to Carlisle, thankful that Dawn had made it to first base and Emmett was still on third. I didn't need her 'big brother' adding his commentary. "Carlisle," he looked at me, I almost stopped, this was like asking her father's permission to date her. I closed my eyes briefly, taking a deep breath again, it hit me that not once had I smelled vampire scent since arriving at the field, knowing that because Dawn perceived the unpleasantness we all felt about each others scents she was absorbing it. "Carlisle, I'd really like to ask Dawn out, invite her to dinner tonight." I saw him smile, looking over my head.

I felt Emmett walking up behind me, his voice booming out, "I don't know, it is a school night and all." I didn't know if I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me, knowing that everyone, well everyone except Dawn heard him, or if I wanted to deck him.

I looked at Carlisle again, hoping he could put me out of my misery by answering, "I just wanted to ask you first, make sure you thought she would be up for it, I don't want to rush her and hinder any progress she's make."

"I appreciate that, I really do, but there's no reason to think that going out would be harmful. Just keep an eye on her, if she's getting overwhelmed bring her straight home." He looked at Esme, "Just be careful with her, she's family." I knew it wasn't a threat of any kind, just a reminder that they loved her too.

I saw Jake's team coming in, as I passed him I pulled him aside quickly, telling him that I needed to borrow his car. Nessie came over, "We should just double! After the game go for pizza." She grinned up at me, enjoying my slight embarrassment.

"Maybe, I gotta ask her first." I shook my head, this family made wanting to date a member very difficult. I ran off, taking my place at first. I barely paid attention, almost getting beamed by the ball when Bella was up.

The inning ended and I still hadn't decided how I was going to ask Dawn, I lingered waiting for her to catch up to me as she and Emmett came in from right field. I saw Nessie and Jake coming towards us, Jake trying to hold in laughter, Nessie looking at Emmett. "Uncle Emmett," I knew that voice, that was the voice Nessie used when she wanted something. "I'm getting a little tired of playing, but I don't want the game to have to be over just because I don't want to play anymore. I think Dawn's looking a little worn out too. Would it be alright if Jake borrowed your Jeep to take us home." I looked at her, was she crazy, Emmett would never hand the keys over to Jake. I saw Emmett look at Nessie, look back to Dawn, taking in the look on my face.

He reached in his pocket pulling out the keys, handing them to Jake, "if you get one scratch on it I'll know." He winked at me, "Dawn, you should have them take you into Port Angeles, top off the baseball game with another American classic, pizza."

I was mortified, completely mortified. Didn't anyone think I was capable of asking her out on my own? I hung my head; it was too much, all I wanted to do was get out of there. When Dawn spoke it made it all worth it, "That sounds great, Embry, you're going to come with us aren't you?" It was like music to my ears. I shook my head yes, not trusting my voice. "Let me just run over and let Esme know where I'm going." She ran off to the dugouts, I could see everyone grinning and laughing in my direction, well maybe not everyone, but I don't think anything I would ever do would be enough to make Rosalie thaw towards us.

"Thanks Emmett, I guess, and you too Nessie." The three of them howled with laughter, I turned walking towards the Jeep. Nessie and Jake followed me. I watched as Emmett ran over to Dawn, incepting her before she got to the Jeep. He whispered something to her too low for me to hear, reaching into his pocket. It was hard to see her, he was blocking my view. I saw her reach up, hugging his neck before turning to us in the Jeep.

I was waiting, opening the door for her when she walked up. She slid over, making room for me to sit.


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

I slid over making room for Embry to sit next to me, making eye contact with Nessie in the front seat. I knew I was smiling, but I couldn't help it.

"Do you two need to stop by your house for anything or do you just want to go from here?" I heard Jakes voice. I looked at what we were all wearing, my jeans and borrowed team Cullen hat and shirt, Nessie in her baseball uniform, Jake and Embry in their usual shorts and black t-shirts.

I didn't want to go home, but I wasn't sure what we were wearing would be appropriate for where we were going. "Can we go dressed like this?"

Nessie laughed, "of course, it's, well you'll see it when we get there." She turned to Jake, playing with the radio knobs until she found the station she liked. I settled in my seat, hearing, but not listening.

I looked at Embry, he was still by and large a mystery to me. We had talked more, spent more time together, I liked spending time with him, I was pretty sure he liked spending time with me too, but there was always an underlying current of something. I wasn't sure what, but it felt like he was hiding something from me. I started laughing, I couldn't stop myself. I remembered talking with Alice, wondering if as a shape shifter what Embry and Jake were, laughing harder as I remembered wondering if they were squirrels. "Squirrels" the word squeaked out, I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I laughed harder, I was sure they were wondering what was wrong with me.

I saw Embry and Ness look out the windows, Jakes voice coming back from the driver's seat, "Dawn I don't see anything."

That made it worse, I could barely breath. I hiccupped, trying to control my laughter, I looked at Embry, and then at Jake, my head turning between the two of them, "Are you two squirrels?" I laughed some more, I couldn't stop, and I wasn't able to explain, my voice cracking with laughter. I took a deep breath, trying again. I pointed at the both of them, "Your animal when you shift, are you two squirrels?" I lost it again as I spoke, the last word coming out in a high-pitched squeak. I could see the shock on Embry's face, but Nessie burst out laughing.

"No we aren't squirrels." Jake's voice filled the Jeep. He didn't sound like he thought it was as funny as Ness and I did.

I got my laughter under control, "Then what are you?" The jeep went silent, as if someone had sucked all the air out of it.

I could see Embry and Jake exchanging glances, even Ness turned to face forward. Embry gave Jake a final look, and then turned to face me. I felt his warm hand on mine, "It's not something we really talk about, that we share with a lot of people."

I looked into his eyes, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was a secret, that I wasn't allowed to know." I looked down, feeling bad about my earlier laughter.

Embry reached out, taking my chin in his hand, turning my head to face him. "It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's that it's hard to explain, hard for people to understand."

I nodded, but I still didn't understand, not really. Why the big secret, I knew they were shape shifters, I had told Embry about myself, well not all of it, but enough for him to know what brought me here. Heck I was adopted by a family of vampires, why did he think it would be so hard for me to know the truth about him? I could tell that it was a difficult subject for him, so I let it drop, knowing that as soon as I got home and was alone with Ness I'd ask her.

"Ok, I'm sorry, I won't bring it up again." I saw the relief on his face.

Nessie broke the silence that had come over the Jeep, "have you ever eaten pizza Dawn?" I shook my head, I had seen it, smelled it when out at restaurants or shopping with Esme, Alice, and everyone else, but I had never eaten it.

"Nope, it looks alright, and smells great, but the descriptions are always that it's just sauce, cheese, and other stuff on dough. Sounds like an open faced sandwich to me."

It was their turn to laugh at me now, "No, no it's not like that at all." Jacob caught my eye in the rearview mirror, "it's, it's, well it's hard to describe, but it's one of the best foods out there."

I saw Nessie laugh at him, "you say that about everything, I don't think there's anything that you've ever eaten that wasn't 'one of the best foods', with your stomach you'd probably think snails were tasty."

I made a face; looking at Embry he was making a similar face. "Can we not talk about eating snails in the same sentence as talking about the wonderful deliciousness that is pizza?"

I listen to Embry and Jake discuss the perfect pizza and what made one type better then the other, them debating the different types of toppings and the different applications of toppings to either improve or ruin a pizza. When we pulled up to the pizza place it was already getting dark. We walked in, picking a table in the back. I picked up a menu, not knowing or caring what we ordered.

Jake and Embry continued to debate the merits of different toppings, decided when the waitress came to order a plain pepperoni, telling me that it was the standard pizza topping. I laughed at the names of the pizzas, as they ordered a 'mighty meaty' and a 'Seattle Super."

I stood after the server left, excusing myself to the restroom, wanting to wash the dirt from the field off my hands. Nessie stood, telling me she would show me where it was. As soon as we were both away from the table Ness started talking, "You and Embry look like you're having fun." She wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

"We are he's very nice, very warm." I pushed open the bathroom door, washing my hands; "I hope I didn't make him mad, asking if he was a squirrel." I giggled when I saw Ness laugh.

"Nah, it would take more than that to get him upset, besides I think he really likes you."

I dropped the paper towel in the garbage, "You think so?"

She nodded, "You may not see the way he looks at you but I do." She looked at me a smiling breaking out across her face, she held up her hands, "may I?"

I knew what she was asking, if she could show me what she saw, her memories of Embry looking at me. I took a step closer to her, pulling my hair back, my hat forgotten in the car. She brought her hands to my face, laying them on my cheeks.

I could see him looking at me, smiling, a look of pure contentment on his face, him looking at me when I was up to bat. The image shifted, it was from a few days ago, he was walking up the path ahead of Jake and Ness, coming to see me. I could see myself sitting on the porch, stretched out enjoying the feeling of the sun on my face, on my arms, having taken off my shirt and sitting in a tank top. I saw the look of compassion on his face when he saw my scars glittering in the sun. My breath caught, I pulled my face back. My voice a whisper, "He didn't tell me he saw them." I gestured to the scars.

Nessie was suddenly serious, "He doesn't care, I don't think he sees them when he sees you. He just sees you, you Dawn, the girl he wants to spend time with, talk to, eat pizza with." She smiled the last part.

I realized we had been gone from the table for a while, I hugged Nessie, "Thank you for showing me that."

We came back to the table, interrupting Embry and Jake discussing whose team won today. I looked at both of them, "We did of course." I saw them both look at me, a smile on Embry's face. I look of disbelief on Jakes.

"Can you explain that please?"

"Sure," I looked at Jake, "We did, do you really think my team could loose, we had Embry, Emmett, Alice, and of course me." I stuck my tongue out, daring him to argue with me.

I saw Jake start to open his mouth, but close it when two servers carrying three very large disks of pizza started walking towards out table. After she had placed them down, she looked at the four of us, one slice on my plate, three on Embry's, three on Jakes, Nessie's plate empty. "Are you sure I can't bring you a box?" Embry and Jake both shook their heads, already taking their first bites.

Nessie looked at the server, "These two don't leave anything to take home," she smiled sweetly, "but if you wouldn't mind bringing us a pitcher of soda that would be great."

I looked down at my slice, not sure what to make of it at first. It looked like; well I wasn't exactly sure what it looked like. It smelled good. I picked it, taking my first bite. It was AMAZING, now I understood why Jake had said it was one of the best foods ever. I picked a slice of pepperoni off, eating it without the cheese or crust. It was divine, the spice, the greasiness, the texture. I looked around, suddenly aware of three sets of eyes on me.

"Dawn, you eat it, you don't 'experience' it." Nessie was shaking her head at me, "it's just food," she wrinkled her nose, "I can think of other things that are better than pizza."

I knew what she was talking about, I shook my head, spitting tongue out in disgust and disagreement, "This is wonderful, I have to tell Esme about this, I could eat this everyday!"

Embry and Jake laughed; too busy stuffing more pizza in their mouths to talk. I didn't even want to try to the other types, the slice of pepperoni having been enough to convince me that pizza was everything they had said it would be.

Nessie had been right much to the surprise of our server, no boxes were need, all that was left were a few crusts. The server placed a white paper facedown on the table next to Jake. As soon as I saw it I remembered what Emmett had told me before I left the field, I reached out grabbing it, clutching it to my chest when Jake tried to take it out of my hands, and smacking Jake in the face.

Jake looked at me in shock as I stood up, taking the paper to the server and handing her the amount that was on the bottom. I came back to the table, sitting next to Embry I reached over slapping him next.

Nessie was crying with laughter, sitting across from Embry. I saw Embry and Jake exchanging looks, both of them to look at me. "What the hell was that?"

I looked at them, looked at Nessie in the corner of the booth, "Emmett said that was what I was supposed to do, it was an American tradition, you wrestled for the check, the girl always pays and then she has to slap the guys so they knew she had fun." I saw the laughter in both their eyes, "Why did I do it wrong?"

Embry laughed, putting his around my shoulders, he stretched, "Emmett was just being funny," he laughed again, "traditionally we you go on a date the guy pays, there is no slapping, and if you had a good time you just use words to express it, not slaps."

"Oh" I looked at their faces, laughing with them, but knowing that when I got home someone was going to be getting a slap of their own.

We left, walking outside, the air warm after being in the air conditioning. I heard some loud noises in the distance, jumping at the sudden noise. "Its just firecrackers, noisemakers for the Fourth."

I saw Nessie slip her hand in jakes, pulling him across the street to a gift shop. "We'll be right back, I just want to look for something."

I turned to Embry, "how about a walk, I'm not ready to go home yet." I saw the surprise on his face, but then a smile spread from his mouth to his eyes.

"Sounds great, I can play guide for you." I feel into step beside him, I didn't let myself think about it, I knew if I did I would talk myself out of it. I reached over slightly, putting my hand in his. His hand was still at first, but then he wrapped his hand around mine.

We didn't walk too far, wanting to stay within sight of the gift shop Nessie and Jake were in. There wasn't a lot to see, most of the shops had already closed for the night. We crossed the street, walking back towards where ness and Jake had gone in the store. I saw something streak across the sky, I turned towards Embry, "was that a star? I've never seen anything like it."

I could see him shake his head, "No it was a streamer, like fireworks, just people getting excited about the weekend."

I spun around, my head still thrown back, looking to see if there were anymore. "They're beautiful, and in two days they'll be more of them, right?" I was in awe; I had never seen anything like them.

I came to a stop in front of Embry, facing him, my left hand still twined with his right one. He lifted his left hand, brushing hair from my eye, laying it on my shoulder, letting it fall down my arm until he was holding both my hands. I was suddenly aware of close we were, how hot the night was, how fast my heart was beating. I looked at him, seeing the look in his eyes as he searched my face. "Why don't you come with me, come to the reservation for the fourth, spend the day with me, and we can watch the fireworks together on the beach." I squeezed his hands, then let go, wrapping my arms around him instead. My face buried in his neck, the scent almost intoxicating, the elusive scent of woods and ocean.

I pulled my head back, nodding. "That would be awesome." I let out a sigh, Embry, fireworks, the beach, it all sounded so wonderful.


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Oh. My. God. What had I just done?

I could see Dawn's face shining up at me, the excitement in her eyes, the feel of her arms wrapped around me. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, breathing in the smoky woodsy scent of her. I could smell her shampoo; the fruitiness of it added another layer. I wanted time to stop then, to stay like that forever. She felt so good in my arms, like she was made to be there.

Dawn let go first, pulling back, "Hey Ness," she waved her hand getting their attention, "did you find what you were looking for?" I saw Jake shoot me a look; I'm sure he and Nessie had missed that Dawn and I had been embracing in the middle of the sidewalk. I groaned inwardly, knowing that before the end of his next patrol the entire pack would know about it. That was secondary to the dread that was already surrounding me, feeling like a leaded weight in the pit of my stomach.

I cleared my throat, not looking forward to taking Dawn home, but knowing that I didn't want to keep her out to late and deal with her family, especially after having invited her to spend the day with a pack of wolves. I swallowed the dread again, maybe Carlisle and Esme would tell her no. I knew it was wrong, I didn't want to see Dawn disappointed and I did want her to come to the pack bonfire, but I didn't want to have to admit to Jake, and to Sam, that I had invited her. I wasn't sure that she should be there. I wanted her there, wanted to share the day with her, be the one to introduce her to the wonder, the beauty of fireworks in Independence Day, but I also wasn't sure how well it would go over, her and the pack.

I shook it off, decided to enjoy the rest of my time with Dawn. Once we dropped them off I'm sure Jake would kill me anyway. Unless of course Carlisle, Emmett, Esme, or any other member got to me first. What had I been thinking? I shook my head, thinking that all I had wanted was to make her happy.

"What did you get?" Dawn's voice brought me out of imagining my demise.

I heard the teasing in Nessie's voice, "It's a surprise, I'll show you later, but look at this." Nessie pulled a stuffed animal out of a different bag, "I saw this and thought you might like it." She handed it to Dawn who started laughing.

I looked over, it was a stuffed squirrel. "What are you going to name him?" I swallowed the dread that was creeping back up over me. "I think he needs a name, something worthy of being confused for being me."

I saw Jake rolling his eyes at my cheesiness, but I didn't care, I was sure after tonight I wouldn't be spending as much time alone with Dawn for a while. "How about Nutley, or Nutso, you know, so it will remind you of Embry."

Dawn shook her head at Jake's suggestion, Nessie suggested a few names, but Dawn shook her head at them too, "I don't know what I'll name him, I'll have to think about it for a while, but I'll figure something out, something that suits him." I laughed watching her tuck him under the jeeps safety straps.

I saw her smile at me, laying her hand in the space between us, I reached my hand out, locking our fingers together and smiling at her. It was nice, the comfortable silence that filled the Jeep, interrupted only when Nessie turned the radio on, but the volume low.

The scenery flew by, too late to see anything, but I was too focused on sitting there with Dawn, enjoying the moment, trying not to think about what was going to happen when I brought her home.

Dawn sat up, looking out the window; I looked, seeing what she saw. It was the sign announcing that we were only a few miles from Forks, and 20 miles from La Push.

"You coming over tomorrow?" It was an innocent enough question, but I wanted to answer before Jacob.

"I can't." I saw the look of disappointment on Dawn's face, but I knew tomorrow I would still be recovering from whatever was unleashed on me after Jake and I left her house. "I have to work, I'm pretty sure Sam, my boss, will have me pretty busy getting everything ready for Saturday." As soon as I said those words I wanted to put them back in my mouth. I saw the look on Dawn's face, the smile, the happiness, but all I could feel was dread.

"OK, well I'll see you Saturday then." I felt the Jeep jerk to one side, the gravel kicking up when Jake had swerved off the road in surprise of what she said. Jacob's eyes narrowing as he looked at me. I could feel the tension, but thankfully Dawn didn't notice it.

There was shock on Nessie's face when she turned around, looking at us. She was momentarily speechless, "You," she tried again, "You're coming to the bonfire?" I could see the smile, the bemused look on her face as she looked at me. All I wanted was for the ground to open up and swallow me.

I saw Dawn nod her head happily, "Embry asked me to go with him, watch the fireworks together."

I didn't want to say it, I knew that it would hurt her feelings that she would think badly of me but I was still trying to save myself from some of the pack's anger. "Well Dawn still needs to ask permission."

I felt Dawn squeeze my hand, the smile still in her face, "I'm sure it will be fine, everyone seems to like you, to trust you, they know I'm safe with you." If only she had known how those words would have cut, she would have never said them.

I was almost happy when we pulled up the Cullens drive, my thoughts on how I was going to explain myself, to hoping that Emmett might not be there. I knew he and Dawn were close, that he might be the big brother that would teach her to place baseball, but he was also the big brother that would rip out my spine if he thought I ever hurt her. I could picture Alice and Jasper too, if anything ever happened to Dawn when she was with me, I had seen their teamwork first hand. I shuddered, hopefully Dawn and Nessie would just go straight inside when we pulled up, Jake could hand Nessie the keys to give to her giant uncle and Jake and I could jump in his car. I'd rather deal with the pack than have to face Dawn's family.

"Are you ok?" Dawn's voice pulling me back to the moment, "You kinda spaced out when we pulled in the driveway, everyone is staring at you."

I groaned, realizing that while trying to plan my escape, Jake had stopped driving, that he and Nessie had gotten out of the car, and EVERYONE in Dawn and Nessie's family had come out to welcome us back. I felt like a lamb to the slaughter.

I stumbled out of the car, just trying to leave gracefully. Dawn jumped out of the Jeep with me, smiling up to Esme and Alice, "Embry invited me to the bonfire Saturday." I couldn't bring myself to meet anyone's eye, my thoughts on how I was going to explain myself, why I had invited her to a day with the pack.

I could hear Edward, standing off to one side, chuckling and whispering to Carlisle, Jake, and Bella.

I felt a tug at my hand, Dawn storming off towards Emmett. "You are mean, I did what you said, wrestling for the bill and slapping them in thanks, I can't believe you told me that!" Emmett looked at me, laughter rocking his body.

I saw the confusion on everyone's faces, I'm sure Edward had been listening to my thoughts on the way up the drive, telling everyone what I had done. He and Rosalie probably got a kick of seeing me about to be destroyed for my invite. Dawn was yelling at Emmett, and Edward was still laughing, explaining to Bella and Carlisle what was going on.

Nessie spoke, interrupting everyone, "Well why you all talk and figure everything out, Jake and I are going to walk down and bring his car up here." I saw the grin on her and Jake's faces, leaving me to face everyone on my own.

I took a step back, wanting to put some space between everyone and myself. I swallowed, my heart beating in my ears.

I raised my head, finding Carlisle in the midst of everyone. I rubbed the moisture off my palms onto my shorts. Swallowing, "If it's alright with you," I glanced over at Esme, "I'd like to have Dawn join me and my," I took a breath, "my friends out at La Push for the Fourth of July Picnic and bonfire." I could feel everyone's eyes on me.

I spoke in a rush of words, not realizing how much I wanted her there with me. "I'll talk to Sam and Jake tonight, if anything starts to happen I'll bring her right back, I'll talk to everyone, make sure everyone if on their best behaviors, please, please let her come."

I saw disapproval on some faces; Emmett took a step forward, putting himself between Dawn and I. "Do you really think that's wise?" His eyes flashed, "That might not be a good place for her."

Carlisle put his hand on Emmett's shoulder. He looked at me. "Maybe this should be talked about, discussed with Sam?"

Dawn looked back and forth between me, Carlisle and Emmett, and Esme who had put her arm around her shoulders. "What's the big deal? It's Embry, Jake and Ness will be there, and you all know his other friends." She shook her head, "It's not like I'm asking to go out with a complete stranger or go somewhere dangerous. It's just the beach." I saw her look at Bella and Edward, "It's ok for Nessie to go, why am I different?"

I felt eight pairs of eyes on me, I swallowed, hoping that Jake and Nessie would be pulling up to save me, but they didn't. It killed me to have to say it, but I knew I had to. "Carlisle is right, I should check with Sam to make sure it's ok." I saw the hurt in her eyes, "I should have asked first, before asking you, but sometimes he's not too happy about bringing 'outsiders' to the Rez." I knew I was lying to her and it killed me to do it, but I knew Carlisle and Emmett were right, I should have checked with Carlisle and Sam first, to make sure that I wasn't putting Dawn in any danger.

Dawn walked over, giving me a hug, Jakes headlights cutting thru the dark. "Let me know what he decides, I guess I'll see you later?" Her hug was limp, her voice soft and disappointed. I felt awful, I wanted to take her in my arms, tell her that I wanted to spend all my time with her, do everything with her, instead I turned towards Jake's car, passing Nessie as I got in the passenger seat.

"What were you thinking?" Jake didn't even wait until we were out of the driveway, "I can't believe you did that, not only was it stupid, but you probably hurt Dawn's feelings when you rescinded the invite."

I looked down, I knew Jake wasn't talking to me as 'friend Jake' anymore, he had slipped into "Beta Jake.' "I was just thinking she would enjoy it, everyone could meet her, she could meet everyone, and she and I could spend the day together." I looked out the window, recognizing the route; we were on our way to Sam's, not home. I sat quietly, knowing there was no reason to try to talk to Jake, in a few minutes I'd just have to repeat myself to Sam.

Jake parked in Sam's driveway, I slowly opened the car door, not looking forward to the conversation I was about to have. I didn't see any lights on, "Maybe he and Emily are sleeping, I can come back in the morning."

Jake swung his head around, "He's up, I called, and he's expecting us." We walked around to the back of the house, the kitchen light was on. Jake and I walked in; Sam and Paul were both sitting at the table.

Paul was the first to speak, "What did you do?"

I slumped into a chair, Jacob pulling up one to sit in next to me. I wiped my hands across my face, "I invited Dawn to the bonfire." I saw anger flash in Paul's eyes; I saw something else in Sam's.

"Haven't you learned anything? Don't you remember what happened last time someone," Paul's eyes went to Jake, "brought in outsiders, we shouldn't be mixing with the bloodsuckers!"

Sam put a calming hand on Paul's shoulder, "It's not Embry's fault, he didn't choose who he imprinted on anymore than anyone else did." He looked at me, "I can understand that you want her there, but is that what's best for her? Have you told her who you are yet, have you thought about what it will do to her to be around all of us." I knew he was trying to be kind, "We all know she's been through a lot, do you really want to risk all the progress she's made?"

I looked at all of them, I knew what they were saying was true, but all I could focus on was not disappointing Dawn. "It's a pack event, it's a picnic, some football, some playing on the beach, hearing tribal history around the fire, and watching fireworks. I really think she'll be ok." I paused, remembering, "She's asked me about why she hasn't come out here." I looked over at Jake, "Nessie comes out, she's not a member of the tribe, and she knows Bella used to come out here too. Dawn knows we're shape-shifters, she doesn't care."

"Yes, she knows that we shift, but does she know into what?"

I could only shake my head, "It's not like anyone is going to be phasing at the fire, that she's going to see anything she shouldn't."

"What if she does, the first time she saw Jacob she was able to evade him, her vampire family, it took all of us working together to find her, and it still took hours." I knew what he was going to say next, "She jumped off that cliff, she would have rather faced death than what she thought we were, do you want to risk that again?"

I could only stare at the table, I didn't want to put her in danger, not that we were dangerous, but in a position where she might feel the need to flee again. I knew I was being stubborn, but I didn't care. "I'll keep an eye on her, ask Nessie to help me, talk to the pack, tell them how important this is for me, ask them to watch themselves." I knew what I had to say, "She belongs there with me." It was really as simple as that; Sam, Jake, and even Paul couldn't argue with me, they knew it too.

I saw the three of them sit back in their chairs, "You are responsible for her, for keeping her protected, it's up to you to talk to everyone, make sure they all understand the consequences of her coming, of what will happen if they reveal too much."

"I don't like it." Paul's eyes were hard, "If we have to hide who we are then she shouldn't be here, she isn't ready."

I saw Sam and Jacob share a look, "We'll talk to Carlisle tomorrow, unless he convinces us otherwise she's coming." I breathed a sigh of relief; I knew the discussion was over. I wanted to smile, to celebrate, but there was a piece of me that knew everything Paul had said was true, maybe I was pushing too hard, maybe she wasn't ready.

I stood, tired and ready to go home, Jake grinned at me, Sam spoke, "why don't you go relieve Quil, finish his shift. Work crew is going to meet up in the morning at 8 at the pavilion to set everything up, expect to see you there."

There was nothing to say, I knew I wasn't being punished as much I was being reminded who was in charge. I walked outside; thinking about what I was going to tell Quil, tell who he was on patrol with, ask them for their help on Saturday.


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

I really didn't see what the big deal was all about, it was a day at the beach, it was fireworks and a bonfire. Everyone was treating it like I had asked to go running with the bulls. I knew they were all just looking out for me, wanting to keep me safe, but what could be dangerous about spending time with Embry, spending time with his friends, Jake and Nessie were going to be there too. I knew at one time there had been some ill feelings between the Cullens and the Quileute, Nessie had told me the story. I knew that there had been a treaty between them, that for a long time they had been enemies. Nessie loved telling the story, how her mom was friends with Jacob, but in love with Edward. That Jacob tried to convince Bella to leave Edward, to make her change her mind about the vampires. I'm sure Ness had romanticized the story, that there had been more to it than Ness let on. Ultimately the shape shifter and the vampires came together, fought side by side, new agreements were reached, they worked together, they became friends, and everyone lived happily ever after. I knew better, I knew that most fairy tales started out with some amount of truth, but got twisted around, made into a happy story for kids at bedtime. I was sure Ness's romanticized tale had been too.

I wanted to know what the secret was; I knew something was being hidden from me. I was angry after Embry and Jake left, not because my family was protective of me, I loved that. I was angry that they felt the need to keep something from me. I hated secrets; to me it was the same as lying. I had come to trust my family, it pained me that they didn't feel like they could trust me.

I didn't wait for anyone when I walked in the house; I went straight upstairs to my room. I shut my door, locking it for the first time. I was upset, angry, hurt. I took a shower, tears of frustration rolling down my face, the sound of the shower drowning the sounds of my sobs. I was climbing into bed and stopped, looking at my door. I couldn't do it; I walked over, twisting to lock but keeping it closed. I buried myself under the blankets, wanting to block everything out.

I heard a light knock on my door; I pressed my lids together, ignoring it. I felt it open, Esme gliding across the floor. Her hand brushed my hair off my forehead, "Dawn, I'm sorry you're upset, we're just trying to look out for you." I didn't want to listen; I didn't want to hear anything except the truth. I pressed my eyes tighter together. I felt Esme pull the comforter tighter around me, "It's ok, we can talk in the morning. Sweet dreams." I heard her pause at the door, "We're doing this because we love you." The door shut.

I rolled onto my side; I could feel tears rolling down my face. I wanted to call Esme back, to wrap my arms around her and sob. To ask her to tell me what was so scary, what were they protecting me from, what could possible be worse that what I had already been through. I wanted to yell, to scream, to holler out the window. I was so tired of being protected, of being treated like I might shatter. My resolve in place I pulled the blankets back, got up, pulled the door open and decided I had to know, tonight was the night they were going to have to tell me the secret.

I hadn't meant to sneak up on them, I was surprised they hadn't heard me coming. Just as I reached the top of the steps I could hear voices. I stopped, holding my breath as I listened to them discuss me, discuss Embry, talk about 'the pack'.

"He will be leading her right into the Lion's den, how long did it take her to recover the last time, she almost died just from seeing one of them in the distance, in human form she knew she was in danger." I heard Emmett's voice, clear, strong, arguing with someone.

Jasper's softer voice responded back, "She's stronger than you give her credit for, she's a fighter, a survivor. Not just from all the physical attacks, but look at all the progress she's made in the time she's been here. In a relatively short amount of time she went from being almost emotionally catatonic to running around with Nessie, immersing herself with the family to the point that we all consider her one of us, her nightmares have almost completely went away." Jasper paused, "I think she can handle this too, she deserves to know the truth about him, before things go any further between them."

I stayed still; it was a secret about Embry? What could be so horrible about him? All of them downstairs had been fine with he and I spending time together, they even encouraged it. I thought they all liked him, what 'truth about him' were they protecting me from? I fought with myself, wanting to walk down the steps and demand that they tell me, but also wanting to stay where I was, not entirely sure I wanted to hear it.

"I still think we should have left when Reneseme was born, if we had we wouldn't be involved with this mess with Dawn, we wouldn't have to share Nessie with that, that dog." Rosalie spat her words out, "We should have learned from our history, they can't be trusted. Edward loved Bella, so we had to tolerate her friendship with Jacob. We should have moved after Bella and Edward got married, but no, we stayed to make Bella happy. Look at what that got us, Reneseme was barely born before that, that mutt printed her, and he became a permanent fixture in her life. Now the other one has done the same thing to Dawn."

Printed me? What was Rosalie talking about, I thought Jake and Ness had always know each other because of her mom, that when she was younger he was like an uncle to her?

"I've tried looking, to see if I see any danger, but when she's with them there are too many gaps in my vision, I can't see what's going to happen. I'm nervous for her too, but we can't watch her every minute of every day. Eventually she was going to learn the truth, for all we know nothing is going to happen. Nessie will be there with Jake; they'll keep an eye on her. We all know Embry would lay down his life to protect her, does anyone really think that we would do anything to jeopardize her recover, do anything to put her in harms way?"

What were they saying? Embry would die for me? Were they serious? I leaned against the wall, it was all becoming too much.

Esme spoke softly, almost too soft for me to hear, "Every night I tuck her in, hug her, talk to her. She is one of my children, the same as anyone of you, I want to protect her, keep her safe. The way she looked when she was brought here, I thought even though she was alive that there was no way to save her." Her voice was thick with emotion, "I would do anything, give anything to keep her safe, keep her with us forever, just as I would for any of you. She needs to know, she needs to make the choice for herself, it's not up to any of us to make that decision for her."

Carlisle weighed in with his opinion, ending the matter, "I'll talk to Sam tomorrow, she needs to be told, told soon, before she finds out some other way. I know what it would do to her to find out unexpectantly, but I don't know what it would do to Embry if it made her push him away." He voice lowered, "I'm as equally concerned about him as I am for her, this could destroy them both."

I felt my palms turn to ice, sweat prickling on my head. I felt like I was going to be sick. Whatever it was, could it really be that bad? I crept back to my bedroom, hoping that no one heard me, and when no one came upstairs I was sure they hadn't.

I did what I always did when I couldn't sleep or needed to think. I grabbed my blanket, wrapping it around me as I sat looking out my windows. I reached forward; widening the opening, hoping the woodsy scent would help clear my head. I leaned forward, resting my chin on my knees, trying to piece together what I had heard with what I knew. All I could think about was what I didn't know, what bad of a secret could it be? I started to drift off, my mind finally calm as my body relaxed. I dreamed of wolves again, I hardly ever remembered my dreams, but lately I could remember dreaming of wolves. They were beautiful, graceful, nothing at all like the werewolves of my nightmares. I woke with a start, realizing that I could hear a howl in the distance, my head hitting the glass on the window when I jumped. I could see that it was still dark, I tried closing my eyes, and going back to sleep, but my mind had already started racing again. I turned to look at the clock next to my bed, 4am. I ran my fingers thru my hair, standing. It was a way earlier than I liked starting my day, but I knew there was no going back to sleep for me, not until I was able to get some answers.


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

"Quil, you're getting relieved early."

"What did you do? Tonight was supposed to be your night off."

I could tell Jared was out there with him, "I invited Dawn to the bonfire tomorrow, no one is happy about it." I let the rest flow out, letting them see how Dawn looked when I invited her, the conversation at the Cullens, my conversation at Sam's, everything that had happened. "I'm going to need your help, I'm going to talk to the pack later today while we're working, ask everyone to cooperate so I can bring her."

"I understand and know why you asked her, I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing, but you're right, that big one, Emmett will rip your spine out if it doesn't go well." Quil's thought did not give me any peace of mind.

"I'll see you two in about 6 hours, enjoy your patrol." I could see that he was behind our house when he phased, lucky guy was going to get some sleep.

"Did she really slap you and Jake? Try to wrestle him for the bill?" Jared's laughing thoughts filled my head.

"Yeah, it was the funniest thing, the expression on Jake's face was priceless."

"You played baseball with Vampires. . .she must really be something."

"She is, even without the imprint she's incredible."

"I'll tell Kim to talk to her tomorrow at the picnic, to stay close so she has a friendly face."

I breathed a sigh of relief, "Thanks Jared, that means a lot."

"Well if the roles were reversed, if Kim was in the situation, if I had imprinted on someone like Dawn, I'd want her around, and I'd want everyone to treat her right."

I picked up where Quil had left off, circling the north part of our territory, Leah and Noah had said they picked up something when they were on patrol, a scent they didn't recognize, most likely just a passer thru, but we couldn't be too careful. I checked the area they had found, but I couldn't make out anything. I decided to loop back south, a route that would bring me close to the Cullen's, giving me a chance to pass the house and ensure that Dawn was all right.

I had felt really bad about the way I had left things, someday, when I could tell her everything I hoped she would understand, would know that everything I had done and was doing was to protect her. I looked over; close enough to see her window. My heart jumped, I could see her sitting there, wrapped in a blanket. I could catch her scent in the air, I watched her, able to see the gentle rise and fall of the blanket, knowing that she was sleeping. I realized how upset she was, in all my time with her and watching her I knew she would sit at the window when she was upset, that in her words, 'the air helps clear my head, lets me think' I was sure she had a lot to think about after the display in her driveway when she got home.

"Em, I think you should tell her, if she's a strong as you and Jake both think, she should be able to handle it, you're going to have to tell her sometime anyway aren't you? Just tell her now and get it out in the open."

The thought of what that might do, of how she might react, of her pulling away from me was too much, I threw my head back, howling with pain. I took one more look at her, looking so peaceful, and started making another patrol loop.

I answered Jared, "It's not that I haven't thought about it, I have, I'm just not sure what to say, how to make it not hurt her."

"But you're ok with her thinking that you might be a bear, a squirrel, or anything else she might have come up with on her own. You know her imagination is coming up with things ten times worse."

"What if she runs again, what if she runs and I can't find her?"

"It's a chance I think you're going to have to take, explain to her that we are NOT the same as the animals that hurt her, we're not, we could never do that. Being a wolf is NOT the same as being a werewolf. She'll understand the difference, I don't know that she'll understand you not telling her."

"It's not like I'm lying to her, I'm protecting her."

"Embry, I know you believe that, but are you really? Isn't it better for her to know? I think **you **think you'reprotecting her, but really you're just protecting yourself."

Jared's thoughts stopped me, was he right? I made my decision, I was going to tell her, today. Sam could talk to Carlisle, Emmett could threaten me, but I was going to tell her. I was going to let her choose, decide for herself. I just hoped I could find the right words, tell her the right way, that I didn't send her back into her shell, that she wouldn't push me out.

I could see streaks of pink in the east; "Let's swing into Kim's, when I talked to her last night she offered to make breakfast for me."

I smiled, hearing the love in his voice for her. "Sounds great, I'll be there in a few, going to do one more loop around the Cullens and I'll be there."

I did another loop, including the Cullen house, and swinging wide to include Nessie's. I had hope, if Jake and Nessie could make it work surely Dawn and I could.


	32. Chapter 32

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

"You're up early." I sat on the couch next to Emmett and Rosalie, dragging my blanket with me.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep, something howling woke me."

Rosalie spoke, "If you slept in your bed instead of in front of the windows you wouldn't hear them, and you might sleep longer."

I grinned, "But the night air helps clear the cobwebs, helps me think better." I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, "there's just something about the air here, it's so fresh, clean, I can feel it down to my toes."

I felt Emmett elbow me in the ribs, "What are you doing, laundry detergent commercials now?"

I looked over at Rosalie, rolling my eyes at her, "I can't believe you're reading that!"

She smiled, holding up 'Dracula', "It's funny, it always make me laugh when I read it."

I shook my head, remembering when I watched it on TV with Emmett and Jasper, they way the two of them yelled at the TV. I had laughed at the two of them, both shouting at the TV as they pointed out the inaccuracies.

I turned my head, looking for everyone else. "Alice and Jasper left, said they had a few errands, but they'll be back tomorrow for the fourth."

"Esme and Carlisle?" I asked, not seeing or hearing them either?

"They went to Edwards."

"Let me guess, to talk about me, or should I say me and Embry?" I saw both their heads turn to me, "What's the big secret, what about him don't I know?"

Rosalie started to open her mouth, but Emmett put his hand on her back, speaking first. "Dawn, I would love to tell you, I really would, but this is something you're going to have to ask him about, it's his secret to tell, not ours." He looked meaningfully at Rosalie, "We wouldn't want him to share our secret, and we won't share his."

What Emmett said made sense, but it didn't answer anything. I threw my head back, groaning in frustration. I stretched out, knowing that even if they wanted to tell me they wouldn't. I rolled on my side, putting my warm covered feet on Emmett's lap, staring at the TV as Rosalie went back to her book. I was trying to figure out what Emmett was watching, why he was watching a commercial about a food chopper when as soon as the host starting slapping his hand on it I felt something brush against the bottom on my bare feet. I stared at Emmett, his face in a big grin; he ripped the blanket off me, tickling my feet. I laughed, trying to kick myself free. Rosalie looked at us over the top of her book, scooting herself further away from us.

I struggled against him, but it was like struggling against stone. He kept his fingertips soft, bringing just enough pressure to get a response without too much force. I laughed, loosing my breath, fighting for air. He finally released me, and I fell off the couch. I reached down quickly, I didn't even have time to register that I was falling before he set me back on the couch.

I shook my head at him, still laughing. "I'm going to grab a shower and get dressed; do you know what the weather is going to be like today?"

Emmett flicked the remote, turning it to a weather channel. "Good, overcast, drizzly, and grey skies." I looked at the two of them, "You guys have any plans today?"

I saw Rosalie raise an eyebrow at me, "not really, it's a Friday of a holiday weekend." She spoke slowly, not sure what I was asking.

"Good, let me get ready, and I need you two to go somewhere with me, I need your help to do something." I grinned, then turned and ran upstairs to get ready.

I showered in a hurry, pulling on the first clothes I saw in my closet. I was still running a brush through my hair as I was walking down the steps, pulling it back with an elastic band. I turned my head; Emmett and Rosalie back on the couch but already changed their clothes and gotten ready for the day. It looked like Carlisle and Esme were still not home.

I clapped my hands together, "Come on, you guys ready?"

I saw them exchange a look, "Dawn, where do you want to go, what are you planning?"

I could feel the excitement on my face, "Well since I was practically uninvited to see the fireworks with Embry I was hoping that you two would take me out to get our own, and we could just set them off here instead."

I saw Emmett grin, but a completely different look on Rosalie's face. "I'm not taking you out to get fireworks, Esme would not approve."

"That's why it's important to leave now, if we don't ask they can't say no."

Emmett nodded, looking at Rosalie, "She has a point,"

Rosalie shook her head, "I am not getting involved in this, if you want to go right ahead, it's you're hide."

Emmett jumped up, dropping a kiss of Rosalie; he was a blur as he passed me. I heard the door open, "Dawn, let's go!"

I grinned at Rosalie, mouthing "thanks" before running after Emmett. He was already in the Jeep, the garage door opening as I climbed in. "Do you know where we can buy them?"

Emmett smiled at me out of the corner of his mouth, "Oh yeah, I stock up every year."

I could see the sun tinting the sky pink as we drove away, he turned onto the road and I breathed in relief. I could tell we were going to be driving through Forks, "Can we stop at the filling station?" My stomach growled, "I skipped breakfast."

He pulled in, "Do you want me to come with you?" I appreciated the offer; he knew that I had trouble in stores that Carlisle and Alice had been working with me, teaching me about money, about finances, Alice even trying to explain investing to me.

I shook my head, I was much better than I used to be when I shopped. "I got it. I'll be right back." I hopped out of the Jeep, knowing that I wanted to stock up on all the tasty stuff that Esme didn't let much of in the house, calling it 'junk food', saying that it wasn't good for you. I didn't know about that, it tasted great. I took a basket, grabbing a container of chocolate milk, a juice, and some water. Not sure how long Emmett and I would be out. I got to the pastry display, I couldn't make up my mind, it all looked so good. I grabbed one of everything. I put the basket on the counter, and as an afterthought, to make Esme happy I added an apple that was in a basket on the counter. The clerk gave me to total, I pulled some bills out of my pocket, counting out what was needed. Alice was always trying to get me to use a wallet, but since I had no ID, nothing except cash to put in it I found my pockets to be easier. Alice relented when I explained my reasoning. She made sure to tell me not to carry all my money in one pocket, especially since she had taught me to carry more cash than I thought was really necessary, but she explained that if something happened, I were to get lost or something, or even if I was out and needed to buy something it was better to be prepared. I grabbed the bags, thanking the clerk.

I walked outside, ready to jump in the Jeep and came to a halt. I saw a police car parked next to the Jeep, a man in uniform talking to Emmett outside his window. I slowly walked around the car, climbing into the Jeep. Emmett turned to me, gesturing out the window, "Dawn this is Bella's father, Chief Swan, Charlie, this is Dawn."

He waved his hand at me, "I've heard about you, nice to finally meet you." When he smiled I could see so much of Bella and Nessie in him. I smiled back, already opening the bags and popping a ho-ho in my mouth while putting the milk in a cup holder.

He looked at Emmett, "Have fun, but I better not get any noise complaints out at your house."

Emmett waved, laughing as he backed out. I looked over at Emmett, "I thought maybe he was looking for us, that Esme or Carlisle sent him to bring us home." I finished the ho-ho.

"Nah, they might be a little upset with us when we get home, but Rosalie will tell them we went out, and I left a note." I saw him sniffing the air, "what did you get, I can't make it out." I felt a shiver go down my spine, then it was gone, "Chocolate milk, some ho-ho's, a Twinkie, a snowballs, a muffin, some waters." I reached into one of the bags, pulling out the apple, "and this," I took a bite, "so Esme can't say you let me eat nothing but junk."

I heard the phone ring and I froze. I saw Emmett hit a button, the call on speaker. Carlisle's voice filled the Jeep, "Tweedle-dee, and Tweedle-dum, you two having a good time?" I laughed, Carlisle often called Emmett and I that when we were together.

Emmett spoke, "We sure are we'll be back soon. Dawn just needed a break, some time away from the house." He winked at me.

"And this getting out of the house has nothing to do with fireworks?"

I spoke this time, "Don't get mad at Emmett, I made him take me."

Carlisle and Emmett both laughed, knowing I couldn't make Emmett do anything he didn't want to.

"Just don't get in too much trouble or set anything on fire," he stopped laughing, "Esme was a little worried, but I'll tell her everything is ok, you'll both be back soon?"

"Yeah, don't worry, she's with me, she'll be ok, I'll keep her out of trouble."

I crossed my arms across my chest, shaking my head at Emmett as I stuck out my tongue.

"Have fun, see you soon." The phone clicked.

I looked over at Emmett, "Which one of us is tweedle-dee and which one is tweedle-dum?" I grinned, remembering the movie with Alice and the smiling cat, Carlisle immediately deciding what Emmett and I's nicknames were going to be.

He only shook his head at me, turning the radio up as he drove. We eventually found ourselves in front of a huge tent; initially I thought it was a circus tent, with all the colors, the balloons, and the glittery banners. After parking Emmett turned to me, "Just act natural, stay close to me, don't touch anything. Any questions?"

I shook my head, opening the door and following Em under the tent. I couldn't believe what I was seeing; there were table upon table of what I could only assume were fireworks of every type. I saw Emmett take a large empty basket, start walking up and down the aisles, stopping every few steps to drop something in. He filled one basket in the first aisle, taking it to the register and returning with an empty one, I could see the giant smile on his face. He waved me closer to him, "These ones are awesome," he picked up something that looked like a tank, "these ones are the best for lighting and having them chase Jasper around." He laughed, putting a dozen of them in the basket. I followed behind him, not sure of what he was getting, I saw him grabbing large handfuls of what looked like colorful tubes, "These are what you're going to like." He filled a third basket before we were finally ready to check out. He gave me two bags to carry out, and I saw him turn to talk to someone behind the counter. I had finished putting them in the back and turned to see him walking towards me, he and another man carrying the remaining bags, and a LOT more LARGER tubes. He grinned, winking at me as he put everything in the back. He turned, shaking the man's hand and got in next to me.

"I can't wait until it gets dark!" He grinned at me, "This is going to be great!"

"Thanks Em, who needs fireworks on the beach with Embry anyway." I did, that's who. I was sorry I had brought him up, suddenly the mood was broken. "Emmett, I understand that you don't want to tell me about him, I can respect that, but is it really that bad?"

I saw Emmett look at me, felt the Jeep slowing down. He pulled into an empty parking lot. His face got serious, "Do you remember telling me what woke you this morning?"

I thought for a second; remembering the howling of a wolf. I nodded. "In all my time as a vampire I've never seen a werewolf, I don't know that there are any outside of maybe a few places in Europe and Asia, they are almost extinct." I nodded again, not sure what he was trying to tell me. "You know the difference between a regular wolf and a werewolf, right?"

"Yeah, wolves are like dogs, werewolves, well they are the most evil thing in the world, they should be extinct, all of them killed." I involuntarily shuddered.

"Yes, two different things, totally different things. Just remember that, nothing you find out will be as scary as what you've already been through, as scary as facing a werewolf."

I just looked at Em, I knew he was trying to help, trying to quash my fears, but all he was doing was confusing me even more, giving me more questions.

"Are you ready? Ready, to go home and face the music now?"

I smiled, knowing even if Esme and Carlisle were a little disappointed at my leaving this morning, there wasn't going to be any music to face.

Emmett started back towards home, "Em, can we go the back way, thru the woods?" I loved being bounced around on the mud trails, going out with Emmett and coming home covered in mud.

He reached over, one handedly fastening my restraints, and jerking the wheel onto a dirt trail, "Hold on!" I saw the grin as he turned up the radio.

We bounced out of the woods behind the house, I immediately recognized Jacob's car, but there was another one, a truck parked next to it that I have never seen before. I started undoing my harness before Emmett came to a complete stop. I jumped out as soon as it was in park. Emmett was out faster, by my side in the garage, but going through the door before me. I knew what he was doing, besides announcing our arrival; he was also putting himself between whatever was in the house and me. As soon as I walked in the house I was hit with the faintest hint of bleach, I wondered briefly what had been cleaned before looking around Emmett and seeing Embry, Jake, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Edward, and a man I didn't recognize in the living room. I smiled at Embry, but he had a worried look on his face, his eyes going from mine to the man in the chair next to Carlisle. I could see his jet black hair over the back, but I couldn't see his face, not yet, Carlisle was in the way.

"How was your shopping trip, find everything you were looking for?" I heard Esme talking, but I wasn't listening, I was staring towards the black haired man. I felt Emmett tense up beside me as I took a step. Edward was looking at me; I could feel everyone's eyes on me.

He turned his head and I saw him. I wanted to scream, everything made sense, everything. I felt my body go cold, but I was covered in sweat, this couldn't be true, this couldn't be. I felt my stomach drop, everything hitting me, coming at me at once. I wanted to kick myself for not seeing earlier, for not understanding. My head whipped around, seeing Jacob, really seeing him. I cried out, covering my mouth with my hand, I pointed at Embry with the other one. "you, how, why," I knew I wasn't making sense, I felt my vision start to tunnel, I wanted to run, to scream, to yell, to accuse, but I couldn't make my feet move. I heard Edward murmur something I couldn't hear, Emmett's hand suddenly on my shoulder, steadying me. I looked back to the man sitting on the chair, he hadn't moved, hadn't spoken. I looked at him, he must be Sam. I jerked free of Emmett, crossing the room to stand in front on Embry, I wanted to scream at him, to hurt him, to inflict the same pain on him that I was feeling. I reached my hand back, swinging it forward, connecting with his face, his sad beautiful face. I snarled at him, "You lied to me!" I spun looking at everyone in the room; they had all lied to me.

I was devastated, had it all been faked, all of it a lie? I felt like they were all laughing at me, like it was a game for them, that this was just one more way to torture me. I couldn't take it, I could hear Edwards voice, but I couldn't understand the words. Carlisle and Esme both reached out for me as I charged passed, but they were liars too. I just wanted to get away from them, away from everyone. I made a split decision seeing Emmett's keys on the counter. I grabbed them before I changed my mind. I knew I could drive his Jeep; he often let me take the wheel when we would go off-roading. I was glad he had parked outside; I wouldn't have to back out of the driveway. I looked over my shoulder when reached the driveway, I didn't see anyone. I jumped in, jamming the key in the ignition and putting it in gear.

I cut through the woods the same way Emmett and I had come home, coming out on a back road. I turned my head, looking left and right, not sure where I was going, what I was doing. I turned left, I could hear Emmett's phone ringing beside me. I ignored it, turning up the radio instead. I looked at my hands, they were shaking, I took a couple of deep breathes; I knew I needed to calm down or I was going to get in an accident. I saw a sign ahead; I was only a few miles from First Beach. I figured that was as good of a place as any to go. I pulled into the parking lot, looking at the waves crashing into shore. I got out, grabbing a bottle of water when I did. I was glad it was already evening, there were only a few people left there. I settled on a spot near the water, feeling the damp sand through my pants. With every wave that crashed it was like being hit with pain. I would have rather felt physical pain than deal with what I was feeling now. I didn't know what to do, what to think, I was just overwhelmed, trying to sort things out. Honestly, I was numb. I turned my head, watching a little girl racing up and down the beach, running to the water and running away when the waves came in. I could hear her laughing, her giggling as she was tossed into the air by someone, I imagined her older brother. I watched, she would squeal in happiness, so innocent, so carefree. She stopped when she was running; bending down to pick up something from the sand and bringing it to show him, she was close enough now that I could make out their voices.

"Look, look, Quil, it's a green one, I can take it home and add it to my collection!"

"It's beautiful, just like you."

Up until an hour ago I thought I had what that little girl did, a family, people who loved me. I wrapped my arms around myself, crying into the wind.

I felt someone standing next to me, too lost in my tears to notice them until they were there. "Lady, are you sad?"

I looked up, into a little girl's beautiful brown eyes. She looked at me, waiting for me to respond, "A little, but its ok." I sniffed, stopping myself from crying.

"Why are you crying?"

I looked behind her, seeing a tall deeply tanned man standing there, his arms crossed, but not coming any closer, just keeping her in his sights.

"I lost a friend today, but it's ok, you don't have to worry." I smiled at her, "Are you having fun, playing in the water?"

She looked back at her older brother, turning to me she whispered, "I wanted to swim, but he said the water was too cold." She wrinkled her nose; I smiled again, a real smile this time.

"Well he's right, the water is pretty cold." I rubbed my arms on my sleeves, to mime the coldness.

"Ohh, pretty, it sparkles." She plopped on the sand next to me, taking her hand and pointing at my arm, her finger touching one of my scars.

I yanked my sleeve back down, covering it back up. I turned my head, wondering how I got into this conversation with this girl. "Thank you, but I think your brother is waiting for you." I pointed to the man standing behind her still.

She laughed, the sound was almost musical. "That's not my brother, that's My Quil." She stood up, brushing the sand off her, "bye-bye, I hope you're not sad anymore."

I saw 'her Quil' give me a strange look, I had thought he was going to walk over when the girl touched my scar, but he wasn't never closer than 15-20 feet to me. I waved as they walked off.

I stayed there, watching the water until I was the last one on the beach. I could feel night closing in. I sucked down some water, knowing that the ho-ho's and apple had been a long time ago. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, what I should do. I wanted to stay there, not dealing with any of it forever. I could feel the wind coming off the water, the temperature dropping. I wrapped my arms around my knees, trying to preserve my warmth, not wanting to leave yet. I rested my head on top of my knees, turning my head to the side. I could smell something mixing with the salt air, like damp forest. I let the tears come, quiet and gentle, not of pain, anger, or even hurt. I was mourning. I had thought I had it all, and maybe I did, at least for a minute even if it had been fake.

I had trusted them, all of them, trusted them with my secrets, with my truth, and they didn't trust me the same way. I wasn't angry that Embry, Jake, Sam, the rest of their friends were wolves. That part did scare me a little, well a lot, but I was angry that they hadn't told me, hadn't trusted me. My entire existence up till then had been one lie on top of another lie, being used, being treated as an object, not as a person. They had all done the same thing to me.

I didn't know what to do next, should I go back, let them explain, forgive them. I could forgive my family, but not Embry, not Jake. I didn't know if things could ever go back the way they had been, I doubted it. I knew I wouldn't probably never trust ness again either, she was with them. I thought about just leaving, taking Emmett's jeep and driving until I couldn't drive anymore. I knew he could get another one. I thought about trying to see the Volturi, Caius had done this to me, had started all of this, maybe he could end it too.

I felt a warm hand on my back; I jumped, crying out in surprise.


	33. Chapter 33

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

I hadn't meant to scare her, she just looked so small, so scared, so alone sitting there. I had hung back, not wanting to interrupt her, but going to her as soon as Quil told me where she was.

I knelt down beside her, "Please," I looked into her eyes, "please don't run, please let me explain." I heard my voice quivering; I had spent the past couple of hours out of my mind, worrying about her, wondering where she went when she left the Cullens.

I don't know what I expected her reaction to be, I had thought I would be able to tell her privately, that she wouldn't have found out like that, how hard that must have been for her, walking into her home and seeing us sitting there, realizing what we were.

I clasped my hands in front of me, not caring that I was begging her, "I am so sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out like that, I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry."

She just looked at me, all emotion gone from her face, her eyes a void. She stood, "I can't talk to you right now, I can't stand to be near you." Her voice was flat. She started walking away from me, walking back to the Jeep.

I stood, following behind her, "Dawn," my voice cracked; I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

She stopped, turned to me, "Don't" her voice still flat, but with a cold edge, "You made my family lie for you, you let me care about you knowing you were lying, you're worse than those other animals, I knew what they were, what they wanted, you, you just lied, and for what? For some sick game? To see if you and your friend could inflict more pain, torture me in ways that I hadn't been yet." She took a step towards me, for a second I had hope, "Embry, I hate you! Don't ever come near me again, not ever." She got in the Jeep and I heard her pull away. I crumbled to the ground, a pain gripping me like no other.

Quil and Seth found me; they had to force me to stand, half carrying me, half making me walk. The closest house was Billy Blacks, Jacob's dads. I don't remember much of the walk, just getting thrown on the couch when we got there. I heard someone on the phone; "We found him, but he's a mess, I don't know, he's not talking."

Within minutes there was a flurry of activity around me, I saw Sam in front of me, he must have been sitting on the coffee table to face me, he may have slapped me, I heard the sharp noise, but I didn't feel anything. "Does anyone know what happened? Did he find Dawn, talk to her? Was she there with him?"

"She was there when I left with Claire, I stayed back, so she wouldn't notice me, as soon as I was out of sight I called him, letting him know where to find her. She was a mess, I didn't see her leave so I assume she was there when he got there, but I don't' know."

"Embry, Embry Call." Sam's voice was loud, in my face, but I just couldn't answer, I couldn't make my mind form words. "Em, come on, say something man."

All I could think about, all I could see was Dawn walking away, I could take her hate, her anger, but I couldn't take not seeing her again. Someone was snapping their fingers in front of my face. Slowly I started to see people coming into focus. In the distance I hear a phone ringing. I couldn't believe it, what had I done, did she really think I was worse than the animals that had taken her? Her words hit me all at once. My stomach heaved. I stood, pushing past everyone, running to the bathroom, hanging my head, the shame, the hurt, everything pouring out of me.

I heard Jacob talking, "That's good, and she's alright? Good, I'll let everyone know to stop looking. Call me back when she gets there. No, it's pretty bad right now. I'll talk to you later, keep my posted. Love you too."

Jacob stood in the doorway, next to Sam, "Dawn called Esme, she said she'd be home soon she just wanted some time. They sent someone to pick her up. Somebody will call to let us know she made it there safely."

"Embry, did you hear that? She's going home, she's ok, she's not running again." I heard the words, I even understood them, but I was numb. I stood, walking past Sam and Jacob. I saw Paul on the couch next to Rachel; it was too much to bear. I walked outside, I couldn't be with all these people, pack or not, I just needed to think, to figure everything out.

I paced in front of Billy's house, not sure where to go, what to do, who to turn to. I saw Jake and Quil waking towards me, Jake nudged his head towards the old workshop behind the house, "Come on, we'll talk." I walked half the distance with them, but I couldn't do it, I just couldn't voice what had happened, not yet.

"I think I'd rather just be alone." I turned head down, and walked away from them.

"Just let him go, he'll talk when he's ready." I was thankful for Sam.

I wandered around the Res the rest of the night, not even able to phase, not that I tried. I thought about going to Dawn's, to try to see her, at least check on her. I needed to make sure she was there, but I didn't. I didn't want to widen the distance that was already between us. I stumbled home after the sun came up, not wanting to go there, but not having any other place to go.

I heard the excited voices of my brothers, getting ready to pick up their imprints, getting set up at the beach, excited for the bonfire later. If I had any emotion left I would have had fresh pain, remembering that I wanted to bring Dawn here. Today was going to be the day I wanted to introduce her to the pack. I couldn't believe how in one day I had gone from feeling the highest high to the lowest low. That I had gone from having Dawn and seemingly endless possibility, to how I felt now.

I opened the door and all noise ceased. I saw the looks of pity. I saw Jake and I had to ask, "Is she home? She's safe?" I didn't recognize my voice, it was cracked and dry.

"Yeah, they called last night, she's home." I heard him pause, debating whether to tell me something else or not, "I'd rather you hear it from me now, then hear it from the pack later." He looked at Quil and Jared, "Dawn decided to leave."

I sank to the floor. "How long?" my voice was a whisper.

"I don't know."

"Is she coming back?"

"I don't know that either." He knelt down beside me, "She just needs time, you have to believe that, she just needs some time."

I shook my head, "It doesn't matter, she hates me, she couldn't even look at me." My voice cracked, my heart breaking again, "She said I was worse than the animals that took her, my lie was worse." I put my head down on my arms, putting my hands on top of my head, I didn't want to, but I couldn't stop, I sobbed, leaning on Jacob as I did. My body racked with sobs, with guilt, with shame.

Jared and Quil tucked their arms under mine, pulling me to my feet, pulling me down the hall to my bed. I fell into it, at a loss to say anything more.

"We'll be by later to check on you, get some rest." They pulled the door shut and I could hear them leave.


	34. Chapter 34

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

I couldn't believe he was there; I wanted nothing to do with him, with anyone. I climbed into the Jeep; Emmett's phone was beeping at me. I thought about tossing it out the window and just driving. I put the Jeep in gear, I could still see Embry on the beach, and I could no longer stand the sight of him. I wanted to put as much distance between us as I could.

I just drove, not knowing where I was going or even what direction I was traveling. My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn't eaten in a while. I glanced down at the bag from earlier still on the floor. I looked at it, but kept driving. I saw a town ahead, reading the sign I knew it was Forks. I pulled into the first place I saw was open. As I put the Jeep in park Emmett's phone beeped again. I looked down, it was Alice calling.

I hit ignore as I got out, but as my anger started to fade I started to think of everyone, with as many missed calls there were I was sure they were worried. I slid into a booth, placing an order. I took out Emmett's phone; there was no question of who I was going to call.

She answered on the first ring, "Dawn, where are you, are you ok?"

"Esme, I'm fine, I'm just confused."

"Where are you? Come home."

"I will, I need to give Emmett his Jeep back."

"We don't care about that, we just want you here. I'm sorry you found out that way, it wasn't supposed to be like that."

"You mean me finding out that everyone I loved and cared about was lying to me, I wasn't supposed to find out?" I couldn't help it, the anger rising.

Her voice got quiet, I could tell I hit a nerve, "We're sorry, and we're worried about you, just come home, we can talk about. Tell me where you are."

"No, can I just talk to Emmett real quick?"

Emmett came on the phone, "You're coming home, right? You're on your way now?"

"I'll be there soon, but first I need your help, I'm lost, I don't know how to use your direction-thing in the Jeep."

"Tell me where you are, we'll come get you."

I was tired of asking, tired of feeling worn out, I looked down at the menu, "I'm at Plaza Jalisco, it's on the corner of Forks and Wood."

"Don't leave, we'll be right there." He hung up.

My server brought my food, but I had little appetite now. I took a few bites, enjoying the feel of something in my stomach, but not tasting. I saw Alice's yellow car pull up a few minutes after hanging up, I didn't even want to think about the laws she broke getting here that fast. I stood up from the table, tossing some bills down. I made it to the door before Emmett appeared in front of my, scooping me into a bear hug, he squeezed so tight my lungs emptied and my ribs were being crushed.

"Em, Em" I could barely gasp out the words, "Let go, let me down." He did neither, only loosening his grip on me.

"Let's get you home, we've been worried sick, poor Alice is about to make her head explode trying to see where you went, where you were."

He set me down; I walked over to Alice, my head down. "I'm sorry you and Jasper had to come back to this."

She shrugged, "We're just glad you're ok." I looked between the two of them, deciding that Emmett would probably yell at me the least. I got back in the Jeep with him for the ride back.

He looked over at me, curled up on the seat next to him, "Did he find you? He had everyone out looking for you."

I didn't want to talk; I stared out the window instead. I heard Emmett again, but I wasn't listening, too busy decided what I was going to say when I get back. I didn't want them, but I could feel the tears forming, knowing how hard what I was going to say was going to be, but knowing that it was something I was going to have to do.

I chewed my bottom lip as I walked into the house, thinking about how I was going to tell them I was leaving, that I couldn't stay there anymore. Emmett misunderstood my tears, my reluctance to go further inside the house. I just wanted to delay telling everyone I was leaving; he thought I was delaying facing Esme and Carlisle, that I was delaying the confrontation.

I stopped in the dining room, I wanted to compose myself before facing everyone, I took a deep breathe, used my hands and the lapel of my shirt to wipe my face, rubbed the tears from my eyes. I was fighting with myself, this was the only family I knew, they had taken care of me, and I loved them. I just no longer trusted them. I steeled myself. Taking a deep breath I walked in to face them.

I walked into the living room; everyone was there, the entire family. Esme took a step towards me, reaching her arms out. I held my hand up to stop her, not wanting to hurt anymore than I already did, not wanting to have to fight though anymore pain.

I looked at everyone, I loved them all, I really did, but the hurt was too much, I couldn't understand, how could they profess to love me and lie to me at the same time? I swallowed the lump in my throat, "after what happened today, I'm sorry, I really am, but I think it would be best if I left."

Everyone started talking at once, I shrank up, involuntarily flinching as Esme, Alice, and Ness took steps toward me. "Dawn, you know this is your home, you belong here with us." Carlisle spoke.

"You can't leave, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but you can't' leave, Jacob and Embry are sorry too." I heard the tears behind Nessie's words.

Esme reached me, wrapping me in a hug. I held my arms to my sides, I didn't push her away, but I didn't return it. "We love, I love you. We did what we thought was best, what would do the least harm. We thought it was the right thing to do."

I couldn't believe my ears; they were defending him, defending themselves. I yanked myself loose of Esme's hug, incensed. Didn't they understand, I had trusted them, had told them everything, had believed everything they had told me, believed that they were good, were kind, were different. It had all been a lie.

"You thought the right thing to do was lie to me? The 'right thing' was to let me trust you, to believe you when you were lying to me the whole time."

I looked at Carlisle, "You always wonder about me, how I could take so much, what my capacity was, this is it. I can't take any more hurt, anymore pain, anymore anything from anyone. If I thought I could die I would try."

My anger tapped I let everyone know it, I felt like I was loosing my mind, loosing control. I yelled at Nessie, "You were the worst, I had total trust, total faith in you, everything you showed me, everything we did together, and I bet afterwards you would get together with your little boyfriend, uncle, whatever he is to you and laugh about it, how you pulled another one over on the crazy chick in the house. I will NEVER forgive you for this, for letting me trust you, letting me think that Embry was a decent guy, that he was someone that understood that was ok to care about."

I saw Edward put himself between Nessie and I, my anger growing at her as I yelled. I looked at him, "You, you had to have known how important trust was, that it was everything to me. You knew everyone's thoughts, saw that everyone was laughing, how funny it must have been to be in on the joke."

I spun around looking at everyone, "I loved you!" My voice faltered. "Why couldn't you have just loved me back?" I was quiet, turning to hide my tears. I walked towards the door.

Emmett was still behind me, "Just wait a minute, you've had a chance to have your say, now let us tell you a few things." I couldn't believe it, he blocked my path.

"Like I would listen to anything you have to tell me now." I knew I was being unnecessarily hurtful now, but I didn't care, I wanted to hurt them, make them feel the way I did.

I felt a calmness washing over me; I turned, glaring at Jasper. "Leave me and my emotions alone."

"You may not want to hear this, you might not believe it, but we do love you, we want you here, and we are sorry, all of us."

Carlisle was right, I didn't want to listen. I wasn't sure I could believe him.

I was exhausted, mentally and emotionally drained. I just wanted this day to end. "I just need some time, some space to sort all this out, I just need to leave for while, I can't be here, I don't feel safe here anymore."

I saw a few flinches when I said that, I felt bad, but it was true.

"Where are you planning on going?" It was Esme.

"I don't know, I don't really care, as long as it's not here."

"OK, but can I ask for one thing, one thing only?" She looked at me, her eyes warm and filled with love, "stay here tonight, sleep, and if you still want to leave in the morning no one will stop you."

I saw Alice and Bella both shaking their heads at Esme, Edward cocked his head to one side; I'm sure trying to figure out what she was thinking. I didn't want to fight anymore, I was tired of arguing. I just wanted sleep. "Fine. If no one will stop me, I'll leave in the morning."

I walked upstairs, I said nothing as I went, just walked thru the door, locking it behind me. I slid down the back of the door, burying my head in my hands, crying, sobbing until there were no tears left. I could hear everyone talking downstairs, some of the voices traveled; I could tell by tone that they were arguing, even if I couldn't make out the words.

I fell asleep like that, waking when the sun was on my face. I rubbed the sleep and dried tears from my eyes, blinking, looking at my room. I stood slowing, taking everything in. I took a hot shower, as hot as I could stand. I got out, dressing in layers. I was starting to put together a plan in my head. I knew there was a bus station in Port Angeles; I could walk there from here. It might take me the better part of a day, but that was ok. I didn't know where I was going to go, I figured south, it would be warm and I wouldn't risk running in to any undesirable.

I grabbed a backpack, throwing some clothes in it, my camera, and pausing as I sat on the edge of my bed, the picture of Embry, Nessie, Jake, and I staring at me. I grabbed it, laying it beside me as I grabbed a pen and paper;

Dear Emmett,

I'm sorry for taking your Jeep, but thank you for taking me to get the fireworks. Even if it wasn't true you were a great big brother and I will miss you always. Tell everyone that while it lasted this was home, the best place I've ever lived, the most loved I've ever felt. I knew it was too good to last.

I'll miss everyone; Alice for taking me shopping and showing me how to be a girl, Jasper for teaching me to be myself to not be ashamed of where I came from, Rosalie for putting up with me and in her own way being the most honest, Esme – she was the mother I never had, Carlisle for not only taking care of my physical injuries but helping me to deal with my emotional ones as well. Bella, Edward, and Ness, for showing me what was possible. Ness was the best friend I've ever had.

Em, I'm sorry for the way things worked out, I would have played Treedle-dee to your Tweedle-dum any day.

Love you,

Dawn

p.s. I've enclosed a note for Embry; I trust that you'll pass it along to him.

I folded Emmett's letter into an envelope, taking a separate sheet for Embry's;

Embry,

I will never understand why you lied to me, why you felt the need to hurt me. I had truly begun to care about you, to love you.

I don't know what hurts more, that I let myself believe you or that I thought you cared about me too.

I found this before I left, maybe it will mean something to you, it means nothing to me anymore.

Dawn

I tucked the photo in with the note, I knew I was being cruel to Embry, but I wanted to be, I wanted to inflict as much pain as I could. I wanted him to feel the way I did. I didn't know if that was possible for him, how he could tell me he cared about me all the while lying to me about what he was.

I sealed Embry's note in with Emmett's. I gave one more look around my room and I walked out. I pulled the door shut, my bag slung over my shoulder. This was it, on the run again.

I walked down the steps, expecting to see everyone, to say a proper good bye, but there was no one. The rest of the house was empty as well. I took a final look, laying the card for Emmett on the counter where he could find it. I left.

I saw Esme in the garage, she and her SUV were the only things there, everyone was gone, their cars with them. I shrugged at her, "It's morning, and I haven't changed my mind. I'm sorry." I reached to hug her, say a final good bye. She reached behind me as I hugged her, opening the door of the SUV and fastening the seat belt around me before I knew what was going on. She was a blur, hopping into the driver's seat and putting it in gear before I could undo my safety strap.

"What are you doing? Kidnapping is illegal you know." I wasn't so much angry as surprised. I could have maybe expecting this from Emmett, Alice, or even Jasper to a lesser degree, but never from Esme.

"Dawn, listen to me," her voice was soft, pleading. "I can't let you leave like this; I can't send you out into the world alone. I understand that you want to leave, I even think it's necessary, it will help you, but if you leave I'm coming with you."

I looked at her, was she serious? "Esme, I appreciate the offer, really I do, but I think this is something I need to do alone."

"No, you need to understand that you're not alone, you have a family, we know you're hurting, you're in pain, you need to heal, not just because we kept Embry's secret from you, but from everything you went through before you came to us. You said once that you didn't know how you got here, what brought you to us, that you felt drawn this way. I know why that was. It was because you belong here."

I didn't know what to say, how to respond. "Am I going crazy, am I losing my mind? I just feel like everything is falling down around me, like I'm losing control."

"No, of course not, Carlisle thinks that you've just been putting up a brave front for all of us, that physically you've healed, but emotionally the wounds are still there, you may have hand band-aids over them, but yesterday it was like ripping the scabs off, everything was re-opened."

I nodded, understanding what she was saying, agreeing with her. "What do I do now? How do I heal that?"

Esme smiled at me, "We have a plan, and it starts with breakfast." She pulled into a coffee shop in town.

After breakfast we got back into the SUV. I could tell she was heading back to the house. "Esme, I don't want to go back." I could feel myself getting panicky.

"We're not, relax, and look in the back." I turned my head, realizing the SUV was filled with all types of camping and hiking gear.

"Where are we going?"

"Well for now we're going to Olympic Park to celebrate Independence Day with our family, like every other family. We'll spend the night and tomorrow you and I will pack up. We're going to spend some time together, the two of us, helping each other."

"Is that where everyone is, waiting for us?"

She smiled, nodding her head.

It wasn't hard to spot our group when we pulled into the campground; I was sure every decoration in red, white, and blue for miles around was there. There was a tent set up, a canopy with lawn chairs underneath, a grill, coolers, and a volleyball net set up in the shade.

As we drove up Esme reached over, squeezing my hand, "Remember, everyone out there loves you, wants the best for you, they understand that right now you're not yourself. There are no apologies needed, today is about family, about having fun. Tomorrow the work will start the healing."

I reached over, hugging her, pulling her close. "Thank you"

We parked and walked to the campsite together. "Wow, this looks amazing!"

"It's your first Fourth of July; we wanted you to have the whole experience." Alice grinned as she walked towards me, holding her arms out for a hug. I gladly wrapped my arms around her, feeling horrible about last night.

I felt something bounce of my head. I looked around, seeing Emmett laughing at me, "Come on, I'm going to teach you about another sport, volleyball. It's great, you'll love it!" He and I stood on one side of the net, Jasper on the other. Emmett showed me how to put the ball on my palm and to use my other hand to smack it across the net. He tried to demonstrate, but hit the ball so hard it popped. I laughed, it felt wonderful. He tossed the battered pieces to Rosalie, "Did we bring another ball, or the badminton racquets?"

I looked at jasper, "Badminton?"

"Just wait until he remembers the badminton birdy is called a 'shuttlecock'"

"That's right, it is!"

"Thanks jasper, now we'll be hearing that ALL day long."

I listened to everyone talking, the teasing, Esme was right, we were a family. I looked around, realizing we weren't quite a whole family. I looked at Carlisle, "Where's Edward, Bella, and Ness? Are they coming?"

"Bella and Edward will be here later, Nessie is going elsewhere to celebrate." I understood. She was going to be with Jake and the liar.

I didn't blame her, after last night I wouldn't have wanted to spend time with me either.

I settled into a chair next to Jasper, I had heard a lot of his stories, about the War, about who he had been before. "Tell me more about today, it's about freedom and independence, right?"

"Yes, but it's about so much more, it's about a country, our country taking a stand, saying enough is enough and fighting back.

I loved listening to Jasper, the slight accent of his voice, the way he spoke about history, the way he felt it. I understood why he taught Nessie most of her history lessons. I had sat with her through many of them. Having Jasper talk about them was like having a bird's eye view of what was going on then.

I saw that Bella and Edward had arrived, I looked over at them. I hoped they understood that they knew how sorry I was. I looked at Edward hoping he knew my thoughts. That I was really sorry for my outburst at Ness. I saw him whisper something in Bella's ear, too soft me to hear, but it must have been what I was thinking, she looked at me, a small smile on her face.

"Alright, now that everyone is here, we are going to start a new tradition." I heard Alice's voice ring out, "Dawn, we were going to use today as your birthday, as a way for you to declare your independence, to mark the day you were able to stand on your own." She paused, looking at me she smiled before going on, "Circumstances being what they are, we've decided that may no longer stand true, however, we still have presents for you, and you can pick a birthday later." With that she handed me a brightly wrapped box.

I opened it, I'm sure the shock was evident on my face. I looked at it, it was a wallet. I held it up, "Thanks, it's nice." I really wasn't sure what to say, how to react to it.

"No, no, no, you need to open it, Jasper and I got you what's inside it."

I undid the clasp; there was an ID inside, my picture and the name 'Dawn Cullen.' I took it out of the wallet. I needed to feel it in my hand, to touch it. I read it again, still not believing. I looked up, into everyone's faces, "After everything I said, how I acted, you still want me?" I couldn't believe it.

Rosalie spoke, "Of course, especially after last night, I've never seen anyone talk to Edward, like you did, if you can stand in front of a roomful of us and be as angry as you were; well we know you love us as much as we love you."

Her words shocked me; I would have expected them from Esme, Carlisle, anyone but her.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? You're not going to hug me now are you?" I shook my head at Rosalie, she may try to act uncaring, but I think she might have been one of the most caring, but like me she struggled the most to show it, to let anyone get close.

'This one is from me and Rose," I saw the grin, I took the bag from his hands, reaching inside. I pulled out a package of Twinkies, followed by a package of sno-balls. I looked inside; it was filled with all sort of delicious confections. "There's more at home, Rose and I bought a box of every flavor, so you could decide which your favorite was."

I laughed, opening the package in my hand and taking a bite.

"Your gift from Esme and I is at home, it will be there waiting for you to come back. Everyone worked on it, put in some thought, made suggestions." Carlisle handed me a keychain, a single key on it. "It's for you to have some freedom without the need to borrow," he smiled, "Emmett's. It also comes with responsibility, with the freedom to leave comes the freedom to choose, to come home."

I nodded; I knew what he was telling me. That they loved me, loved me enough to let me go, but knowing that I loved them enough to return.

"Dawn, this is for you." Bella handed me a small velvet box, "So that no matter where you go you'll have a piece of us with you." I opened the box, it took my breath away.

"It's beautiful," It took my breath away. I picked it up, looking at it. It was a necklace, silver, with a topaz stone. The same warm, rich, honey tone as everyone's eyes. I flipped it over, noticing that it had been engraved. One word was there, 'family'. I hugged her, "Will you help me with it?" I handed her the necklace, lifting my hair so she could fasten it.

I looked at all the smiling, loving faces that surrounded me, "I can't thank you all enough, for everything." I looked at Emmett and Rosalie, at Esme and Carlisle, at Alice and Jasper, at Edward and Bella. I could see them all smiling back at me, happy to have me join their family, but I was momentarily saddened, Ness was missing, and even in the midst of everyone I was still alone.

Edward looked at me, "Not alone, not anymore." He had been reading my thoughts; I gave him a half smile, hoping he was right.

My head swiveled over to Emmett and Rosalie, "Did you find volleyball?"

"Better, a football!" He raced over, grabbing my hand, pulling me across the street, to an open space. "This is like playing catch with a baseball, but no gloves and it's a different shape." He wrapped his hand around mine, showing my how to place my fingers in the laces, how to throw, and how to make it spin.

Rosalie stood with us, "Emmett, honey, why don't you go down field and I'll show Dawn how it's done." Emmett jogged off, coming to a stop at the end of the field. She turned back to me. "Watch this." She snapped her arm back; the ball was just a blur when it left her hand.

Emmett easily grabbed it from the air, "So you want to play rough?" I heard him yelling to us.

"Nope, Dawn's going to catch." It was great, Emmett had to toss the ball softly to me, so I was able to catch it, and I would hand it to Rosalie who would bean it down to Emmett.

"Getting hungry? I'm going to fire up the grill." I looked over at Carlisle, was he being serious? I laughed someone, probably Alice had gotten him to wear an apron and he was standing in front of a grill, the flames licking out at the top.

Emmett, Rosalie, and I walked over. "Have you ever done this before?"

"Nope, but this is what family's do on the holidays, they go to the park, they grill something," he held up a soda can, "they drink sodas and play games." I noticed his can hadn't been opened. "Go ahead; open the cooler, grab what you want and we'll try to get it cooked up for you." I laughed as he smiled at me.

I opened the cooler, from looking at it you would have never guessed that it had been packed with only one food eater in mind. I looked at Carlisle, at the flames coming off the grill, at Jasper standing next to the grill, a spray bottle in hand to shoot the flames down. I grabbed a package of hot dogs, even if they got burnt or undercooked they would probable still be palatable.

I sat at the picnic table, opening a bag of chips when Edward sat down with me. I noticed when I got the food out that there was a slightly off putting odor in the air, but when I tried to track it down it was gone. "You're not even aware that you're doing that are you?"

I looked at him, "doing what?"

"You sense that something is unpleasant for someone and you remove it."

I looked at him, I crunched a chip. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"You really have no idea. Fascinating." He stood up, reached into the cooler, grabbing something and coming back to the table with Emmett. "I'll show you." He reached up opening a package of hamburger under Emmett's nose. Emmett made a face, and then it was gone.

He sniffed at the meat, "now it just smells like nothing, there's no scent to it at all."

Edward looked to me, "That bleach smell you sometimes get and can't figure out where it's coming from, that's what food smells like to us. I think somehow you're able to read our discomfort with it, you see it as pain, and you make it go away."

I popped another chip in my mouth, "Are you serious? That smell is just from someone cleaning something, why would I do that to myself?"

Carlisle sat next to me, the grill forgotten. "I don't think you have a choice, that those closest to you, you feel compelled to protect. Not just from physical pain, that I think takes either a stronger bond or a touch, but the minor things, they don't bother you, you don't feel them the way others do, so you take it away from them."

I looked around me, I could tell they thought they were on to something, I wasn't as sure.

"If you're willing, I'd like to try something." I nodded. I saw Carlisle, Emmett, Alice, and Edward have a quick conversation, too quick for me to hear anything.

Esme came over, sitting next to me, a tight smile on her face, "You don't have to, if you want to stop, just say the word."

"I don't know what they're planning, but I think they're wrong, so it doesn't matter, it's not like anything is going to happen."

Edward and Carlisle came back to the table, I saw Alice and Emmett walk away, disappearing behind me. I shook my head, watching Jasper struggle with the grill, finally just closing the lid and walking away from it. He walked over to the fire pit, stacking wood and getting it to light. Rosalie and Bella sat at the picnic table with the rest of us.

Edward was across from me, looking into my eyes. "Now if you feel, smell, experience anything, anything at all tell me."

I nodded, crunching on more chips. I reached into the bag again, and couldn't help it I sniffed.

"What was that? Did you smell something?" Carlisle was looking at me, looking behind me.

I sniffed again, whatever it had been was gone. "I'm not sure, it was just a flash of something, whatever it was it's gone now." I looked back over at him, looking at Edward too. I reached down to rub my right foot, something; either grass or a bug had tickled it.

"What are you doing now, what's wrong?"

"Relax, it's just an itch." I looked over at Esme, rolling my eyes at her and Bella. "I think your men maybe have lost it."

I felt Alice and Emmett come up behind me, Emmett lifting me out of my seat to put me in his lap, "we didn't hurt you did we?"

I scrunched my eyebrows at him, shaking my head, "no, nothing happened. You're all just being ridiculous."

"What did you two smell, what happened to someone's foot?" Edward looked between the two of them.

"Well Emmett pushing me into a porta-potty, that was momentarily unpleasant, but nothing, we didn't do anything to anyone's foot."

Jasper walked over to the table, without a word he put his right foot on the table, we could all see where an ember had landed on the top of his shoe, burning a hole.

Emmett lifted my foot next to Jaspers. There was just barely a faint pink mark. I chewed my bottom lip, not scared, more freaked out.

"Fascinating, just incredible."

I heard Esme, her voice tight, "It's amazing if it's true, but we're done now. Dawn is not getting experimented on, no more hurting each other to see if she feels it. We're done."

I saw everyone shift their eyes downward, but not me, I was excited now. I jumped off Emmett's lap, walking over to Rosalie planning on messing with her perfect hair, knowing she would respond. I wanted to see what would happen.

Edward cleared his throat, "Dawn, that's not a good idea."

I stopped, "Fine," I looked over at Jasper, he was back on two feet now, "How did the hot dog end up, or should I not ask?"

He grinned, "You're better off not knowing." He walked over to the edge of the woods, breaking a stick, sharpening the end of it before handing it to me, "try this over the fire, and later you can use it to make you're first s'mores."

"What's a s'mores?"

"They are wonderful, a must-have part of camping. I used to love them, it's a toasted marshmallow sandwiched between a graham cracker with chocolate. You'll love them." Bella walked over to the fire, sitting in one of the chairs that had been moved to form a circle around it.

Twilight was approaching; I could see the sun setting. I wondered if Ness was having fun, if she was enjoying herself and wishing that she would have chosen to be here instead of with them. The thought of Embry and Jake still brought anger, hurt. I shook my head, shaking the feeling off.

I saw Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie walking over to Emmett's Jeep, digging around in the back, coming back with their hands full of what we had got at the fireworks tent.

"Here, hold this" Emmett gave me a thin metal stick to hold, then brought a lighter flame to it. It exploded into a shower of sparks, I was speechless. He lit one in his hand, "Like this" he moved his hands around, the sparks making a picture in the air as he moved it.

"It's beautiful." I twirled mine around, drawing circles in the air. It fizzled, burnt out. "Are there more?"

Rosalie held up multiple boxes, "enough to last all night."

I clapped my hands together, I was almost giddy. I had never experienced anything like these before, I was just amazed. I jumped back, hearing some load popping noises, seeing a flash on the ground near Jasper's feet. "What was that?"

"Firecrackers," Alice was laughing at Jasper who had jumped.

I was almost jumping up and down with excitement, "Come on, everybody, these are great!" I took a sparkler in each hand from Rosalie, asking Emmett to light them for me. I handed one to Esme, "Aren't these just amazing?" She took it from me, twirling it beside me.

I watched as Emmett lit a tank, pointing it in Edward and Bella's direction. Laughing as they both jumped out if it's way. Emmett handed me a box that looked like it was just filled with sawdust, until he poured some out in his hand, tiny white paper dots were hidden. He picked one up, showing me that if you threw it against something hard it would make a snapping sound. Carlisle wasn't as amused as Emmett and I were when the hard thing Emmett threw it against was Carlisle.

It had gotten much darker while we were playing with the sparklers and firecrackers. I could just barely make out a few dots of color coming from the far end of the park. "Are those regular fireworks?"

"Yeah, those are, but don't worry, why don't you start on the s'mores making, Bella can show you how, and Rosalie, Jasper and I will get ours set up."

I was on my second s'mores when they come back. Emmett clapped his hands together, the excitement shining in his eyes. "Are we ready? Everybody get in your chairs." He kissed the top of Rosalie's head, "be right back." He was gone and back before I realized he had crossed the street to the park, igniting a fuse.

I heard a pop, and then the air was filled with an explosion of colors. It was breath-taking, giving my goose bumps and making me tear up at the same time. I glanced around, seeing everyone standing with their mates, wrapped in each others arms, experiencing this display together. For a brief second I allowed myself to think of Embry with something other than anger. The hurt biting into me, not because he had lied, but because I missed him. All of my anger, my pain, and I was thinking about how it would feel to watch this, his arms around me. I wiped at my eyes, focusing back on the display, feeling so lucky to be me, to be able to share this with my family. That they went through this whole thing for me.

"The finale is coming up, get ready."

Suddenly the sky was a bright as day, bursts of color where everywhere. I was completely without words.

After the smoke cleared I turned around, running to everyone, hugging all of them. "That was beautiful, one of the most incredible things I've ever seen!"

We sat around the campfire, everyone talking, discussing where Esme and I were going to go. "Are you sure you can't just come back home, why do you have to leave?"

I looked down, not sure I could explain it to Alice, Carlisle put his hand on my arm, answering for me. "Dawn needs a neutral place, some place that doesn't have any history for her, someplace that she can let her guard down. Someplace that her mind sees as safe." I looked down, chewing on my bottom lip, realizing that what he said was true. I might have done a pretty good job of hiding it, but there were still wounds that needed to be healed.

"We're going to leave in the morning, after Dawn wakes up. I think we're going to go the Glacier Park, it's beautiful, we can do some hiking, some camping, not be around anyone for miles and miles, but we'll still be close to home, and if we need it, Tonya and her family are close."

Bella looked at Esme, "but what about, I mean how will you, are you going to be okay alone for any real length of time?"

"We thought of that, every couple of days or so I can either bring Dawn into a town or campground, she can shower, restock her food supply, and I can grab a bite of my own. Or depending on her progress or anything coming up Carlisle can come up every now and then, trading spots with me."

Bella nodded, "Or any of us, we're all willing to do what needs to be done, to help out." I saw everyone else nod their heads in agreement.

I stood, announcing that I was going to sleep. Jasper and Alice stood, Jasper unzipping the tent and turning on a flashlight. "Emmett and I set it up for you. I hope you get some rest."

I hugged both of them, realizing I didn't know when I would see them again. I wrapped Emmett, Rosalie, Bella, and Edward in my arms all in turn. They had all said they would held get everything cleaned up and packed while I was sleeping, that way all Esme and I would have to do in the morning would be pack the tent and my sleeping bag. Carlisle was going to stay at the campsite with Esme, he's see us off in the morning before returning home.


	35. Chapter 35

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

I heard the door slam, I tried to think, to figure out how to fix this. I curled into a ball, burying my face in my pillow, bawling, until sleep put me out of my misery. I heard my door open a few times, the low murmur of my brother's voices as they came by to see if I was still there.

I finally woke to the sounds of fireworks, I sat up, realizing that I should have been there, should have been at the bonfire, my arms wrapped around Dawn, pulling her against my chest, my chin resting on her head. I jumped out of bed, anger overtaking me. I still wasn't sure what had happened, how it had gotten this bad so fast. I stormed out of my room, walking into the kitchen and froze.

I immediately recognized the handwriting, but I knew she hadn't brought it. I opened the envelope, a picture and a folded note. I looked at the picture first, remembering that day, they way she had looked, it was the first time she had held my hand. I reached down, touching her face with my fingertip, seeing her smile up at me, a giant grin as she stood between Jake and me. I didn't want to, but I unfolded the note,

Embry,

I will never understand why you lied to me, why you felt the need to hurt me. I had truly begun to care about you, to love you.

I don't know what hurts more, that I let myself believe you or that I thought you cared about me too.

I found this before I left, maybe it will mean something to you, it means nothing to me anymore.

Dawn

I bowed my head, sick with regret. I reread her words, each one feeling like a dagger in my heart. She had cared about me, loved me even. She thought that I had lied on purpose, just to hurt her; she didn't believe that my feelings were real. I gripped the counter so tight my finger made marks on the wood. I was paralyzed, unable to think, unable to move.

I could see out the windows, the fireworks were over. I snapped back into the present. I didn't want to be there when the guys brought their girls back. I couldn't handle that, not now. I slipped the picture into my back pocket, Dawn may have said it meant nothing to her, but it meant something to me. I couldn't take reading the letter again, balling it up in my hands and throwing it away. I walked out the door.

I ended up back at the beach, at the last place I had seen Dawn. I wasn't sure what to think, how to react. I was numb, I couldn't feel anything anymore. I didn't know what to do with myself. Dawn was my heart, my world, my universe. I wasn't sure if I could be without her. She was such a part of me; I was tied to her so strongly. I didn't know if I could exist without her.

I thought about finding one of my pack brothers, sensing that being alone right now wasn't going to be a good thing for me. I laughed ruefully at myself; any other guy my age would be drinking right now, something that wasn't available to me. I pulled the picture out of my pocket, folding it so just the half with Dawn and me was showing. I could see her face in the moonlight, the smile, the ease at which she was with me. I knew that somehow, someway I would make it up to her, that she belonged to me.

Standing up, I had a plan. I dusted the sand off; jogging back to the house, hoping Nessie was still there. I ran up our drive, Jakes car was there, hopefully so was she. They were on the couch, watching a movie with Kim, Quil, and Jared. "Nessie, where is she going?'

"Well hello to you too Embry." I ignored Jake, just wanting answers.

"Do you know where she was going? When she's coming back? Anything?"

"She's leaving in the morning, I'm not sure where to, I heard Carlisle and Esme talking, Dawn had some kind of break, or something. They're taking her somewhere to work some stuff out." She took a breath, her voice low, "I don't know if you want to hear this, but when she got home last night she was almost out of control. She was confused; it was like something had snapped. She wasn't herself, she screamed at everyone, she locked herself in her room, and she wouldn't let anyone near her." I saw her look to Jake, holding onto his hand. "She's not home now, dad said that they couldn't make her stay, that she was afraid to be there."

I felt everyone's eyes on me, "Is she coming back, did I make this happen?"

Nessie shook her head, "Esme left with her this morning, the family was going to spend one last day with her before they left. I don't know, I heard them talking after she locked herself in her room, Carlisle, Emmett, Esme, everyone thinks she'll come back, she's just really messed up right now."

"I triggered this." I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.

"No, Carlisle said that this had been brewing for while, that it was just a matter of time before something like this happened. Dawn was good at hiding this from us, at pretending everything was ok, that she was fine. She fooled us all."

"Where is she now?"

"I'm not really sure, everyone decided that she should get to experience Independence Day, she had been so excited about, looking forward to it for a while. Alice had planned for it to a 'birthday' for her." She laughed, "Didn't quite work out as planned, but everyone agreed that it was important for her to spend time with everyone, have a family experience before she left. They went out to Olympic Park, after Thursday she was bummed out that she had been kind of dis-invited out here, so she had Emmett take her to get a bunch of fireworks, planning on inviting you to come over there and spend the day with her at our house instead."

I thought I was numb, that I was beyond feeling anything, but hearing that, that Dawn had been planning to invite me there, so we could still spend the day together was like a new dagger thru the heart. "You didn't go?" I didn't know to be angry at Nessie for not being there for Dawn or relieved that she was here to tell me what was going on.

Nessie sighed, "I wanted to, I really did, but after last night, the way she was, the way she acted, my parents thought it would be better for me not to go."

I sat on the floor, not sure what to think anymore. I wanted Dawn here; I wanted to reverse time, to go back, to have told her, to have stopped her from walking in the house that day. Maybe if I had told her, I would be the one helping her now, instead of being left behind. I held on to the glimmer of hope, that she would come back, that she could be healed.

I hung my head, "I don't know what to do, how to protect her from this."

I felt Quil's hand on my back, "Em, we know, we know what she is to you, just have some patience, you know you two are meant to be together, you just have to let her go, trust that she'll come back to you."

"'If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.'" That's the quote you wanted Quil," Jared spoke for the first time, "Embry, I didn't mean to, but I saw the note, if she cared about you once, it'll happen again."

"You think so?"

"I know it."

I felt the tightness in my chest release a little, hope flooding through me. "How was the picnic?" I was sure that I was really interested, that I wanted to hear about everyone's good time, I just didn't think I cold take anymore of hearing about Dawn.

"It was fun, Claire built a HUGE sandcastle, she ran around like crazed lunatic for a while, but settled down by the time the fireworks started."

"She ran around like that because someone," Kim poked at Quil, "doesn't know how to say no to her and let her eat half a bag of marshmallows!"

He shrugged his shoulders, "she likes them, besides it was a holiday."

Jake laughed, "Seth shot himself with a bottle rocket."

"How did he mange that?"

"He was aiming for me, but" he grinned, "after it was lit he became distracted by someone in a swimsuit walking by and as he stared pointed the rocket at himself." Everyone laughed. Telling me everything that I missed, that Emily was concerned about me, I had missed some great food, the fireworks were beautiful, and there had been two new pack announcements.

I looked around expectantly, I was pretty sure I already knew one of them. Jared and I had talked about it not too long ago.

"I asked Kim to marry me," He and Kim looked at each other, love plain on their faces, "she said yes, and Monday we're going to look for a place of our own." Jared looked over at me, I'm sure he was having similar thoughts to my own, I was happy for him, he and Kim belonged together, it was just rough with Dawn having just left.

I reached over, hugging Kim, and knocking him on the shoulder, "I'm really happy for you two, not that Jared isn't wonderful to live with," I grinned and rolled my eyes at Kim, "but I knew this was coming, I helped pick out the ring." She held up her hand, the stone sparkling in the light.

"What was the other announcement?" I looked around, but all I saw were averted gazes. I closed my eyes, pursing my lips together, "Who was it?" I shrugged my shoulders, "I'm alright, I'll find out anyway," I looked at everyone again.

"It was Leah; she decided to leave the pack, concentrate on going to school, making a life for herself outside the pack." Jake gazed down at me from the couch, "We knew it was coming, she's been thinking about it for a while, just waiting until she had better control over herself."

"That's great; I know she'd been thinking about it for a while, wanting to be able to be a girl again, to think about starting a family, settling down." I heard my voice, the rushed tightness of it. I wanted to be happy for her, for Kim and Jared too, but all I could think about was those things were over for me. Dawn had left and with her my heart and our future.

I stood, walking into the kitchen; I needed to move, to have to think about something else, to distract myself. "We brought a plate home for you." I heard Nessie behind me. She reached around me to open the fridge and put it in front of me. "I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got some of everything." I looked at the plate, she was right, it was stacked a couple of inches high, layered with a burger, a hotdog, every type of salad, some fruit, beans, and sitting on top of it all like a cherry on a sundae was a slice of pie.

"Thanks, Nessie, it looks great."

She beamed, mock-whispering, "I had to hide it from" she cocked her head towards to living room, "certain vultures who were trying to talk me into giving it to them instead."

I looked at the plate, deciding that I was hungry, I sat down at the table, I ate everything, but there was little taste.

"Nessie, are you about ready? I need to get you home soon." Jake sat up on the couch, looking at the clock.

Jared looked at Kim, "I should probably get you home too, we might be newly engaged, but you know your dad." Kim smiled, "we still need to tell him that we're going to live together before we walk down the aisle."

Jared shook his head, "Are you sure you just don't want to tell him yourself?" I could see the toothy grin he flashed at her.

"Nope, we'll tell him together, tomorrow when you come over." I saw him nod, Kim's dad was nice, but wasn't especially fond of the decision she made to stay on the res after school. She had decided against college in favor of staying here. I think he might have blamed Jared for that, even if Jared did encourage her to make her own choice about it. Jared was relieved and happy that she chose to stay, but we all knew her reason for staying was him.

The house was suddenly quiet, Quil held up a game controller, "interested?"

I finished eating; leaving the plate in the sink I joined him on the couch. We played until Jared and Jake came back, silence around us. I tried to focus on the game, but Quil beat me every time. "It'll get better."

"I know," I looked over at him, a rueful smile on my face, "it can't get any worse."

It didn't get any worse, but Quil had been wrong, it didn't get any better either. I learned from Nessie that Esme and Dawn went to Alaska, they were camping, hiking, even kayaking. Getting news from Nessie was the only thing I looked forward to, the only time I felt like I was living. I did the normal stuff; patrols, sleeping, eating, spending time with the pack, working, but I was only there physically. Inside I was numb.

I heard so many pep talks, so many well wishes and concerned words from everyone, but I hardly heard. I helped Kim and Jared move in together, their displays of affection no longer difficult for me. I knew I was in a fog, just existing.

I saw Carlisle, begging for information about Dawn. He assured me she was doing well, that she and Esme were making progress. "You know it wasn't about you, this was going to happen with her no matter what. If it hadn't been Sam that triggered it, it would have been something else."

"But it wasn't something else, it was me."

"No, Dawn was damaged, she's only just now dealing with everything that happened, feeling safe enough to disclose all that she went through, what she shared with me while she was here was just a glimpse." I felt it again, the tightness in my chest, my heart wrenching at the thought of what was done to her. Carlisle saw my pain; he sat next to me on his porch. "She was overwhelmed, unbelieving that she deserved any type of happiness. She has a lot to work out, to deal with, to learn that she didn't deserve."

I stared straight ahead, "Do you think she'll ever forgive me?"

"She doesn't need to; she knows it wasn't your fault." I looked at him. "She doesn't blame you, she blames herself. She feels horrible guilt about what happened and what she said to you."

"Why?"

I saw him lean back, "That's where she is right now. It's a process, a long, slow process. Right now she sees everything as somehow being her fault that she should have been able to get away, she should have been able to hide better, she should have seen that we were hiding something from her, she's just dealing with it but blaming herself, for being angry at herself. Hopefully Esme is helping her see what really happened, that she didn't cause any of this to happen, she not at fault for any of it. Once that happens the real healing will take place. Until then she's always going to feel unsafe, always be on alert."

I didn't know what to say, how to respond. "I just miss her, I miss her so much. I could handle not seeing her, not being near her if I knew she was getting better. I'm supposed to be protecting her, keeping her safe, I don't know how to do that." I could hear the pain in my voice, I'm sure Carlisle heard it to.

"Just be patient, I go up every week or so and see her, she's doing better than she was. This is all new for her, it's a lot to learn, a lot to sort out for her. Every time I see her she's doing better than the last time."

I was trying, trying to be patient, but all I wanted to do was run to where was, tell her she was safe now, no one would hurt her again, that I would protect her, if only she would let me.

"Embry, we know you care about her, what she means to you. I won't tell you where she is, but I can tell you how she's doing when I come back. I'm going up tomorrow for a few days."

I had an idea, "If I wrote her something, a letter, would you give it to her?"

I saw him think about it, deciding something. "Yes, just please, keep it brief, friendly, and don't bring up anything from the past. Dawn's been writing a lot lately, sharing letters with almost everyone."

I looked at him, "Nessie?"

He shook his head, "not directly, but to her parents. I think she's too afraid of the possible rejection from Nessie. That would be too much for her psych right now."

"What time are you leaving?"

"Early, it's a long drive, Esme asked me to bring a few more supplies." He smiled at something, "It seems that Dawn's even colder than usual. Even with it being summer she's asked for flannel and a hat and gloves for sleeping. Because I'm driving this time, I'll leave early so I can be on the first ferry."

I stood, shaking Carlisle hand. "Thank you, for helping her. For everything your family is doing."

He looked at me, "I would do it for anyone of my kids, she's family."

I thought for a long time about what to write, what I wanted to say. There was so much, but I knew Carlisle had been right. I needed to keep it brief, friendly, non-threatening. It took me a few tries, of deciding what I wanted to say, but ultimately I decided direct and brief were best.

Dear Dawn,

Hi, it's Embry. I hope you're doing well, enjoying your time hiking and camping with Esme. I've never been there, but I hear it's beautiful

Dear Dawn,

I hope you're doing well, that you'll come home soon.

Dawn,

I miss you.

Embry

I knew whatever I wrote she might not even read that I didn't want to do anything that could possibly set her back. There was so much I wanted to say, to write, to tell her. I just hoped to get the chance. I wanted her to know that I didn't blame her for anything, that none of this was her fault.

I sealed the letter, placing her name outside the envelope. I had patrol tonight; I'd drop it off at the Cullen's then. I reached in my back pocket, pulling out Dawn's picture. Maybe it was a sign that I was losing my mind, but when I was alone, when the hurt got to much I would look at her, my fingers stroking her face, and I would tell her how much I missed her, how much I wanted her to some back.

I was slowly adjusting to life without her, creating a new normal. I was surprised when I learned from Claire that she was getting ready to go back to school. I had been so distracted, so removed from life that I had failed to notice fall was coming. "Quil says that he's going to go shopping with my mom and me for my school clothes."

I looked over at Quil, wondering how that happened. He shrugged, "Claire asked me to come with them, I couldn't say no." I laughed at them, loving it when Claire came over, she was always so happy, so excited about everything. Quil was watching her today, like most days in the summer while her parents were at work.

I felt a tug on my arm, "Do you want to color with me?"

I saw Quil laughing at me when I looked down at Claire. "Sure I do what would you like to color?"

I saw her scrunch up her face as she thought about it, smiling when she decided. "Princesses, they're my favorite!"

I inwardly groaned, knowing that Quil would tease me about this for days. "Quil, you should come over and color with us."

"Quilly," I laughed at her nickname for him, he glared at me, "you can sit by me, here's a paper for you."

I wasn't sure how to draw a princess, what Claire expected so I watched her draw one first. I could tell she was concentrating, her tiny pink tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth. When she finished she picked it up with a flourish, proudly showing it off. "Now it's your turns, she needs sister princesses, one in pink," I laughed as she handed the pink crayon to Quil, "and one in purple and pink." Quil laughed at me when she handed me the two crayons.

I was halfway through the drawing when I heard something outside, I looked over at Quil, his head was raised, he heard it to. The scent hit me, it was Carlisle. I crossed the kitchen in two steps, flinging the front door open.

"Has something happened? Is she home? What's going on?" My words were rushed; Carlisle only came out here when he had to, never for a social call.

He looked up at me, reaching into his pocket, "I didn't think you would want me to wait to give you this," He held an envelope out to me.

I felt my mouth go dry, my palms get damp. I took it from him, my hands shaky. "It's from Dawn?"

"Yes, I left this morning, I came straight here. She apologized for the delay in writing back, but she's doing a lot better," he looked into my eyes, "a lot better." He turned, walking back to his car.

I held onto the envelope, not paying attention, not even realizing that he had left until I noticed the car was gone. I saw the writing on the outside, Dawn's delicate old style of writing. Embry I flipped the envelope over, not sure if I wanted to know what was inside. I walked in the house, still staring at the letter.

"You won't know what it says until you open it, until you read it." I waved Quil off, walking to my room. I sat on the corner of my bed, slowly opening it.

Dear Embry,

I miss you too. I've tried writing this letter many times, but never able to find the right words. I'm sorry for what happened, I know it wasn't your fault, that you were trying to protect me. Thank you for that, for trying to keep me safe.

Obviously you've talked to Carlisle; he wouldn't tell me much about you, about how you're doing. He said you were ok, that you weren't angry. I hope that's true. Carlisle said that you and he speak fairly regularly; he asked if I minded that he told you about me, about how I'm doing. I don't, I just can't believe that after how I acted you still care.

It's beautiful here, between all the counseling Esme's doing with me; she and I have seen and done much. I stood at the continental divide. I made Esme take pictures so I could show everyone.

I don't want this letter to go on forever, and I want to make sure I give it to Carlisle to deliver before he leaves again. If you write again, I'll write back.

Dawn

I couldn't believe it. I read it again, and again. I could feel my heart starting to thaw, the grin on my face. I walked into the kitchen, picking up Claire and spinning around with her, "She misses me!" I kissed the top of Claire's head; Quil looked at me like I had gone over the edge.

"Good letter?"

"The best, she misses me." I was still dancing around the kitchen with Claire, her giggles interrupted my thoughts. I put her back in her chair, suddenly feeling alive and energetic. "This is great! Fantastic! I gotta go tell everyone!" I raced out the door, feeling lighter, the weight that had been crushing down on me since she left slowing lifting off me.

I ran to Sam and Emily's, thrusting to letter into Emily's hands as soon as I walked thru the door. "Read this, read it, she misses me!" I saw the surprise on their faces, not used to seeing me that excited in while, not since before Dawn left.

I watched as Emily's eyes traveled back and forth along the paper, "That's great. Have you written her back yet?"

I shook my head, "not yet, he only goes up every week or so, I'll stop in tomorrow to see when he goes up again." I was too excited to sit still. I was literally bouncing in their kitchen.

"Em, I'm glad she's talking as it were, that's really good news, just remember to go slow. She doesn't understand what's going on, what's happening. You could just as easily scare her as help her right now." I knew Sam was right, but I was too happy to let his words have any effect on me.

The weeks melted away, the letters flowing between us like water. With each letter she shared a little more, held back a little less. I could see how far she had come, how much she was healing, how much she was learning about herself. With my letters I told her more about my life, when she asked I told her about the pack, about my being a wolf. I told her about everything that was going on, about Jared and Kim, that Jake and Nessie were spending even more time together if that was possible. I told her everything. No, that's not true; I didn't tell her about the imprint. I talked to Carlisle, to Sam, to Jake, to the rest of Dawn's family; we decided that she wasn't ready for that yet. I was worried, I didn't want to tell her, I didn't know that I would be able to explain it, but more than that I didn't want her to think that my interest in her was for selfish reasons, that I was encouraging her recovery for anything other than I wanted her well.

The other part of me worried, I didn't want Dawn to think that I was lying to her again, that I was hiding something from her. I knew, now more than ever, the importance of being truthful. I trusted Carlisle when he said there would be a right time to tell her.


	36. Chapter 36

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

"I think I'm ready." I looked over at Esme; she was sitting next to the dying embers from the fire we built last night. I finished getting out of the tent, coming to stand next to her, rubbing my hands together for warmth. I wasn't sure how long we'd been here, but it had helped. I woke up every morning now, happy to just exist. Esme had been a lifesaver more than once. I knew I wasn't that scared, angry, confused girl that had come out here in July.

"Only if you're sure." She looked at me; I put the kettle on the fire, needed to heat up hot water to make breakfast. "Do you think you're ready?"

I shook my head, "Yeah, I do." I surprised myself at how strongly I felt those words, how true they were. Out here Esme had really pushed me, forced me to face what had happened, to talk about it, even when I didn't want to. No matter what I said, what I did, how I acted or reacted she stayed with me. There were many nights that all I did was sit next to here and sob. There were days that I didn't say a word, too caught up in my own thoughts. She forced me to my limits, as far as I thought I could go, then a little further.

It was hard, dealing with the sadness, feeling like I was losing a part of myself, then the guilt and shame of knowing how wrong it all was. I was just a confused mess. Through it all, she was there, everything that I needed.

It hadn't all been talking and emotions in Glacier, I had known of course, that Esme liked the outdoors, I just hadn't realized how much. She taught me to kayak, laughing at me as I tipped, repeatedly while learning. She tried to teach me how to climb, but since she didn't use equipment when she climbed it was difficult for her to show me how to use it. We hiked, man did we hike. It was great; there were weeks that I never saw anyone but Esme, Carlisle, and the week with Emmett and Jasper.

Carlisle and Esme decided to pay a courtesy call to Tonya and her group in Denali so Emmett and Jasper volunteered to come up and 'babysit' me. Carlisle thought it was a great idea; Jasper could help me work on my 'gift.' Seeing as how his was the most similar in that we both had the ability to influence others, him emotionally, me physically. With Emmett I think it was a combination of wanting to get out of the house, do some hunting, spend time with me, and not really wanting to leave me alone with Jasper.

The week with Emmett and Jasper could only be classified as unique. When the three of them arrived at the campsite Esme and I were staying that week the first thing I did was liberate them from their jackets. I knew the weather wouldn't bother them, but I hadn't been warm since I got there. Carlisle had brought me flannels, hats, and gloves, but it still wasn't enough to cast the chill aside. I made the mistake of complaining that I was getting tired of eating dehydrated meals. Emmett decided to bring a caribou to camp, telling me that I could roast it. I tried to politely decline, but Jasper offered to do the butchering. The steaks were delicious, but I don't think it was worth the images I had of Jasper and Emmett butchering it and deciding to have a 'gut fight'. Thankfully the campsite was close to water and they could bath.

I swear the two of them together without their wives or other adult supervision was like living in a frat house. It was great; it was like being a kid. Most mornings I would work with Jasper, learning how to clear my mind, to focus on what I was doing, focusing on what I was experiencing. Sometimes Emmett would help, offering to smell, taste, or hear things that were unpleasant to him to see if I could identify what was going on. Jasper offered to inflict pain to see if I could detect that, but I declined, even knowing that it wouldn't really hurt them I didn't want to see them do that.

My afternoons were spent being tormented by my older, bigger brothers. We had one really nice, really warm afternoon; they decided I should know how to swim. They decided to teach me by tossing me into the lake. Emmett thought it would be great to climb up a tree with me on his back, he thought it would be funny to leave me up there while he came down. Jasper finally got me when I threatened to tell Esme and Carlisle when they came back. One night around the campfire Jasper pulled an envelope from his pocket, "Here, Dawn, I forgot Carlisle gave this to me to pass along to you." I grinned, immediately recognizing the writing on the outside as Embry's.

I reached for it, only to have Emmett grab it, "Aww, isn't that sweet, your boyfriend writing you love letters." I knew he was teasing, and I couldn't catch him even if I wanted. I tried ignoring him, hoping that if I didn't give him a reaction he would grow bored and just give it back. I grabbed my journal from my pack, a gift from Nessie that she had tucked into Esme's car before she left. I loved it, especially the double inscription, the first one she wrote the night she got it for me, the night I had pizza for the first time, the second inscription she wrote for me after I announced I was leaving. When I pulled it out a few letters fell out of its pages. All the letters I had received since leaving I tucked in my journal so I could re-read them as often as I wanted. Emmett picked up one that landed closest to him, reading it out loud.

Dear Dawn,

I was so happy to get your last letter. Sounds like you and Esme are having a great time exploring. I hope you're taking pictures of everything and being careful. I know you don't like hearing it, but I worry about you, being so far away from everything. I know Esme is with you and Nessie has said that besides Carlisle the rest of your family has seen you. I just worry, I just want you safe.

I grabbed the paper from Emmett's hands. "Those are private!"

He just laughed, "He really cares about you, you know." His eyes were serious, behind the laughter.

I wasn't sure how to respond to that, my relationship with Embry, if you could call it that was complicated. "Does that mean I'm going to get my new letter?" I saw Emmett grin, but he handed it to me. I didn't wait, tearing it open to read right there.

Dawn,

No, absolutely the answer is no, I could never be mad at you for what happened. I know you weren't in control. Please stop apologizing none of this was your fault.

I was very excited to read that you're thinking of coming home, the offer still stands; I would love to see you, but only when you think its time. I miss you, sometimes I go days smiling, thinking about you, your latest letter, I think about what I'm going to write to you, what I want to tell you, then I realize how far you are and it hits me.

Enough of my pining I guess, Time to answer your questions from your last letter. In order yes, no, sometimes, and maybe. I know, I know, I need to explain.

Yes I like being a wolf, at least most of the time. No it's not something I choose or wanted, but I am happy (most of the time) that it chose me. Sometimes I wish it were different, especially after meeting you. Maybe, but probably not. You would only see me or one of my pack brothers in wolf form it we thought you could handle it, or something happened and you needed to be protected, so I can't for sure say no, I can say probably not.

I'm still laughing at your description of a weekend with Alice. I can't believe that you two spent a weekend at a spa while you were camping, somehow the two just don't sound like they go together. It sounds like you had a great time. It was just funny to hear you talk about pedicures, facials, and how muddy and cold it is in the same letter.

Nothing really new with me, just the usual, work, think about you, patrol, check the Cullens, talk to Carlisle, sleep, hope to dream about you, and in between all that think about you some more.

Carlisle told me Emmett and Jasper were coming up with him this time, hope you have fun with them, don't know what their plans are, but doubt I'll hear you talk about pedicures and massages in your next letter.

Yours,

Embry

I grinned, holding the letter to my chest. I wanted to just close my eyes, picture his face.

"Reminds me of romance from my time." Jasper's voice broke the silence. "When it was slow to develop, letters were written, the anticipation, the honesty." I saw him look at me, "Emmett was right, he cares about you."

I wasn't sure this was a conversation I wanted to have these two, but they were both married, both happy. "I know he does, and I care about him. I just can't understand why he didn't tell me." I saw Jasper start to open his mouth, but I rushed on before he could speak. "I mean at first, I understand he didn't want to frighten me, I get that, but later he could have told me. I would have understood. Everyone," I looked hard at Emmett, "made such a big deal, made such a point to repeatedly tell me the difference between wolves and werewolves. I can't believe I didn't catch on, but I wouldn't have cared what he was. I just find it ironic, all his talk about wanted to protect me, and he didn't."

I saw Emmett and Jasper exchange a look, "Dawn eventually you'll understand, it'll make sense. When you come home the two of you can talk, really talk, and get everything out and in the open. Trust us; if he hadn't thought he was protecting you he wouldn't have done it."

I looked at the two of them, I couldn't believe it, they had defended a wolf. I stood, stretching my legs and back. "You guys want to help me break camp tomorrow? Esme and Carlisle should be back soon and I'd like to be ready to go when they get here."

"Thank God! I was afraid you'd stay here all winter!" I looked at Emmett, "I know you needed to have some time, but we were starting to get worried, wondering how much time. I thought when you left you'd be back in a week, maybe two. It's been MONTHS." He wrapped his arms around me, swinging me around and squeezing the air from my lungs.

"Can't. Breathe. Down." Emmett released me. I looked at Jasper, he was smiling too.

"We can get everything taken down and packed tonight. If you want, one of us could just run into a town tonight, once we got some sort of cell service we could just call Esme and Carlisle, tell them we're taking you home."

I looked at the two of them, both of them with grins, "That would be great, thanks." I grinned as I crawled into my sleeping bag. "I love you guys, see you in the morning."


	37. Chapter 37

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

I couldn't believe how long Dawn had been gone. I could feel the crisp bite in the air, the seasons were changing, and fall was almost here. I had been spending more time with Quil lately, and that meant I was also spending more time with Claire. She was getting excited for Halloween, but still not decided on her costume. She wanted to be a princess; she just wasn't sure which one yet. I had tried to convince her to be little red riding hood, telling her that she could make Quil dress as a wolf. I thought it was funny, but after that Quil wouldn't let me suggest any more ideas. Nessie was talking about a Halloween party, but she wanted to include her family and the pack. I wasn't sure how that was going to work, we all got along well enough, but there were a lot of old prejudices on both sides. Nessie wanted to have the party at her grandparents' house; Kim and Rachel who were helping her plan it were trying to talk her into having it here, using the pavilion and having a bonfire. I weighed in when Nessie asked, I thought it was easier for us to blend in at her house than it was for her family to blend in here. That and even with the new alliance and the new treaty in place there were still a lot of 'old timers' that still had a problem with the Cullens. I just wasn't sure if I could go to a party at Dawns. I went there to talk to Carlisle, to get updates on her, to exchange letters via the 'Carlisle mail service', but that was different. Being alone at a party, especially at her house, would just be too much.

She had been gone for so long now; there were periods of time when I wasn't sure she had been real. I would reach into my back pocket, pulling out her ever present photo; run my fingers over it, to remind myself that she was real. If without the picture I would be reminded of her, the ache I felt when I saw couples together, especially Jake and Nessie. Most night I would volunteer for patrol, just to avoid sleep. I would try not to dream of her, waking from them was almost too much, waking up and realizing she was gone. I felt empty, hollow, my arms aching for her. Then I would get a letter, and it was like sunshine in my soul. I would be so happy, so excited, then the cycle would start again.

I saw Carlisle when he came from his latest visit. Emmett and Jasper had come home a day earlier. He must have seen me coming from the woods; he met me in the yard. "Hey Carlisle, how was your trip?"

"It was good, Esme and I visited friends while Jasper and Emmett spent some time with Dawn, I think they all had a good time."

I cocked my head, usually Carlisle wasn't this formal with me, "Is something wrong, did something happen?"

"No, nothing, it was just a long trip back." I saw him quickly glance over his shoulder towards the house.

"Are you sure, is everything ok?" I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, that he was distracted. "If now is a bad time I could come back."

"No, that's ok."

"Alright, well I guess I'll be back in a few days to pass on a letter if you don't mind." I paused, not wanting to have to ask, as he usually handed it over right away, "Did Dawn send a letter down this trip?"

Carlisle looked up at me, "I'm sorry, no she didn't. She was pretty busy with the guys; I don't think they left her with much time to do much except sleep. I'm sorry, the next time I see her I'll ask." He turned away, walking back to the house.

I shook my head, walking back to the woods. Something wasn't right, I wondered if something had happened to Dawn and they weren't telling me, if something had happened between her and Jasper or Emmett, or if maybe he was just tired, all the going back and forth especially with his wife with her had to be taking it's toll on the guy. I tried to just shake it off, but something was making me feel on edge.

"What's going on at the Cullens?" Jake and Quil looked up from the video game. "Carlisle was acting odd."

"Nothing as far as I know, but I can ask Nessie tomorrow if you want." He turned back to the TV, "Are you sure it's something and not just you being paranoid when it comes to Dawn?"

"No, even if she was too busy with Emmett and Jasper to write to me this week." I slumped into a chair. I wasn't angry that she hadn't written, I mean, the fact that she was able to spend a week with them and be too busy to write was s good thing, I think. I hoped it meant she was feeling better, that she was enjoying herself. But I also felt a stab of pain, if she didn't write did that mean she was too busy to think about me, that she didn't miss me the way I missed her?

"Trouble in paradise?" I knew Quil was teasing, but I couldn't help but wonder if he wasn't right? Maybe Emmett or Jasper had told her something, maybe she had changed her mind, and maybe she decided she needed a break from me. I wasn't sure what to think.

"Nah, I just start to get a little overthink-y when it comes to Dawn. I'm sure if something was going on I'd know about it, if she was angry or anything I'm sure Emmett would be the first to tell me. It's just, when she's so far away, the only communication we have is letters," I took a breath, "I just miss her."

"We know, but if it makes you feel better I'll talk Ness tomorrow, see if she's heard anything. I can even ask Edward, "See if anyone said anything without saying anything." Jacob grinned. "For now just relax, here" he tossed me the controller, "you can take my place, he's killing me. I swear he's cheating."

I took the controller, looking around and noticing empty plates, "What's for lunch?"

"We made chicken, should be some left of the stove if you want." Quil was focused on the game, "But if as soon as you get up you're dead." I debated my stomach versus my pride. My pride won, but just barely.

I left after Quil beat me a few games, just needed the time to myself, wanting to think, I started walking. I replayed my visit to the Cullen's; I knew something was going on, something they were trying to hide from me. I had stalked off from the Cullen house, something wasn't right. Carlisle had met me in the yard, Edward and Jasper on the porch behind him. I could feel them watching, I knew Edward was in my head. Carlisle said he wasn't sure when he was going to see Dawn again, that it might be a while. "Carlisle, whatever it is, whatever is going on, please just tell me." I knew I was pleading, but I couldn't help it.

Carlisle glanced over his shoulder, his words calming me. "There's nothing to tell, nothing I can tell you. When she's ready you'll have to hear it from Dawn, not me."

I nodded glumly, "So there is something, you're just not going to tell me."

"It's not my place, I'm sorry. You have to understand that Dawn may have secrets of her own, secrets that are hers alone to share."

I thought about going home, talking to Jake again, even if he had said Nessie didn't know anything. I didn't, there was no one I wanted to talk to, no one, besides Dawn, that I wanted to be with. I ended up near First Beach, having tried unsuccessfully to run myself tired. I walked over to my familiar spot, the last place I had seen her. I pulled out the picture again, looking at her fading smile, the worn creases. My fingers caressing her face. "Please, just come home. I miss you so much." I looked up, sniffing; I would recognize that scent anywhere, that damp smoldering wood. I shook my head; the guys were really going to think I was loosing it. Not only was I talking to a picture, but I was imagining her scent as well. I flopped down to the ground, watching the waves, wondering if she would ever come back.


	38. Chapter 38

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

"You need to tell him you're here, even if you don't want to talk to him yet." Esme looked at me as I came down the stairs, still wiping the sleep from my eyes. "You can't hide forever, besides you want to see Nessie again, you know once she sees you everyone out there is going to know you're home."

I knew she was right, but I wanted a few days, to just acclimate myself to regular life. "I know, I will, I just need a day or two. Then I promise I'll make my apologies to Ness." I didn't want to think about Embry, what I was going to do with that.

Carlisle walked in, "He was asking about you, I told him we were all just tired from the drive, that you had a busy week with Emmett and jasper, but he's smart, he knows I was hiding something."

I ran my fingers through my hair, chewing on my bottom lip. "Let me talk to Ness first, try to apologize to her, and then I'll talk to him." I looked back and forth between the two of them. "Is she home?"

Esme shook her head, "She is, but talk to her because you want to, not for any other reason."

It was too late; I was already waking out the door. My stomach was alive with butterflies, I had really missed ness, missed her laugh, her smile, her friendship, everything. I knew the others would forgive me, they could understand what I had acted the way I did, I wasn't sure if ness would forgive me, I wasn't sure if I had been her if I would have forgiven me. I walked the familiar path between our homes slowly. The longer it took me to get there the longer I could put off the possible rejection, the anger from her. I got to the porch, my legs like lead as I climbed the steps, my throat aching for moisture. I lifted my hand, ready to knock when the door was flung open. The force of it startled me; something hit me, knocking me to the ground. I was shocked, surprised, trying to fight it.

"DAWN!" I heard ness's high-pitched squeal, her arms still wrapped around me, "It's about time you came back!"

I was in shock, not knowing how to respond, this was the last thing I had expected. I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her back best I could from the ground. "I missed you too, I'm so sorry, about everything."

She jumped up, pulling me standing next to her. "I know, mom and dad explained it, I know you didn't mean what you said." She looked at me, grinning. "You should have seen yourself that night; you were crazy out of control looking."

I hung my head, ashamed and embarrassed, "I know, I'm sorry, that's why I left, I" my words faltered, "If I had been in my right mind I would have never said any of those things, never tried to hurt you."

Nessie and I walked inside; talking and trying to force the past almost four months into the time it took us to walk from the porch to her living room. "I wondered how long it would take for you to make an appearance." Edward's voice cut into our conversation.

"Welcome back Dawn, we're really glad you're here."

I looked from Edward to Bella, a question on my face; Edward tapped his head "I know it wasn't easy for you to come here."

"I owe the both of you an apology too, I may have written you one, but I think I need to tell you in person as well, how sorry I am."

Bella put her hand up, interrupting me. "It's a new day, a new you, no need to apologize, the past is the past, we're starting over." I walked over, hugging her and Edward both.

"Alright, already, enough of that." Nessie was looking impatient, "We have a lot to catch up on." She took my hand, pulling me to her room. She and I taking our usual places on her bed, both of us talking at the same time, telling each other what the other had missed. It was wonderful, like no time had passed, picking up where we had left off. She was so excited to tell me about Kim and Jared, convincing Kim to go shopping with her, Alice, and Rachel. "I'm going to be a bridesmaid, you should see my dress!" She opened her closet, pulling the dress out and removing the garment bag.

"It's beautiful. I heard they were planning on a winter wedding." I jumped off the bed to get a better look, "It really is something." I could feel my stomach reminding me that I had skipped breakfast. "So what else is going on? The three of you are planning a Halloween party for next week?" I talked as I walked out of her room, I knew her parents kept food in the house, if not for they for Jacob who was a never ending eating machine.

"Yeah, hey, now that you're here you're going to come, right?" I could see her planning something already. "You could just wait, surprise Embry at the party, it would be great, you walking down the steps and into his arms, removing your mask and revealing your true identity."

I groaned, "I don't know about that, that I want to walk anywhere near his arms. I don't know what's going on with us, there's something I can't quite put my finger on." I shook my head, popping a granola bar in my mouth and grabbing an orange out of a bowl. I exhaled noisily, blowing my hair out of my face, my fingers slowing peeling the orange, I looked at Ness, "You can't tell Jake I'm back yet either." I saw her nod, "I'm not sure what I'm going to say to him yet, we've been writing, he says he forgives me, he understands, but I don't know. I know he did what he thought was best, it just bothers me in some way that he made decisions about me, that affected me in such a major way without consulting me." I slowly chew an orange slice, "I don't want anyone to ever think they can control me."

Nessie looked around, her parents having left giving us the house to ourselves. "Have you seen your birthday Jeep yet?"

I shook my head, Emmett had shown it me when we got back, pointing out that it was almost an exact replica of his, reminding me that since I now had my own I wouldn't feel the need to steal his. The only difference was mine being the two door version, so in Carlisle's words it wouldn't become a 'party wagon', whatever that was.

She grabbed a piece of paper, scribbling a note to her parents. "We should go for a drive, there's something you need to see."

I finished my orange, debating whether I should check in with someone at the house, telling them that I was leaving. I saw the note; I hoped that would be enough. Nessie and I got in the Jeep, she directed me to head west, taking me to La Push. I looked over at her, knowing where she was taking me. "Ness, I'm not ready to talk to him yet."

"I said I had to show you something, not that you had to talk." I could see her watching me out of the corner of her eye, "turn here." I followed her directions, pulling up in front of a small single story house, I noticed Jake's car parked in the drive. "Stay here, I'll be right back." She hopped out, walking into the house without knocking. I stayed in the Jeep, thankful for the dark tinted windows even if I didn't need them the way the rest of my family did. I watched the clock, waiting for her to come back. I saw her come bouncing back, a dark figure at the door watching her. I could see that it was Jake.

"Now what?"

"There's something you need to see for yourself, I'll show you." She gave me more directions, I could see that were going to the same beach I had been drawn to the night my world had imploded. We parked; she and I got out of the Jeep, but didn't leave the parking lot. She pulled me to where we could see the beach. She didn't need words, I could see.

I couldn't take my eyes off him, this was the first time I had seen him in months. He looked pale under his beautiful russet skin, thinner, and not like I remembered him. I could see him sitting, watching the waves. He was looking at something in his hands, I couldn't make out what it was from where I was, "Ness, what is he holding?" I knew her eyes could see more than mine.

"You." The word came out as a whisper. "He hasn't been the same since you left, like he's missing a piece of himself. He carries that picture you gave him everywhere." I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

I turned, running to the Jeep, tears on my cheeks. "Get in!" I saw the surprise on her face, but I knew what I had to do. I sped out of the lot, tracing the route back to Jacobs. I shifted to park, stumbling out of the door. Nessie followed me, still unsure what I was doing. I didn't bother knocking, pushing the door open. Working on pure emotion now it didn't register at first that I had just run into a house of wolves. I saw Jake and another's face look at me in surprise, then recognition. "Jake, if I leave Ness here can you take care of her, make sure she gets home?"

I could see the confusion in his face; the other face was still only registering shock, his jaw hanging slack. "Yeah" he drew out the word, his eyes going back and forth between Nessie and me. "What's going on?"

I turned, giving Ness a hug, "Thanks." I turned back to face the other two, tears collecting on my cheeks again, shrugging, I said the only thing I could, "Embry."

I ran outside, getting back to the beach in record time. All the while hoping that he hadn't left. My brakes squealed as I slammed the Jeep into park. My eyes on him as he turned at the noise. I was suddenly hesitant, walking towards him instead of running the way my body was screaming at me to. I saw him stand, his head leaning to one side. I saw his face come alive as soon as he saw me. His legs swallowed the distance between us; I pulled him to me as soon as we were close enough to touch. I felt warm for the first time. I didn't want to let go, my tears running down his chest, my voice shaky with sobs. "Embry, I'm sorry, so sorry." My mouth heavy with emotion, "please forgive me."

I felt his arms tighten around me, his lips pressing down on my head. His words whispered in my hair, "done. I can't believe you're here, you're really here right?" He pulled himself back, holding me at arms-length, his eyes searching my face. "You're back, no more leaving?"

I pulled him close to me again, my voice bouncing off him, "I'm home."

I stayed wrapped in his arms, I don't know how long. His arms around me, his gentle voice washing over me, my face lying against him. He sat down, pulling me down to him, his legs spread out, my back against his chest, his arms wrapped around me. He rested his chin on my shoulder, "Does this mean we can start over? That you've forgiven me?"

I pulled his arms tighter around me, a warmth surrounding me, warming me inside and out. I nodded my head against him, there were no words needed. We spent the day together and most of the night too, talking. At some point we went back to his house, I knew I had to call home, let them know where I was. Nessie had already told them. I could feel myself getting sleepy; see that Embry's eyes struggle to stay open. I crawled out from his arms, draping a blanket over him, kissing him on the cheek. I looked for a piece of paper, or something that I could leave a note for him on, finally settling on a crayon and a piece of construction paper, wondering who in the house had a kid. I shook my head that would be another question, for another day.

Embry,

I hope you have the sweetest dreams, I know I will now that I've seen you. I'll see you soon; I can't wait to start the next chapter together. Until I see you again you'll be in my thoughts.

Yours,

Dawn

I got home still on an emotional high. The sun was coming up, but I knew Carlisle and Esme would understand. I might have to do some explaining to Emmett and Jasper, but I knew Alice and Rosalie would be in my corner. I parked, singing to myself as I walked in the house, feeling like for the first time I was free, that everything was finally where it should have always been. I stopped, seeing Nessie at the table, crying in Bella's arms.


	39. Chapter 39

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

I couldn't believe it, at first I thought I had been dreaming. Dawn had come home; she had come back to me. I moved, suddenly I felt like I was falling. I was on the floor. I looked around, confused, was I dreaming? Slowly the room came into focus, I was in the living room at my house, my feet tangled in a blanket. Sunlight was filtering in through the windows. I looked down, the scent of Dawn still clinging to my skin. I couldn't believe it, she had been here, had come back to me, and I had fallen asleep. Just as I started to mentally beat myself up I was aware of what had woken me, sirens in the distance. I jumped to my feet, once outside I could tell they were coming from a few blocks away. I ran barefoot, seeing a fire crew in front of a crushed truck, an ambulance speeding past me. I stopped, horrified by what I saw. It was Sam's truck. I looked around, trying to figure out what was going on, had Sam been hurt? I shook my head, not likely. Even if he had been he would have been able to shake it off. I saw Leah and Seth running over. I met up with them, "Do you guys know what's going on?"

They shook their heads, horrified expressions on their faces.

Leah looked at me, "Sam's on patrol." I could hear the question in her voice. I ran to the truck, needing, but not wanting to see. It was empty.

I looked, finding a rescue worker standing near by, "what happened, who was driving?" I could see him avert his gaze; I grabbed his arm, growling, "Tell me, I'm family."

I saw the fear on his face, "The lady that was driving, she must have slipped in the mud, her and the kid were both pretty banged up." I felt the world shrink around me, I dropped his arm, running at full speed to the woods, not even waiting to be sure I couldn't be seen, phasing and howling for the pack.

I tried to control my thoughts, not wanting Sam to find out that way, still trying to piece together what happed. "There's been an accident; I need to talk to everyone."

"What happened?"

"Who was it?"

"Surprised Embry's awake after last night."

"Where are you?"

I looked around, realizing that I was behind the school, "Behind the school, just everyone get here, now!"

"Maybe I'll see Claire, Emily was taking her since I was patrolling."

I suddenly knew, it made sense. I phased again, the realization that it was Emily and Claire in the truck too much. I was heaving when the pack gathered around.

"Must have been a pretty gnarly accident to make him loose his lunch." I turned, looking at Quil, not wanting to tell him. I saw Leah and Seth, they knew too.

I took a breath, "Sam, Quil, it was Emily, she and Claire were both taken to the hospital, I don't know what happened, how they are." I jumped back, Sam exploding into black. He turned, running through the woods towards Forks, towards the hospital. Quil had a look of horror, then he too exploded running towards the same destination.

Jake immediately took charge, sending Leah, who was the fastest runner, after them with shorts. If it hadn't been so serious it would have almost been funny, the speed at which Paul and I both tore off our shorts, Leah in too much of a hurry to fasten them under her lag band, carrying them in her mouth instead. Jacob immediately started delegating, He was going to go to the hospital, find out what was going on, the rest of us assigned to find out what had happened, notify the tribal elders, contact Claire's parents and bring them to the hospital, patrols, and sending someone to bring a change of clothes to the hospital for Sam and Quil.

Everyone broke up, off to do their assigned duties. Paul and I ran through the woods, phasing, to get to Sam and Emily's place. After borrow clothes from Sam we packed a bag for the both of them. We went to my house next, grabbing a bag for Quil. We got to the hospital, meeting Jake as he was walking out. "What's going on, are they ok?"

He rubbed his hand on his face, "Emily looks like she'll be ok, they're going to transfer Claire to Seattle. The poor kids in rough shape." I saw the pain on his face, it was mirrored on Paul and I's.

Paul and I hurried inside, finding Sam and Emily in the emergency room. Emily was bruised, her arm in a sling, a black eye already forming. She was crying, Sam holding her in his arms. I stopped, not wanting to interrupt, I put Sam's bag on the ground next to him, making eye contact, and then turning with Paul to find Quil and Claire's family.

Quil was openly crying, pacing back and forth in the waiting room, "They took her right in, she's in surgery." He started sobbing again. "They said as soon as she comes out of surgery they're sending her to the children's hospital, but they had to stabilize her first." I went to him, holding him as he sobbed onto my shirt.

"I'll stay here with you, when they move her, we'll go with her." Paul sat with us, waiting. Claire's parents weren't there yet, I'm sure the other guys would have had to find them at work first. I looked around for Leah, but didn't see her. Quil was in my shorts so I knew she had been there.

Claire's parents walked in, running to where we were seated, "All they could tell us was she was being stabilized, then they're going to fly her to Seattle, have they told you anything else?" Her dad was frantic, her mom sobbing too hard for words.

We all shook our heads, "No, that's all they've told us." I didn't know what else to, if there was something I should be doing. Paul and I took turns running outside, phasing, using the 'wolf pack cell service' to see what was going on, if Jake needed us for anything else, and to update them as much as we could about Claire and Emily. Paul left me with Quil and Claire's parents, going downstairs to see what was going on with Emily. How Sam was holding up. They had decided to admit Emily, wanting to keep an eye on her head injuries. Sam was beside himself, out of his mind with worry, his loyalties divided between his wife and his pack. Paul was able to assure him that Jake had it under control, everything was being taken care of, all he had to do was focus on Emily.

Quil had gone silent, staring off at nothing. The tears falling, making puddles on the shirt I was able to convince him to put on. I knew he was hurting, how much he cared about that little girl, what she meant to him. There wasn't anything I could do, so I just sat there, next to him, waiting.


	40. Chapter 40

CHAPTER FORTY

I looked at Nessie, at Bella, not understanding. "What happened?"

Nessie ran over, hugging me, "There was an accident, Claire and Emily were hurt." I searched my brain, the names were familiar, but I couldn't place them. Ness saw my confusion, "Emily is Sam's wife, and Claire is Quil's imprint." She said it like it was something I would understand.

"Are they ok?" I wasn't sure what my response was supposed to be, I knew who Sam was, and I knew of Quil even if I hadn't met him.

Ness shook her head, "I don't know. I'm waiting for Jake or someone to call." She looked around, "No one here can bring me to the hospital, everyone thinks they moved away." I saw the pained look on her face, her desire to be near her friends.

I hugged her back, my keys still in my hand. "Come on, I'll take you."

I saw the relief on her face, Carlisle came over, "Dawn, I don't know if the hospital is a good place for you, all the sickness the injuries." I saw him shaking his head, "It might be too much for you, you know you can't let anyone injured touch you." He looked at me, underscoring his words, "I can't emphasize that enough, no one can touch you, you can take a lot, but the hospital is going to be dangerous for you."

"I know, and I'll be careful." I looked at Ness, hovering by the door, "As soon as we can we'll both be home."

"Here, take this with you" Esme handed me a cell phone, "I wanted to give it to you before you went out the first time," she raised her eyebrows at me, "but since you left unexpectantly I didn't get the chance. Just check in; let us know what's going on, if there's anything we can do to help." I slipped the phone in my pocket, hugging Esme and running outside with Ness.

When we got to the hospital I pulled over, letting Nessie out first, not sure how I was going to react to going into a place filled with the sick and injured. I found a place to park; I walked slowly towards the main entrance, trying to breathe normally and be aware of what I was feeling. I felt my body sag with relief, Embry was walking towards me.

"Should you be here?" I could hear the worry in his voice.

"I brought Ness, she said that the two that were hurt, Emily and Claire were her friends, she had to know what was going on, had to be here with them." I looked up, the sun was shining. "There was no one else to bring her."

"I understand that, but is it safe for you to be here, around all these people, around all the pack?"

I shrugged, squeezing his hand and taking a step towards the door. "I hope so, but if something happens, just get me out of here. And don't let anyone touch me." I smiled up at him. I momentarily froze when we walked in, all the smells of sickness hitting me. I squeezed Embry's hand, pulling it up towards me face, using his scent, the wonderful woodsy salted aroma to drown out the other smells.

"You don't have to do this, we can leave." I saw the concern, the worry on his face.

"It's alright, as long as I don't think about it, as long as I'm with you." We crossed the main lobby, turning down a hallway. I felt the hair on my neck rise, my body stiffening as I realized who was standing, waiting, in front of me.

"Sam, are they moving her now? Where is she going?" I heard Embry's voice, but all I could see was a giant of a man, his face the same face I saw when my world crumbled. I squeezed at Embry's hand, my feet refusing to move.

Sam looked at Embry, his eyes falling on me. "Dawn, I wish circumstances had been better for our meeting, that it could have been anywhere but here." He offered his hand to me, his face distorted with grief.

I wasn't thinking, wasn't focused, I reached for his hand, taking it into mine. Suddenly my vision was filled with blinding lights, my chest on fire, an indescribable ache wracking my body. I realized I was crying, my body feeling the emotional pain Sam was in, experiencing it as real pain. I knew what was happened, but I was powerless to stop it, my body going rigid, unable to pull away. I was yanked free, Embry's voice filling my senses. "Dawn, Dawn, answer me, talk, say something." I felt someone shaking me.

I blinked, seeing Embry's worried face peering down at me, Sam standing next to me. I looked around; we were in a small square box, the walls reflecting back at us. "I'm ok; I just forgot not to touch him."

Sam's voice filled the small room, circles of light blinking on the wall, "Dawn I appreciate that you want to be here, that you brought Nessie, but I don't think this is a good place for you." Embry pulled me to my feet, the wall separated into a door. The three of us walked down a hallway, going into a room where I met Emily.

She was beautiful, even under the bruises I could see it. She turned to face us when we walked in; I saw the angry red parallel slashes that ran down her face, down her arm. I shuddered, thinking of my own scars, how they were similar, but different. I saw the love that flowed between her and Sam, it was almost tangible. I felt like I was interrupting. I squeezed Embry's hand, nodding to the door. He understood. "Emily, I'm glad you're up now. I'm going to take Dawn upstairs to check with Ness then have her take me back to the Res. Do you need anything, anything at all? Sam, you need anything?" The both shook their heads, focusing only on each other.

Embry and I left, pulling the door shut behind us we did. I could tell Embry wanted to ask me what had happened with Sam, but he wouldn't at least not there in the hospital where people might hear. We got back to the waiting room with Claire's friends and family still waiting for news. My breath caught when we walked in, half the room was filled with Embry and Jake look-a-likes. It was easy to spot the wolves, not only were they all sitting around Quil, but they all had the same tanned skin, the same silky ink-black hair, the same hard strong bodies. I was momentarily taken aback, realizing that one of the wolves was a woman. Embry quickly went through everyone's names, I didn't catch them all, Embry and both aware and more cautious of my not shaking anyone's hands or touching them. Embry brushed one of the younger looking boys out a chair, sitting me in it, between Nessie and himself.

Nessie looked over, whispering, "Carlisle called, he spoke with a friend, a doctor colleague of his, he's a trauma surgeon at the children's hospital Claire is going to, he's going to take her case as a favor to Carlisle." Nessie squeezed my hand, I saw Embry tense up. I could only smile at him, I had a lot to explain to him later.

It was almost noon when the surgeon came out, he talked with Claire's parents and Quil. Telling them what she had found, what she had been able to repair, and even as they spoke we could hear the helicopter coming. Quil turned around, telling us that Claire was more stable now, but still not out of the woods. His face was twisted, contorted with pain. He hugged Claire's family, all of their pain worn clearly on their faces.

Jake went to him, putting his arm around his shoulder, "come on, we're going to take you up there." He looked to the parents, "do you need us to take you too?" They shook their heads. I followed Jake, Quil, and Nessie, holding onto Embry. In the elevator Jake turned to me, his palm out, "Dawn, can I have your keys?" I didn't hesitate, pulling them from my pocket and handing them over. Out of the hospital Jake turned to Embry, speaking in a language that was like none I had ever heard, and then running off into a stand of trees. I understood enough at this point to know that Jake was passing information along to the rest of the pack.

I looked at Embry, not sure what was going on, if we were all going, if Jake was going to drive Quil, if Jake and Ness were going to take him. The question was quickly answered when Jacob joined back up with us in the garage. He jumped in the Jeep with Ness and Quil. He looked at Embry and me, "Everyone else is running home, Jared will send Kim to pick you two up." He looked at me, "Thanks Dawn, I'll try to get it back to you as soon as I can, in the meantime Billy has an extra set of keys for mine."

Nessie spoke from the backseat, "Tell my mom I'll call." And they were gone.


	41. Chapter 41

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

I turned to Dawn; I couldn't believe she was there, that she had come. I shook my head, I should be angry, that she put herself at risk just to be there with Nessie, to be there with me. I couldn't be. I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her, thankful she was there. "I can't believe you came, that you were here."

She pulled back, looking up at me, her bottom lip between her teeth. "Where else was I supposed to be?" I could see her chin tremble, "that little girl, Quil's sister? Is she going to be ok?"

I didn't correct her assumption; there would be time for that later. "I'm not sure, I hope so. The hospital they're taking her to is really good, it's the best place for her right now." I led her out of the garage, finding a bench near enough to the road that I could see in Kim pulled up.

Dawn sat next to me, pulling a small cell phone from her pocket. I watched as she touched a button then put it to her ear, "Esme, they're taking her there now. Yeah, Nessie said that he did, it's great; tell him everyone really appreciates it. I don't know yet, Yeah, Emily is ok. Nessie and Jake are taking Quil there; I'm going to go back with Embry. Yeah, she said she would call when they got there or when they knew anything. Ok, I'll let you know. I know, I love you too." She hung up, looking at me, "She said to let everyone know that if you need anything, they can do anything to help just let them know.

I raised an eyebrow at her, "You're coming back to La Push with me?"

She blushed pink, "uh-huh." She looked away, then looked back at me, "I can help, I'll be with you, if I go home all I'll do is drive everyone insane, AND" she grinned, "I'll have to explain why I'm driving an antique when I left this morning in brand new vehicle."

I could only shake my head, "I'm glad you're coming back, just" I made my face serious, "don't touch anyone, don't let anyone touch you." I almost didn't ask, "Does it hurt you when I touch you?"

She laughed, "No, your touch could never hurt me, you care about me, you would never let that happen." I saw her look around, lowering her voice, "My gift doesn't work like that. I can only take pain, physical pain if they're experiencing it when I touch them."

"What about today, what happened with Sam? What was that?"

Dawn shook her head, "I'm not sure, the only time I've been able to receive someone's emotional pain is if I'm connected to them, if it's someone I care about, like my family, it's never happened like that with a stranger, with someone I didn't have a connection to." She chewed her bottom lip again, "I'm going to have to ask Carlisle, maybe it was just being in the hospital, being so close to so many people in pain?"

I saw Kim's car, I stood, flagging her down. She pulled to a stop in front of us. As I opened the door, lifting the seat forward I saw her look at Dawn for the first time. She smiled, waving at her. "You must be Dawn, I've heard a LOT about you." She started laughing; I felt my ears turning color. Yeah, this was going to be a fun ride home.

Kim drove us straight to Sam and Emily's; even if they weren't there it was still the hub of activity for the pack. I knew Dawn was tired, she had to be having been up all night with me. The three of us walked in, the house already full with the rest of the pack. Jared and Paul were standing together, with a jerk of their head calling me over when I walked in. I made my way to them, Dawn in tow. I saw the distain on Paul's face when he saw her, but he didn't say anything. "Jake said that we should just run patrols, not to worry about anything else for right now, not until we know more of what's going on." I looked at Jared, he was right.

I felt Dawn drop my hand, stepping back as I continued talking, calling the rest of the pack over to divvy up assignment. I tried to keep an eye on her, watching her talk to Kim. I turned my focus back on the pack. Deciding that due to the uncertainty, with Jake and Sam both being away for now, that we were going to run round the clock, both to patrol, but also so that there would always be someone on and awake should there be any changes or any news. We sorted out the schedule; with three missing members we cut the number to two on patrol, teams working 8 hrs. I could feel how tired I was, I took the midnight to 8am shift, hoping that I would find a chance to sleep between then and now.

The schedule decided the conversation spread out, everyone wondering what had caused the accident, what was happening to Claire. I stretched out on a chair, scanning the house, looking for Dawn. I locked eyes with Jared, mouthing her name to him, had he seen her? He shook his head. I stood, worried, looking for her, going outside and not finding her there either. I almost walked in to Paul in my rush to find her. "Loose something, again?" I sucked in a breath, wanting to punch him, but knowing that wouldn't solve anything right now.

"Have you seen her? She was just here."

"No, but I have a pretty good idea that she's not here." He pointed to the front of Sam's house, Kim's car was missing.

"Do you know where she went?" My eyes went to the road, trying to see Kim's car.

"Hopefully home, back to where she belongs." His voice was hard, he was a firm believer that we shouldn't be involved with the Cullen's, that who we are shouldn't be shared outside of the tribe.

I bristled, my voice a snarl, "She belongs here, she belongs with me."

"You think she's going to stick around this time, or is a big bad wolf going to scare her away again?" He snorted with laughter, "Only you could have imprinted on a crazy, it was bad enough that Jacob imprinted on Nessie, but you don't even know what this girl is, what she can do."

"I'm sorry, not all of us can imprint on the Beta's sister, was that as close as you could get to Jake without it being him?" I knew I was going for the low-blow; something that Paul had been teased about before and we all knew would push his buttons. I was tired, I was angry that Dawn had left without saying good bye. I was tired of everyone telling that Dawn didn't belong here. Saying that to Paul was going to lead to a fight, and right then that's what I wanted.

Paul connected with my nose, the warm gush of blood dripping down my chin; I hit next, hearing the satisfying crunch of my fist on the side of his face. We hit the ground, rolling around, beating on each other. The pack came outside, the sounds of Paul and I trading insults was an invitation for them to watch and take bets.

"I bet Paul phases first, he usually does."

"Embry is angrier, maybe that will give him an edge."

"Oh shit, break them up, Kim's coming."

"Dawn's in the car with her."

I felt someone pulling Paul and I apart, voices telling me that Dawn was back. I stood, seeing Kim's car coming up the hill, my eyes looking down, seeing all the blood on my shirt, the blood on Paul as well. I reached up, setting my nose before it healed crookedly and had to be broken and reset. "Take your shirt off" I whispered to Paul, taking mine off as well. I saw the look Paul gave me, "Before Dawn sees it, I don't want her to know we were fighting." He rolled his eyes at me, but took his off as well. I used mine to quickly swipe at my face, hoping I didn't look to bad, knowing that within the hour I would be healed.

Kim parked, she and Dawn opening the car doors, walking towards us with bags in their hands. I walked over, taking the bags out of Dawn's. "Where did you two go?'

I could see the fear in Dawn's eyes, her face going back and forth between Paul and me, "what happened? Kim took me to the store so you all could talk," she reached up, to touch my face, but I ducked in time.

"Don't, this will be gone soon." I saw a few looks as I walked passed Jared and Collin, them not understanding the harsh tone I used with Dawn.

I put the bags on the table, positioning myself behind a chair as to not accidentally touch her. Jared put Kim's bags down, helping her unpack the groceries. I could feel the eyes of the pack on me, not sure what was happening between Dawn and I, but able to feel the tension.

"I wasn't trying to touch you, not like that; I just wanted to see the damage." She shook her head at me, "You were fighting?"

"It was nothing, just burning some emotions." I looked around, at all the bags of food she and Kim had brought back. "What is all of this?"

She smiled looking over at Kim, "We were hungry, figured you guys would be too. Esme always tells me that when you don't know what to do to help that you feed people."

The tension gone, Kim shoed everyone out of the kitchen, except Dawn. I flopped on the couch next to Paul, "Rachel coming?"

He nodded, "after work, she knows what's going on, but didn't want to leave her classroom after what happened." I nodded, Rachel was a teacher, I couldn't remember what grade, but knew it was at the Elementary. He looked down, swallowing a laugh, "I'm going to have to change before she gets here, if she sees me like this she'll be pissed."

I looked down at my shorts, "Yeah, I should change too." I threw my head back, seeing Kim and Dawn talking, pouring pasta into a pot of boiling water, the house coming alive with smells of tomato's and garlic. "If we leave now we'll be back in time to eat." I got up, telling Dawn that I would be right back. I saw her eyes widen, the both of us realizing at the same time that I was leaving her alone in a house filled with wolves. I saw her swallow, I wanted to scoop her in my arms, but could still feel the tightness in my face, knowing it wasn't healed completely yet... "I was just going to run home, to change, but I'll stay, have Paul bring me back something clean."

I saw her shake her head, "I'll be fine, really. It's ok, there's nothing you need to protect me from here." I pulled looked at her face, into her eyes. She believed what she was saying.

"I'll be right back."


	42. Chapter 42

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

I turned to Embry as he wrapped his arms around me, letting him lead me to a bench to wait for Kim. I called Esme, knowing that she would be worried, and wanting to let everyone know that Nessie was on her way to the Children's Hospital with Jake and Quil. I felt bad for him, his little sister so injured. I was glad when she confirmed what Ness had said earlier, that Carlisle friend, a pediatric trauma surgeon had agreed to take on Claire's case after Carlisle explained to him that Claire was a family friend. I hung up with Esme, telling her that I was going to La Push.

I saw Embry raise an eyebrow, "You're coming back to La Push with me?"

I felt the heat on my face, knowing that I might not be too useful there, but knowing that if I went home I would drive everyone insane with my worrying, and I would have to explain why the second time I took my new Jeep out I handed the keys over. I tried explaining that to him, but I could see the worry on his face, warning me not to touch anyone or let anyone touch me. I could tell it was hard for him to ask, "Does it hurt you when I touch you?" I noticed that he had left his hands at his side, not taking my hand in his after I hung up.

I couldn't help it, I laughed. "No, it doesn't work like that." I glanced around, keeping my voice low, "I can only take pain, physically pain from someone as they are experiencing it as I touch them."

"What about today, what happened with Sam? What was that?"

I could only shake my head, I couldn't explain it, I had only experienced emotion pain, or any kind of none physical pain from my family members, people that I was close to, people that loved or cared about. "I'm not sure, the only time I've been able to receive someone's emotional pain is if I'm connected to them, if it's someone I care about, like my family, it's never happened like that with a stranger, with someone I didn't have a connection to." I chewed my bottom lip again, "I'm going to have to ask Carlisle, maybe it was just being in the hospital, being so close to so many people in pain?" Being there, that close to so many people, seeing their pain, it wasn't a painful feeling for me, just an uncomfortable one.

Embry stood suddenly, flagging down a car. He reached in, pulling the seat forward to allow me access to the back. As I climbed in I came face to face with Kim, she wasn't exactly beautiful, but she was lovely in her own way, her wide face home to beautiful dark eyes that were surrounded by the most amazing eyelashes. She flashed a bright smile at me, "You must be Dawn, I've heard a LOT about you?" I didn't know what to say, how I was supposed to respond. I looked at Embry, the tips of his ears turning pink.

It was a quiet ride, I was sure Embry was tired, I knew I was. I couldn't help but notice that Kim kept looking in her rearview mirror, I'm sure trying to slyly check me out, and figure out what it was the Embry saw in me. As that was a question I asked myself repeatedly and not finding an answer I wasn't sure what she would find either. She pulled up to a white colored house; I could see that most of the guys from the hospital were now there. I latched on to Embry's hand, fully aware that I was in a house filled with wolves. I had to take a few deep breathes, reminding myself that they were different, these weren't the objects of my nightmares.

I could see two of the taller, older looking ones motioning for Embry to join them. Embry crossed the room, his hand still intertwined with mine. I looked at the two of them, the taller of the two smiled at me, the smile reaching his eyes. The other one, just a hair shorted, but broader, his eyes were not friendly. I could feel his eyes on me, anger almost flashing in them. I shivered involuntarily, dropping Embry's hand to avoid his gaze.

I stepped back, rubbing my arms with my hands, suddenly feeling alone and out of place. I turned, not sure if I should have come. I saw Kim walking towards me, her beautiful white smile beaming at me. "I'm going to run to the store, I'm sure everyone will want to eat soon, you look like you could use the escape, wanna come?"

I immediately liked Kim, her ability to make me feel like I belonged there. "Yeah, sure, love to." I slid in the car next to, "thanks, they seemed like they were having a conversation that I really wasn't invited to."

She waved her hand dismissively, "that was just Paul, ignore him, we all do." I saw the grin, "The other one, the tall good looking guy, that's Jared." She wiggled her left hand at me, "We just got engaged."

"Ok, now I remember," I thought about all the letters Embry and I had exchanged, how much he had told me about everyone. "Embry told me, I just hadn't put it together yet." I looked at the ring, noticing a leather bracelet that looked very similar to one that Ness wore. "Your ring is beautiful, the bracelet too." I noticed a wooden wolf hanging from it.

"Thanks, I'm surprised you don't have a bracelet too." I could see the puzzlement on her face. "Well, I'm sure he'll give you one soon enough."

I wanted to ask her what she meant, what bracelet, what did that mean? I couldn't, she was already opening the door in front of a small market. I walked next to her, a cart in front of us, "What do they like to eat?"

"Are you kidding? They'll eat anything, they're pigs, but I was thinking pasta, it's relatively inexpensive, it will feed everyone, there might even be leftovers." I watched as she grabbed about a dozen boxed of noodles and an equal amount of jarred sauce.

I looked at the amount of food piling up in the cart, pasta, sauce, cheese, bread, veggies for what I could only imagine becoming the worlds largest salad. "Are more coming?"

She shook her head, laughter in her eyes, "Have you never seen them eat?"

"Just once, Embry and Jake ate pizza."

"Well if they were in public maybe they were able to control themselves."

I shook my head at the memory, "They ate three pizzas, minus the slice I had."

"Yeah, that sounds about right, now multiple that by everyone there, we may need a few more things." She went down another aisle, throwing cake and brownie mixes in the cart along with everything else.

We piled everything on the belt at the register, grinning at each other when asked if we were feeding an army. When the final item was entered the total was given. I reached in my pocket, pulling out the black card that Jasper and Alice had given me along with my Driver License and other assorted cards and ID's. I saw Kim open her mouth, trying to hand her card over. "No, let me." I looked at her, "Really, my parents would be upset if I didn't pay, I insist." I pushed her hand back, handing my card to the clerk. The clerk scanned my card, and with a flourish of my name we were back in her car.

"I didn't invite you to pay the bill." I could hear the annoyance in her voice.

"I know, but it's ok, besides, my mom had told me to do whatever I could to help out, I'm just listening to her." I smiled at Kim, hoping that she understood what I was trying to say.

I could see her concentrating ahead of us as we headed up the hill to the house. "What are they doing? Who is that out there?"

I looked up, feeling dread as I recognized Embry rolling on the ground, fighting with someone. I knew it was probably because I was there. "I shouldn't have come."

"Nonsense, everyone knows you belong to Embry, some people," she emphasized the words, "just have to accept that."

I saw Embry and the other, maybe Paul; I couldn't be sure, stand up, Embry taking off his shirt, wiping his face with it.

Embry walked over as Kim and I were getting the bags from the backseat, taking the bags out of my hands, "Where did you two go?"

I looked at him, seeing his battered face, looking behind him, the anger still apparent on the face of the other one. The look he gave me, I wanted to run. I turned my head back to Embry, his face expectant. "I went to the store with Kim; we were getting stuff for lunch." I could only see part of the damage; I reached up, wanting to turn his face, to see the full extent of his injuries.

He snapped at me, "Don't" I pulled my hands back quickly, "It'll be gone soon." I wasn't used to this tone with Embry; I didn't know how to respond to it.

I realized that he thought I was going to heal him, "I wasn't going to do that, I just wanted to see how bad it was." I let out an exasperated sigh. "You were fighting?"

I helped Kim unpack the groceries, not believing him when he told me it was nothing, but willing to change the subject, aware that we had an audience. I saw Kim notice too, thankful when she shooed him and Jared out of the kitchen. I was surprised when Kim said that this was Sam and Emily's house, I had just assumed that it was her and Jared's. "Nope, but even if they're not here it's still the center, where everyone wants to be." I sat at the table chopping veggies and mixing the salad, letting Kim tell me stories as I struggled to stay awake.

As she was pulling the lasagna noodles from the water, I began mixing the ricotta, aware that Embry had walked over. I really looked at him, seeing him stand in front of me, his shirt off, his eyes on me. I felt my pulse quicken, a blush rising to my cheeks. "I'm going to run home real quick, change out of Sam's clothes that I think I may have ruined." I looked at him, realizing that he was going to leave me here, alone, with a house full of wolves. I felt my body stiffen, momentarily paralyzed by fear. I saw him take in my reaction, understanding that I was afraid.

"I'll stay, I'll have Paul bring me back something clean, I won't leave you." His words were hurried.

I stopped, realizing as soon as I had felt the fear it was gone. I could see the kindness in everyone's eyes, knowing that I was protected here, that I was safe, telling Embry that it was ok. I could see the question on his face, "Really, I'm fine, it's ok."

He took one more look, searching my face for any sign that I wasn't, he must have been satisfied with what he saw. "I'll be right back." And he was gone.

I rolled my eyes at Kim, "One of these days he's going to have to learn he can't protect me from everything that I can take care of myself."

"I wouldn't bet on it, he's a wolf, that's what they do to those they love, they protect them."

I coughed, choking on my words. "Are you serious? Friends, we're friends."

She grinned, "Uh huh, well that explains a few things."

Jared come over, pulling Kim into his arms. "And what are you two ladies up to in here? Time to eat yet?"

"Not yet, but if you want you could help Dawn finish making the lasagnas while I make the desserts."

I saw Jared wink at me, "I don't want to be in the way, maybe I'll just go check on everyone."

Paul and Embry were back as the lasagna was being taken from the oven, as everyone began eating Embry introduced me to everyone. I tried keeping everyone's names straight, but I knew I wouldn't. I was surprised at how quickly he and Paul healed; there wasn't a scratch on them. I reached out, running my finger down the side of his face where I was certain there had been a cut. Embry took my fingers in his hand, "See I told you there was nothing to worry about, we heal fast."

The conversation drifted back to a subject no one wanted to bring up or talk about, Emily and Claire. There was no new news, nothing that we hadn't known when we left the hospital. I looked at the clock, if Jake drove the speed limit they might not be at the hospital yet with Quil, but I was sure even if they had to wait for the ferry they were already there.

I could see the tiredness of his face; he looked as tired as I felt. "Are you going to be able to take me home or should I call for a ride?" I knew I didn't want to find whoever Billy was for a spare key to Jake's car, I was too tired to drive. I knew if I called home someone would pick me up, even if I would have to explain where my Jeep was.

Embry yawned, a crooked smile forming, "You could just stay here; I could take you home before I go on patrol."

I shook my head, "I don't think that would go over too well with Emmett, Jasper, and the rest of the family." I could picture my overprotective brothers being less than thrilled, Esme too.

"Why not, they know I'd never do anything to hurt you, and we're both too tired to drive." I could see him cocking his head, trying to do his best to get me to stay.

I yawned, "OK, just let me call them and tell them I'll be home late." I dialed Alice's number, knowing she would be the most understanding and that way she could tell everyone and I wouldn't have to listen to them until I got home. She wasn't suspicious, her abilities useless I knew when I was here. I didn't tell her I was going to bed, just that I wouldn't be home till close to midnight.


	43. Chapter 43

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

I couldn't believe that I convinced Dawn to stay. I quickly finished eating, deciding that I would rather spend more time with her than food. I walked towards the door, stopping to ask Seth, who I would be relieving, to make sure I was awake if he hadn't heard from me by 11, wanting to make sure I could get Dawn home before one of her siblings came looking for her.

I reached for Dawn's hand as we started walking, glad she was staying. "You going to tell me what the fight was about?" I didn't want to, I really didn't, but I knew if I didn't tell her she'd find out anyway.

"It wasn't really anything; we all fight all the time, too much testosterone." I tried to keep my answer light, not wanting to upset her. "Paul was just out of line. I was irritated, I pushed his buttons, and then you pulled up."

"So it wasn't about me, because I was here?"

I stopped, turning to face her, "You weren't at fault, Paul was just being Paul. He might not like it, but he knows you belong with me." Shit! Had I just said that? Man, I was tired, too tired to think. I looked at Dawn carefully, hoping that she didn't pay attention to the last part.

"Is that like having a buddy-pass? I can hang out with the pack because we're friends?" I guess she did catch the last part, even if she misinterpreted it.

"Something like that." I was relieved to see my house. "We're almost there." I pointed out Jake, Quil, and I's little house set in the trees. Being on the edge of the woods made going on and off patrols easy, we could phase right out back, no need to worry about destroying or carrying clothes unless we wanted.

We walked in and I suddenly realized I wasn't sure where I was planning on having Dawn sleep. I looked down at her, I could see her biting her bottom lip, the way she did when she was thinking about something or nervous. I took a breath, "Um, why don't you follow me," I led her down the hall to my room. "You can sleep here, I'll take the couch."

"Em," her voice was barely a whisper, thick with sleep. I saw what she did, her stack of letters next to my bed, a partially written note to her still lying on my bed. She reached out, picking it up as she laid her head on my pillow. She held it out to me, "will you read it to me?"

I groaned inwardly, she slid over, lying next to the wall to make a spot for me to sit. I took the note, sitting next to her, using my fingers to brush back her hair. I lowered my gaze, seeing the words I had written when I thought she had decided to not come back.

Dear dawn,

I'm hoping that you had such a good time with Emmett and jasper that you didn't have time to write. I miss you, I miss reading your words to me, sometimes funny, sometimes serious, sometimes sad, but always true.

There are so many things that I want to write to you, that I want to tell you, mostly I just want to tell you that I miss you, that you'll come home soon.

I stopped reading, I could tell be her soft steady breathing that she was already asleep. She had wrapped one arm around one of mine, her other arm across my stomach. I set the letter down, dropping a kiss on her head, I lifted her arm off my stomach, attempted to de tangle her arm and mine. She barely stirred, "stay" if it hadn't been for my wolf hearing I wouldn't have heard.

I knew I shouldn't, I knew Dawn had no idea what she was asking. I couldn't stop myself; I lowered myself down until I was lying next to her, her arm now across my chest. She moved in closer, I could feel the chill on her. Our arms no longer tangled together I stretched it out allowing her to use my shoulder as a pillow. I kissed her again, breathing her scent in deeply. I smiled as I drifted off to sleep.

"Embry, Embry wake up." I heard a voice whispering, pulling me from dreams. "You awake?" I looked around, feeling something pressed up against me. I realized it wasn't a dream; Dawn was there, sleeping next to me, her wonderful burnt ember smell filling my senses. "Em, wake up, I gotta go back out!" The voice was sharper, louder now. I blinked, my room dark, a face floating in the dark.

I jerked wake, "What? Who? What's going on?" I tried to focus on the voice, on the face.

"Em, it's me, it's Seth, you need to wake up, wake up sleeping beauty and take her home too." I could hear the grin in his voice, I could only imagine what he was thinking, what he was about to share with the pack.

"Thanks bro, I'm awake, see you in an hour." I turned to focus on Dawn, she was always beautiful to me, be when she slept, her face relaxed revealing a vulnerability that she wouldn't show during the day. I slid out of the bed quietly, knowing that I was going to have to run to Billy's, to pick up the spare key for Jake's truck. I knew if he had come home I would have heard him.

I slipped down the hall, confirming that the house was still empty. Once outside I was thankful for just a sliver of moon, it would make phasing and running to Billy's easier.

"Together, I know, he's such a hound."

"I'm impressed, it didn't take long at all, I didn't think they had moved that far along yet, but good for him."

I heard the thoughts; Seth must have immediately shared what he had seen with the pack. I gritted my teeth, "NO! Just sleeping, trust me."

"Uh- huh, we believe you."

"Seth, tell them, our clothes were on, hell she was under the blanket I was sleeping on top of."

I arrived at Billy's, phasing quickly, not even bothering with my shorts, I reached in the front door, knowing the key hung right inside. I debating whether it was worth phasing again, listening to the taunts, but deciding that phasing was faster and I didn't want Dawn to wake up alone. I tried to steer the conversation elsewhere, "Has anyone heard from Jake? How's Claire?"

"Nothing yet, hope it's a case of no news is good news."

"Me too, gotta take Dawn home so when I come on duty I'll be coming from the Cullen's."

I pulled my shorts on before entering the house, no need for Dawn to get the wrong impression. I checked the clock, not wanting to wake her, but knowing I had to. "Dawn, hon, it's time to wake up." I laid my hand on her shoulder, gently shaking her. She startled awake, I felt her recoil from my touch. I saw the confusion on her face. She huddled in a ball on the corner of the bed, her back against the wall.

"Don't touch me!" Her words were sharp, her eyes wild as she took in the unfamiliar room. I took a step back, not wanting to scare her further, shocked at her reaction. I moved slowly to the light, flipping the switch, light flooding the room. The fear in her voice was like a knife through my heart.

I spoke softly, keeping my hands in front of me, "It's just me, remember you fell asleep here, but I need to take you home now."

Her eyes darted around again, her face relaxing as she remembered and everything came into focus. She brought her hands to her face, "Embry, I'm so sorry" her voice was low, almost too low to hear, "I didn't mean that, I just, it was dark and I didn't recognize you, I'm sorry."

I could see that she was still shaking, but no longer scared. "Is it ok if I come over there?" I didn't want to scare her again. She nodded, still not looking up from her hands; I knew she was embarrassed by her reaction. "Dawn, it's ok." I sat down on the edge of the bed, wanting to pull her close, to erase her nightmares, her thoughts of whatever made her quake in fear. I didn't, I was too afraid that touching her would make it worse.

She reached her hand out, taking mine between both of hers. "I'm sorry Embry, just in the darkness, seeing you, not recognizing you. I still get really afraid of the nights." I ached, wanting to take her pain away, wanting to erase everything that had happened to her. I could feel myself quivering in anger at the thought of her being hurt, of what had happened to her. I focused on the present, trying to bring myself under control.

"Ready to go home? I don't want your family to have to some looking for you." I forced a smile onto my face, for her sake. She nodded, sliding out of bed when I stood.

"Has there been any news yet? Are Ness and Jake back?" She looked over at me from the passenger seat.

"Nothing yet, I'm sure if they had any news they would call."

"I'll check when I get home, maybe Nessie called there, maybe they'll know something."

I came to a stop, parking off to the side. "I'll get off duty around eight, do you want me to come get you or do you want to call when you wake up?"

I saw Dawn suck in her lower lip, "Are you leaving the car here?"

I felt my brow pull together, puzzled by her response. "I was planning on it; if Jake and Ness come home overnight he can leave your Jeep and take it home."

"Yeah, why don't you leave the key too, in case I get up early and need it."

What was she thinking; I could see in her eyes that she was planning something. "Why, what are thinking?"

She bit her bottom lip again, "Well if I wake up early, or I can't go back to sleep, what if I want to go back to La Push before you get off duty, or if something happens overnight."

I could make out a pair of wolf eyes staring in the distance, I knew I had to go, but I knew she was still hiding something. I deliberately placed the key in her hand, "whatever you do, please be careful." I walked her to the door, expecting it to fly open and have to explain to any one of the vampires that lived there why I was returning her so late. I squeezed her hand, "I'll see you tomorrow." I hugged her, relishing in her softness, feeling her arms wrap around me.

"If the truck is here in the morning, or he returns my Jeep and it's here instead, come here after you get off duty." I pulled back, seeing her smile.

"Alright, good night, sweet dreams." I turned, walking in the dark hearing her open the door and go inside. Once I was out of view I phased.

"It's about time, I was about to come investigate what was so interesting about Jake's car that you needed ten extra minutes to explore it."

"Alright Seth, Connor I'll see you guys in the morning." I purposely pushed my thoughts and memories of Dawn to the back of my mind, glad that I was patrolling with Jared tonight.

"So sleeping together, that was fast." I heard the mocking in his thoughts, knowing he knew it was just sleep.

"You know me, I'm The Man!"

"Sure you are. I'll take the north loop, that way I can check on Kim during my La Push loop." I knew that he was also giving me the south loop so I could keep an eye on Dawn.

I tried to keep my mind blank, but with everything that had transpired in the last 24 hours it was hard. I kept seeing the truck, how it looked after the accident, the realization that it was Emily and Claire, having to tell Sam and Quil. Dawn in the hospital, her touching Sam and feeling his emotional devastation as pain. My thoughts were interrupted my Jared, "I know you're just trying to sort this out, but what do you mean, that she felt his pain? How is that possible?"

I remembered the incident, allowing him to see it the way I remembered it, the way Dawn stiffened up in front of the elevator, the pained look on Sam's face, Dawn's grip tightening around my hand, Sam reaching out to shake her hand, the jolt I felt when Dawn touched him, her face contorting in pain. My yanking her free of him, of pulling her into the elevator to prevent anyone from seeing.

"Wow, how does she do that? I thought she was just a pain sponge, regular pain." I knew he wasn't being cruel by calling her a pain sponge; it was an accurate description of her.

"She doesn't know, she said the only time that has happened to her before was with her family, with people she is close to and loves."

I continued on patrol, Jared allowing me to be lost in thought, interrupting only when he had a question or had something to offer. I could see his thoughts as well, glad that everyone had been supportive of Dawn coming out after she and I left. Well Paul was still being Paul, but everyone else seemed to like her. I smiled at Paul's memory of Kim's description of her as a 'granite butterfly', "you may think she's weak, but under that layer is strength."

I thought about Quil, what he must be going through, the waiting, the uncertainty. I hoped that Claire was doing better, that the doctors there were able to help her. Nessie had called her grandpa, Charlie, better known as Chief of Police Swan, had told her it looked like an accident. Emily had slipped off the road after hitting a soft spot, they had rolled and somehow Claire had slipped her seatbelt, they found her on the floor. He didn't know the extent of her injuries, but promised if he heard anything to let us know.

I made another loop, checking the Cullen's through the trees, Dawn's light still off. I made a pass through town, running by the hospital.

"Who's on duty, we're back." I recognized Jacob, he sounded tired.

"Embry and I, how is she? What's going on?"

"They finally stabilized her, she's in the ICU. Right now they're worried about some swelling in her brain. They took her back in for more surgery, trying to relieve it."

"Oh my God"

"Yeah, she's got other injuries, but right now the big worry is whether or not they relieved the swelling in time, she broke her leg, some internal stuff, Quil was beside himself, even volunteering to donate his blood for her."

"He can't do that."

"I know, we reminded him."

"So what now, she's going to get better?"

"Right now it's just a waiting game. I tried to get Quil to come home, we could bring him back tomorrow, but he refused to leave the waiting room, he and her parents are alternating visits, 10 minutes every hour they let someone see her."

"Is she awake?"

"No, not sure if it's a coma, if they're keeping her under on purpose, or if it's all the pain killers and medications they have her on."

We asked about Quil, all of us able to imagine the pain he was feeling. We told Jake about the schedule we had come up with, running round the clock patrols until things settled back down. The only word we had from Sam was from when we were all at the hospital yesterday, but we knew we wouldn't hear from him until Emily was released.

I could tell he was just inside the woods at the Cullens, "I left your truck after I dropped Dawn off, unless you're too tired to drive."

"I'll come back for it tomorrow, if I run home at least I know I won't fall asleep behind the wheel."

"So you and Dawn, sleeping together huh? I leave you two alone for one day and this is what I come back to?" the tone was teasing.

I could only shake my furry head, "Not so loud, what if Edward hears you?"

"You really think he hasn't already heard from her? Good luck picking her up tomorrow if one of her brothers answers the door."

I had been trying really hard not to think about that, but now it was all I could think about. I could tell Jake was back in La Push; his thoughts had gone silent as soon as he phased.

"I don't envy you or him, having to deal with a family of over protective vamps cannot be fun. At least Kim was an only child and her parents have learned to love me."

"It's worth it," I grinned inwardly, knowing it was true, "she's never had a family. Now she has one that would do anything to protect her, will love her forever, and can help her. It's good that they can understand what she's going through."

I continued my patrol, thinking about Dawn, remembering what it felt like to sleep next to her. I was trying to not let my mind wander to far, not wanting to share that with Jared. I could see the sun rising, glad that my shift would be ending soon. My eyes pricked up, I could swear I knew that sound, I turned running towards the Cullen's. I got there just as Dawn's tail-lights turned out of the driveway.

"Where is she going? What is she doing?"

"I'll circle back to La Push; see if she's going there."


	44. Chapter 44

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

"Long time no see stranger." I groaned at Emmett's greeting.

"It's been a long night, what's going on here?" I walked into the living room, just wanting to sit down. "Where is everyone?"

He grinned, "Bella and Edward are at their place, Alice and Jasper went out, they should be home tomorrow, Carlisle and Esme are having some private 'mommy and daddy time', and Rosalie is around here somewhere." I could only laugh at his calling what Carlisle and Esme were doing together as 'mommy and daddy time.'

"Good, then come sit with me, I need to talk."

I saw him give me a questioning look, but he sat next to me, turning his body to face me. "What's wrong, what's going on?" I chewed nervously on my thumb nail, wondering if Emmett was the best person to talk to about this, but decided being a guy he might have a different way of looking at things, and I'd rather talk to him than Carlisle about this.

I took a breath, not sure how I wanted to start. I scrunched up my face, thinking. "How did you know Rosalie was the right one for you?"

I saw him relax, his head leaning back, his eyes going unfocused as he remembered. "She brought me home, she saved me. It was rough in the beginning, I was a newborn, a little out of control" he laughed, "Maybe a lot out of control for a while, but she stuck with me. There were some bumps, getting her to trust me." He turned his head, "You know what happened, what she went through, what lead to Carlisle finding her and turning her." I nodded, even though I hadn't really ever heard the full story, just that she was engaged and her fiancée had attacked her, he and his drunken friends. That after she turned Rosalie hunted them all down, killing them one at a time. "It was an uphill struggle, getting her to trust me, to be open to being with someone."

"Obviously she was worth it, but did you ever wish that she hadn't been damaged, that you ever felt like giving up?"

"Is this about me and Rose or about you and Embry?" I could see the concern in his eyes.

I adverted my gaze, "you." I chewed my lip more, "both?"

"Every day I am happy that Rosalie found me, brought me into her life, that I will spend the rest of eternity with my soul mate. Whatever either one of us went through to be brought together was worth it, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her, or her for me."

"What if you had loved her, but she didn't' love you back?" I couldn't believe I had asked that, but once the words were out I knew that was what I was really asking.

"I knew she did, she saved me. If she hadn't wanted me she would have left me in the woods to die. I am who I am because of her. She was my angel."

I felt dread seeping over me, did Embry think that, that because he had been the one that saved me that I somehow owed him. I remembered what Kim had said, that I belonged to Embry. I could remember everyone talking about how we belonged together, even Embry had said that I belonged with him when he took me to his house. "What if after she saved you, if you hadn't fallen for her?" I had never thought about how similar Emmett and I'd relationship were. I didn't doubt that he and Rosalie were meant to be together, that they loved each other, but I knew I didn't feel that for Embry. Whereas Emmett had immediately thought of Rosalie as his angel, I had thought Embry as evil. I liked him now, sure, he was nice, he made me laugh, I liked spending time with him, but not in the 'my entire life was wrapped up with his' way that I saw with the other couples I knew. How could I tie myself to someone when I still didn't know who I was, how long I would live, I would most definatily outlive him, and thinking further ahead, I couldn't have a family.

"I don't know, I've honestly never thought about it because I did. I fell in love not because of any sense of obligation to her, but because once I got to know her I couldn't not love her."

I shook my head, knowing I could never allow that to happen with me and Embry. I reached up, hugging him. "Thanks, I think I'm going to go up to bed now. If Ness gets home before I wake up can you let me know what's going on, if there's any updates?" I knew I was changing the subject, but I had to, I needed to think about something else.

"Yeah, but are you alright. I know you were asking about me and Rosalie, but I know you were thinking about you and Embry." He stood when I did, "you and him aren't me and Rosalie. He knows that, and he's never going to push you for more than you want." He looked like he wanted to say more, but I started walking up the stairs, walking away.

I shut my door, shutting everyone out. All I wanted to do was think, clear my head. I couldn't control my emotions; I finally stopped fighting them, just letting myself experience them. I wondered if I had come back home too soon, in the two, three days that I had been back I had only slept a few hours here and there, I had been to the hospital which I understood now why Carlisle had advised me not to go, I had been alone in a house full of wolves, and I was realizing that Embry wanted something from me that I couldn't give him. I could never offer him more than friendship. I sat in the dark, I heard Esme gently knock, asking if she could come in. I was still sitting against the door; I could barely answer, too caught up in my thoughts. I finally choked out a no, telling her I just needed some time to think. I looked around, realizing I hadn't turned on a light, but to numb to care. Sitting where I was I could hear Carlisle and Esme talking to Emmett, their voices, especially Emmett's carrying just enough. When Emmett threatened to go find Embry, to "see what the hell happened, she was doing alright until she saw him" I knew I should go down there.

"It's not his fault, not the way you think." I sat on the bottom step, still trying to figure out everything that was going on around me. "I want to hate him, hate him for what he is, but I can't. I don't trust myself, my feelings for him." I knew I wasn't making a lot of sense, but once the words started coming I couldn't stop them. "I don't if what I feel for him is real, if it's gratitude, if because he saved me he now feels responsible for me. Just tonight, at least two different people said that I belonged to him. I just can't." I could feel hot tears sliding down my face, I angrily wiped them away. "I can't do this, have a normal relationship with someone that wants to control me, wants to consume me. No matter what my feelings are for him, I can't let myself give up that control." I looked around me, at the four pale faces looking back at me. "I know I'll never have a soul mate, not the way you do, I'm so broken, so damaged." I didn't know what else to say. I hung my head, Esme glided over, picking me up in her arms.

"Shhh, it's ok." Her arms tighten around me. "Just relax, take a deep breath." She sat on the couch, still cradling me on her lap.

I could see Emmett, Rosalie, and Carlisle standing together, talking, Emmett's body was taunt, angry looking. Rosalie didn't look as angry, but she stood next to him. Carlisle was looking at both of them, his face calm, talking, trying to calm Emmett. I wanted to hear, I knew it was probably about me. "Please, I can't take another fight."

"What do you mean 'another?'?" Emmett was looking at me.

"Embry and one of the guys." I closed my eyes, not wanting to think about how Embry had looked, how it was my fault that he had been fighting. "Paul I think, he didn't want me there, said that I didn't belong." I saw the anger flash on Emmett's face, "He's right, I shouldn't have went. I thought I would be ok, but after what happened with Sam, I should have just come home."

"What happened with Sam?" Carlisle spoke this time.

My voice was a whisper, "I touched him, I forgot I wasn't supposed to, Embry had to pull me loose, had to break our grip, the pain was too much for me to let go."

"But Sam wasn't in the accident, what happened to him?"

"Not that kind of pain, I took his emotional pain, his non-physical pain, even if it did feel like regular pain to me."

"How?" I could tell Carlisle was really looking at me now, "describe everything that happened."

I slid off Esme's lap, I thought back, it had just happened yesterday morning, less than 24 hours ago, but it felt much longer than that. "I dropped off Ness, drove around back to park. Embry met me outside, to make sure that I didn't get lost and to ask if I was ok being there. We walked in, the smells hit me. I took his hand, telling him that if it got to be too much I would just squeeze it and he would know I needed to leave. We turned down a hall and Sam was standing there, waiting to go to Emily's room. He introduced himself, he reached out to shake my hand, and I shook it." I looked at Carlisle, "when I shook it, it was like nothing else, not the way pain usually felt, not like real pain, more like when we were camping. Do you remember, Edward made Em smell meat and I could tell? It was kind of like that, but way more intense." I wasn't sure if I was describing it accurately. "Anyway when I started squeezing Embry's hand he pulled Sam and me apart, pushing us all into the elevator. Sam told Embry that I shouldn't be there, but I stayed."

I looked around, but spoke to Carlisle, "That's only ever happened with you guys, with people that I care about. Maybe because I was at the hospital it was different?"

I could see him thinking, trying to sort it out. "Did Embry say if he felt anything, were you holding his hand the entire time?"

I nodded, "I think so, I'm pretty sure. Why?"

I could see that he was lost in thought, I looked at the other three, "does this mean dad's going to lock himself in his study?" I grinned. I saw them smile.

Carlisle started walking up the stairs, and then seemed to remember we were still there. "I'll be in my study for a while; I need to think about something, read. Dawn, you're going to be here for a while, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah, at least until morning."

I felt Emmett nudge me in the back, in a mock whisper, "It is morning, someone stayed out all night." I could only roll my eyes at him, walking towards to kitchen as I did so.

I opened the fridge, grabbing a soda before sitting at the dining room table. Esme slid me a coaster with a grin. "I know a lot's been happening in a really fast amount of time, no one faults you for needed time to think about it, to sort things out."

I reached across the table, covering her hands in mine. The icy feel of them somehow comforting, "I just get so, I don't know. It's just a difficult adjustment, going from one extreme to the other." I picked up my soda, halfway thru taking a sip I saw headlight coming down the drive. I jumped up, "Ness is home!"

"Is that mongrel driving your Jeep?"

I chewed my bottom lip, "He asked to borrow it, his car is pretty old. Plus he had Ness with him, you wouldn't want them to get stuck somewhere together would you?" I knew Rosalie wasn't especially fond of Jake, or of his relationship with Ness.

The phone rang; I jumped up, but knew I wouldn't reach it first. "Uh huh, ok, thanks Bella, I'll tell her. Let him know if there's anything, anything at all. Love you; give her a hug from all of us." Esme turned to me after putting the phone back on its cradle. "Ness fell asleep, but Jake said the little girl, Claire, was out of surgery, she's in the ICU. Right now they're just waiting and watching."

I slumped back down in the chair, relieved to hear that Quil's sister was alright, "that's great, I'm sure Quil is glad his sister is alright, their parents too."

Rosalie laughed. "She's not his sister, who told you that? She's his imprint." She stopped talking mid sentence, Emmett and Esme both giving her a hard unbelieving look. "Well it was going to come out eventually, she should know, maybe if she knew she wouldn't be here right now going off the emotional deep end, trying to figure everything out without all the facts.

I looked at Rosalie, at and Esme and Emmett's faces. "More? Again? I believed you, that there were no more lies." I wasn't even angry; I was just disappointed, my emotional reserves tapped out. I was numb.

Esme was the first to speak, "No, we didn't lie, we just didn't tell you everything about Embry." I could tell she was struggling, trying to find the right words for what she wanted to say. "I don't really know how to explain it, it's a were-" She stopped, correcting herself, "it's a shapeshifter relationship bond."

I looked at Rosalie, "just tell me, no riddles."

I could see Emmett trying to talk her out of it with his eyes, but she ignored him. "The reason you want to be with him, be near him even when you think you hate him, what he is, is because of an Imprinting." I wanted to ask what that was; I knew I had heard that word before. I didn't need to ask, Rosalie continued talking. "Jacob did the same thing Renesemee, imprinting on her when she was born." I could hear the anger, the venom dripping off her words. "It's a curse, a way for the mongrels to ruin lives!"

"Rosalie, that's enough! You know that's not true, not really, not like that!" It was rare for Esme to get angry, rarer still for her to raise her voice.

I just sat there stunned. The weight of what she just said and the understanding of it hitting me. I remembered everything I had overheard, all the remarks I hadn't understood previously making sense now. "I'll never be free. First the vampires, then the werewolves, and now Embry." My words were quiet, spoken like the condemned.

"No, it's different. Embry wants to protect you, keep you safe. He cares about you."

I shrugged. "It IS the same. I traded a dungeon for something shinier and prettier is all." In my mind it was the same. Embry and my previous captors were the same, neither one of them letting me be free. I had traded a physical prison for an emotional one was all.

"I need you to trust me." I looked at the three of them. I glanced up at the ceiling. "Let me talk to Carlisle first." I ran up the stairs and knocked on his study door. "May I come in?"

He looked up from the books on his desk, papers scattered everywhere. "Always, you know you don't need to knock. What's on your mind?" He smiled. "What do we need to trust you about?"

I knew he had heard everything that had been said downstairs. "I love you guys, everyone, but I need answers. Answers you don't have. I need to find them." He knew what I was asking. I was asking to leave. He also knew that if I left I wouldn't be coming back until I had answers.

"I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, that Esme was right. We were hoping that you were able to have healed in while you were in Glacier."

I interrupted him. "I did. This isn't about my demons. This is about something else, starting with Embry. I will never know who I am, what I am if I'm never allowed to be on my own. I need to be able to stand on my own two feet without someone standing behind me ready to catch me if I fall."

Carlisle shook his head. "Embry isn't trying to bind you. He isn't trying to control you. He's nothing like what your captors were, he's not like that. He's a good man."

"I hope so, but I'll never know. I'll never be sure with this imprint."

Carlisle came around the desk. "I trust you; I know you'll come home." His eyes met mine. "Don't be gone too long and remember to call you mom, you know how she worries."

I returned his hug before going to my room. I grabbed my backpack, stuffing my camera, the journal I had received from Ness and a change of clothes into it. I almost made it out of the room before I saw the stack of photos I had taken recently. I tossed those in as well.

Carlisle met me at my bedroom door handing me two books as my cell phone rang. I knew before I answered it who it would be.

"Hi Alice."

Her words came out as a rush. "What are you doing? Where are you going? I saw you packing, but I can't see where you're going."

"I don't know. I'll know when I get there I suppose. Please just understand. I'll come back. I promise I'll come home."

"There's nothing I can say?"

I shook my head even though she couldn't see it. "No, there's not. I love you, and Jasper. I'll see you soon." I hung up quickly, afraid that if I stayed on the phone any longer she would talk me out if leaving.

I walked through the kitchen, the four of them standing silently. Esme's eyes were downcast, I'm sure if she had been able there would have been tears. Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke. "Be careful."

I hugged everyone. When I got to Rosalie she whispered that she was sorry. I pulled back and shook my head, correcting her. She had been the only one who told me the truth. Emmett wrapped his big arms around me almost cutting off my air. "We checked the Jeep, you should be fine. Call us. Don't so anything rash, anything stupid." He grinned at me. "Anything I would do."

"I love you too."

I threw my bag on the floor of the Jeep, smiling when I saw a bag on the passenger seat. I peeked inside as I started driving; a map, drinks, snacks, and a letter. I ran my fingers over the writing, recognizing it as Esme's. I put the letter in the glove box, unable to bring myself to read it now. I felt horrible, I knew that I was hurting them, but I knew I had to go. I wouldn't be able to be me until I was living without secrets.

I drove around aimlessly trying to decide what answers I was really looking for. I had so many questions; I thought about going to Embry's, I really did. I didn't know if I could trust his answers, if he would tell me the truth, the real truth or just some version of the truth that he thought would be easier. I drove through town, stopping at the coffee shop. I walked outside, seeing the sign for the hospital. I made a quick decision, before I could change my mind.

I took a deep breath, steadying my nerves. I knew I was looking for Emily, hoping that Sam wasn't there with her. I wanted to stop at the information table, to see where she was, but I didn't know her last name. I tried to remember how I had gotten to here room, luckily the hospital only had three floors. I ended up walking up and down every hall until I found hers. I stopped outside the door; I could hear Sam on the phone, telling someone that Emily was going home. I knew if I didn't talk to her then I might not get another chance. I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants, knocking on the door.

"Come in." It was Sam who answered. I could feel the fear, like a ball in my stomach as I walked through the door. I saw the shock; the recognition on his face, Emily's unchanged, expectant, not knowing who I was.

I could feel my legs shaking, my body trembling. "I'm sorry to interrupt, to have come here, I need to," I stopped unsure of what to say, how to tell them I needed to know what imprinting was, why it had happened to me, and if there was anyway to get rid of it. "I need your help, to ask you something."

I saw Sam position himself between her and me, questions on Emily's face. "Sam, please, can I talk to Emily, to you too?"

"Sam, who is she?" I saw her looking at him, looking at me.

"This is Dawn." He looked at me, "what are you doing here? What do you want?"

"Are you two imprinted?" I didn't mean for it to come out so accusatory, so distant, but I was tired of not knowing, of feeling like people were hiding things from me.

I saw Sam take a step towards me, "I don't know if you should be here, having this conversation, I think you need to leave, to talk to Embry."

"No!" I surprised myself. I wasn't backing down. "I need to know, you need to tell me. I don't want this, I need to know what it is, how to get rid of it."

I saw the stricken look on both their faces, "why?"

"Tell me what it is, what it means."

They didn't speak, Sam glared at me, Emily had kindness in her eyes, but I knew she wouldn't talk unless she had Sam's permission. I took a step towards her, then another, dodging around Sam. I stopped at the foot of her bed, "I won't come any closer, no need to protect her from me, I just need answers." I looked at Sam; I could almost feel his anger, his distrust. I looked at Emily; she was beautiful, even with the scars on her face, on her arm. Without thinking I pulled my shirt off, standing in front of her with just a bra. My scars bared, it was first the first time glad that the bites would sparkle in the sunlight filtering in through the window. I saw both of them avert their eyes. "Look, I want you to see these, the bites, the scratches, the claw marks, everything." I couldn't help it, my voice rising. I took a breath, trying to bring myself under control again. I looked at Emily, "ask him, ask your husband, ask him about my abilities, how I can take pain, I even took his. All this," I gestured at my battered body, "this was nothing compared to what I'm going through now, of not knowing, of having a member of your pack," I glared at Sam, "imprint on me and not tell me." I pulled my shirt on. "All I wanted was answers, and you, either one of you could give them to me, but won't." I was beyond pissed. Neither one of them spoke; Emily didn't even look at me. I spun on my heel, storming out of her room.

I didn't know what to do next; I had hoped one of them would give me answers. I knew I wasn't in a good frame of mind. I knew that I was spoiling for a fight. I jumped back in the Jeep, I wasn't sure I could trust his answers, but I headed to Embry's, either he was going to answer me or Jake was. I pulled up to the house, walking in without knocking. He wasn't home. I walked down the hall to Jake's room, but hesitated at the door, knowing that he had been up all night at the hospital and with Ness. I decided I couldn't wake him, but I had an idea of where to go, where someone else with answers might be.

I slammed on the brakes in front of the 'pack house', I wasn't sure if anyone was there yet, but if I waited long enough I knew people would start showing up, especially since Emily was coming home. As I got out I saw a familiar face approaching. At a distance I had momentarily thought it was Embry, the same short inky hair, the same beautiful tanned skin, shorts and a t-shirt even though fall was here. I knew it wasn't, he wasn't quite as tall, his shoulders broader. I remember him as the guy Embry had been fighting with, Paul or something similar. I was almost glad it was him, knowing that he didn't like me, hadn't wanted me there. I waited for him, knowing that he was coming here.

"Paul, do you have a minute?" I hoped I remembered his name right. I saw the look of disgust on his face when I spoke.

"What." His answer was sharp.

My voice was just as sharp, "I need to ask you something, then I'm leaving. I'm not leaving until I get an answer."

"Are you sure you wouldn't want to ask your precious Embry, gallant protector of the forest freak?" I winced at his words, but didn't respond to him in kind.

"No, I want to ask you, I know you'll tell me the truth." I saw his nostrils flare, anger creeping over his face. "I need to know about Imprinting, what it is and how to get rid of it."

He laughed at me, a hard hollow laugh. "You can't get rid of it, it's forever. It's what is supposed to happen between us, us wolves, and our mates. Not between us and vampire freaks." There was venom in his voice, "What did Embry tell you it was? Some wonderful fairy tale of true love?"

"No, he didn't tell me anything, Rosalie did. All Embry has done is lie and hide." I opened the door of my Jeep, "I know I don't have a right to ask, but when she gets here can you tell Emily I'm sorry for earlier, for scaring her."

I saw him start to shake, his voice a growl, "What did you do to her?"

I was tired of being bullied, of trying to be nice and have no one willing to help me, to take two minutes to answer a question. I slammed the door, spinning around to face him, my voice rising, "I went to see her, to see if she could talk to me, but she couldn't" I could hear the anger in my words, "her master, your precious leader Sam was there, he wouldn't let her talk." I was standing in front of him, close enough that I could see him shaking, his body almost vibrating.

He yelled back at me, "You just can't leave well enough alone can you, just leave, just go."

"Why, you going to tell Sam I didn't listen, is my being here going to get Embry in trouble with a big bad wolf?" The sarcasm dripped from my words, "there is nothing that can happen that could ever be worse than what I've been through, what true werewolves, not wannabe's, have done to me."

Paul started to step back, his body shaking, almost like he was experiencing a seizure. "Dawn, you need to leave, leave now, I'm warning you."

I turned, walking back towards the road. As I opened the door I looked, Paul was gone. I smirked, what a typical bully, stand up to them and they back down, run away.


	45. Chapter 45

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

Was she suicidal? What could possibly have been going through her head to pick a fight with Paul? Didn't she have any idea how dangerous that was, what could have happened? I put my head in my hands, I had come to Sam and Emily's to welcome Emily home, only to be confronted by what Dawn had been doing all morning.

"I know you wanted to wait, to make sure she was ready, but she doesn't know what imprinting is, what it means, just what Rosalie told her, and let me tell you, I'm sure it wasn't accurate. She scared Emily, hell she frightened me a little." I knew Sam was disappointed with me; most of the pack was some level of pissed off, either at me, or at Dawn.

"I was this close to phasing, this close." Paul was in my face, "all she wanted was to know how to get rid of it, if I had known I would have told her."

"I'm sorry, I should have told her, should have explained it, but between the accident, the lack of sleep, her touching Sam, everything that was going on, I didn't' think she was ready. I know I need to fix this, explain it to her, I will, as soon as I find her."

"Embry, I don't think she wants to be found. She came back, she gave you a second chance, and I know you didn't mean to, but I think she took your emission the same as a lie." Emily was thoughtful, "she said something at the hospital, that the pain of not knowing was worse than any other." I saw Emily blanche at the memory, looking around at all of us, everyone there to discuss Dawn. "Em, she took off her shirt, all those scars, she said this was worse." I saw her grip Sam's hand, "how could that be true, no one has had a negative reaction to imprinting." I saw her pause, I'm sure everyone was thinking of Leah. "None of the imprintees or the imprinters."

I didn't know what to say, how to react. I sat there, just listening, wishing I could go back, that I could change things. I heard Paul, his angry voice carrying over everyone else's, "she's unstable, reckless, she's angry. I don't want to see Embry hurt, but maybe it would be best if she didn't' come back, maybe he would eventually imprint on someone new."

"Maybe once she gets some answers, knows what's going on she'll come back and things can go back to the way they were." I smiled, glad that Seth was on my side.

"Do you or your family know where she went?" I looked up, hearing someone coming in.

I saw Jake; I exhaled, not realizing that I had been holding my breath, hoping that Nessie was with him. My cheek was suddenly warmer, I pulled back, Nessie had just slapped me. "What did you do to her? We finally got her back, she was happy, she was safe, what did you do to her to make her run again?" Nessie was crying, yelling at me.

I didn't try to defend myself, to try to explain. I looked to Jake, he just shrugged, pulling Nessie close to him, comforting her. I couldn't be there, I walked out. Sam followed me into the yard, "Embry, I know how you feel, what you're going through. You can't let this destroy you. She came back before, she'll come back again. You have to believe that."

"Maybe, I hope. I don't know. What if Paul and Emily are right and she doesn't come back. I was doing what I thought was best for her, trying to protect her." I was monotone, I felt empty.

"You know that's crap, don't listen to them, listen to me. You didn't see her today, you can't be that mad, that angry, Em, she went head to head with me and Paul, all over you. I know you were trying to be strong for her, but have you ever thought that she's strong on her own. She's not like Emily, not like Kim, or Rachel, or even Nessie." He looked over his shoulder, "She reminds me of Leah, she posses a strength that might be greater than anyone else's."

"I hope you're right." I turned, not knowing, not caring where I was going. I ended up just going home, just wanting to be alone. I plopped on the couch, I reached down to pick up the blanket that had fallen, my breath catching when I realized the last time I had been on that couch Dawn had used the blanket to cover me up, not fully understanding that I was always a toasty 108. A piece of paper fell out of the blanket, I picked it up, my eyes getting blurry when I saw what it was;

Embry,

I hope you have the sweetest dreams, I know I will now that I've seen you. I'll see you soon; I can't wait to start the next chapter together. Until I see you again you'll be in my thoughts.

Yours,

Dawn

She must have written it that night, before she left, before my world fell apart. I clutched it to my chest as I slid to the floor, the tears came.


	46. Chapter 46

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

I knew I was out of control, reckless. I drove north out of La Push, heading to Neah Bay, hoping I could find answers there. I had checked around La Push, finding out that an elderly Makah woman lived up there; she had been the wife of a Quileute councilman before he died. I hoped she might have some insight, some understanding of what was going on and be able to help me. I got into town in the early afternoon. I found a small rundown hotel; I didn't know how long to tell them I was staying for. I dropped my bag on the floor, and then crawled into bed.

I woke when it was dark, thankful that I had fallen asleep with the light on. I checked my watch, too late for any visits today. I walked out to the lobby, hoping that someone was still there, that they could tell me where I could find something to eat. Neah Bay was too small to still have anything other than a gas station open at that time of night. I settled on a sandwich I hoped was still fresh. I pulled my cell phone out as I ate, knowing that I should call home, but not sure what I would say to them. I compromised, sending a text to Esme, telling her that I had gotten a room for the night, that as soon as I had found out anything I would call. There was one call I couldn't weasel out of.

"Hey Ness, I'm sorry I left again, and that I didn't talk to you first. I was afraid you'd talk me out of it."

"Where are you? When are you coming home? You know you ruffled a few feathers today."

"I know, I told Paul to tell Emily I was sorry, but I'm not going to apologize to Sam or Paul, especially not Paul."

"Embry is a mess, I slapped him."

"Good, he deserves worse."

"No, I don't think you understand, we found him on the floor, clutching a note, staring into space. Jake could barely get him on his feet."

"Ness, really I don't care. Embry is a liar, and as soon as I can figure out how to get out of this imprint crap I going to. Maybe if he hadn't lied to me, hadn't tried to control this, control me I would care, but I don't. Please don't try to defend the guy; I don't want to hear it. That's not why I called."

"Ok, then what's up?"

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Why? I think I'm going back to the hospital with Jake to see Quil and Claire."

"Good, I hope she's getting better. Are you able to keep something from Jake? If not tell me, tell me now so I don't say anything to you, I know if Jake knows he'll tell Embry."

"I don't know we don't keep secrets from each other. If you tell me it's private I won't say anything."

"No, never mind, just do me a favor, can you make sure to keep your cell phone with you?"

"Yeah, sure, but what's going on? What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing, I gotta run, but I think I'm going to need to talk to you soon, have you explain a few things to me. I love you, tell everyone at home that I love them too and I'll be home as soon as I can."

I hung up, not wanting to have to explain what I was doing or where I was. I also didn't want to say too much to Ness, I didn't want to put her in a position where she would have to keep something from Jake or that she would have to lie to him. I knew the damage that caused, that once the trust was broken it sometimes wasn't repairable.

I grabbed my backpack, fishing the books and my journal out. The books were from Carlisle's massive library, one was a collection of Quileute stories and legends, and the other was a history of the Quileute people. I wasn't sure what I was hoping to find, what might be in them. I flipped through the book of legends first, knowing that most legends started from some real event, some reality. I wasn't interested in the stories of how the Quileute's believed they were decedents of wolves, or how they survived the great flood by tying boats to treetops. I was looking for something, anything about mating habits, or marriage rituals. The closest I could find was a line about how bracelets were used as engagement rings, that the males would make bracelets for their intended and these bracelets would have some sort of representation of their givers spirit animal. I had assumed there was something about bracelets, I could see how similar Nessie and Kim's had been. I had noticed that Emily wore one too. I kept reading, turning to the book on their history, seeing for the first time that Jacob's grandfather had once been a well respected chief.

I kept reading, the history fascinating, but not learning anything that I thought would help my situation. I made notes in my journal, looking at the pictures from when I was in Alaska, smiling at the memories. I must have fallen back asleep; I could see light shining through the window. A quick shower and a change of clothes and I was ready. I stopped by the front desk, getting directions to the only restaurant in town, and to the address I had found for the old woman. I ate first, still trying to decide what I wanted to say to her, to ask her. I didn't want to just blurt something out, I didn't want to frighten her, or make her think I was crazy.

I parked in front, gathered my thoughts for a minute, and then walked up, knocking on her door. I introduced myself, only telling her my first name, my last name tended to not go over well with the older crowd. "Good morning ma'am, my name is Dawn, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute, about the history of the Quileute."

"What's this about?" She looked at me closely, "Are you some sort of reporter or something?" She looked frail, but her voice was strong.

"No ma'am, I'm, well it's kind of difficult to explain. I'm involved with, not with, but I know one of the guys," I tried again, noticing her bracelet; I reached out, touching the wolf that hung from it. "It's about this, I think I was about to receive one, but I'm not sure I want it, if I can accept it."

She eyed me critically as she touched the wolf charm that hung from her wrist. "There's only a few that can share these, showing that the one the love is protected. If someone were to give you one it would mean there was a great bond between you, not something to be taken lightly or easily ignored." She eyed me again, "you're not Quileute, for someone to have chosen you, an outsider, you must be strong, someone worthy of that love and devotion."

"Would you be willing to talk to me, answer some questions I have? I've been trying to sort to our on my own, but I haven't been able to come up with any answers."

"Why on your own? Didn't you say you were involved with someone, he should have explained, answered your questions." I saw her eyes turn suspicious. "I don't know if I can help you."

I knew she could, that she knew the answers I needed. "Please, please, I don't have anywhere else to go, anyone else to ask. I've already been the cause of a fight, insulted the wife of the leader, stood toe to toe with two members, and I still don't know what's going on with me."

Her face softened, "Come in, I will answer what I can, but I have some questions of my own."

I breathed a sigh of relief, following her into her tiny well kept house. She motioned for me to sit on the couch, asking if I would like anything to drink. I politely declined, just wanting to talk. "Can this bond be broken?"

I saw the shock on her face, she shook her head, "I've never known it to be, never known anyone who wanted that, that would have even asked that." She pursed her lips together, "Are we talking about the same thing? I've never known this thing to not be mutual."

I was tired of talking in code, trying to use code words and euphemisms' for what I really wanted to say. "I was imprinted on, I don't want to be, I don't want to be tied like that to Embry." As soon as I said it, I saw the understanding on her face, the confirmation that we shared the same secret.

"Why not child, you will be loved, protected, cherished, for all your days. That only happens between select members of the tribe and those who are best able to carry on and enrich the line." I knew what she was talking about, that the imprint was to ensure that future wolves came from a pedigree background.

"I don't need to be protected, to be loved and cherished. All my days?" I laughed; at the rate I was aging I would be around to know my great-great-great-grandchildren. "You were right earlier; I'm not Quileute, not even close. I'm something else entirely, someone who should not be involved with them."

She suddenly grabbed my hand, holding it in hers, looking at my skin. "You don't feel cold; I can feel the blood that flows through your veins." My shirt sleeve had pulled up when she had taken my hand, exposing one of my glittery scars. I saw horror on her face, "That's not possible, your heart beats, your skin is soft, your eyes green, not black, not red, not yellow." She recoiled from me, "what are you?"

I leaned back from her, creating even more distance, "Can you understand now, why I need this broken, why this can never be?"

She stood; I wasn't sure if I should stay, if she just needed a minute to get her thoughts in order, or if I had scared her beyond words. I waited, wanting her to make some sort of sound, something that would tell me she was ok. I finally took a paper and pen from my pack, writing the name of my hotel and my telephone number on it. "I'm going to leave this here, if you change your mind, please call me. I don't have anyone else to go to." I tried to hand it to her, but she refused, walking to the door instead. I laid it on her table and left.

I waited, hoping she would call. I knew she had answers; something about her was almost familiar. Age had taken its toll, but there was something almost familiar about her dark eyes, the fire behind them.

I debated what to do next, wanting to stay close in case she changed her mind, but still needed to find answers. I drove through the small town, stopping when I saw the Makah museum. I didn't find any answers, but I did find out more about the connection between the Quileute's and the Makah's. They were friendly now, but they hadn't started that way. I stopped to eat, not that I was hungry; I just didn't have much else to do. I stopped at the hotel, telling them I was checking out.

I jumped back in the Jeep, going back to La Push. Being at the Makah museum had given me an idea, there had been a picture of the Quileute tribal council members, and I recognized one of the names, Billy Black. I hoped it was the same Billy that Jake had said had a spare set of his truck keys. I thought Jake's last name was Black, I could only guess that it was his dad. I pulled up to the counsel building, the doors were locked. I balled my fist, trying to think of what to do next. I was looking for a phone book, anything on the community message board in front of the building that would point me to where I could find him.

I saw a boy walking, wearing the familiar cutoffs and no shirt, even in the fall. I was wearing a coat and still felt chilled. I wondered how they did it, how they could wear so little. I knew I was taking a risk, biting my bottom lip I walked towards him. "Excuse me, I'm lost, I'm looking for Billy Blacks house, I" I tried to think of why I would need to talk to him, something other than the imprint, "I need to talk to him regarding some Tribal Counsel matters. I must have mixed up where we were supposed to met, could you give me directions?"

I saw him furrow his brow, giving me a close look, but shaking off whatever he had initially thought. "Sure, Billy lives just over there." He pointed down the road, further into La Push than I was. "Here, I'll write to down for you." He walked over to the Jeep, taking the pen and paper from my hand.

"Thanks, really, I appreciate it a lot." I checked the directions, and left.

I pulled up, checking to make sure I didn't see Jacob's car anywhere. I hoped no one would recognize my Jeep, that I would be able to talk to Mr. Black uninterrupted. I knocked on the door.

"I thought you might eventually end up on my doorstep." He rolled back, making room for me to enter. "You just missed Paul, good timing on your part." His voice wasn't unfriendly, but it wasn't friendly either.

'So you know who I am?" I knew that he did.

"I do, and I know what you're going to ask. I also know that Collin was probably calling Sam, Jake, and Embry as soon as he hung up with me."

I wanted to scream, I should have known the boy in the cutoffs was one of them that he would have known who I was. "How long until they get here?" I felt like a woman condemned.

"Not long, they can explain."

I could hear a howl in the distance. "It's too late; I don't believe anything they say anymore." I turned, pushing the door open with a slam and running back to the road. I could see someone with dark hair coming out of the woods beside his house; I shifted into gear, driving away as another appeared. It wasn't until I was on the main road, driving on the highway that I felt myself calming down. I fished my cell phone out of my backpack, calling home.

"Is Ness there or is she out with Jake?" I could hear the surprise in her voice, but also the relief.

"I think she's with Jake, the left earlier to go back to the hospital."

"Has anything changed?"

"Not yet, how are you doing?"

"I'm about 10 minutes away; could you do me a favor?"

"What do you need hon?"

"Could you move your car out of the garage so I can park there, I don't want some people to know I'm home, at least not yet."

"Sure, I'll see you soon. Love you."

"Love you too Esme."

I pulled into the garage, closing the door behind me. I ran into the house, running to Esme. I could see the surprise on her face, I ran into her arms, not even feeing the marble-like resistance to my hug. I wrapped my arms around her, burying my head in her shoulder as I sobbed, the floodgates of emotions opened. I felt her cold hard hand rubbing my back, her murmuring softs words of love and understanding.

After I calmed down, I pulled back, "Esme, what is wrong is with me, what is going on? I feel so out of control. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind."

She pulled me in for another hug, speaking into my hair, "Come on, Carlisle and Jasper have a theory." I let her lead me into the living room, Alice, Jasper, and Carlisle waiting for me. I looked around, Esme answered before I could ask, "They're not here, they went to Idaho, to do some hiking." I nodded, wondering how much of it was that Emmett and Rosalie needed to hunt and how much of the reason was that Rosalie had told me about the imprint.

I pulled a blanket off the back of the couch, wrapping it around myself. I was freezing. I had wanted to sit next to Alice and Esme as I listened to Jasper and Carlisle, but choose to sit in a chair instead, grabbing the blanket as I passed Alice. I saw Carlisle reach out to the wall, adjusting the thermostat.

Alice eyed my critically, "Are you sick?"

I shook my head no, "Just cold, I thought Alaska was bad, but it was nothing like this." I was flexing my fingers; they were so cold they ached. I looked at Carlisle and Jasper, almost laughing at how serious they looked. "You have a theory, of why I'm going insane?"

"You're not going insane, and we have two theories'. One each." I saw jasper look at Carlisle, deciding who was going to go first I guess. "Just keep in mind these are theories, just guesses on our parts."

"OK, who's going first then?" I saw Esme walking towards me, a cup in her hand, I took it gratefully, hot tea. "Thanks." I wrapped my chilled hands around it, savoring the steam on my face as I took a sip.

Jasper cleared his throat, I think Carlisle should, my theory, well you might not like it when you hear it. He quickly sat down next to Alice, looking at Carlisle.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but I think the Imprint is more binding than you think. That even though you don't feel it, it's there; it binds you to Embry and by extension to his pack." Carlisle was watching me, but I had no reaction, I had wondered the same thing, if that was why I had felt close to Jake, to Kim, and to a lesser degree the other members when I had met them. "You said that when you saw Sam, when you were able to absorb his emotional pain, you were holding Embry's hand. Is that right?" I nodded at him, not knowing what he was saying, not really. "I don't wonder if it would have happened whether Embry was there or not, that because of your link to Embry, Sam, and every other member of the pack is the same to you as we are."

I was horrified, if that was true, then I might not ever be able to rid myself of the Imprint. "Do you think because I was touching Embry it made it stronger?" I couldn't believe I was asking that, what was going on?

Carlisle nodded his blond head at me, "we think so."

"That doesn't explain why I feel so out of control, why I'm losing it." I looked at Jasper, "Is this where your theory comes in?"

He stood his eyes bright, unblinking. "Yes, but keep in mind, it's just a theory, and Carlisle might agree with part of it, but not all of it." He looked at me, catching my eyes with his. "You know a lot about newborns, how out of control they are, how reckless. When you got here Carlisle did blood tests, finding that you had vampire markers, we had assumed that it was because of the exposure that came from being used to heal bites. We think it might be due to something else. Carlisle came across a legend, a story of a girl that was held captive, her vampire captor loved her, wanted to make her his but didn't want to cause her the pain that came with turning her. He instead choose to expose her to his venom, slipping it into her food, her water, just a very small amount, so that she would remain human, but would still be his eternal companion. He was eventually destroyed, after his demise his bride, no longer receiving his venom went mad." He paused, "it's like the venom was a drug to her, that without out it was like a lethal withdraw."

I couldn't help myself I laughed. "So now you think I'm like that girl, that I'm some sort of vampire addict?" I laughed again, but seeing the faces looking back at me I stopped, realizing they all thought the same thing. I jumped up, "I love you, I do, but I don't want to be like you?" I saw the look of hurt on Esme's face; I was immediately remorseful, going to her, holding her hand. "I know you're good, your family is good, but I have seen too much of the bad that comes with what you are, I would never want to be like that." I looked at Carlisle, "So what, not you think I need venom booster shot?"

"No, like Jasper said, it's just a theory, it could also as simple as you were locked up for a century, you were tortured, you finally escaped and now you have freedom, you can make your choices, make your own decisions, I tend to think that right now you're just experiencing everything at once, that in your rush to say that you're ok and assure everyone not to worry about you, you've just pushed yourself too far. That with time things will slow down, you'll understand more, and you'll be better equipped to handle things."

"So my choices are I need a venom booster or time?" I grinned, "Time wins!" I pulled back from Esme, "I'm sorry, I'm just so cold."

I saw concern in Carlisle's eyes, "still?" He looked at the thermostat, "even I can feel the increase in temperature here." He walked over to me, reaching his hand out, "May I?" I nodded and he put his hand on my forehead, I saw the worry. "I can't tell the difference between your temperature and my own. Are you sure you're not feeling ill?" I saw him bring his face in closer, trying to smell me. "How long have you been like this?"

I shrugged, thinking. "Well it started in Alaska, but you know how it is, even in the summer it's never more than 60 degrees there, but in the last day or two it's like I can't get warm, can't get the feeling back in my fingers."

Alice gasped from the couch, "Oh my God, it is the imprint!"

We all stared at her, wondering what she meant. "Nessie, a few years ago, went to Esme Island with me, Rosalie, Bella, and Esme, even on a tropical island in the summer she complained of being cold the entire time. We all just thought that it was being so close to all of us, but as soon as we got back, as soon as she saw Jake she was fine." Alice stood in front of me, "in Alaska you weren't with Embry, and in the last day or two have you seen him?"

I shook my head and snorted, "Was it just Nessie? I bet Jake was fine. Embry's fine too, and why wouldn't they be, they're the ones forcing something on someone."

Alice shook her head, "No, Jake was a little pale when we came back, said he had just gotten over the flu or something. I don't know about Embry, we haven't heard from him."

My cell phone rang; I mentally crossed my fingers as I pulled it from my backpack. "Hello."

"Hello, is this Dawn?" I recognized the voice,

"Yes, have you decided to talk to me?" I could hear the pleading.

"I'm still deciding, but if you would like to come for dinner I'm sure we can find something to talk about."

I looked at my watch, at my family looking at me, I chewed my bottom lip, doing the math in my head, "That sounds great; I'll see you in about hour and a half, two hours."

"See you then dear."

I hung up, looking at everyone, "I'm sorry I have to leave, I'll get a room tonight, but I'll be home tomorrow. This woman" I realized I didn't know her name; just that she had been the wife of David Uley, "this woman, she's a Makah, living in Neah Point, she can answer my questions, and she decided to talk to me. I really think she might be able to help. I need to go see her. I need to talk to her." I hoped they would understand, "Please trust me, I'll be alright."

"Well if you need to be there in two hours, you better leave now." I felt the relief rush through me at Carlisle's words. I hugged everyone, holding on to Esme a little longer than anyone else. "I love you"

I had the heater on full blast the entire trip, even after grabbing a coat and gloves from the camping gear I was still chilled.

"Come in, have a seat." I walked in, sitting in the same spot I had yesterday. She reached her arms out, "Would you like me to take your coat dear?"

I rubbed my hands up and down the lengths of my arms, trying to stay warm. "No thank you, I'm fine. Thank you for inviting me, I'm glad you called."

She sat across from me, her face kind, "I can see that you're hurting, that you're struggling. If I may ask, what have you been told, what do you know? Why hasn't your imprinter told you this?"

I took a deep breath, wondering how I was going to explain, how much I should tell this elderly woman about myself. "I think he was trying to protect me, trying to, in his own misguided way, prevent me from getting hurt. I was in an accident," no need to tell the woman to truth, it would just frighten her, "after the accident he found me, got me medical help. After I got better he came over, one of his pack brothers has imprinted on my adoptive sister. Embry and I, that's his name, Embry, started spending time together." I stopped, thinking of how to explain everything. "He invited me to a pack bonfire, I don't think he was supposed to, I wasn't welcome there. I went away for a few months, to" I thought quickly, "to finish healing from my accident. I just got back about a week ago, I saw him, the next day there was an accident, Emily, the pack leaders wife, and Claire, who I thought was a pack members sister, but is really his imprint, were both hurt. I learned what imprinting was, how controlling it was, and someone let it slip that Embry had imprinted on me, but he lied about it." I chewed my bottom lip, hoping that I hadn't left out anything important with my condensed version.

"I heard about Emily and Claire, such a tragedy that they were both injured, especially Claire, I heard she was taken to Seattle."

I nodded, "Emily came home yesterday. Claire is still in a coma, not a lot to do for her right now, just wait."

Ms. Uley leaned back in her chair, resting her head on the back. "My father-in-law was Levi Uley; he was a member of the last pack, well until recently. He was blessed with the gift, the ability to be a protector of the tribe. When I was married his mother told me to story of how she and Levi had fallen in love, that he had come to our village and she had been drying fish. She saw him first; she noticed a change in the air, a woodsy-ness that she had never been aware of before. She said it was immediate, her pull to him. He turned and saw her. My mother-in-law described it as 'time stopped, nothing mattered, the world stopped, my universe was realigned, and its sun was Levi'." Mrs. Uley paused in her story, looking at me. "You see, for his parents it was instatianias for both of them, his mother only ever had eyes for him. They spent all their time together, her becoming a welcome visitor to the pack. All the members of the pack Imprinted, and when the dangers had passed the men were slowly able to step down, to have and raise families, to pass on the gift of protector."

"You weren't imprinted on?" I looked at her bracelet.

She fingered the charm on it, "No, there was no need for more protectors to be called upon, the threat had left." She caught my gaze, "the bracelets act as an engagement ring of sorts, letting the community know that you are spoken for. The wolf is sacred, only those that are direct descendants of the pack, those that would be called upon to be protectors can claim the wolf as their spirit animal. That was the case with my David." I saw her eyes get wistful, "we didn't imprint, but it was as close as it could be. We were each others worlds." Her voice was suddenly sad, "I think it bothered him, not that he wasn't able to use his gift, he was thankful that the threat was gone, but we never had children, I think sometimes he thought that the gift went to his brother, and now I know he was right."

I looked at her, not sure that I was following. "What do you mean?"

"You really don't know who I am, do you?" I could only stare, "Sam Uley, the current pack alpha is my grand-nephew. Embry too."

I felt like she had just doused me with cold water. "Embry is an only child." That much I knew about him.

"Josh Uley, my nephew, I think he was only passed the gene by default. There were no other males that it could have been passed through. Josh left Sam's mom when Sam was young. Josh came up here, to hide among the Makah's to hide from his responsibilities. Embry's mom was cast under his spell. When it came out, that she was pregnant with a married man's child she fled."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Do they know?"

She shook her head, "I doubt it, most people, the ones who know, don't want to poke their noses into somewhere it's not wanted." She gave me a meaningful look.

"I won't say anything, it's not like I would be welcome there anyway." Imprint or not I was sure the pack; Sam especially would never welcome me back to La Push.

"Come in the kitchen with me, we can talk while we eat." I walked with her, glad for the warmth of her kitchen. I finally took off my gloves, my fingers thawing.

While we ate she shared stories, the legends of the tribe that had a theme of imprinting. Not one of those stories said imprinting was anything but wonderful. "Dawn, there is one more story, one that was told to me by the last generation of wolves." She was hesitant to speak, her voice soft. "There was an accident, there was a woman, she had been imprinted on, and she was accidently killed by a member of the pack. It was a horrible accident, a tragedy. No one meant to hurt her. Her wolf mate didn't know how to react, couldn't face life without her. He killed his pack mate in retaliation. Without his mate, being separated from her he grew weak, pale, it was like when was killed his soul left to be with her." She looked up, "Imprinting is the joining, not just of two people, it the completion of a soul, neither is complete without the other."

I didn't know what to say, how to respond. Her phone rang in the living room. I sat at the table, thinking still as she answered it. "That's horrible, that poor little girl." Mrs. Uley's voice broke, "I understand, her family must be devastated, just waiting." There was a pause, "yes, well let me know if there's anything I can do. I'll see you in a few minutes then."

She came into the kitchen, tears on her cheeks, "That was about Claire, she took a turn for the worse and they're saying it's just a matter of time." I looked down, sorry that this was happening to such a young child.

"Poor Quil, if you're right this is going to destroy him."

"Yes it will. Such a waste of a young life, if only there was some way to heal her, to take away her suffering." She turned to walk back into the living room, I walked behind her.

I grabbed my bag, not wanting to leave yet, but knowing that she was expecting company. "Thank you, for telling me."

"Have you seen him? Embry, he might need you, no matter how angry you are right now, I know you could never mean to harm him."

I thought about what she said, wondering if she was right, that Embry might be feeling the effects of us not being together. I checked my phone, but finding no signal. I left Neah bay, heading to La Push, Embry wasn't forgiven, but I didn't want to be the cause of any pain or suffering either.

Driving was slow, not just because it was pitch black out, but because it was raining. I ran the heat, trying to warm up and dry off, but when I pulled up to Embry's house was shivering. I saw Jake's car parked in its usual spot. I ducked under the roof overhang as I rang the bell, not sure who all I was going to find in the house.

"Get in here, get out of the rain!" I hugged her; it was so good to Ness again. "What are you doing here, finally came to your senses?"

"I just need to see him, make sure he's ok." I stepped out from behind Ness and looked into the house. I didn't see him.

"What do you want?" There was anger in Jake's voice, "You do realize you're torturing him, hurting him because he didn't want to hurt you."

I shook my head, water droplets falling at my feet. "Is he here?" I didn't wait for an answer, I didn't see him in any of the common areas, and I started walking towards his bedroom. I could hear Jake and Ness talk behind me, but I wasn't listening. I opened his door, switching the light on as I did.

I ran to him, falling on my knees next to the bed. He looked sick, pale, his beautiful russet color turned ashen and grey. I picked up his hand, bringing it to my lips. "Oh Embry, I'm so sorry if I did this to you, if I caused this." I bowed my head, holding his hand in mine. I tried to feel what he was feeling, but I could feel nothing. "Embry, please, please talk to me." My words were a whisper, a plea.

"You did this to him, when you left before he got like this, not quite as bad, but bad. He hasn't spoken, hasn't eaten, and hasn't moved from that spot since I put him there after you left." Jake's words were cold, accusing.

"I didn't know. I would have never done this to him." I cried, "I'm sorry."

I heard Jake walk away, Nessie telling him to leave me alone. I sat on the floor next to Embry's bed, holding his hand, talking to him, telling him how sorry I was, kissing his hands, his fingers. I leaned forward, kissing his head, his cheek. Murmuring to him that I wouldn't leave him like that again. I heard a phone ring, and Nessie's footsteps coming down the hall.

"We're going back to the hospital; it doesn't look like Claire's going to make it through the night."

"I'm sorry, I really am. If I can do anything."

"Just stay with Embry." She shook her head, "Embry knew where you were, knew that you were close and ok and look at what it did to him. This is going to kill Quil."

I stayed on the floor with Embry, wanting to jump and down with joy when I saw him blink. "Em, please, please come back to me." I was sitting on the bed next to him, his hand wrapped in mine; I leaned over, whispering in his ear. "Embry, I'm here, please, I need you." I knew as soon as I said those words it was true. My heart warmed, and I understood, my world stopped, Embry was my completion. I felt his hand squeeze mine back, a look of confusion and joy on his face.

"Dawn" his voice was hoarse, his tongue darted out, trying to lick his lips.

"I'll be right back, let me grab some water."

His grip was strong, squeezing my hands. "Stay."

I smiled at him, kissing his cheek, "I'm not going anywhere, not again. I'll be gone for second or two." I ran to the kitchen grabbing a cup and filling it with water. When I came back to his room he was already sitting up. "Are you ok?"

The smile he gave almost melted me. "Much better now." I went to him, handing him the water as I sat next to him, my body flooding with warmth. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. "You mean it, you're back?"

"Uh-huh" I hugged his torso, pressing my lips to his chest. "I'm sorry Em, I just didn't' know, I was scared."

"I know, I should have told you, I'm sorry too." We say there, holding each other, promising to never leave again. Eventually Embry stood, grinning at me, "I'm hungry, let's see what's in the fridge."

I stood in front of the fridge after making Embry sit at the counter. "What's this?' I pointed to a drawing on the fridge.

"That's Claire's" he grimaced, his voice lowering, "She drew that the last time she was here, making Quil and I help her draw princesses."

I looked at the drawing; I turned looking at Embry, at how horrible he had looked. Everything made sense at once.

I spun running to Embry's room for my bag. I grabbed it and started running towards the front door. Embry stood in front of it, a look of horror and pain on his face. "What are you doing, where are you going?"

I threw a shirt at Embry, smiling at him. "We need to leave, to go see Claire, right now." I only hoped there was still time. He ripped the shirt on, still giving me a questioning look.

"What are you doing? What happened?"

"Hurry, I can explain on the way, but we need to leave." I was thankful he was still weakened, and didn't ask any questions as I pushed him out the door. I had to turn down the heat, stripping myself of my coat as I drove. My body warming back up. I reached in the back, pulling out the bag that Esme had put in the Jeep for me the other day, snacks and water still filling it. I gave it to Embry, "here, help yourself, but save me a sno-ball." I smiled, after eating every flavor of snack cake that Emmett could find for me to try I had decided that one was my favorite. The green ones were the best I thought, even if Emmett did try to argue with that I couldn't taste color.

"Did something happen to Claire?" Embry was looking at me with concern, shoving Doritos in his mouth as he talked.

"I'm not sure, I talked to Mrs. Uley today, she got a call that Claire had taken a turn, and Ness and Jake went up an hour or two ago, they don't expect her to make it through the night."

His face fell, "That's horrible, she's such a sweet kid." He held my hand, "this is going to be hard for Quil and her parents."

I could only nod, trying to concentrate on the rain slicked road. I slid my hand out from his, needing two hand on the steering wheel, the wind rocking the Jeep back and forth. Embry continued eating, sharing a bottle of water with me as he did.

"When did you talk to Sam's mom?" He was looking at me.

"I didn't, I talked to his great aunt." I quickly looked at Quil, thinking that is was his great aunt too. "I was there yesterday and today right before I got to your house. She's the one that made me change my mind, convinced me to come see you."

"Why were you talking to her, how did you even find her?"

"I saw a notice about her at the store, a birthday notice, that she was the oldest living Quileute, and she had been married to a council member. I didn't know she was Sam's aunt until today. She told me about Imprinting, what is was, how it worked. She told me what breaking an Imprint would do, but she had never heard of only one of the imprinting couple being imprinted and the other not knowing."

Embry looked at me, "that's what happened with us, right, I imprinted and you didn't?" I could see the love, the devotion in his eyes, the pain too.

I took a breath, gnawing on my bottom lip. I couldn't lie to him, I had to tell him, but I knew if I did, if I let him know I knew how strong the bond was he might know what I was planning, what I was going to Seattle to do. I knew he would never allow me to do it, that if he had to choose he would choose me not taking on his pack mate's pain instead of allowing me to be hurt. "Something like that, but it's different now, when the time is right I'll be able to tell you everything, but right now, please just trust me, I'm not going anywhere, I have future plans, they all include you." I reached over quickly, giving his hand a squeeze.

Traffic was picking up; we were close to the city. "Just follow the signs; it's not far from here." Embry gave directions when I confessed that I was lost. "Why are you parking so far in the back?"

I didn't want to tell him that I was already planning, and hoping that Alice's blind spots were on my side. "I just like being next to the elevators."

"Are you sure you're ok? That you'll be alright?"

I nodded, how could I tell him that I was for now, but I had no plans of being able to walk out of that hospital. That I was depending on him to carry me out. "I'm more concerned about facing the pack, of seeing Sam, Emily, and Paul."

Embry laughed, "You need to be careful around Paul, I couldn't believe that you confronted him like that. Don't worry about the rest of them, they're angry, but they'll get over it."

I clung to Embry, trying to take in as much as I could of being with him. I finally understood, finally knew what it was to be with the one you were meant for, with your soul mate. I wanted to get as much of him as I could, I didn't know when he and I would be like this again, when I could touch him and be touch by him. I wasn't looking forward to what I was about to do, but knowing what Embry and I had our connection, made it easier, made understanding Quil and Claire's connection and wanting to do what I could to ensure they stayed that way easier too.

I could feel everyone's eyes on us when we stepped into the waiting room. I was sure that I had been the topic of conversation for the past few days. I smiled at Ness, the only friendly face I saw. "Any news?" Embry looked at Quil.

He only shook his head, his cheeks tear-stained. "Her parents just went back; they want her moved into a regular room, so everyone can be with her." His shoulders slumped, "she's just so tiny, so little." Quil started sobbing again; Sam, Jake, and a few others I didn't recognize all surrounded him, Jake hugging him, trying to sooth him.

I picked a chair close to the door, watching to see where Claire's parents came out of. When I saw them walking down the hall I turned to Ness, "I'll be right back, I'm going to go to the bathroom." I stood, my hand on the door knob, hesitating. I turned around, not caring that I would have to cut in front of Paul to reach Embry. I grabbed his arm, whispering to him that I would be right back. I leaned in, brushing his lips with mine. I saw the surprise, felt the spark. I hope he felt it too, felt the imprint on both of us. Before I could change my mind I walked out to the hallway.

I saw the nurse at the desk on the phone, I heard her saying they needed her transferred to a room for the family to say good bye. I quickly scanned the area, seeing the other nurses busy with other patients. I ducked into Claire's room. I saw her tiny body wrapped in wires and tubing, her head bandaged and looking two sized too big for her body. I pulled the curtain around us, doing one more look around. I pulled my cell phone out, knowing that I needed someone to find me before the nurses did. I reached out, laying my hands on her and my world turned black.


	47. Chapter 47

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

"Embry, you need to see this." I could see the worry, the fear, on Ness's face. She handed me her cell phone. My heart sank, the blood draining from my body when I saw the words.

"Send Embry to Claire's room; tell Quil she'll be ok. –Dawn"

I dropped the phone, running out the door and down the hallway. I was tackled before I reached the nurses desk.

"We saw, but you can't just go charging in there, how are you going to explain carrying her out of there?" Sam's voice was harsh.

"Maybe she hasn't done it yet, maybe I can stop her." I saw the look of pain on Quil's face, both of us knowing this was probably Claire's last chance at recovery. "I'm sorry; I just can't let her get hurt, not again. She just came back." I thought briefly of what she had said in the Jeep, that when I asked if she hadn't imprinted she didn't answer, what I felt when she kissed me. I knew she finally felt it too.

"She's already made that choice." I knew Sam was right, I just couldn't think of anything except getting to her.

"Here, I have an idea." Jake was pushing a cot, "I think this was for Claire, to move her to her new room." He grabbed Seth and Collin, "we'll create a diversion, Quil will go to Claire, and the rest of you get Dawn out of there."

We waiting, listening to Seth and Collin ask for directions at the nurses station, Jacob walking up and pretending to be drunk. If it hadn't been so serious I would have laughed. I didn't wait, not even for the stretcher; I snuck into Claire's room.

"Hey Emmy, why is the princess sleeping?" I saw, Claire was sitting up, her hands playing with Dawn's hair, Claire braiding bunches of it as Dawn was sitting in a chair, face down on Claire's bed. Her hands were still on Claire. I grabbed Dawn, cradling her to my chest like a child.

"She's not feeling well, but don't worry, you're much better now." I looked at Dawn's face, her eyes closed, bruises already forming around them, her body cold and pale.

"Em lay her down"

"Claire-bear, sweetie"

"Quil, I'm awake now, but the princess lady is sleeping."

"I can't believe she did that."

I could hear voices around me, the excitement of Claire being awake, the relief that she was ok, and the silence that came from Dawn.

"Em." Sam's voice got my attention, "Come on, lay her down so we can get her out of here." I kissed her cheek, laying her down, covering her with a blanket. "Everyone else, we need to get out of here," He looked out the door, "Right now, Quil, talk to Claire, make sure she understands."

Sam, Jared, Paul, and I wheeled down out of there, walking past the waiting room and getting in the elevator. "How is she?" Jared's voice was concerned.

I was holding her hand, "I don't know, she's breathing, but she's cold, I just need to get her out of here."

"Embry, where did you two park?"

Oh my God, she was planning this; she knew what she was going to do. I squeezed her hand, "Dawn, why, you planned this, you knew you were going to do this." I couldn't believe her.

Sam shook my shoulders, "Where are you parked?"

"She parked on level three, right across from where the elevators lands on the main level, just down a deserted hall and up three levels. She's in the back, in the dark. No one else was on the floor."

"She was smart, she thought about this."

I reached down, lifting her off the stretched when the elevator stopped, carrying her would be easier than using a stretcher, especially since none of us looked like hospital employees. I was still weakened from when she left; I took a step and stumbled, adjusting her.

"Here, let me help you."

I growled at Paul, "After what you said to her, how you treated her, you don't touch her!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder, "Easy Em, let me, I'll be careful." I looked at Jared, not wanting to give her up, but I didn't want to drop her either.

I lay her in his arms, the four of us running with her. The garage was still empty; I ripped open the door, adjusting the seat so Jared could lay her down. "Easy, please be careful." I crossed her with the seatbelt, brushing my lips over her as I did.

I could hear the rest of the pack, minus Quil coming. "Claire is convinced she saw an angel." Jake was grinning, "I think her parents just about had a heart attack."

"Are you taking Dawn home? Carlisle is waiting for her." Nessie's voice was concerned, "I can't believe she did that."

I turned to face Sam, "I'll be with Dawn." I left, driving back to Forks faster than I've ever made the trip before. The entire drive I held her hand, talking to her.

"I understand that you didn't want to see someone else in pain, but you should have told me, should have let someone be there with you. You scared me, the way you looked, curled up in the bed, you can't do stuff like that without telling me. I love you; I can't take seeing you look like that."

"What were Claire's injuries?" Carlisle was talking, Esme taking Dawn from the Jeep before I was completely in park.

I thought, "I'm not really too sure, I think just the head stuff." I was frantic, I didn't know what Claire's injuries had been, but I knew Dawn had them now.

"It's ok, I'll find out, right now I'm going to do some tests on Dawn, see what's going on."

I followed Carlisle inside, as I started to climb the steps I heard Jasper speak, "might as well just take a seat down here, it's a small space and you'll just be in the way." I could hear machinery coming to life, the mechanical humming noises.

"Does he have that up there all the time?" I had forgotten just how well off the Cullen's were.

"Nah, he just brings them up there when he needs them."

I was surprised, the drive had only taken an hour, how had they gotten everything set up so fast after Nessie called. "Wow, you guys move fast."

"The little girl, she's going to be ok now?"

I smiled, "Yeah, she thinks Dawn was an angel that came to visit her."

He grinned too, "I guess that's as good of an explanation as any."

I keep my ears tuned upstairs; trying not to think about the last time Dawn had been in that room. I realized that Edward and Bella were there, sitting quietly in a corner.

"She'll be ok, you know that. This isn't like last time." I knew Edward was answering questions that were in my head, that I was too afraid to put to words.

"I know, but we just finally" I let my voice trail off, Edward was with Bella, Jasper with Alice, they all understood. "I hate thinking of her like that. I just can't protect her from herself I guess."

Edward laughed, looking at Bella, "Trust me; headstrong women are hard to handle, but the most worth it." I turned away, not wanted to watch the two of them kiss. Jasper looked at Alice, turning back t me he nodded his agreement.

"For now she's alright, it looks like the hospital was right, there are a lot of clots, all it would have taken was for one of them to break loose. I talked to Sam at the hospital, someone grabbed her chart for him to read to me, they had tried blood thinners, clot busting, there was really nothing more they could do, especially with the swelling and her age." We had all stopped, turning to Carlisle as he walked down the stairs.

I jumped up, "She'll be alright? She'll heal?"

"Of course, she just needs some time, she'll be alright. I do have her sedated for now, and on painkillers. I expect in a day or two she'll be alright." I almost wanted to hug him, grateful for the news. Instead I ran past him on the steps, running to his office.

"She's over here, in her room." Esme's voice traveled down the hall. I turned hesitating briefly at Dawn's door. "Here, take my seat. I'll be up later to check on her, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

I sat down next to her, taking her hand. She looked like she was sleeping, not healing from Claire's injuries. I chuckled, seeing that Esme had tucked her stuffed squirrel from Nessie under the blanket with her. I wondered if Dawn ever named it. I hoped that she hadn't chosen something that Jake had suggested. I glanced around, seeing the artwork that decorated her room, the paintings a beautiful mix of nature and color. The photography was beautiful, I wondered if Dawn had painted and taken the photos. I knew she carried her camera with her; taking photo's all the time. I looked next to me at her nightstand; she had two framed pictures, one of her with her entire family. I noticed Ness was missing from is, that everyone was sitting around a fire. I assumed it had been taken her last night here, before she had left for Alaska.

It was the other that made me catch my breath. I slipped out the same worn, faded photo from my pocket, the one that she had taken the first day I met her. I remembered her angry words in a letter to me, that the photo was enclosed because she didn't want it anymore, that it didn't' mean anything to her. I set mine next to it, glad that it had meaning for her again. I scooted in closer, kissing her forehead, whispering, "Dawn, I know we still have a lot to talk about, a lot to think about and decide, as long as we're together, whatever it is, we can do it."

I stayed there with her, carrying her to Carlisle's office again in the early morning hours so he could take some additional pictures of her head. When I laid her back in her bed he motioned for me to follow him out. I saw that Bella and Edward were still there; I looked but didn't see Nessie. "She's spending the night in Seattle." Edward answered my thoughts.

I sat at the dining room table, joining everyone else. Esme slid a plate of breakfast in front of me. One of her legendary cinnamon rolls in the center. I grinned while thinking of telling Seth what he had missed out. I looked up, seeing Edwards with a smirking smile on his face. Carlisle started speaking, "She's looking better this morning, the clots have all resolved" he looked over at me, "I'm going to keep her on the pain killers, so she's comfortable, but I'm not going to sedate her anymore. She doesn't need the drugs and I don't want to give them if she's alright without them. Just know that she's probably going to be a little loopy, both from the drugs and her injuries."

Alice laughed, "So you're saying this would be a good time to play truth or dare with her?"

Even Carlisle grinned, "well I wouldn't she's going to be more tired than anything, but at this rate she should be up and talking later today." He paused, "I spoke with Sam again, the hospital is calling Claire's recovery miraculous, a miracle. It helps that she's telling everyone an angel came in to see her. Sam said that they've run every test they can think of on her, they're not finding anything; it's like she was never in the accident. He said she's got a few scars, but that's it. The scars must have been too far healed to be absorbed by Dawn."

I finished eating, thinking about everything Carlisle had said, just grateful that he was there to take care of her. "How long until she wakes up?"

"Wakes up, wakes up? Or until all the sedative is gone?"

"Until the sedative is gone, I was thinking about running home, changing my clothes, giving everyone an update, and then coming back." I was also realizing that I hadn't had a shower since the day Dawn left. I saw Edward make a face at that thought.

"I'm sure you can take a shower here, and Seth would be happy to bring you a change of clothes." Edward stood, opening the back door as Seth came out of the woods. "I thought you were on your way earlier."

"I was, but wanted to run a loop first." Seth walked in, his eyes brightening as he looked at my empty plate. "Esme, did you bake?" I could see his grin, his bright white teeth against his skin.

"Have a seat I'll get one for you, is anyone else coming?"

"Not yet, about half the pack is still in Seattle, the other half got home late last night. We didn't want to come over earlier and risk waking Dawn. How is she doing? Everyone, especially Quil is concerned about her."

"She's doing well, I was just telling everyone that I'm going to take her out of sedation today, she should be awake and up later today, but still a few days before she's one hundred percent."

"That's great, I'll let everyone know, everyone's been worried." He looked over at me, "Paul too, he was on patrol last night, and he feels bad about everything."

I was too tired to get angry, besides it was Paul, he was still my brother. "Could you bring me some clothes?" I gestured down at what I was wearing, "I need to grab a shower, but I don't want to leave, in case she wakes up."

He stuffed his mouth some more, "Uh-huh, besides Sam is making someone take a patrol around the Cullen's anyway, when I go back I'll make sure to tell them to bring them."

"Why the extra patrols?" Jasper looked at Seth.

He shrugged, "Dawn's family and she's hurt."

I grinned, loving Seth for the way he said it like it was the most natural thing in the world to say. I looked over at Carlisle, "ready?" He nodded and we walked upstairs with Esme, hearing Seth telling everyone else about how he had to distract the nurses so we could 'bust Dawn outta there.'

I watched as Carlisle's long fingers adjusted her I.V. tubes. Dawn's hand was back in mine. I felt a cold hard hand on my shoulder, Esme looking down on me, "it takes a while, you can breathe." I exhaled slowly, not realizing that I had been holding my breath.

"I know" I smiled at her, "I just don't know what to expect, I want her to wake up, to be ok, but I don't want to rush her."

"We know we feel the same way."

I laid my head down on the mattress next to Dawn; I must have drifted off, the next thing I knew I felt a hand on top of my head, someone running their fingers through my hair. "You're hair feels funny."

I lifted my head, Dawn's drunken words sounding like music to my ears. "Hey you, welcome back. How are you feeling?"

Her eyes were unfocussed, straining to zero in on my voice. I stood up, bending over so she could see me. I felt the warmth of love spread throughout me when she smiled, recognizing me. "Where did I go? I was with you." She grin grew, "I feel good, like I'm floaty."

"That's great hon, I'm glad you're not hurting, that you're floaty." I grinned, "Are you hurting anywhere, does anything hurt?"

I could see the concentration on her face, her face scrunching up in deep thought. "Nope, nothing hurts," she licked her lips, "but my mouth is dry."

I bent down kissing the end of her nose, making her giggle. "I'll be right back; I'll go get you a glass of water."

I stuck my head in Carlisle's office, "I heard. She's awake. I'll go check her while you get her water." I ran downstairs telling everyone that she was awake. Esme was walking out of the kitchen a glass in her hand, handing it to me as she walked upstairs behind me.

"This is soo good, water is" Dawn's head rolled, bouncing back up, "water is wet and nice." I smiled at her; even in her drug induced haze she was adorable. "Em, whoa, my brother and my boyfriend are both Em's, that's funny." She giggled then gasping brought her hands to her mouth, "is that what you are, my boyfriend now?" I could see Esme and Carlisle struggle to keep their laughter in, "boyfriend, that's a funny word, it should be soul-completer, or something like that." She yawned, and was asleep before she laid her head back on the pillow.

"So how much longer is she going to need the painkillers?" I could feel the flush on my face.

"At least another day, maybe two." Carlisle chuckled, "in the meantime just hope she sleeps more than she talks."

I heard Jasper call my name from the bottom of the stairs, I looked at Esme. "Sam is here, I'll stay with Dawn."

I walked downstairs with Carlisle, surprised to see Sam there. "Here, Seth said you needed these." He handed me a bag. "How is she doing?"

"She's doing much better than last night, she's on some painkillers and sleeping now, Carlisle thinks in another day or two she'll be back to normal."

"That's great, really good news." He shook Carlisle's hand. "We really appreciate this, I know she's family for you, but she is for us too."

Sam looked around uncomfortably, "Jake called, they're going to release Claire tomorrow. Her parents were pushing for today since they think the miracle they prayed for came, but the Dr's said they want to keep an eye on her for another 24 hrs before they want to send her home, especially since they live so far away."

"I can understand that, they just want what's best for her, and they're doctors, they're going to want to look for some sort of medical explaination."

"I guess we're all just thankful Dawn was there, that she did this for Claire, for all of us."

"Yeah, she's something else."

I spoke finally, "I'll be home," I looked at Carlisle, "when she's awake, awake and off the drugs. Until then I really want to be here, near her."

"We figured as much, Emily wanted you to tell her when you might be bringing her back to La Push, she wants to do something, something to officially introduce her to the pack. Just let her know when Dawn's up to it." Sam smiled, "Claire's asking about Halloween now, since it's today and she's in the hospital she's asking if she can celebrate it Saturday, the day after she gets released, so she doesn't miss out on candy."

"Yeah, I'd say she better."

I said good bye to Sam as he was leaving, he put his face near my ear, "Tell Dawn we're sorry, and we're grateful. Tell her I'm sorry." I was thinking of how to respond when Sam disappeared into the woods.

I went back to her room, listening to Dawn's steady breathing, knowing she was still asleep. "Esme, do you mind if I use her shower, if you'll stay with her I just need to jump in real quick and change into some clean clothes."

"It's fine, take your time, I don't mind sitting with her at all."

I stripped in Dawn's bathroom, stepping into her shower, all of her items staring back at me. I turned the water on, surprised at how hot she took her showers. I reached up, grabbing her shampoo, the fruitiness of it surrounding me, filling my senses. I stood under the water, thoughts of Dawn surrounding me like steam. I was trying to think, to remember everything that had happened recently. I wasn't angry with her; I understood why she took Claire's injuries that she didn't want Quil to hurt the way I had. I was thankful for that, but I was also saddened, that she didn't tell me what she had planned. That somewhere in Dawn, even now that the imprint was mutual, that there was a kernel of her that didn't trust me.

I shook my head, getting out of the shower. I dressed, still not quite believing that I was in Dawn's bathroom, taking a shower there. I went back in her room, Esme still with her. I tried not to stare, bet there was something beautiful about the way Esme gently brushed Dawn's hair back, whispering to her softly. I could understand why Dawn referred to her as her mother.

"Is she still sleeping?" I walked over, standing next to her.

"For now, she's been turning, mumbling, but I haven't been able to understand her." Esme smiled, "she did say your name."

I took Dawn's hand in mine, "I'm here, I'm right here." I looked over at Esme who was walking towards the door, "You don't have to leave, there's room for both of us."

"I know, but they'll be plenty of time to see her and spend time with her once she wakes. I think you need to be with her right now."

I sat with her all day, her family trickling in and out to check on her. Carlisle came in during the late morning; Dawn had woken a few times, her eyes frantic until she focused them on me, then drifting back to sleep. "I think after this last scan I'm going to start reducing her pain medication, I think she'll be fine with a lower dose, I can barely see any of the damage now." I looked at the scans he was scrutinizing, but to me they all looked the same. "Here, these are the ones I took last night, when she first got here, these are this mornings, and these are the ones we just took. See how the dark spots have disappeared, how the swelling has decreased?" I looked at what he was pointing out, nodding my head. "If I don't know this was Dawn's scan I would like it was the scan of a perfectly healthy, normal young woman."

I smiled, "That's great, thank you for showing, for explaining." I looked out his door, towards Dawn's room. "I'm going to go back, sit with her some more."

Carlisle walked back with me, removing all the tubes and wires from Dawn. "I'm going to leave one line in, but disconnected. I don't think she needs the pain killers anymore, but if she does it'll be easier to use what's there rather than run a new line."

I was impressed with Carlisle, with all the medical stuff going on, the starting of IV, the blood scent I knew was in the air, he never once looked rattled by it; it was like it completely didn't affect him.

Dawn stirred, opening her eyes. She began blinking rapidly, turning her head away from the sunlight. In a flash Carlisle had gone to the window, pulling the shades down. I watched her swallow, "Thanks." She had a small smile on her beautiful face.

"Here, do you need anything?" I helped her with a cup.

She shook her head, grimacing slightly. "No, my head just feels heavy, and the room is spinny."

Carlisle took a small flashlight, shining it into her eyes, "How are you feeling? Any headache? Dizziness? Lightheadedness?"

"No, just one question, who are you guys?"

Carlisle looked at me, I'm sure the look of concern on his face matched my own. Suddenly Dawn laughed, "Kidding, I know who you two are."

My heart began beating again, a bemused look on Carlisle's face, I laid my hands on the sides of her face, looking directly into her eyes, "That wasn't funny." I took a breath, trying to steady my wildly beating heart.

She grinned up at me. "It was a little funny."

Esme and Alice appeared in the doorway, "You're awake, that's great."

"Yeah," she moved her head back and forth, my hands pulled back. She looked at Carlisle, "The room is still spinning, just a little, and it's a little fuzzy around the edges." She lay back, nestling her head in her pillows.

"That will pass, give if a few more hours, but by tomorrow I think you'll be back to normal."

Alice laughed, "Normal?"

I wanted to glare at Alice, but couldn't, Dawn smiled at her. "More normal than you."

I could see Dawn's eyelids start to droop, Carlisle saw it too. "Alright, let's let her get some sleep, everyone can visit later." He placed a cold hand on my shoulder, "You can stay as long as you like." I nodded my head, but I yawned too.

"Would you like to stay here, I make a bed up on the chair for you if you'd like."

The realization of how tired I was hit, "That would be great, thanks Esme." I sat next to Dawn, pulling her hand in mine again. I leaned forward resting my forehead on the edge of her bed. I was already half asleep when Esme came in, laying a blanket over my shoulders and nudging my head up gently, laying the pillow underneath it.

"Embry, are you awake?" I felt fingers running through my hair; I smiled, slowing lifting my head, turning to face her.

"I am now, are you ok?" I realized it was night, the room darkening, and her face only visible through the glare of a nightlight. I turned my head, "A nightlight?" I looked at it closely laughing when I saw its shape.

She just grinned, "I don't like the dark, Emmett got it for me. Do you like it?"

I could only shake my head, leave it to Emmett to give her a Count Chocula nightlight. "How did you sleep? Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, just a small headache, and I'm hungry." I saw her eyes sparkle, "You want to help me raid the kitchen?"

"I think I should check with Carlisle, I don't want to have to explain to your family what I'm doing carrying you downstairs."

I heard her har-ump, "I can walk."

I went to the door, Carlisle walking out of his office, "if she's feeling up to it, it's fine, you can bring her down, I'll let Esme know you're coming down."

I turned around; Dawn was already out of bed, her back to me as she stood in front of her closet, changing into a shirt. My breath caught, partly at seeing her, even if from behind, only partially clothed, the gasp was when I saw how riddled she was with bite marks, her back shimmering like fish scales with the amount. I wanted to run to her, scoop her in my arms and hold her. I waited, turning away as she pulled a shirt on. I heard her take a step towards the door, when I did I came back in. "Carlisle said you could come down, but you need to be careful." I grinned, scooping her up in my arms.

"You don't need to carry me, I feel fine, I can walk!" Dawn's face turned to a pout, her arms crossed over her chest. "Put me down."

I looked down at her, bowing my head and brushing her cheek with my lips, "Just sit back, relax, and let me take care of you." I saw her smile, giving in.


	48. Chapter 48

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

I can't believe Embry was carrying me downstairs; I was fine, just fine. I was ignoring the headache I had, my stomach demanding more attention than it. I saw Alice and Jasper waiting at the bottom of the steps, both of them grinning at my discomfort of being carried. I waved my fingers at them, "How do you like my chariot, nice don't you think?" I swear I could almost hear Embry roll his eyes.

"We're glad you're feeling better, we were worried about you."

"I wasn't, I knew you were going to be fine, but now that you're up I can leave and not feel guilty." I saw Alice's eyes dancing, pulling on Jasper's hand. "We're going to run some errands, but don't worry we'll be back Saturday morning." I saw her eyes sparkling, I knew she was up to something, but I also knew she'd never tell me. She came over, hugging my in Embry's arms.

"Alright, let me get her to the kitchen before everyone starts hugging on her." Embry's voice was teasing, "I'm sure you'd all rather hug her than the two of us."

I sat at the counter, Embry next to me, watching Esme cooking. "Smells great, what is it?"

"Well since I can cook and not be bothered by the smell," she turned winking at me, "I decided to try something a little different. I'm making pizzas, I wasn't sure what you two would be in the mood for and this way you can decide what you want on it."

I smiled, thinking that was what Embry and I had the first time we went out together, I didn't consider it a first date, at the time I had only thought of him as a friend. "That's great, cause I am starving." I smiled at Embry, my fingers intertwined with his. I felt a flutter in my chest, a feeling of joy overtaking me.

I hugged Alice and Jasper as they were getting ready to leave, "Where are you going?"

Alice just grinned, "Don't worry we'll be back Saturday," her eyes flicked to the clock, "I guess I should say tomorrow. Just a quick errand, you'll see, it's a surprise for you and Ness." I looked past her shoulder, trying to catch Jasper's eye, hoping he would give me a hint.

"Nope, my lips are sealed, I know better than to ruin one of her surprises." He winked at me.

After they left I turned my attention back to Carlisle and Esme, "Is Ness home yet?"

"Yes, Jacob dropped her off a few hours ago, most of the pack returned as well."

"That's great, how's Claire doing?"

Embry looked at me, smiling, "she thinks you were an angel that came and made her better."

I felt a blush spread over my face, turning my ears red as well. I groaned putting my forehead down against the palm of my hand. "I hope you didn't tell them that." I motioned with my head towards the door Alice and Jasper had left through.

"Of course I did, Claire was right, you are an angel." I could see the love on his face, the way he looked at me.

'Great, I'm never going to live that down." I laughed, Esme too.

"You're sure you're feeling alright, no headache, no sensitivity to light, nothing like that?' Carlisle was looking at me closely.

I shrugged, "maybe a bit of a headache, but I'm hoping it will go away when I eat. Other than that I feel fine, still a little sleepy and I need a shower, but other than that I'm ok."

Esme put pizza dough in front of Embry and I, bowls of different toppings too, "Go ahead, be creative."

I grinned, using peperoni to make a smiley face, onions and black olives as hair, and red pepper rings for glasses. "What do you think?" I showed everyone.

"Looks great, but check out mine." Embry's was a mess of cheeses, and every topping that Esme had put out. He looked at me, at Esme's expression. "Don't worry it'll taste better than it looks."

After we finished eating I told Embry he could go home, he and I were both yawning, both taking very long blinks as we tried to talk. "Are you sure, I don't mind sleeping in the chair again, are you sure you feel better?'

I hugged him tightly, "I'm fine, and I don't want you sleeping in a chair. Besides I really need to see and talk to Nessie when I wake up, I really need to apologize for taking off again, for not asking her."

Embry returned my hug, "alright, just call me when you're done, I know you probably won't feel up to doing anything, but I can always come over and we can hang out here, together."

"Alright, I will. See you later, sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams Dawn." I watched him walk thru the yard, disappearing into the trees.

I went into the living room, glad that Esme was in there alone. "Esme, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course, what's on your mind?"

I sat down, chewing my bottom lip. "Do you think I'm going crazy?"

I saw the surprised look on Esme's face, "no, I don't think that, why, do you think that?"

I nodded, "Sometimes, I just feel" I breathed, "I just feel out of control, like my thoughts are racing around much faster than I can think about them, like sometimes I'm not in control of what I'm doing. It's like I have no impulse control. It scares me sometimes, that I'm going to do something that might be really bad, something I won't be able to fix or take back, but I can't stop myself. What if Jasper was right, the legend was right?"

Esme soothed my hair with her hands, "it could just be that you're trying to experience a lifetime's worth of living into the short time that you've been here. You had no freedom, no independent thought, no love for almost a century; it's not something you overcome quickly. You've gone from zero to sixty in a short amount of time; it's going to take some adjusting, some getting used to."

"You really think that's what it is, that eventually it'll stop?"

"I absolutely do, look at Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, even me, it took a while, sometimes years to adjust, but with time we all did. You will too."

I hugged her, yawning as I did. "Thanks Esme, goodnight." I paused, one foot on the steps, "You going to come up to tuck me in?" I smiled, she nodded her head.

I rolled over, squinting at my watch, with the curtains pulled in my room I couldn't tell if it was eleven am or pm. I stretched and pulled the blankets back, pulling the shades up as I went into the bathroom. The sunlight filled my room. I stepped into the shower, smiling to myself at the disarray, Embry must have showered here. I almost laughed thinking of how he must have smelled afterwards.

I bounced down the steps, stopping to tell Carlisle that I was going to Nessie's. On the walk over I rehearsed what I was going to say, what I wanted to tell her. As I came around the bend I saw the familiar red car parked in front. I almost stopped, turning around. I knew Jacob was still mad at me, most of the pack was I'm sure after what I did, barging in on Emily and Sam, confronting Paul, and once they learned of it, that I had visited Mrs. Uley. I steeled my nerves, walking into the house.

"Dawn, you look great, Esme said you were up, healed, but wow, that was fast." Bella looked up from her book.

"Thanks, I'm fine." I smiled, "Nessie in her room?"

"Yeah," Bella paused, looking slightly apologetic, "Jake's in there with her. He just got here."

I thanked her, and walked into Nessie's room. She jumped up, running over to me, inspecting me as she spoke. "Wow, I can't believe you're up already, I thought it would take longer. How are you feeling?"

I shrugged; already tired of everyone asking how I was feeling. "I'm fine, I just wanted to apologize, again, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving, didn't come to you for answers." I looked at Jacob, "How's Claire doing? Embry said she was alright?"

"She's coming home today." He looked at the clock, "she's probably on the road now." Jacob turned a critical eye on me, "about the last time I saw you, I'm sorry. Embry is like a brother, in most ways he is a brother, I just couldn't stand to see him hurting, that you were hurting him." He licked his lips, "what you did for Claire, for her family, for Quil, for all of us." He gently shook his head. "Thanks will never be enough."

I could feel a blush creeping over my face, "it's ok, I didn't understand before, I do now. I could never let someone go through that, experience that type of loss, if I hadn't been so focused of myself I would have been there earlier, done this sooner. I'm sorry it took my so long."

"Alright, everyone is sorry, everyone is forgiven." Nessie looked back and forth between Jake and me, "should you two hug, start over?" she grinned.

I looked over at Jake, he held his arms out. It was an awkward hug, but a hug none the less. "Great, now, you can tell me what's going on with you and Embry," she wiggled her eyebrows at me. "I heard he spent the night last night."

"He did, and I heard you spend last night with Jake in Seattle."

"Just at the hospital, we were hoping Claire would be discharged earlier."

"Yeah, Embry slept on a chair, he refused to leave until this morning, when I was able to get out of bed and move around without the painkillers. I sent him home after breakfast, the poor guy just looked exhausted, and I told him I'd call him when I woke up, after I talked to you."

"Well, we're going to be going back to La Push, to be there when Claire comes home, to help welcome her back." She looked at Jake, "You should come over with us."

I chewed my bottom lip, shaking my head. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, I'm pretty sure I pissed off a few people. I don't want to ruin the moment for Claire; they'll be plenty of time later for me to go over."

Jake snorted, "After what you did, and now that the imprint is mutual La Push is as much your home as here. Anyone who thinks or says differently is going to have to deal with Embry, me, and the rest of the pack."

I swallowed, "I think part of the pack is the problem." I recapped my visit at the hospital with Sam and Emily, then my shouting match with Paul afterwards.

I saw Nessie's eyes grow large, "I can't believe Paul controlled himself, he must have been ready to phase."

I interrupted, "phase?"

Jake spoke, "that what we call it, when we change from our human form to our wolf form." I couldn't help it; I involuntarily shuddered, not wanting to think about Embry, and everyone else being a wolf. I knew they weren't like the werewolves I knew from my past, but there were enough minor similarities that I still had fear. I saw Jake notice my shudder, "you know we're not like that, we could never hurt anyone." His voice was soft.

I nodded, "I know, and as long as I don't really think about it I'm ok, it's just picturing you, or Embry, or anyone like that is still scary for me."

"But it can be fun too," Nessie grinned at Jacob, "it's like riding a shaggy horse, soft and furry, and fast too." I could only stare at her, I hadn't thought of her being around Jacob in his wolf form, my experiences being that when werewolves were in their wolf form they were the most dangerous.

"You two have fun, I'm going to call Embry, tell him if he wants to stay and see Claire I don't mind." I drummed my fingers on my chin, "maybe he can come over later, since it was Halloween yesterday I'm sure they'll be a monster movie marathon on. You two should watch it with us."

"You know you're welcome to come, you don't need to feel like you don't belong with us." Jake's voice was authoritive.

I could only shake my head, "eventually, right now I just want to take baby steps." I walked with them to Jake's car, "So later? Monster movies and Chinese? We'll have the house practically to ourselves, Alice and Jasper won't be home until tomorrow and I don't know when Emmett and Rosalie are coming back, I heard it was an extended vacation."

"Yeah, I still wish you were coming." Nessie got in the car, "Don't get sushi" she made a face, "even if it is raw it's still gross."

I waved as they drove off, grabbing my cell and calling Embry.


	49. Chapter 49

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

I slept like I hadn't in years. I dreamt of Dawn, of what it was like to just be near her. My dreams were invaded by the ringing of the phone. I waited hoping that someone else was home to answer it. I heard the machine click, "Hey Embry, its Dawn you're probably still sleeping."

I ran down the hallway, almost ripping the phone off the wall, "no, I'm here, I'm here. Good morning." I smiled; even if she wasn't there it was wonderful to wake up to her voice.

Dawn laughed, "It's afternoon. I'm sorry, did I wake you? Jake and Ness just left, Claire's coming home and they're heading to her welcome back celebration."

"No, it's alright; you're not coming down with them? Or did you want me to pick you up?" I racked my brain, hoping that if she wanted me to pick her up I could borrow Jake's car.

Her voice dropped, "I'm not coming, I don't think that's a good place for me right now." Her voice rushed on, "but I was wondering if later, after the welcome back party you'd like to come over? I talked with Ness and Jake, since yesterday was Halloween we're going to get together, eat Chinese, watch monster movies, and just hang out. You want to come too?"

Of course I did, "yeah, that sounds great, but you can come here, go to Claire's welcome home."

Dawn was silent; I could hear her take a deep breath. "I just don't think that's a good idea, maybe some other time."

I didn't want to push it, push Dawn past her comfortable level. "Alright, I'll see you later, around eight-ish?"

"That should be fine, can't wait to see you."

"Me too." I hung up, realizing that I was standing in the kitchen naked in my haste to answer the phone. I heard Jake and Nessie coming up the walk. I grinned, but ran back to my room.

"Anyone else want anything?" I shut the fridge, looking at the picture hanging there. I gasped, ripping the picture off. "Oh. My. God." I couldn't take my eyes off the drawing.

"What it is?" I could hear Jake, but I was unable to answer him. I just pointed, showing him the picture. He cocked his head, "what?" He took it from my hand, understanding "did she see this?"

"See what, what are you two talking about?" Nessie came to stand in the kitchen with us, "let me see." She took the picture from Jake, "I don't' see anything." Jake pointed to the arms of the princess Claire had drawn; both arms had small silver dots. Dawn's bite marks. "How did Claire know, Dawn always keeps them hidden."

I swallowed, reliving the painful memory, "the night she ran away, the day before she left for Alaska, she ran to First Beach. Quil and Claire were there, Claire saw that she was crying so being Claire she went over to her and started talking to her. Dawn's sleeves came up in the wind and Claire saw her scars, but because they glitter Claire was convinced that Dawn was really a princess in hiding." I smiled at the memory, Claire had wondered out loud if Dawn had been a princess or maybe a mermaid. "I guess when Claire drew her princess she remembered Dawn."

"Dawn saw this?"

I nodded, that night making more sense to me now. "Yeah, she was at the fridge getting me a glass of water and suddenly she asked me who drew the picture, when I told her she practically pushed me out of the door, speeding all the way to the hospital, once we got there, well you all know the rest."

"That's incredible," Jake looked at me, "you know what Quil said once, about how he wondered if because you had imprinted to Dawn while phased, while we were all phased, that we all experienced it as you did, if we were all somehow linked more closely to Dawn than to everyone else's imprints? I think maybe he was right, and maybe for Dawn, now that she feels the imprint too, she feels linked to the pack in a way that the other imprintees don't."

Nessie's voice was thoughtful, "Maybe that's why Paul was able to control his temper, why he didn't phase in front of her, I've seen a lot less make him phase, even when he's with Rachel."

We were all quiet for a moment, each lost in our own thoughts. Quil came in the house, breaking the mood, "Claire's home! I just need a quick shower and then you're all coming over there with me, right, to celebrate her return?" I looked at Quil; he was almost quivering with excitement. "I just can't believe it, it's like she was never in the accident, like it never happened." He stopped, pausing to look at me, "How's Dawn? I talked to Sam, he said she was doing alright, but how is she really?"

I could only smile, "She's fine. She woke up early this morning almost completely back to normal wanting to raid the kitchen. She's been asking about Claire, wanting to know that she's ok."

Quil's grin grew, "well she's coming over, right? To Claire's?"

I could only shake my head, "she said she's not ready for that, not yet."

"But I thought you just said she was fine?"

"Physically yes, she's just not sure she's ready to be around the pack." I swallowed, "A lot happened while you were at the hospital with Claire, but the important thing is she's back and she's with me." I smiled, so happy to finally be able to say that.

Ness laughed, "She picked a fight with Sam and with Paul."

Quil's eyes got big, "I must have missed a lot."

We waited for Quil, the four of us going to Claire's together, her friends and family already gathered. Everyone was talking about how miraculous it was, how she was on death's door and according to Claire "my angel came, she whispered my name and told me it was going to be ok. She held my hand, and bowed her head." I could feel a lump rising in my throat; I still couldn't believe that Dawn had been willing to take Claire's injuries, to put herself through that. I had to answer everyone's questions about where she was, why she didn't come. When Paul and Rachel made their way over to me it took everything I had not to punch him. Just looking at him, at how he had treated her, made me angry.

"Dawn didn't come? Is she alright, I was hoping to finally meet her, I've heard so much about her not just what everyone here is talking about, but from Nessie and Jake too." Rachel looked around, "I talked to Nessie, and she said Dawn was alright, that she was already healed from Claire's injuries."

I growled, looking at Paul standing next to her, "Maybe you should ask Paul, he made it clear to her that she wasn't welcome around here, wasn't wanted so she's at home right now, alone." I turned, not wanted to even look at him anymore.

Sam was harder to avoid, I was angry at him too, but not as much as I was at Paul. "If you'd give him a chance he wants to apologize, he knows he was out of line."

"It's not me he needs to apologize to it's her." I looked at Sam, "I may be pissed, but we're members of the same pack, we're all brothers. I'll get over it, Dawn on the other hand deserves better, not because of what she did, but because of who she is." I raised an eyebrow at Sam, "all she wanted was answers, I should have given them to her myself, but I didn't. Her going to another member of the pack and being treated the way she was, that was inexcusable." I knew I couldn't tell Sam that I thought he needed to apologize to her as well, he was the Alpha after all, but I'm sure he knew what my meaning was.

"I know." Sam's voice was quiet, "I know I need to apologize to her, I will." He looked at me, "she's doing alright otherwise? If she needs anything, anything at all just let me know."

I shook my head, "I will." I tilted my head towards Quil, "I thought he was wrapped around her finger before." I grinned as he was running around with her on his back. "I'm glad she's home, that she's alright."

Quil made his way over to us, Claire still riding on his back. "You need to dress up." I looked up at Claire, at Quil too, a question on my face. "My Quil said that tomorrow could be my Halloween, since I wasn't here yesterday." She grinned, "with candy, and trick and treating, and a bonfire for marshmallows, and costumes, and" she took a breath, "and everybody there!"

I grinned over at Sam, "What are you going to dress up as Claire?"

Her face scrunched up, she was in deep thought. She suddenly brightened, "I'm going to dress up like a kitty cat, and my Quil can be a mouse or a puppy!"

Sam and I both laughed, "I think a puppy."

Quil glared at me, and then laughed too. "Great, so you'll both be there, with Emily and Dawn?"

Claire clapped her hands together, "who's Dawn? She can come too." Claire's eyes were dancing around, tugging on Quil's hair, "let's go tell everybouudy, everybuddy can come!"

Emily walked over, Jared, Kim, Jake, and Nessie trailing her. "So I take it Claire just invited you to her Halloween party?"

I nodded, "She's going to be a kitty, and she's going to make Quil be a puppy." I laughed, looking at Kim and Jared, and Jake and Nessie. "What are you going to be?"

Kim grinned, "I think I still have our costumes from last year, maybe we'll just recycle them." Jared rolled his eyes, no doubt remembering how long we teased him after he wore a pirate suit.

I looked over at Ness and Jake, Nessie grinning wickedly, "I'm going to have to talk to Dawn, but I think Emmett and Rosalie have a Dracula and Mrs. Dracula costume." She looked at me, "If Jake and I wear that, I think Alice and Jasper have a confederate soldier and southern Belle costume for you two."

I could only shake my head, "I don't know, I'll ask her, but I wouldn't get my hopes up." I looked over at Jake, "Dawn asked for us to over there tonight around 8, can I get a ride with you and Nessie?"

"No problem, we'll be ready soon. She sent Nessie a text earlier, we need to bring pajamas." He grinned, "She's decided it would be a slumber party. You should try to convince her to come out tomorrow; it might be the last time we get to use the pavilion this year."


	50. Chapter 50

CHAPTER FIFTY

I looked around the living room one more time, not sure why I was feeling so nervous. I had talked to Alice earlier in the day, listening to her tell me what all I needed to have a movie marathon, even agreeing with her when she suggested it should be a sleep-over. I could tell Edward wasn't thrilled when I asked if Ness could stay, especially when I mentioned that Jake and Embry were going to be invited to stay too. I finally talked him into it with help from Bella, saying that it was going to be the four of us, in the living room, and Carlisle and Esme were going to be home. I even invited him and Bella to come and stay for a while.

Esme helped me, putting up Halloween decoration while I drove to town to pick up the food. I remembered what Alice had said about slumber parties being about staying up all night, scary movies, talking, and eating junk food. I bought a bunch of candy, some chips, and more soda. As I was about to stand in the line to pay I saw my favorite, green colored sno-balls, I bought all they had. When I got back home I saw that Esme had added pillows to the couch and laid sleeping bags and blankets on the floor. She had even found Emmett's collection of classic horror flicks. I was looking forward to 'The Blob' something about ooze that followed you around looked interesting.

I finally heard them pull up; I had to stop myself from running to the door. I waited, taking a few deep breaths, trying to talk myself into calming down; it was Ness, Jake, and Embry. I smoothed my hands down the front of my shirt and walked out to meet them in the driveway.

"Hey" I saw Embry cock his head to the side, "are you wearing pajamas?"

"Yes, didn't you get my text? It's now a slumber party." I grinned, looking at Ness, "your mom brought yours over, and they're upstairs in my room." I walked over, wanting to be nearer to Embry.

Jake groaned, "How did you get this idea? A slumber party?"

"Alice, and I already talked to Edward and Bella, everyone is sleeping over."

"Oh, in that case, let's get this slumber party started." He grinned at Ness, his face full of adoration.

"Did you two bring pajamas?" I looked at Embry.

He blushed, his voice low, "I don't usually sleep in pajamas, but I brought sweats and a t-shirt."

I was puzzled, "if you don't wear pajamas what do you sleep in?"

Jake howled with laughter, "Yeah Embry, what do you sleep in?"

Embry's russet skin turned a deeper shade of red, he growled at Jake, "never-mind that. I brought something for tonight that's all that matters." Embry took my hand, walking in the house with me. "Wow, all this just for a night of movies?" He looked around, the kitchen was also decorated. Esme had hung bats from the ceiling, crepe paper hanging in the doorways, orange twinkle lights along the wall and lit candles everywhere.

I nodded, "I talked to Alice, and she gave me a bunch of ideas." I grinned up at him.

I saw him and Jake roll their eyes, "Alice that explains a lot."

I could only cock my head, "wait until you see the living room, Esme and I made it look like a spider's web." I clapped my hands together, "Alright Nessie can change first, you guys can use my room when she's done, but can you help me in the kitchen first? I just need to reheat the food and grab sodas."

We all nestled on the couch, Jake and Nessie on one arm of the L shape, Embry and I on the other. "What do you want to watch first?" Embry was rifling through the cases, "I would recommend Psycho, it's a classic, or the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, maybe even the Alfred Hitchcock collection."

I spoke, "I was thinking maybe the Blob? It looks like it might be good." I looked over at Nessie and Jake who were already snuggled up together, barely paying attention. "Have you seen it?"

"Oh, what? What movie?" Nessie face was crimson, "I missed that, can you repeat?"

"The Blob, have you seen it?" Embry held up the case, "and just so you know your parents might be coming by, your dad wasn't too thrilled that Jake and Embry, but mostly Jake, was staying over."

Nessie just grinned, "Whatever you pick is fine, and I figured dad would be over eventually, but for now he's not here."

Embry started the movie; I cuddled in close to him. I loved his arm over my shoulders, the way my head fit perfectly against his chest. I also liked that he didn't care that I jumped during the movie, squeezing his hand and making Jake laugh when I did. Nessie picked the next movie; even she jumped during the shower scene, clutching Jake so hard he yelped. Edward came in periodically, Esme and Carlisle too. They said it was just to see how things were going, but I saw the looks Edward was giving Jake, obviously not pleased with his thoughts. After the second movie we all took a break, going to the kitchen to liberate the snacks from the cabinets. "What did you do, buy one of everything?"

I could only nod; I had a mouthful of chips. Edward spoke, "so have you all decided on costumes for tomorrow?"

I saw Embry swallow, Nessie and Jake both looking at me out of the corner of their eyes. "Well, I uh, I haven't had a chance to talk to Dawn about that yet," Embry gave Edward a dirty look, "but since you brought it up, Dawn, you want to go to a Halloween party tomorrow?"

I swallowed, looking at everyone, seeing a crooked smile on Edwards face, a look of amusement of Ness and Jake. Embry just looked slightly ill. "I don't have a costume and where is it?"

"At the Res, it's for Claire. She was in the hospital for the actual holiday so everyone decided to have a Halloween bonfire tomorrow for her, everyone is dressing up, playing games, it will be a lot of fun. I would really like you to come, everyone tonight was asking about you, wondering why you weren't there."

I saw the look of expectation on Embry face, his silent plea. I took a breath, not sure. "Alright, but if it starts to feel weird or anyone, if anything happens I'm leaving."

"That's fine. As long as you come." Embry wrapped me in a sideways hug. He looked at Ness, "what costumes did you say you had here?"

She grinned, "When Alice gets home tomorrow I know she has some we can go through, she loves any reason to dress up."

Edward spoke, "I know Emmett has a Dracula costume" he rolled his eyes, "he thinks it's the best costume ever."

I laughed, looking a Jacob, "I think you should wear that."

Jake just shook his head, but then grinned back, "I will if you and Embry go as Red Riding Hood and a wolf." I saw him and Embry exchange a look.

I agreed, wondering where I was going to find a red riding hood costume, and looking at Embry, "where are you going to find a wolf costume?" He winked at me, "NO! Absolutely not, that will freak me out, if you show up like that." I could feel myself start to shake at the thought of seeing Embry as his wolf self.

He spoke quickly, "no, no, no, that's not what I meant, not at all. I was just thinking I could dress like this, everyone there is already going to know what I am." He squeezed my hand, looking at me. "I would never do that, never be like in front of you, not until you were ready. I swear."

Edward broke the mood, "well there's plenty of time tomorrow to plan costumes, right now why don't you go back in there and find another movie." He gave Jake a hard look, "and concentrate on the story, not on other things."

Jake had the good sense to look apologetic as he walked out of the kitchen, grabbing a bowl of chips as he passed.

Ness and I decided to lie on the floor, using the sleeping bags much to the rolled eyes of Embry and Jake who said the couch was more comfortable. Ness laughed, "That's just because you guys are getting old."

"Old?" Jake looked over at Embry, "we're only what, 23 and 22 now? That's not old."

I looked back and forth between them, "really, you're still babies then."

They all looked at me, Nessie covering her mouth with her hands. "How old are you then?"

I swallowed, I forgot they didn't know. "Older" I squeaked. Nessie started laughing.

"How much older is that?" I shook my head, I couldn't believe this.

"We're not quite sure, but the best guess is somewhere between 90 and 110." Jake started laughing rolling off the couch; Embry just stared at me, his mouth hanging open. I looked down at my hands, "I'm still loads younger than Carlisle." My voice was quiet. That only made Jake and Nessie laugh more.

Embry looked like he was in shock, "how is that possible?" He was unblinking.

I nudged Jake and Nessie with my foot, trying to get them to be quiet. "Well, ok, look at Ness, she's only like what, five, six years old but she looks way older. Because she's half vampire she'll stop aging when she reached full maturity. That's kind of what happened to me." I saw Jake and Embry staring at me, both of them with questions on their faces.

Embry whispered, "But I thought you weren't part vamp, only human." His eyes were wild looking.

"I am, but because I was exposed to so many bites, both vampire and werewolf it kind of changed me, slowed down my again, when Carlisle did the math it comes out to something like for every year I age I live five years, more or less." I took a breath, looking between them. "See, that's why I was worried about us, before the Imprint was mutual, you'll get old and age way before I do."

Jake started laughing again, "Nah, we can stop aging too, that's what I'm doing, to stay with Nessie."

I just looked in surprise at Embry, "really, you can do that?"

Embry looked overwhelmed, like he was in shock. He nodded his head, his jaw closing with a snap. "Yeah, as long as I keep phasing I stay 17 forever. I always thought once I imprinted and found someone I would have to stop eventually." He smiled, "but now I can do this forever." He looked at Jake, "this is just crazy!"

I reached up patting him on the leg, "just wait until you find out I can breathe fire too." I saw everyone's eyes on me now. I started laughing, "Kidding, just kidding." I hit play on the remote.

"That wasn't funny." Embry's voice carried over the start of the movie, making me and Ness laugh even harder.

Nessie and I must have woken up around the same time, I blinking, looking over the rising and falling chest of Jake, his snores blending with Embry's to make the living room sound like a bear cave. I smiled seeing her untangling herself from Jake the same way I was trying to untangle from Embry. We both stood, tiptoeing to the kitchen, giggling at their noises.

"Thank God you two are finally awake, I was thinking of going in there and waking you soon!"

"Alice!" We ran across the kitchen, both of us hugging her. "How was your trip? Anything exciting happen?"

Esme was pulling a pan out of the oven, "breakfast is ready if you're hungry." I snagged one of Esme's rolls, even if Ness said she was full of human food after last night.

The kitchen was full, everyone but Rosalie and Emmett filling the space. "Here, I got these for you; I knew you'd need them." Alice handed Ness and I a bag each. I ripped my open, revealing a beautiful princess costume. I looked over at Ness open hers, she started laughing uncontrollably.

"Alice, are you sure you gave us the right bags?" She held up her costume for me to see, it was Red Riding Hood. I started laughing too.

I felt everyone's eyes on me and Ness, "Yes, since Claire said she thought Dawn was an angel I wanted to get her that costume, but they were out, this was as close as I could find. And for you, I just thought it would be fun for you and Jake. What's so funny?" I was laughing too hard to explain, but Ness did. "Oh, well in that case, here." Alice took the costumes and crossed her arms, handing me the cape and Ness the dress.

"What did we miss?" Jake and Embry walked in, "ohh, Esme made rolls."

"Help yourselves" Esme handed them plates, "milk and juice is in the fridge."

Embry sat at the corner next to me, finishing my roll when I pushed it his way. "What did we miss?" His mouth was full, his words muffled.

"Look." I stood showing him the cape.

I saw him swallow, "so you're really coming?" I nodded my head; he jumped up pulling me into a breathtaking hug. "That's great! You'll see. You'll have fun."

"Umm, Embry, I don't think she can breathe." He let me go. I looked over winking at Edward, mouthing thanks. He smiled back. "So what are you kids up to today, besides the Halloween party tonight?"

Jake spoke, "not a whole lot, we'll probably head over soon, I'm sure they'll need Embry and I's help to get everything set up." He looked over at Ness and I, "we can come back in a few hours, pick you to bring you over."

I spoke up quickly; I had no intention of not driving myself there. I wanted to know that if I wanted to I could leave immediately. "That's alright, I'll bring Nessie over."

"Is there anything you need? Do Nessie and Dawn need to bring anything? Candy? Dessert?" Esme asked.

"I don't think so, but thank you for the offer."

After they left I tried to keep my thoughts to myself, to purposely think about things that wouldn't tip off Edward to what I was planning. He and Bella left with Ness "I'll be back in an hour or two, we can get ready together." Ness waved as she walked out the door.

"See ya!" I looked around, biting my bottom lip. I walked in the living room, smiling at the attempt they had made of folding the blankets and sleeping bags. I shook them out, ready to be refolded. "Here, let me help." I smiled at Esme. "Did you all have a good time last night? It sounded like everyone had fun."

"It was, psycho was a little scary though, makes me want to take a shower with the door open." I laughed. Once everything was cleaned up I took the opportunity, not knowing if I would get another one anytime soon. "Jasper, can I ask you about something?"

He looked over at me, putting his book down. "Sure, what's on your mind?"

"I was wondering about your scars, what happened?"

I saw him stiffen slightly, I held my breath, could he sense what I was doing? "Well, I got them a long time ago, before I knew better, before I met Alice and before we were a part of this family." I moved, sitting in a chair next to him, wanting him to go on. I sat there, listening to him talk about Maria, about what it was like training newborns, about fighting. I felt horrible, I could hear in his voice this wasn't a pleasant subject for him, but I needed to hear him talk about it, to describe the bites. I waited, waited until he was distracted by his story, too distracted to notice what I was planning, what I was doing. "It was acid, each bite tearing into me, trying to rip me apart." I knew it was time, I could hear the inflection of his voice change. I reached out, putting my hand on his forearm, covering a scar. I stiffened; I could feel my hand tighten around his arm, a bitter acidic taste filling my mouth, a calm falling over me. "Dawn! Dawn, stop it!" I looked at Jasper; there was anger on his face. I felt bad immediately.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't know another way." I started to cry, "I wasn't trying to make you remember just to be mean, I had to have you feel it so I could." I looked down.

Jasper voice was calmer, "but why?"

"I think you're right, that I am going crazy, that I might go insane. I can't stop, can't stop shaking, can't stop my thoughts from racing all the time, can hardly sleep." I looked up at him, "I'm sorry, I didn't' know what else to do, I didn't think there was any other way."

"I could be wrong, Carlisle could be right, you may just need time to adjust. Why don't you wait a while, see what happens. In the meantime, don't do this, not to me, not to anyone." He stood, "I know you didn't mean it, didn't realize what you were doing, so I won't say anything, but don't do this again." He hugged me, "I'm not really mad, just, I don't want to see you doing this to yourself, going through this if you don't need to."


	51. Chapter 51

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

Dawn was beautiful, Nessie too. I watched them as they walked to the beach to join us. Dawn was carrying a bag, she and Nessie were both laughing. "Here, this is for you, I'm red riding hood, you're Dracula." She handed the bag to Jake.

"Really, you're going to make me wear this? All night?"

"You're the one who said you would if I wore this." Dawn spun around, her red cape spinning with her. She looked at me and laughed, "Nice to see that you dressed up."

I looked down, "I'm the woodsman from the story, the wolf was big and bad, totally a mischaracterized." I could tell Dawn was slightly uncomfortable, she was trying hard to hide it, but I could see her eyes darting around, the way she was chewing on her bottom lip. "Why don't I take that from you, I'm sure it will be appreciated." I took a plastic container from Ness.

I turned to bring it to the table with the rest of the food when I felt Dawns hand in mine, gripping it like a vise. "Just hold my hand, don't let go." I heard the waver in her voice, could feel how sweaty her palms were.

I squeezed back, "I won't, take a deep breath, it's ok, everyone here knows you and wants you here. You're safe here." I did my best to reassure her, telling her who people where as I saw them, pointing out their costumes. Laughing as I saw Kim and Jared, Jared as a glum looking pirate, Kim as his beautiful pirate wench. "Would you like to go over, meet Quil and Claire? They're the Kitten and the dog." I saw the tiniest of nods, gently steering her in their direction. "Quil, Claire, this is my friend Dawn, Dawn this is Claire and Quil."

Dawn smiled, kneeling down to Claire's eye level, "I've heard a lot about you, I'm so glad you're feeling better. You are a very beautiful kitty." I saw the look of surprise, Dawn dropping my hand as Claire hugged her, whispering something I couldn't hear in her ear. I saw the grin on both their faces as they pulled apart, Dawn winking at her. I was surprised when Quil hugged her to, telling her he was glad she came.

Once we were out of hearing range, deciding to walk along the beach, I asked what Claire had said to her. She grinned, "She asked me if my wings were under my cape." I laughed too, pulling Dawn into a hug, brushing my lips across her cheek, whispering that she was my angel also. I saw her face blush when I pulled back.

"Come on you two, enough of that, it's time to go bobbing for apples and the pumpkin carving." I rolled my eyes, Seth ruining the moment.

"What's that, the bobbing?"

"It's easier to show than tell, come on, it's fun." I pulled her back up to the pavilion, seeing that Sam and Paul were both manning the grills. Dawn laughed, clapping her hands together when I pulled my head out of the water, an apple firmly between my teeth. She helped me carve the pumpkin, lighting the candle and turning it into a Jack-o-lantern. We grabbed plates, finding a place at the table with Jake, Ness, Kim, and Jared. I was relieved to see that Dawn and Kim talked like they had before. I looked across the table at Jared, shooting him silent thanks with my glance.

We made our way over to the fire; I wanted to find a comfortable place for us to sit, to listen to the ghost stories that would be shared tonight for Halloween. I also wanted to find a prime location for the surprise I knew was coming later, knowing that Dawn would enjoy it, especially since it was meant for her. I saw Jake whispering to Ness, winking at me. Ness's face registered the surprise, smiling at me and turning to kiss Jake. "Here, this looks like a good spot, close to the fire, a log to lean on, and it's a great view of the ocean."

Dawn looked at me, "a view of the ocean? At night?" She only smiled and shook her head, sitting on the ground next to me. Sam called everyone over, letting everyone know we were about to start. We also listened as Quil gave an emotional speech, thanking everyone for their help when Claire was in the hospital, Claire spoke too, just to say thank you and tell everyone that an angel had visited her. I hoped I was the only one who noticed that she looked at Dawn when she described her angel. I would have to talk to Quil about that, to make sure Claire didn't spill the beans. Jake went first telling the story of the headless horseman, by the time we got to the babysitting getting calls from inside her own house I could tell Dawn was getting chilled. I tucked my arm around her more, hoping that enough of my heat would encompass her to take off the chill. She kept scooting closer, until she was sitting between my legs, leaning her back against my chest as I leaned against the log. She had my arms wrapped around her, squeezing my hands during the scary parts of the stories. When it was my turn I thought for a second, telling the story of the hook left on the car door. I felt her lean her head back, smelling her hair as she did. As Collin started his story she turned her head, her cheek now on me. Once we had gone around the circle, everyone getting a chance to be a storyteller it came back to Sam.

"Tonight is a special night; tonight we celebrate the return of an injured member. We celebrate that Emily and Claire are both healthy, both recovered from their accident. We welcome the newest member of our pack, the newest member of our family. We welcome her and we thank her for her gift to us. Tonight we have a special display, both to share our joy that we are together, but also for someone who wasn't here for this when they should have been, they didn't miss it, it was just delayed."

I felt Dawn sit up, turning around to face me, "what is he talking about?" Her voice was a whisper.

"Shh, just watch." I whispered back, pointing out over the water. The timing was perfect; there was an explosion of color in the sky. Jake had helped, talking to Carlisle and Jasper to liberate Emmett's fireworks stash for tonight. I didn't even watch the display, choosing instead to watch Dawn watch them. Her face shown with joy, her smile lighting the night.

She breathed out when they were over, "Thank you, that was amazing, just what I wanted the fourth to be like, watching the fireworks in your arms." She was so beautiful, her eyes sparkling, her face tilted towards me. I leaned forward, kissing her lips. My arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer. I felt her arms slide around my neck, her lips parting under mine.


	52. Epilogue

1

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

I would like to be able to say that after that night it was a fairy tale for Embry and me. That with that first real kiss everything else melted away and we lived happily ever after. We did eventually get our happy ending, but it was hard fraught and even today, years later we still work to overcome obstacles and be happy.

I had once thought the imprinting was the worst thing to have ever happened to me, but it proved to be the absolute best thing. Eventually the pack all came around even Paul. He and I danced together at Kim and Jared's wedding, able to laugh about the past. It was a beautiful wedding, second only to Nessie and Jakes a few years later. Their wedding was amazing, so see so many people there to love and support them both. Leah came back for it; she had changed in the time since she left. She had softened and learned to relax. It was beautiful, Edward walking her down the aisle, I stood with Alice, Rosalie, Bella, Rachel, and Kim. Embry has asked of course, if we're going to get married as well. Right now the only answer I can give him is I don't know. I do love him; I love him more than I love myself at times. Jasper was correct, what I had jokingly referred to as venom booster shots at one time were eventually needed. Every year now we have a family reunion of sorts, the Cullen Coven and the La Push Pack, to reminisce, to catch up, and to have the Wolves vs. Vampire softball game.

Embry and I settled in the woods around La Push, he was unwilling to leave, to be away from the pack. I have great neighbors, Ness and Jacob on one side, Quil and Claire on the other. It's amazing, Claire never revealed my secret to anyone outside the pack, even when she was a teen and went through a rebellious streak, pushing everyone away, even Quil. Claire has become my best friend, even naming me as godmother to her daughter.

I often wonder what Embry and I's future will hold, how long we can hide, neither one of us aging. Ness and Jake have thought about it as well, planning to join her family for their next move. Jake has said that he will continue to phase wherever they go, keeping himself Ness's age forever. Embry has offered to do the same for me, but I do age, however slowly. For now he phases, he'll eventually take the Alpha mantle from Jake, and will lead the pack.

After Mrs. Uley's passing I told him the truth about his father, now that she was gone I felt it was time for the secret to be shared. He and Sam's relationship didn't change, they had always been brothers. Sam and Emily's kids are great; they had always called Embry uncle and now that the truth was out, that he really was they thought it was even better.

I still occasionally have nightmares, waking up in cold sweats, screaming at some memory. Embry holds me, whispering that it's ok, that he will protect me. I believe him, and I hug him back, wishing there was a way for me to be all that he is to me for him.


End file.
